Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

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  • Norman Bernstein
    Liberaltarian
    • Nov 2004
    • 25217

    Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

    He should move to Nebraska!

    This election is winding down, thank heaven, and barring a bombshell backstage video in which Hillary is heard talking about how she loves to stroll into a men's room and let out a whoop and yank the waistbands of men at the urinals and yell "Snuggies!" the outcome is in sight, and finally we'll be done with Nate Silver and Politico and RealClearPolitics and the ranting and raving on YouTube and the borderline psycho posts on Facebook by people we wish we weren't related to, and we can get back to real life.

    The bitterness of it has been exhausting. The "issues" were piffle and mishegoss, there was zero illumination, the election was all about hostility. The ugly billionaire nitwit versus the Babylonian anti-Christ. The Trumpites stuck with him despite his hopelessness because his candidacy gave The New York Times fits, and the Hillareans stuck with her because the alternative was him.

    So here we are, loathing each other. Too bad, but we are a righteous people and we need to have someone to loathe.

    Look at the English language. The words that express peaceful harmony are so few, so pale, so flaccid, while the words that express disgust, dismay, revulsion constitute a vast and delicious vocabulary. "You've got bubblegum for brains, you jackass, you douchenugget, you are so average, did you eat dumb flakes for breakfast? Go sit on your thumb, you feeb, you nincompoop, you fathead" — it goes on and on and on. Shakespeare is loaded with insult from our rich Anglo-Saxon heritage. It's a language for people who don't like each other. You want harmony, go talk Sanskrit.

    So here we are, bilious and consternated, and in three weeks, it all comes to an end. Apparently, Mr. Trump will not call up Hillary on election night and offer her congratulations. He may file a lawsuit instead. His followers will be encouraged to believe that the election was rigged by Wall Street hedge fund managers in cahoots with the vaccine industry, followers of Saul Alinsky, and aliens living in Roswell, New Mexico, but whatever — it will be over. The shouting will die down. The "Lock her up" T-shirts will go into the bottom drawer. Families will gather for Thanksgiving and bite their tongues and avoid eye contact. There will be Christmas. The inauguration will take place, and Barack and Michelle and the girls will go to their new home and get out the Scrabble board and pop a kettle of popcorn. And next spring the 2020 campaign will begin.

    I worry about Donald Trump. What is he going to do? He has damaged his brand. The steaks, ties, home furnishings, fragrances, whiskey, resorts, condos, golf club memberships — when you associate yourself with white supremacy, male chauvinism and invincible ignorance, this is not smart marketing. He can't go back to the Tower. Manhattan is about 83 percent Democratic. Why live among people who don't appreciate you and ride around in a black limo with smoked-glass windows through crowds of pedestrians giving you the finger? It's no way to live.

    Does the man have friends? Or only associates? This is the big question. Is Sean really and truly his friend? Or Howard? Or Rudy? Do they go out for lunch and tell jokes about the two blondes who went to the drive-in theater in February to see "Closed For The Season"? I doubt this.

    He should pick up his traps and move to Nebraska. He is leading in Nebraska, about 2-to-1. There are wonderful warmhearted people there who love and admire him, so he would fit right in. Look at Broken Bow, a town of 4,000 on Highway 2 in Custer County. He could get a nice 3BR there for $150K. There's a municipal airport, a hospital. The restaurants are good if you like beef. You can play golf from May through September and after that you can use a fluorescent orange ball and play in the snow. He'd be far away from The New York Times. He could make Broken Bow great, put marble floors and walls in the public school, put up a marble statue of George Armstrong Custer. He could attend a good evangelical church every Sunday and go to Bible reading Wednesday night where maybe he can learn more about those two Corinthians. He'd need to be careful about touching women suddenly without permission though because many of them are armed. If he grabbed one down there, she might cut him a new buttonhole.

    Even if she were a Christian.
    "Reason and facts are sacrificed to opinion and myth. Demonstrable falsehoods are circulated and recycled as fact. Narrow minded opinion refuses to be subjected to thought and analysis. Too many now subject events to a prefabricated set of interpretations, usually provided by a biased media source. The myth is more comfortable than the often difficult search for truth."






  • delecta
    Banned
    • Sep 2007
    • 3591

    #2
    Re: Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

    Is there a point to this thread or are you being paid based on topics started?

    I'll have to do a search but have you ever made jest of Geng?

    Comment

    • John of Phoenix
      Senior Member
      • Jun 2001
      • 31214

      #3
      Re: Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

      The point is "Make Broken Bow Great Again".

      Comment

      • Keith Wilson
        Trying to be reasonable
        • Oct 1999
        • 64114

        #4
        Re: Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

        He was in good form when he wrote that.
        "For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations,
        for nature cannot be fooled."

        Richard Feynman

        Comment

        • David G
          Senior Member
          • Dec 2003
          • 89688

          #5
          Re: Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

          Originally posted by John of Phoenix
          The point is "Make Broken Bow Great Again".
          Well... duuuuhhh...

          David G
          Harbor Woodworks
          https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

          "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

          Comment

          • John of Phoenix
            Senior Member
            • Jun 2001
            • 31214

            #6
            Re: Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

            Originally posted by David G
            Well... duuuuhhh...

            My life would be so mundane without reds to ridicule.

            Comment

            • bobbys
              Senior Member
              • Jun 2009
              • 30711

              #7
              Re: Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

              What is GK running for?

              Comment

              • john welsford
                Senior Member
                • Sep 2002
                • 7752

                #8
                Re: Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

                Originally posted by bobbys
                What is GK running for?
                Pundit of the week.

                John Welsford
                An expert is but a beginner with experience.

                Comment

                • bobbys
                  Senior Member
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 30711

                  #9
                  Re: Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

                  Why would DT want advice from GK if he loses ?.

                  HUH?

                  Comment

                  • Glen Longino
                    Senior Member
                    • Jun 2008
                    • 28863

                    #10
                    Re: Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

                    Originally posted by bobbys
                    What is GK running for?
                    Speaking of Reds to ridicule!

                    Comment

                    • Paul Pless
                      pinko commie tree hugger
                      • Oct 2003
                      • 124805

                      #11
                      Re: Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

                      George Jung is not gonna be happy about that advice.
                      Simpler is better, except when complicated looks really cool.

                      Comment

                      • Lew Barrett
                        Landlocked
                        • Dec 2005
                        • 30035

                        #12
                        Re: Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

                        I wish Garrison Keillor wouldn't sing.
                        One of the most enduring qualities of an old wooden boat is the smell it imparts to your clothing.

                        Comment

                        • George Jung
                          Senior Member
                          • Jan 2004
                          • 31057

                          #13
                          Re: Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

                          Originally posted by Lew Barrett
                          I wish Garrison Keillor wouldn't sing.
                          He sings?

                          I missed that.
                          Last edited by George Jung; 10-20-2016, 09:46 AM. Reason: And no.... we're not too pleased with ol' Garrison right now, in Nebraskyland...
                          There's a lot of things they didn't tell me when I signed on with this outfit....

                          Comment

                          • bobbys
                            Senior Member
                            • Jun 2009
                            • 30711

                            #14
                            Re: Garrison Keillor's advice for Trump, after he loses

                            GK may not lose, as long as he does not sing he is in the running.

                            Comment

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