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Bob Adams
06-17-2017, 07:17 PM
My Dad has been across the bar 16 years now. For my Dad, your Dad and all dads.........


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtxmgBYlrTs

amish rob
06-17-2017, 07:22 PM
I do not celebrate mine. He was a miserable, rotten human, with a weak will and black soul.

My father in law is amazing, though.

Peace and love to fathers everywhere on this made up holiday.:)

Peace,
Robert

Bob Adams
06-17-2017, 07:31 PM
I do not celebrate mine. He was a miserable, rotten human, with a weak will and black soul.

My father in law is amazing, though.

Peace and love to fathers everywhere on this made up holiday.:)

Peace,
Robert

Sorry to hear that....he wasn't a Dad.

CWSmith
06-17-2017, 07:39 PM
I do not celebrate mine. He was a miserable, rotten human, with a weak will and black soul.

My father in law is amazing, though.

Peace and love to fathers everywhere on this made up holiday.:)

Peace,
Robert

While we can't pick our fathers, we can pick new ones. It sounds like your father-in-law fits the bill. Celebrate him and congratulations.

TomF
06-17-2017, 09:13 PM
Thank you for this, Bob; my Dad's been gone near 11 years now. Except he hasn't. I miss him every day, or would if I could get his words out of my head long enough. :D

Rob, I'll pray for your guy too, wherever he finds himself now - and for others who were fathers in name only. Let there be no doubt; it he's passed, he's aware how his choices affected you and the rest of his world, and wishes he'd made different ones.

lupussonic
06-17-2017, 09:34 PM
http://i.imgur.com/dQVgAS3.jpg

Breakaway
06-17-2017, 10:03 PM
Nice post, Bob. Cheers to all the dads.

Kevin

amish rob
06-17-2017, 10:11 PM
http://i.imgur.com/dQVgAS3.jpg
I still think that is the most touching thing I've ever seen.

Peace,
Robert

amish rob
06-17-2017, 10:24 PM
Thank you for this, Bob; my Dad's been gone near 11 years now. Except he hasn't. I miss him every day, or would if I could get his words out of my head long enough. :D

Rob, I'll pray for your guy too, wherever he finds himself now - and for others who were fathers in name only. Let there be no doubt; it he's passed, he's aware how his choices affected you and the rest of his world, and wishes he'd made different ones.

I like to think my dad was training for my progressively worsening step dads to follow. :) Which would be really funny if it was funny. Ahem.

The best day of my life, actually was when I took Oldest Son to see the old git, right near the end. He went from brown, to clear, to wine, and when I last saw him, he couldn't go half hour without a few hearty gulps. Mind, it had been more than 12 years since I last saw him.

Anyway, at least the old bass poop left this mudball knowing there would be one more (my half brother never made kids of his own, that I know of. We are estranged, too) of us. I also assured him I would be man enough to endure the task.


Did I mention my wife also came with a grandpa and two grandmas, though? One grandma is gone, now, but the couple abides. We are neighbors. Having a grandpa has been wonderful. :)
No, I never had grands, either. In fact, I had no blood extended family in my life from about 8 years on. Just moms.

Peace,
Robert

PeterSibley
06-17-2017, 10:34 PM
Dad died 40 years ago, I still miss him and wish I'd known him better. He was a good Father but not a good Husband, a pity. He was compelled to gamble, probably his greatest failing but he had many, many good attributes.

Hi Dad .

Glen Longino
06-17-2017, 10:57 PM
I was lucky enough to have a very good father. Daddy, I called him.
Little wonder you're so damn tough, Robert, ya danged feral human!:)
Seriously, I'm so glad you have sculpted a good life for yourself in the face of adversity. I had everything handed to me as a kid with nurturing parents.
I admire you, my friend, and Bob Adams too.

McMike
06-18-2017, 06:31 AM
I like to think my dad was training for my progressively worsening step dads to follow. :) Which would be really funny if it was funny. Ahem.

The best day of my life, actually was when I took Oldest Son to see the old git, right near the end. He went from brown, to clear, to wine, and when I last saw him, he couldn't go half hour without a few hearty gulps. Mind, it had been more than 12 years since I last saw him.

Anyway, at least the old bass poop left this mudball knowing there would be one more (my half brother never made kids of his own, that I know of. We are estranged, too) of us. I also assured him I would be man enough to endure the task.


Did I mention my wife also came with a grandpa and two grandmas, though? One grandma is gone, now, but the couple abides. We are neighbors. Having a grandpa has been wonderful. :)
No, I never had grands, either. In fact, I had no blood extended family in my life from about 8 years on. Just moms.

Peace,
Robert

It sounds like you and I have a lot in common. My father was never a dad and my step-father was a monster. Neither deserves more than a #$!#%$ !@# !@#!#.

Cheers to being our own fathers, I for one was a lousy teacher but I did the best I could. :d

To the rest of you who had good dads; you're so very lucky. My life has been hobbled by the lack of one, I can hardly imagine what it would have been like to have a good one.

With that, my task for all you men; go find a young person who needs you and be there. I've got a 20 year old friend that I work with who has been without a father for a very long time. He's joining me in going to the WBS in a few weeks, he's going to school to be an engineer and he's never seen the likes of what he'll see at the show. I think it'll be a good day.

mmd
06-18-2017, 07:11 AM
I am sorry to hear that some of you didn't get a deal at the Good Dad store. One shouldn't have to put up with that, but one doesn't have much choice in the matter. Mine is a good 'un, and has had the patience of Job to put up with an ... ahem... challenging son. We are leaving in about a half an hour to drive two hours to visit him and take him out for lunch. He turns ninety in a couple of months.

amish rob
06-18-2017, 07:17 AM
I was lucky enough to have a very good father. Daddy, I called him.
Little wonder you're so damn tough, Robert, ya danged feral human!:)
Seriously, I'm so glad you have sculpted a good life for yourself in the face of adversity. I had everything handed to me as a kid with nurturing parents.
I admire you, my friend, and Bob Adams too.


It sounds like you and I have a lot in common. My father was never a dad and my step-father was a monster. Neither deserves more than a #$!#%$ !@# !@#!#.

Cheers to being our own fathers, I for one was a lousy teacher but I did the best I could. :d

To the rest of you who had good dads; you're so very lucky. My life has been hobbled by the lack of one, I can hardly imagine what it would have been like to have a good one.

With that, my task for all you men; go find a young person who needs you and be there. I've got a 20 year old friend that I work with who has been without a father for a very long time. He's joining me in going to the WBS in a few weeks, he's going to school to be an engineer and he's never seen the likes of what he'll see at the show. I think it'll be a good day.

The most wonderful part of being a human, especially a child, is I never knew my life was any different than anyon else's. I didn't know things were "wrong" until a cop a bruise in a weird spot...

The other thing is, as I've aged, and (ha) matured, I've realized how not terrible my childhood was. Relative to children with actual nightmare lives. I met and chatted with a former Lost Boy, for example. Yeah, see I never got hooked on dope and then forced to shoot up my uncle's village...

My childhood certainly tempered me. The thing is, though, it never made me a hard person. Don't mistake hard for tough.

It is ALWAYS harder to be peaceful and loving. It would be so easy for me to be a greasy jerk to every one and act like a colossal butt hat wherever I went. "Oh, I'm amgry because of my childhood". Puh-leeze. ;)

We, every one of us, must deal with adversity in our lives. The way we deal with it determines our character. I simply learned at an earlier age than most how to suffer with a smile. To me, a person who deals with harsh life by celebrating being alive is tough.

And, all that said, I'm probably a pretty terrible father. Oh, dont get me wrong, I love my kids, and I do try, but sometimes trying ain't enough. You also need to know WHAT to try. :)

To fathers! Having them, or being them.

Peace,
Robert

Rich Jones
06-18-2017, 07:21 AM
My Dad has been gone for 14 years. As the years pass, I appreciate him more and more. To me, he was the perfect father (except when he wouldn't let me have the car on Friday nights:D). His faults were few and easily forgiven.

lupussonic
06-18-2017, 09:01 AM
His eulogy that I delivered...


A gentleman, a gentle man.

A tweased St Bruno aficionado,
A Telegraph crossword desperado,
The accountant leans across his desk, and over his half-moon spectacles, quietly inquires.."is your insurance....insured?".


For Dad to have attained the professional heights that he achieved, he employed his innate qualities of meticulousness, stamina, level-headedness, accuracy, perseverance, and method. And these qualities pervaded his home life, husbandry, community spirit, and fatherhood. As it was at work, so it was at home and in his wider life. Any client employing a chartered accountant seeks stability, intelligence, but not wildness or any lifestyle too exciting.


In the late 50's when Dad went out to Capetown, he seemed to lead 2 lives; one being a steadfast and reliable member of the team of auditors, and the other a young man so determined to see and photograph Vic falls, that he hitch-hiked across the Vaal on pick up trucks, and jumped into empty freight cars on the railways to get there. He also produced a stunning photographic collection of slides of that country, which Sharon, Ric and I remember being shown as a child. He was always out with his camera it seemed, except when riding thoroughbred racing ostriches at Capetown horse track.


Dad always said yes. To an autumn leaf drag ride, a game in the park, a ride in the car into the mountains, a bed time story.


I jokingly tell people that I helped him build a sailing dingy when I was 9. The truth is, I sat watching him slowly transform a pile of wood and sundries into a boat, while I passed him the araldite and found his pipe for him. To then launch, and sail it was a form of magic to me, proof that my father's methodological approach belied a form of mysterious alchemy. He gave me the confidence toward my own nautical construction efforts, breaking down large tricky problems into smaller, more manageable ones, just the same way he helped me with mathematical problems. Method.


But you don't hear your father's whisper in your blood at 18.
When I casually told him I wanted to go to art school, and pursue a career as an oil painter, to my surprise, fully expecting to be persuaded otherwise, he agreed, and indeed supported me in this. Quite a leap of the imagination for us both.


We made one other item together when I was a kid; a balsa wood and yellow tissue paper unmotorised glider, with a wingspan of about 5 feet. A very delicate craft, we spent months making it, but only flew it twice. After the damage was repaired from the first sortie, we got our heads together, and decided to set it off from Mount Sounion , over the Aegean Sea at sunset. It flew fast, and high, we watched it and watched it, never dipping or veering away, but heading straight on, steadily, resolutely. Finally, when we could see it no more, even with binoculars we went home.


Dad never dictated to me how to be me, instead, he taught me how to be like him, understand his manners and qualities, but make my own choices.


A gentle man, a gentleman.


Truly he gave me his wings.


.….......................


The curfew tolls the knell of parting day,

The lowing herd wind slowly o'er the lea,

The plowman homeward plods his weary way,

And leaves the world to darkness, and to me.



Large was his bounty, and his soul sincere,

Heav'n did a recompense as largely send:
He gave to Mis'ry all he had, a tear,

He gain'd from Heav'n ('twas all he wish'd) a friend.

amish rob
06-18-2017, 09:05 AM
His eulogy that I delivered...


A gentleman, a gentle man.

A tweased St Bruno aficionado,
A Telegraph crossword desperado,
The accountant leans across his desk, and over his half-moon spectacles, quietly inquires.."is your insurance....insured?".


For Dad to have attained the professional heights that he achieved, he employed his innate qualities of meticulousness, stamina, level-headedness, accuracy, perseverance, and method. And these qualities pervaded his home life, husbandry, community spirit, and fatherhood. As it was at work, so it was at home and in his wider life. Any client employing a chartered accountant seeks stability, intelligence, but not wildness or any lifestyle too exciting.


In the late 50's when Dad went out to Capetown, he seemed to lead 2 lives; one being a steadfast and reliable member of the team of auditors, and the other a young man so determined to see and photograph Vic falls, that he hitch-hiked across the Vaal on pick up trucks, and jumped into empty freight cars on the railways to get there. He also produced a stunning photographic collection of slides of that country, which Sharon, Ric and I remember being shown as a child. He was always out with his camera it seemed, except when riding thoroughbred racing ostriches at Capetown horse track.


Dad always said yes. To an autumn leaf drag ride, a game in the park, a ride in the car into the mountains, a bed time story.


I jokingly tell people that I helped him build a sailing dingy when I was 9. The truth is, I sat watching him slowly transform a pile of wood and sundries into a boat, while I passed him the araldite and found his pipe for him. To then launch, and sail it was a form of magic to me, proof that my father's methodological approach belied a form of mysterious alchemy. He gave me the confidence toward my own nautical construction efforts, breaking down large tricky problems into smaller, more manageable ones, just the same way he helped me with mathematical problems. Method.


But you don't hear your father's whisper in your blood at 18.
When I casually told him I wanted to go to art school, and pursue a career as an oil painter, to my surprise, fully expecting to be persuaded otherwise, he agreed, and indeed supported me in this. Quite a leap of the imagination for us both.


We made one other item together when I was a kid; a balsa wood and yellow tissue paper unmotorised glider, with a wingspan of about 5 feet. A very delicate craft, we spent months making it, but only flew it twice. After the damage was repaired from the first sortie, we got our heads together, and decided to set it off from Mount Sounion , over the Aegean Sea at sunset. It flew fast, and high, we watched it and watched it, never dipping or veering away, but heading straight on, steadily, resolutely. Finally, when we could see it no more, even with binoculars we went home.


Dad never dictated to me how to be me, instead, he taught me how to be like him, understand his manners and qualities, but make my own choices.


A gentle man, a gentleman.


Truly he gave me his wings.


.….......................


The curfew tolls the knell of parting day,

The lowing herd wind slowly o'er the lea,

The plowman homeward plods his weary way,

And leaves the world to darkness, and to me.



Large was his bounty, and his soul sincere,

Heav'n did a recompense as largely send:
He gave to Mis'ry all he had, a tear,

He gain'd from Heav'n ('twas all he wish'd) a friend.




I am crying like a baby. Beautiful.

Peace,
Robert

lupussonic
06-18-2017, 09:09 AM
Me too

wizbang 13
06-18-2017, 09:13 AM
My Dad was a saint.
But we are mostly old men here .WE are the fathers now.
This guy calls me Pop
https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4001/4647870904_e276062028_z_d.jpg

ooo,my honey just put this on the facebook,same guy.
https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/19149138_10209506086395736_1901461772193837636_n.j pg?oh=1892310c28a63b804888488b01e194d6&oe=599C32E5

CWSmith
06-18-2017, 09:23 AM
I won't call my father a saint, but he is a good man. He sacrificed for all of us and he continues to take care of mom now. I see him clearly, aspire to have his better qualities, and try to rid myself of traits I'd rather be without. But isn't that the way of most good people? I can't see him today, but I will call.

Gerarddm
06-18-2017, 09:32 AM
My life sublimated from solid to gas when my daughter was born. That was 27 years ago. My father lived long enough to see her in her teens, they had a wonderful relationship.

I inherited his tools, which I use every time I enter my shop, and his photo is over my workbench. He died on a full moon, and every time I see one in a clear night sky I say hello.

Joe (SoCal)
06-18-2017, 09:34 AM
https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/1622465_10204506974807840_3684333802098242371_o.jp g?oh=04de4669a4c47418ec3342036cdea8c7&oe=59DC1969

My dad's a saint, no no literally he is vying for a beautification, he has been a 7 day a week church going Roman Catholic his entire life. When I try to call him today I have to time it between his morning prayers, going to church, at church, or coming home from church, and evening prayers.

He also was the hardest worker I have ever known, he prided himself on his worth ethic. He would wake up at 4:00 every morning and be on the road at 5:00 am home at 6:00 pm EVERYDAY 7 DAYS A WEEK FOR 50 YEARS. Never missed a day. They used to call him The Machine because he would take young bucks out to train them and in a few weeks they would burn out and Joe "The Machine" Foster would soldier on.

When I was in my 20's we hit a Dad & Son wall as is common, I was a dreamer & a thinking I had high aspirations and felt entitled - deadly combination. We worked through it and now he's just a sweet 80 year old dad that I share whats going on in our weekly chats.

Now I'm a dad to a dreamer ,thinking, high aspirations and entitled feeling 19 year old, amazing how things go around ;)

S.V. Airlie
06-18-2017, 09:41 AM
Joe, which one is he?

amish rob
06-18-2017, 09:42 AM
Joe, which one is he?
The bald guy with the great smile. :)

Peace,
Robert

S.V. Airlie
06-18-2017, 09:46 AM
My parents were only children but, both managed to raise 4 kids pretty well considering they had no siblings. Dad, 1913-2003, was always called "Skipper" and I don't recall having a boat, large or small in my entire life. An educator, a museum director and an all around good guy.

David G
06-18-2017, 10:04 AM
I raise a glass to dads everywhere. Some in hopes that they learned some lessons in this cycle and don't come back as dung beetles or cockroaches for the next round. And some in celebration of the lessons they taught us. And some in gratitude for the joy they brought to our lives.

My dad was a good one, but died 46 years ago due to a congenital heart defect that would be no big deal today. <sigh> He was a sweetheart, a hell-raiser, a successful businessman, and a serious outdoorsman. He built our cabin on Puget Sound, with the assistance of my mom, before I was born... felling trees, leveling a building site, and winching a surplus railroad caboose 50 yards down a steep slope to serve as the core of the structure. We used the heck out of that place. He taught me to fish and hunt. He watched me effup and learn things as a kid, with very little yelling or frustration... just some kind advice.

One of the biggest regrets in my life is that he passed when I was away at college. Boom! No dad. And I was just reaching the stage of maturity where I was beginning to circle back and deal with my parents as more of an adult and less of a kid. It saddens me that I never got the chance to develop that sort of relationship with him. But I cherish the time we had, and have tried to use him as a model in raising my own boys. I think he was better at it than I.

Jim Mahan
06-18-2017, 10:30 AM
Never mind, happy Father's Day, one and all.

Thanks for the thread, all you father appreciators.Y>

L.W. Baxter
06-18-2017, 10:45 AM
The profound quality of thought and expression around here still catches me off guard at times. Especially when we stray from politics to the personal. Lovely, philosophical stuff, geez.

bob winter
06-18-2017, 10:53 AM
My father was s total failure as a dad. i don't think it was entirely his fault, he had serious mental health issues partly arising from WW2. Being married to my mother didn't help matters much either.

I have always tried to be a good father to my son and I seem to have done a reasonable job.

Keith Wilson
06-18-2017, 11:01 AM
My father was born in 1925, in a hardscrabble little town outside Scranton PA. His father was a sometime coal miner and welder, out of work a lot during the depression; they got by OK, but barely. He joined the navy in right out of high school and was on a carrier in the Pacific getting ready for the invasion of Japan when he heard the news about the atomic bombs; he said he had never been so relieved about anything in his life. If not for Hiroshima, I might not be here now. After the war he went to college on the GI bill, the first one on either side of the family. That was our one major source of conflict; his way out of the working class was academic, and I was supposed to go get a PhD at least.

He met my mother in college; they got married in 1950 and were together, and still very much in love until he died in 1992. When I was cleaning out their house before selling it, in a decomposing suitcase in the basement I found a pack of letters he wrote her in late '49 - early '50. I read one, part of another, then folded them up; adorable but too private, even now.

He worked for the Methodist church as a sociologist, and later taught sociology in Duke Divinity School. I've got a small shelf of his books, although most are too specialized and too much about events of their time to be that interesting now. He had more intellectual integrity that anyone I've ever known; we didn't always agree, but he could always put aside his biases and follow evidence and reasoning wherever it led, a particular virtue in the social sciences.

I was very lucky in my parents; he was a good man and a good father, and I've tried to do as well.

StevenBauer
06-18-2017, 11:03 AM
My dad's been gone for about a year and a half but I guess I was one of the lucky ones. He was great at being a dad, he is truly missed.

Phillip Allen
06-18-2017, 11:04 AM
he's been gone for 42 years now... there's lots of things I wish I could have asked him

paulf
06-18-2017, 11:20 AM
My Father taught me a lot...he taught me exactly what not to do as a father.

I'm with Rob on this one. Went in the Marines at 17 and never looked back.

Sky Blue
06-18-2017, 11:31 AM
My father died a couple of years ago. He was an extremely principled, thoughtful man. We were closely bonded but not emotionally close (if that makes any sense).

With the perspective of age now, past-midlife, I find that I am very much like him. As a younger man, our differences presented a great challenge to us.

His approval was very important to me. I'm still sorting out the pros and cons for what that ultimately has meant for my life.

His loss initially did not burden me, but in the last few months the weight of it has settled in on me. I do my best to follow his example, in the ways that I need to.

Happy Fathers Day, Dad.

ron ll
06-18-2017, 12:00 PM
Wow. I was one of the lucky ones. I worshipped my dad for the short time I knew him. He died in a hunting accident when I was 16. Five years later, mom married another great guy. Although I no longer lived at home, I thought the world of him too. My dad still shows up in my dreams occasionally. I remember him looking like Gregory Peck. Then someone pointed out that a lot of guys think their dad looked like Gregory Peck.

wizbang 13
06-18-2017, 12:47 PM
Oh my Dad looked like Richard Widmark
https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/45481_1354986441608_6987467_n.jpg?oh=803c8fe6d00f4 4d6e8c6c2abc0356dc4&oe=59CC06CA

FishoutaFlorida
06-18-2017, 12:50 PM
Wow. I was one of the lucky ones.

What he said!

Dad came to this country to live in the land of the free after surviving WWII as Danish Infantry. Met my Mom in Redmond, went back to Denmark, and got married. When Mom got pregnant, he sent her back to the US to ensure me being born to my American Mom on American soil and followed her via Canada. He was there when I was born and stayed there for the rest of my life. Biggest day was when he became a naturalized American.

He is the King of Rube Goldberg Repairs, but they always worked. He showed me that I could do just as well without new, expensive, solutions. Thanks Dad!

Last night my sister texted, high temps and unresponsive, sent to the hospital. This morning the word is a UTI, now full of antibiotics and very uncomfortable. Another battle for the strongest guy in the world. Lets go Dad!

Thanks Bob for the opportunity to share! Timely item!

Jim Bow
06-18-2017, 01:32 PM
Frankly, I think more about certain friend's parents on these greeting card days.
Both of mine were rather aloof. Mother was devoted to the church, father was devoted to his metallurgy lab and research.
As a father, I was lucky to marry the woman I did. As the daughter of two alcoholics, she knew exactly what not to do as a parent, and devoted her days to being the parent she wished she had. I just followed her footsteps.
Two great kids, who married great kids, and supplied us with wonderful grand kids.
What a long strange trip it's been.

Phillip Allen
06-18-2017, 01:35 PM
Frankly, I think more about certain friend's parents on these greeting card days.
Both of mine were rather aloof. Mother was devoted to the church, father was devoted to his metallurgy lab and research.
As a father, I was lucky to marry the woman I did. As the daughter of two alcoholics, she knew exactly what not to do as a parent, and devoted her days to being the parent she wished she had. I just followed her footsteps.
Two great kids, who married great kids, and supplied us with wonderful grand kids.
What a long strange trip it's been.

A long strange trip it's been for sure...

Chippie
06-18-2017, 02:15 PM
A group of us were sitting around a pool on holiday.

The conversation eventually led to "doing something like this if one won the lottery topic", or being wealthy.

The chap next to me suddenly asked me " did I wish I had been born wealthy?"

I immediately answered "No that would mean I would have had to change my Father"


I miss you Dad, but somehow I think you know.




Frankly, I think more about certain friend's parents on these greeting card days.
Both of mine were rather aloof. Mother was devoted to the church, father was devoted to his metallurgy lab and research.
As a father, I was lucky to marry the woman I did. As the daughter of two alcoholics, she knew exactly what not to do as a parent, and devoted her days to being the parent she wished she had. I just followed her footsteps.
Two great kids, who married great kids, and supplied us with wonderful grand kids.
What a long strange trip it's been.

It certainly is Jim.

I got cards from my Kids, Grandkids, and my first Great Grandson.

I'm looking forward to regaling him with stories about his Great/Great Grandad.