Felling a little down tonight.

[Larry P.]

Just sitting here thinking about the last year. I have five days left in mt intersession class and I graduate with a degree in History with a minor in education.

My son is asleep in the next room. My wife and I had problems for years. Last Jan it got really bad, by October she asked me to leave. I was right in the middle of student teaching with no job. I get pissed when I remember how I helped put her through her masters degree.

So now I'm sitting is in a basement apartment in my folks house. Barely making 250 a week and she's in the house we bought 18 months ago. The one she swore would make her happy.

But on the bright side my son loves me and would rather be with me than her. I finish school next friday. On tuesday she is giving me the $ for the house not musch but some. Then I'll make an offer on the boat and start looking for a teaching job.

just have to keep plugging

[Katherine]

Some days you're the bird, some days you're the statue.

[Peter Malcolm Jardine]

Sometimes it gets dark before it gets light again... but it sure isn't fun when you're where you are Larry... been there, done that. It's hard, even if the relationship was not that good, to get over having someone around all the time that really does know you well. In time you wil recognize the ups and downs and arounds, but I know it feels lousy right now.

On the up side, you finished your degree, you have parents who are supporting you in your time of need, you have a great son who loves you, and spring is not too far off. Try to get out and do some stuff... not drinking and partying, but you know.. stuff. Still thinking about that boat? I guess that's when the house sells..

I hate this time of year too. Dark and shiitty... cold... I ain't a winter person.

[Mrleft8]

Yer head's harder than the wall Larry. As much as it sux, yer better than the rest of the world.

[Larry P.]

Still DREAMING about the boat Pete. We're not selling the house. I took less so she could aford to buy me out and wouldn't have to move. She does love the house. The check clears on Tues, on Tues eve. I'll make an offer on the boat. Keeping my fingers crossed.

[Larry P.]

As long as my little man thinks of me as the greates I'm better than anyone in the world. Doesn't stop me from getting a little down now and again.

[Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson )]

Originally posted by Larry P.:
just have to keep pluggingThats the key.

Sounds like I'm making a royal mess of communicating on this dang thing tonight. But Larry I wish you the best and you sound like a good man a good dad. Just keep plugging and we will all go sailing in the spring.

Spring is coming.

[Katherine]

Do you plan on looking for a job in your area, or would you be better off making a fresh start somewhere else?

[Peter Malcolm Jardine]

Well, I will... but if this one doesn't work out, then there will be others. There is a life after this Larry... and women. Altho that takes time to even think about trusting one again...I lived alone ten years.. girlfriends yes, but I had just one set of keys. LOL

Frankly, I think women recover from split ups faster than men. I guess I might be biased, but it's usually men that move, women that become the custodial parent, etc etc...

Good luck. ;)

[Peter Malcolm Jardine]

Do you plan on looking for a job in your area, or would you be better off making a fresh start somewhere else? Kathypoo on the hunt. tongue.gif

jessssst kiddddingggg :D

[ 01-08-2006, 12:10 AM: Message edited by: Peter Malcolm Jardine ]

[Katherine]

Originally posted by Peter Malcolm Jardine:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr /> Do you plan on looking for a job in your area, or would you be better off making a fresh start somewhere else? Kathypoo on the hunt. tongue.gif

jessssst kiddddingggg :D </font>[/QUOTE]Petie trolling for a fight? tongue.gif

[Larry P.]

Kat, I refuse to be more than a bike ride away from my son. Part of the seperation/divorce agreement is that we both have to maintain residence in Suffolk County.

[Peter Malcolm Jardine]

How old is your son Larry?

[Larry P.]

6 years old. Here's a photo of us working on his boat in the old house he's about 4 here.

He loves coffee breaks with dad
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid118/p8eeb45c11effbfa82422c9f7fe752911/f8862ed8.jpg

I know i look mad but i wasn't I had just dropped a dive weight on my foot. LOL

[ 01-08-2006, 12:17 AM: Message edited by: Larry P. ]

[Peter Malcolm Jardine]

Ahh... well.. You're both young fellers then. Life will get better. ;)

[seafox]

Larry
is their any way to fix the sitiuation? have you tried courting your X again? if it helps any I think PMJ is right about this I once discussed with a coworker my hypothsis that most relationships are started by men and ended by women. she disagreed and then came back a couple of days latter and said I was right that by a 4 to 3 margin women are the ones who chose to end it.
hang in there I hope you have joint custody.
jeff

[Katherine]

He looks a lot like my nephew. smile.gif

[Larry P.]

No way to fix it seafox. Yes I have joint custody he's with me 3 days a week.

He does like the boat I want to get he already was trying the helm. http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid199/p07f5448cf5e740d156832fd7801a4307/f0ade54a.jpg

[ 01-08-2006, 12:30 AM: Message edited by: Larry P. ]

[Tar Devil]

I prolly don't need to tell you this, Larry... but just make sure that kid knows he's first with ya.

Then... take care of yourself.

Later,

Phil

[Larry P.]

I try to let him know everyday Phil. I call him every day before school and every night before bed.

[Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson )]

OK I'm a big bad bald sailor with a tattoo but I'm getting a little misty over here. Larry you sound like a good man your ex lost out. When you and your boy are out on that beautiful ketch come spring time, aint none of this gonna matter.

Any real dad can see that. ;) Kids are what it's all about in life.
Bring a kid to an old age home, see them all light up. Kids are LIFE.

[Katherine]

Will somebody please explain to me why all the good men are taken or already screwed up? :D

[Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson )]

Originally posted by Katherine:
Will somebody please explain to me why all the good men are taken or already screwed up? :D Don't know I will have to ask Paul when he is found .... if he is found ;)

[Katherine]

Joe ARGHHHHHHHH!!!! :mad:

He's not dead, at least not yet! ;)

[ 01-08-2006, 12:49 AM: Message edited by: Katherine ]

[seafox]

hey Katherine
I'm not taken
as to the screwedup dept well we can debate that :)

[Katherine]

Seafox, I don't think there is a debate. :D

[Larry P.]

Sorry i ducked out guys, my son had a nightmare. Kat why am I screwed up. ;) and I'm certainly not taken.

Joe sorry I missed youe IM, thanks and goodnight.

[ 01-08-2006, 01:02 AM: Message edited by: Larry P. ]

[Katherine]

Larry, recently divorced guys are always screwed up. (at least that's been my experience)

[Larry P.]

"Will somebody please explain to me why all the good men are taken or already screwed up?"

Probably for the same reasons women seem to prefer dirtbags over nice guys :D

PS joe thanks but I don't think of myself as a good or bad man.
Just a normal guy trying to get by with good and bad traits.

[ 01-08-2006, 01:11 AM: Message edited by: Larry P. ]

[Katherine]

Not to show disloyalty towards my gender, but I never understood the being attracted to dirtbags thing. Now, I've dated guys that seemed nice at first but turned into dirt bags once you got to know them. Explain why men do that.

[Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson )]

Shut up, your a good man I can tell.
Just don't go out with Katherine we will miss ya around here ;)

[Larry P.]

I NEVER understood treating women or anyone for that matter badly. I know sometimes on the forum I can get snippy but in general I love people and like to do well by them.

[Paul Girouard]

Originally posted by Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson ):
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Katherine:
Will somebody please explain to me why all the good men are taken or already screwed up? :D Don't know I will have to ask Paul when he is found .... if he is found ;) </font>[/QUOTE]Humm so if Paul Pless is missing and Katie is a widowmaker .

posted 01-02-2006 04:32 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the disappearance of Paul Pless. Don't let her fool ya folks. She's a fairly dangerous woman and has been known to carry a pistol strapped to her inner thigh.

If seen, approach with extreme caution.

This is just one of her many disguises.

"The Widowmaker"

One would assume he was / is married if his dieing would make her a "widowmaker"

So a married man, meeting a single women at a undisclosed location would seem to indictate some inpropriety :(

So what would make him a "GOOD man" ???

[Katherine]

When he shows back up around here, you're all going to owe me an apology.

[Larry P.]

I dont know Joe she helps design Nissan trucks and I LOVE my 98 Frontier.

[Katherine]

Paul G, don't be stupid, that was just MMike's bad joke.

[Katherine]

Originally posted by Larry P.:
I dont know Joe she helps design Nissan trucks and I LOVE my 98 Frontier.I love my 2005. We've bonded. tongue.gif

[Larry P.]

Kat I was thinking about the 2005 but then the separation. Maybe by 2007, I know my 98 will still be running.

[Larry P.]

Any way guys thanks for the smile I needed them tonight. nite all.

edited to add

999 posts I think I'l make 1,000 for when I get the new boat. Positive thinking. :D

[ 01-08-2006, 01:23 AM: Message edited by: Larry P. ]

[Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson )]

Careful Katherine you have smited ol Paul GODrouard he got his hell and damnation eye n fer ya now. REPENT SINNER before I have ta lay ye hands upon ye sinner. CAST OUT YOUR DEMONS !!!! Do I hear an amen Can I get an AMEN.

{ Que. Lou Rawls gospel singers and 800-number } :D :D :D :D

[ 01-08-2006, 01:23 AM: Message edited by: Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson ) ]

[Katherine]

Joe, I was raised in a conservative Babtist family, however, empathy and kindness towards others, even non-Christians was something that was always stressed.

Larry, glad we could make ya smile.

[ 01-08-2006, 01:28 AM: Message edited by: Katherine ]

[Paul Girouard]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Katherine:
[ even non-Christians was something that was always stressed.

Ah more so , folks that call them self Christians but hold few or no bibical view points are false witness's , worthless , just ask Christ he left plently of warnings about false teaching and said as much. Luke 13:27. amoung others.

[ 01-08-2006, 01:41 AM: Message edited by: Paul Girouard ]

[Katherine]

Whatever happend to Love Thy Neighbor? I don't see how bing kind to someone is bear false witness.

[Dave Davis]

"The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce" by Judith Wallerstein is worth a read. Discusses long term impact (25 year study) of the impact of divorce on children.

You seem to love your kid, it's worth knowing the impact of your and your ex-spouse's decision.

[Domesticated_Mr. Know It All]

She gets the house and you get a wood boat? :eek:
Now THAT'S a good settlement!!!! :cool:
I wish I'd had your lawyer dude. :D
Something tells me you'll be just fine Larry. ;)
Hang in there. smile.gif
Peace---> Kevin in Ohio
P.S. Phil's advice is spot on. ;)

[ 01-08-2006, 08:27 AM: Message edited by: Mr. Know It All ]

[ishmael]

I lost both a good chainsaw and a boat I'd rebuilt, in my divorce. See, some are even stupider than you are. smile.gif

[Tristan]

I been there buddy, right where you are now. Here's some suggestions based on personal experience and later experience as a licensed psychologist: 1. set up and keep to a daily schedule; establish a time for regular physical activity, a walk or other exercise; keep your living quarters well lighted and comfortable; set up regular times for being with your son; don't get into pulling your son back and forth between you and your wife; keep is simple but write down some easy to achieve goals and check them off as you achieve them; don't look for another relationship now, it will happen in due time, right now you are probably way to vulnerable; finally, allow yourself a few little special treats, moments of relaxation, etc. each day. Go slow, your life will get lots better in time.

[Chris Coose]

Me and the first bride didn't push the material division too hard.
After the dust settled some, she came to me and offered me the boat and the Triumph for all the stuff in the house. Didn't bat an eye. I bought her out of the house. The conversation lasted 3 minutes.
I had just begun graduate school.
To facilitate her moving out I took a berth on a delivery by way of Bermuda. We went through the unnamed hurricane of the Perfect Storm.
I returned home to an empty house (she didn't leave any dust). It was the begining of December so I laid down for the winter, got to school and built a new life.
I am glad she had the fortitude to make the necessary changes.
She and I made a couple of beautiful children and in our youth, created a strong foundation to live good lives.

Aren't you fortunate to have a place to live nearby. There will be off days and nights but I figure any guy who has love for wood boats has all the tools necessary to make good moves under hard conditions.
Good luck on the boat. I'll be looking for developments.

[LeeG]

LarryP, hang in there, this is a time for discipline,,whatever it is do it and stick to it. This is also a good time for continuing your education on parenting issues. Whether it's through school, church or other parents.

If substance abuse plays any part in the divorce it'll continue playing a part as parents. I know that's a tedious topic but it bears on what your son experiences as normal.

Dave, Judith Wallersteins book might be worth a coffee table conversation but I wouldn't look to it for any guidance,although it did help catylize some thoughts for me as to what I had to do for "the childrens best interests". It's got some mighty flawed assumptions starting with the one that divorce is the aberattion and the unexamined intact home is the norm. From that all kinds of projected "impacts" follow. The judge finalizing my divorce required us to read it and write a response to a particular chapter concerning our child custody agreement and schedule.

[uncas]

Larry hang in.....Teaching...although I used to bitch more than I do now...after being away...for a few years...is a good field and there are places for a good teacher....
MD..is losing good ones right and left...so look forward not back.....
I guess I am glad that I have never had to go through what you have last year...I married a boat....Expensive to maintain but..... :D

[LeeG]

Katherine, all the good men are taken to the degree than all the good women are taken,,,or you aren't settling for men that are "good enough",,who knows, you might.