Ear Wax

[Memphis Mike]

I've never had ear wax before. So how do you get rid of it?

[Popeye]

olive oil

[Meerkat]

High pressure steam will clear out the probem permanently, not to mention clearing your mind! :D

[Memphis Mike]

:(

[ 12-07-2005, 01:20 PM: Message edited by: Memphis Mike ]

[Peter Malcolm Jardine]

Sandblaster. ;)

[Tar Devil]

Just what have you and Katherine been doing??? :eek: :eek:

Later,

Phil

[Memphis Mike]

Originally posted by popeye:
olive oilDo you drink it, snort it or shoot it up? :confused:

[Popeye]

warmed and drops

try candling?

[Memphis Mike]

And how come it's worse in my left ear than in my right? Is it because that ear catches all the crud when I drive with the window down?

[cs]

http://us.st11.yimg.com/store1.yimg.com/I/physlabs_1872_119931511

Works great. Oh, and never put anything but your elbow in your ear.

Chad

[Popeye]

http://us.st11.yimg.com/store1.yimg.com/I/physlabs_1872_119931511

it's not like anybody in the checkout line would be left with any questions ..

[ishmael]

Your mother, obviously, never taught you ear maintenance. I had the same problem, so I know.

If you've got a plug, that's one thing. Lot's of over the counter stuff, and en extremis a doc. I had this deafness in the past, and gradually worked it out. No doc.

As a general routine, Q tips after the shower. Be careful. You can dig fairly deep, but it's easy to damage the drum of the ear, and we don't want that. Regular swabbing will keep it from building up.

Is this as icky as jock itch, or toe jam? What! :D

[Bruce Taylor]

Maggie uses a big syringe filled with warm water to schmoof the stuff out of her patients' ears...kind of like an ear-enema, I guess. I think she has 'em soak in olive oil, first.

[Bruce Taylor]

Great thread, by the way. Best thing I've seen on the forum since Dave Carnell described his rotting penis.

[cs]

Originally posted by cs:
http://us.st11.yimg.com/store1.yimg.com/I/physlabs_1872_119931511

Works great. Oh, and never put anything but your elbow in your ear.

ChadIsh, read this and I'll repeat. "Never put anything in your ear but your elbow."

This stuff works great. Put a couple of drops in your ear and lay down and let it work for about 5 minutes. Than use the bulb thing in their with warm water and flush out your ear.

Be carefull. When that big chunck of wax comes out of your ear you will be extremlly dizzy for 15 minutes or so.

Chad

edited to add. Q-tips acomplishe nothing but the packing of the ear wax into the ear canel.

[ 12-07-2005, 01:55 PM: Message edited by: cs ]

[Peter Malcolm Jardine]

I just spit water all over my desk with that one.
:D

Find that thread Bruce.. I'm curious :D :D tongue.gif

[Peter Malcolm Jardine]

I had this deafness in the past, and gradually worked it out. Oh, you still have some specific deafness. Some things you just can't hear. :D

[Gary E]

Go listin to more of that cranked up painfull squeelin gitar so called music and it will just run out or....

an M80... and a match :D

[Popeye]

Originally posted by Bruce Taylor:
Great thread, by the way. Best thing I've seen on the forum since Dave Carnell described his rotting penis.didn't he soak it in antifreeze ..

[Bruce Taylor]

PMJ, the original thread is gone, but I see Dave brought it up again:

http://www.woodenboat-ubb.com/cgi-bin/UBB/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=011066&p=

[Rick Clark]

[ 12-11-2005, 11:03 PM: Message edited by: Rick Clark ]

[Bruce Taylor]

didn't he soak it in antifreeze You betcha.

What I like best about this thread is the little "thumb's up" icon in the title.

[Dave R]

Buddy Hackett knew how to get rid of ear wax.

This is the closest to his story I could find.

"This guy goes into a massage parlour. During which the masseuse asks if he would like a "wax job".
"No thank you" he politely says and she continues his service.
By the middle of his massage she starts grazing his genital area, and he becomes mildly aroused. "Are you sure you don't want wax job?" she says.
"Yes yes, i'm sure" he says but admittedly has piqued his interest. He is curious.
So she really starts kneading his sore muscles and he starts to get excited as she includes kneading his member. "How bout wax job, you like wax job"
By this time he's so into it, his eyes roll back and he says "yes yes, I want the wax job!"
She has him lie on his back and she brings out a long flat piece of wood with a feather on top of it.
He thinks, "ooh yah i'm gonna like this!"
So she proceeds to take out the feather, and ever so slighthy runs it up and down his genitals.
He's never felt that before, and he's wondering how wonderful this feels.
She brings him to the peak of excitment as she tickles him further. "are you ready for wax job?" she says.
"oh god, yes, give me the wax job" he exclaims as he can barely contain himself.
She then gently places the feather to rest between his legs, and proceeds to get the wooden plank.
She then raises the plank with both hands over her head and SLAMS IT onto his penis, WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
......and the wax shot out of his ears.

[Gary E]

Whut?... nobody said CPS yet??...thought that stuff wuz this boards cureall :eek:

[Bruce Taylor]

She then raises the plank with both hands over her head and SLAMS IT onto his penis, WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!Bet that cured his balanophospthitis, too.

[ 12-07-2005, 02:10 PM: Message edited by: Bruce Taylor ]

[Rick Clark]

[ 12-11-2005, 11:04 PM: Message edited by: Rick Clark ]

[Popeye]

next week , how to make a twine fender from navel lint

[ 12-07-2005, 02:27 PM: Message edited by: popeye ]

[Mrleft8]

When I was on Tobago this past October, I was invited to a "lime".... Basically a party.... Lotta good food, nice people, live music.... The music was so loud, I put some wadded up toilet paper in my ears to act as ear protectors.....Well.... One of them came out just fine. The one in my left ear broke in half. It was so far in my ear I couldn't get it. It sounded like someone was crushing brown paper bags next to my ear every time I moved, swallowed, or spoke. It was there all night. Next morning I had a meeting with the chief administrator. I asked the guest house owner if he had tweezers. "no" I asked his mother "no" I asked his Grandmother "no". I asked my friend Raymond, who was giving me a ride to the Govt. house. "no, but let me ask this woman for a hair pin"..... Took him about 10 minutes, but he managed to pull it out....
And on the "never put anything except your elbow in your ear" bit.... I use Q-tips every morning. If you know how to use them, and use them regularly, they're great. If you let gunk build up, they can cause more trouble.

[Gary E]

Originally posted by popeye:
next week , how to make a twine fender from navel lintNahh....next week it'l be something to make using the wax... maybe windo putty or... :D

[Popeye]

only sissies use Bausch and Lomb

http://www.toolloot.co.kr/mart2/upload/HANDDRILL-B.jpg

[Rick Clark]

[ 12-11-2005, 11:04 PM: Message edited by: Rick Clark ]

[Peter Malcolm Jardine]

and here is the Dave Carnell quoteon the use of antifreeze:


am the discoverer of this pharmaceutical wonder, and have had a good many testimonials from satisfied users. I completely eliminated athlete's foot and toenail fungus over 15 years ago. I cured my balanophosphitis (diaper rash under the foresking) to the amazement of my urologist. During the three years my beloced Eleanor was bedridden, we kept her skin free of breaks or bedsores with it. I have had reports of cures from people for whom Lamosil® had failed. To me, it makes more sense to put something on your toes than to treat by taking something internally.

[Rick Clark]

[ 12-11-2005, 11:05 PM: Message edited by: Rick Clark ]

[skuthorp]

Popeye, I like it but I was thinking along the lines of that big wood hammer in another thread! :D

[Memphis Mike]

Now this Phil.....is how it's done. take note. :D

Ya just have to find a common ground.

[P.I. Stazzer-Newt]

http://www.artreachheals.org/images/2003show/mflosshead.jpg

[John of Phoenix]

I thought about the wax job joke as soon as I saw the thread.

A couple of drops of olive oil at night and a bulb syringe rinse with warm water in the morning and you'll be a new man.

[TomF]

Originally posted by John Teetsel:
A couple of drops of olive oil at night and a bulb syringe rinse with warm water in the morning and you'll be a new man.I don't want to be a new man... but God save me from the wax job.

[Rick Tyler]

Originally posted by Peter Malcolm Jardine:
Oh, you still have some specific deafness. Some things you just can't hear. :D There are two similar conditions. The first affects children (of any age) with their parents. It is called the Tragedy of SHDS -- Selective Hearing Deficit Syndrome. It renders the child unable to hear his parents. The second is called Male Pattern Listening. I do not believe this requires any explanation.

[Zimmer]

I aint gonna ask how you get diaper rash under the forskin

[Tar Devil]

Originally posted by Memphis Mike:
Now this Phil.....is how it's done. take note. :D

Ya just have to find a common ground.DIVE, DIVE, DIVE!

[LisaS]

My doc had me put drops in my ear for four days then swooshed out the ear wax with a big squirt of warm water. It was great!

[ssor]

Just a few drops of bacon fat in the ear and lay down on the floor with the cat. :rolleyes:

[Memphis Mike]

Now, what about Dingleberries?

[Del Lansing]

Now, what about Dingleberries? Sorta similar solution with the bacon fat and cat....

[Hughman]

Now I Really gotta clean the keyboard.

Rare form, Guys!

[L.W. Baxter]

Get down nekkid in the huckleberry bushes and wait for a bear to come by.

[Rick Clark]

[ 12-11-2005, 11:06 PM: Message edited by: Rick Clark ]

[Meerkat]

Originally posted by Rick Tyler:
The second is called Male Pattern Listening. I do not believe this requires any explanation.Frequently accompnied by the heartbreak of Male Pattern Bull****e or MPB... ;)

The heartbreak is that it has not shown to be effective against PMS, but then, what is! :D :D :D

[bukuboy]

Why not try taking a shower once a day and making sure you wash your ears.

[ssor]

Originally posted by bukuboy:
Why not try taking a shower once a day and making sure you wash your ears.Are you nuts? ;) Water will rot yer boots fer-crying-out-loud! :D And yer suggesting the we should purposely stand in it everyday jest to get the wax outta our ears? :rolleyes:

[Popeye]

http://images.ibsys.com/2002/0426/1419470_200X150.jpg earwax candling (http://www.local6.com/news/1420368/detail.html)

[Memphis Mike]

Popeye, I'm afraid I'd catch my hair on fire. :eek: