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Norman Bernstein
01-31-2018, 08:21 AM
https://scontent.fbos1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/27073138_10156338662144739_1058085372219860526_n.j pg?oh=cf1f5b91a2eb7194aff435f907b2dfe1&oe=5ADA6F10

bob winter
01-31-2018, 08:46 AM
Very subtle.

AlanMc
01-31-2018, 08:52 AM
i'm not getting it.

ishmael
01-31-2018, 08:53 AM
How do we know Jesus was a Jew?

He lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father's business, and his mother thought he was God. ;)

oldcodger
01-31-2018, 08:55 AM
i'm not getting it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohel

bob winter
01-31-2018, 08:55 AM
i'm not getting it.

Google is your friend.

Norman Bernstein
01-31-2018, 09:00 AM
i'm not getting it.

Not too many Jews in Huntsville AL, I guess.

Anthony Zucker
01-31-2018, 09:36 AM
Not too many Jews in Huntsville AL, I guess.

Norm; Huntsville is an interesting town. It's where the US hid the Nazi rocket people(Van Braun & Co.) after WWII.

Breakaway
01-31-2018, 10:02 AM
I understand Australian mohels hold an annual convention in a eucalyptus grove.

Kevin

CWSmith
01-31-2018, 11:25 AM
To be fair, I knew how to pronounce Mohel but I'd never seen it spelled. I had to look it up as well.

Too Little Time
01-31-2018, 11:36 AM
It does appear to be a little humor.

ron ll
01-31-2018, 11:46 AM
Jeez. Nobody watched Seinfeld?

Andrew Craig-Bennett
01-31-2018, 11:49 AM
I don't understand.

When I first opened Norman's post there was a picture of a car number plate which I think could be read as "M0HEL" but it isn't there now.

Ah. It's back. I get it.

Garret
01-31-2018, 11:51 AM
I see it.

Thought the joke was funny too... :)

Dave Hadfield
01-31-2018, 12:26 PM
Briss-tol Fashion.

Vince Brennan
01-31-2018, 12:53 PM
Oy!

Flying Orca
01-31-2018, 01:02 PM
Which reminds me of the old mohel who'd carefully saved the, um, "fruits of his labour" for forty years, and finally decided to take them to a leather-worker to have a truly unique item made as a memento of his life's work...

CWSmith
01-31-2018, 01:21 PM
Which reminds me of the old mohel who'd carefully saved the, um, "fruits of his labour" for forty years, and finally decided to take them to a leather-worker to have a truly unique item made as a memento of his life's work...

:) I dare you to finish that joke!

Peerie Maa
01-31-2018, 01:24 PM
:) I dare you to finish that joke!

What he said,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDVCWKx0hIM

Flying Orca
01-31-2018, 02:10 PM
:) I dare you to finish that joke!

Well, I figured everybody knew it, but anyway... our mohel goes to his friend the leather-worker, and he says, "Zev, I've been a mohel forty years, and I've saved every single foreskin I snipped. One thousand, three hundred and eighteen of them, to be precise. And I want to celebrate my career by having you make me a unique piece of leather-work from the snippets."

Zev says, "OK, Moshe, I can do that. What do you want? A vest? A bag, maybe?"

"Surprise me," says Moshe.

So a couple of weeks later, Zev calls his friend over and announces that the work is done. He sits Moshe down and proudly presents him with the result, but is crestfallen when the mohel is underwhelmed with the piece.

"Oy, Zev - what is this! I gave you over thirteen hundred foreskins, and you give me a wallet?!"

And Zev hastily responds, "Now, Moshe, don't plotz - if you rub it, it turns into a valise!"

CWSmith
01-31-2018, 02:15 PM
:) I didn't think you had the nerve! It's been a favorite joke of mine for decades.

Flying Orca
01-31-2018, 02:19 PM
Hope I didn't ruin it.

jonboy
01-31-2018, 02:39 PM
Might have posted this before , but anyway.....

A New York Rabbi gets invited to London for a convention......He's a three thousand miles from home , staying in a nice anonymous hotel, a bit off the convention circuit
Goes down for dinner and the menu has suckling pig. He pauses, looks around and thinks well if you don't know you can't judge... and anyway who'll ever know so orders.....
just as the plate arrives at his table he sees a couple of friends from New York....
Hey! Manny how are y'..... 'whats that !'

Ah! , London ...! you order an apple and look how it comes

CWSmith
01-31-2018, 02:46 PM
Hope I didn't ruin it.

Nope. It was perfect. :)

Flying Orca
01-31-2018, 02:53 PM
Nope. It was perfect. :)

Glad to hear it!

Chip-skiff
01-31-2018, 03:02 PM
This young guy, Josh Bernstein, whose job wasn't so great was hoping to make a little extra.

So his uncle Norman said: "You should do what I do, and become a mohel. It's part-time, not hard work. You can pick your hours, pretty much."

"Seriously?"

"Would I lie to you? Besides, it pays really well and you get to keep the tips."

Flying Orca
01-31-2018, 03:17 PM
This young guy, Josh Bernstein, whose job wasn't so great was hoping to make a little extra.

So his uncle Norman said: "You should do what I do, and become a mohel. It's part-time, not hard work. You can pick your hours, pretty much."

"Seriously?"

"Would I lie to you? Besides, it pays really well and you get to keep the tips."

That would make a good setup for the one I know.

David W Pratt
01-31-2018, 03:19 PM
Today, the fruits of their labors go to tissue culture for reconstructive surgery

Norman Bernstein
01-31-2018, 03:22 PM
Anyone can laugh at a mohel joke....

..it's a bit harder to watch one practicing his profession. Trust me, I've witnessed a few :):)

Andrew Craig-Bennett
01-31-2018, 03:45 PM
Up until a few years ago, circumcision was customary amongst the English upper and upper middle classes, which led to the mildly amusing circumstance that there actually was a mohel By Appointment to Buckingham Palace. The decision by Prince William not to have Prince George snipped actually made the news.

The Filipinos are ninety per cent Catholic but they were Muslim for just long enough to pick up on circumcision which in their case is done as a rite of passage around puberty.

Chip-skiff
01-31-2018, 03:49 PM
I didn't have a choice.

Flying Orca
01-31-2018, 03:52 PM
One is tempted to idly speculate as to whether Prince George might eventually get a Prince Albert, but I don't really want to know.

Norman Bernstein
01-31-2018, 03:53 PM
The Filipinos are ninety per cent Catholic but they were Muslim for just long enough to pick up on circumcision which in their case is done as a rite of passage around puberty.

uhhhh, its hard enough to watch an 8 day old baby get snipped.... but some kid at puberty? I don't even want to THINK about that!

Flying Orca
01-31-2018, 03:53 PM
I didn't have a choice.

Yeah, me neither. Oddly enough, there are a lot more people prepared to support the involuntary genital mutilation of boys than of girls.

Breakaway
01-31-2018, 03:55 PM
What's the technical name for a Jew more than eight days old who has not been circumcised?

>>>


>>>>>>


>>>>>>>>>>




>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>





>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>




A girl! :p


Kevin

Flying Orca
01-31-2018, 03:56 PM
Ooooh, that's pretty good.

jonboy
01-31-2018, 04:15 PM
Up until a few years ago, circumcision was customary amongst the English upper and upper middle classes, which led to the mildly amusing circumstance that there actually was a mohel By Appointment to Buckingham Palace. The decision by Prince William not to have Prince George snipped actually made the news.

ACB I don't often doubt your opinions or remarks, indeed have requoted them on a number of occasions , but I seriously disagree with your first sentence if only that the'English upper and upper middle classes' were amongst the most virulent anti-semites in the early 20th C and circumcision was seen as the most evidential example of 'Jewishness'

I don't doubt your remark about prince W and Prince G, I know you will not profer information such as this lightly, but what was the source? just want to know

Joe (SoCal)
01-31-2018, 04:56 PM
I REALLY want to tell the Goldbergs nail joke

johnw
01-31-2018, 05:12 PM
How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, none, I'll just sit here in the dark.

Gerarddm
01-31-2018, 05:14 PM
That's pretty funny.

*moyle

CWSmith
01-31-2018, 05:17 PM
uhhhh, its hard enough to watch an 8 day old baby get snipped.... but some kid at puberty? I don't even want to THINK about that!

ditto!

Andrew Craig-Bennett
01-31-2018, 06:21 PM
ACB I don't often doubt your opinions or remarks, indeed have requoted them on a number of occasions , but I seriously disagree with your first sentence if only that the'English upper and upper middle classes' were amongst the most virulent anti-semites in the early 20th C and circumcision was seen as the most evidential example of 'Jewishness'

I don't doubt your remark about prince W and Prince G, I know you will not profer information such as this lightly, but what was the source? just want to know

As to the first, my parents, who were persuaded by a (Jewish) doctor friend that it really wasn’t necessary but who worried about it for several years afterwards, and as to Prince George, try this...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/10201882/Circumcision-is-one-of-the-oddities-of-the-Royal-Family.html

Anti-Semitism is not unknown in the English upper and upper middle classes (there are those who call a Jaguar a “Jew’s canoe”) but neither is it very prevalent; for one thing, quite a number of the English upper and upper middle classes are Jewish (as to the Sephardic/Ashkenazi thing, let’s not go there...).

Dave Hadfield
01-31-2018, 07:53 PM
Well, I was part of that surgical category, and I've never had a health problem down there of any kind. Never a rash or an infection.

Although there has been some frequent swelling...

Flying Orca
02-01-2018, 12:13 AM
Although there has been some frequent swelling...

Don't worry, I've heard that lessens as you get older... :p

Norman Bernstein
02-01-2018, 08:14 AM
Anti-Semitism is not unknown in the English upper and upper middle classes (there are those who call a Jaguar a “Jew’s canoe”) but neither is it very prevalent; for one thing, quite a number of the English upper and upper middle classes are Jewish (as to the Sephardic/Ashkenazi thing, let’s not go there...).

Actually, from my 'read' of history, the Brits have been sympathetic to Jews for centuries... there's a fairly strong Jewish community in England, and the history of the British mandate in Palestine from the overturning of the Ottoman empire, until partition in 1948, demonstrates that the Brits laid a heavy thumb on the scale, in favor of Jewish immigration to Palestine. Read 'One Palestine, Complete', by Tom Segev, for the background.

Dave Hadfield
02-01-2018, 09:44 AM
King Edward expelled all the Jews of course. And they remained banned until Cromwell's time.

CWSmith
02-01-2018, 11:40 AM
Although there has been some frequent swelling...


Don't worry, I've heard that lessens as you get older... :p

Well, that took the smile off my face. :(

Flying Orca
02-01-2018, 11:59 AM
Sorry... meant it to be light-hearted, hence the smiley, but these things don't always translate well online. :(

CWSmith
02-01-2018, 12:11 PM
Sorry... meant it to be light-hearted, hence the smiley, but these things don't always translate well online. :(

The truth hurts. :)

Peerie Maa
02-01-2018, 12:56 PM
King Edward expelled all the Jews of course. And they remained banned until Cromwell's time.

The Jewish communities long absence from our shores may help explain why there is no institutionalised anti-Semitism, just the individual bigotry that unfortunately still survives.