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WWheeler
01-27-2006, 02:17 PM
Lots of bilge postings today, but in my defense I've just given notice at my job, and I'd having a little difficulty focusing on work.

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The winner has yet to be chosen but here are some of the front runners as found on Darwin Awards (http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/index_darwin2005.html) where you can browse the nominees and vote for your favourite...

Freeway Dangler

2005 Darwin Award Nominee

Confirmed True by Darwin

(31 May 2005, Seattle, Washington) Strength and endurance are two of the most important characteristics that can be passed on to improve the species, so physical challenges between males are frequent. In this case, two drinking buddies found themselves on an overpass 40 feet above a busy freeway in downtown Seattle at 2:45 a.m. It turned out to be the perfect place to determine who had more strength and endurance. Whoever could dangle from the overpass the longest would win!

Unfortunately, the winner was too tired from his victory to climb back up, despite help from his 31-year-old friend. The unidentified champion fell smack into the front of a semi-truck barrelling down the highway at 60 mph and bounced onto the pavement, where he was hit by a car. The car did not stop. Authorities did not identify the winner of the competition.

"Plug Me In"

2005 Darwin Award WINNER

Confirmed True by Darwin

(7 March 2005, Vietnam) Nguyen, 21, had been drinking with friends in Hanoi, when he pulled out an old detonator he had found. It was about six centimetres long and eight centimetres in diameter, with two wires hanging out. Because it was old and rusty, Nguyen said, it couldn't explode. His friends disagreed.

To prove his point, Nguyen put the detonator in his mouth and asked his friend to plug the dangling wires into a 220-volt electrical receptacle.

Turns out Nyugen was wrong!

The victim had little time to reflect on his mistaken, or whether 220 volts alone could have been fatal. According to police, "the explosion blew out his cheeks and smashed all his teeth." He died on the way to the hospital.

Chimney-Cleaning Grenade

2005 Darwin Award Winner

Confirmed True by Darwin

(13 January 2005, Croatia) One fateful afternoon, 55-year-old Marko retreated to his semi-detached workshop to make himself a tool for chimney cleaning. The chimney was too high for a simple broom to work, but if he could attach a brush to a chain and then weigh it down with something, that would do the trick. But what could he use as a weight?

He happened to have the perfect object. It was heavy, yet compact. And best of all, it was made of metal, so he could weld it to the chain. He must have somehow overlooked the fact that it was also a hand grenade and was filled with explosive material.

Marko turned on his welding apparatus and began to create an arc between the chain and the grenade. As the metal heated up, the grenade exploded. The force of the explosion killed poor Marko instantly, blasting shrapnel through the walls of the shed and shattering the windshield of a Mercedes parked outside. Marko's chimney was untouched, however.

Meerkat
01-27-2006, 02:19 PM
I'm surprised Sam is not on the list! :D

Dale R. Hamilton
01-27-2006, 02:31 PM
Best one was a few years back. Seems a bubba was trying to diagnose the cause of a rumble in the drive train of his friends truck. It only happened when the truck was rolling down the road at 40 mph. So, simple solution; rig a cradle under the truck, climb aboard and have your friend drive off down the highway. This was probably working just fine- until the lad's overalls got caught in the spinning driveshaft. Yup, rolled him up like a windowshade. I can see it now.

Meerkat
01-27-2006, 02:54 PM
If the bubba had been gay, would it have been a fruit rollup? ;) :D