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Rum_Pirate
03-06-2016, 11:27 AM
1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3.Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get an engagaed signal; someone always answers.

5. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

6.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7.Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!

9.Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10.Law of the Theatre & Football Stadium- At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The people in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. This will also apply on airline flights.

11.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12.Murphy'sLaw of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13.Law of Physical Surfaces -

The chances of an open- faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14.Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

15. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

16.Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18.Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

skuthorp
03-06-2016, 11:57 AM
A lesson learned in my 20's, the law of the white linen suit.

Any vehicle, despite it past perfect operation will develop mechanical problems upon it's driver donning his white suit.
:cool:

Keith Wilson
03-06-2016, 12:06 PM
First law of machine design: The probability and severity of machine malfunction is proportional to the customer rep's position in the hierarchy. If they bring in a VP, the machine will either catch fire and burn down the building, or distribute itself in a uniform 1" layer over the entire plant floor.

Rum_Pirate
03-06-2016, 12:37 PM
a lesson learned in my 20's, the law of the white linen suit.

any vehicle, despite it past perfect operation will develop mechanical problems upon it's driver donning his white suit.
:cool:

first law of machine design: The probability and severity of machine malfunction is proportional to the customer rep's position in the hierarchy. If they bring in a vp, the machine will either catch fire and burn down the building, or distribute itself in a uniform 1" layer over the entire plant floor.

:dy> :dy>

Breakaway
03-06-2016, 04:31 PM
Law of The Forgotten Item: You'll only remember the tool you'll need as you climb the ladder.

Corollary: The more important the tool, the higher you will have climbed before remembering it.

Kevin

Canoeyawl
03-06-2016, 04:42 PM
Law of the "lost item"

"You will not find the "lost item" until you are looking for the next lost item"

S/V Laura Ellen
03-06-2016, 05:44 PM
law of the "lost item"

"you will not find the "lost item" until you have just paid to replace it"

fify

obscured by clouds
03-06-2016, 05:59 PM
Frizbee's law: Never start something complicated by anything more than " Watch this".

It's a Universal law that any organism will always live beyond it's means.

Canoeyawl
03-06-2016, 06:12 PM
Law of the "lost item"

"You will not find the "lost item" until you have just paid to replace it!"

fify

That falls under the law of "lost money"!