View Full Version : Darn and tarnation

05-25-2017, 04:04 PM
A young ****** woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation.

She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young woman declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"
The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?"

The woman headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.
Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.
As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.

With lightning reflexes, the woman takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank.
Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.

The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement.
The woman struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back.

Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration,
"D@MN IT, this one is barefoot too!!

If you don't think it is funny, don't whine, post one that you think is funny so we can all have a laugh.

Ian McColgin
05-25-2017, 05:20 PM
I don't think you should post intolerant jokes about brunettes . . . .

05-26-2017, 02:26 PM
I don't think you should post intolerant jokes about brunettes . . . .

I guess that rules out any Essex girl jokes. Pity.


05-26-2017, 02:42 PM
Humour seems to be a dying art, and is being replaced by cynicism and mockery. Too many thin skins and axes to grind, I guess. Anybody remember the old "Humor... I need humor" thread that went on for a few thousand posts?

05-26-2017, 07:01 PM
Harold Lloyd
W.C. Fields
Abbot and Costello
Laurel and Hardy
Keystone Kops
Three Stooges
Marx Brothers
Spanky and Our Gang
Red Skelton
Uncle Milty
Jack Benny
George & Gracie
The Smothers Brothers
Get Smart
The Man From U.N.C.L.E.