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Norman Bernstein
11-09-2015, 09:47 AM
...and us Jews need to be converted :)


Former Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) called for converting as many people as possible to Christianity because Jesus is “coming soon,” The Hill (http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/259504-bachmann-jesus-is-coming-soon) reports.

Said Bachmann: “We recognize the shortness of the hour. And that’s why we as a remnant want to be faithful in these days and do what it is that the Holy Spirit is speaking to each one of us, to be faithful in the Kingdom and to help bring in as many as we can — even among the Jews — share Jesus Christ with everyone that we possibly can because, again, he’s coming soon.”

Bachmann added that “the prophets longed to see the days that you and I live in.”

Glen Longino
11-09-2015, 09:52 AM
Stark-raving mad!

Peerie Maa
11-09-2015, 10:12 AM
Definitely one sandwich short of a pick-nick.

WszystekPoTrochu
11-09-2015, 10:19 AM
Stark-raving mad!

Why?

Aren't all Christians, wait - all Christians, Muslims and Hindi - wanting non-believers to convert, for their own good?

Keith Wilson
11-09-2015, 10:21 AM
https://fromtheleft.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/bachmanneyes1.jpg

WszystekPoTrochu
11-09-2015, 10:21 AM
And if we can't convert them, we'll smash their heads with beer mugs (http://bit.ly/1S7gWxE).

You are so wrong and sad thing is, You know it but post anyway.

TomF
11-09-2015, 10:28 AM
Jesus is coming . . . Look busy! ...Brilliant! :D :D

Rum_Pirate
11-09-2015, 10:28 AM
Erm, she is a former member of the US House of Representatives.

Why is she been given such attention on this forum?

WszystekPoTrochu
11-09-2015, 10:46 AM
That happened in MB's former Congressional District, and you can bet the assailant thought the Somali woman was Muslim.
Or, wait, did you not follow the link, and accuse me out of ignorance?
ROFLMAO!!!!

Assumptions, assumptions, assumptions.

I should bet what assailant thought, even though her words displayed xenophobia and nothing else. You can bet I didn't read the article, but I did follow the case here (http://forum.woodenboat.com/showthread.php?198999-The-Contemporary-State-of-Intellectual-Liberty-in-Britain&p=4704358#post4704358) in the morning and in this post for the second time. I will refuse to bet on assailants thoughts, as it is clearly stated that her issues concerned language.


You're assuming two-three times more than Those Despicable Republicans do. Your bias can easily compete with Fox News.
Get Your facts straight, attacks so mindless are not even amusing.

bobbys
11-09-2015, 10:50 AM
...and us Jews need to be converted :).

AMEN Sister!

bobbys
11-09-2015, 11:03 AM
Stark-raving mad!
.

Didja know the Bible commands the woman to make coffee for the man..


HeBrew..

I got a million of em!

Gerarddm
11-09-2015, 11:16 AM
Michelle who?

C'mon Norman, fish-barrel shooting isn't fun any more. Michelle boarded the Oblivion Express a long time ago ( apologies to Brian Auger ).

Peerie Maa
11-09-2015, 11:20 AM
Michelle who?

C'mon Norman, fish-barrel shooting isn't fun any more. Michelle boarded the Oblivion Express a long time ago ( apologies to Brian Auger ).

Some woman who people think worth interviewing.

Former Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) calls in an interview for converting as many people as possible to Christianity because Jesus is “coming soon.” Thats who.

Lew Barrett
11-09-2015, 11:21 AM
I thought he came already. That's one slow reload.

TomF
11-09-2015, 11:28 AM
I thought he came already. That's one slow reload.Ooh, I just can't say it. :D Damn, who knew I'd hit a blasphemy wall, when a one-liner's at stake.

Lew Barrett
11-09-2015, 11:32 AM
Ooh, I just can't say it. :D Damn, who knew I'd hit a blasphemy wall, when a one-liner's at stake.

Oh Tom, I could have been so much less discrete! :)

Gerarddm
11-09-2015, 11:34 AM
Paul Krassner's The Realist​ would have had a double-entendre field day with the phrase 'Jesus is coming'. :-)

Lew Barrett
11-09-2015, 11:44 AM
Paul Krassner's The Realist​ would have had a double-entendre field day with the phrase 'Jesus is coming'. :-)

Then there are those whose fear of being discrete is non-existent!

Seriously, the whole second coming thing is baffling. Was once not enough? And if it wasn't, doesn't the resurrection count as another turn? How many do you get?

Being open minded, I'm willing to hear Michele out. I think it would be an entertainment of sorts. I encourage her to reveal just how she proposes to accomplish the task she has set for herself, that is to convert practicing Hebes, Buddhists, Hindus, Sufis or just plain agnos like me.

LeeG
11-09-2015, 11:45 AM
"And boy is he mad!"

TomF
11-09-2015, 11:48 AM
"And boy is he mad!""Don't make me come down there!"

ron ll
11-09-2015, 11:54 AM
http://fogsmoviereviews.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/blasphemer.jpg

Lew Barrett
11-09-2015, 12:13 PM
Being a blasphemer comes with a lot of perks. No boring Sunday (or Saturday/Friday) sermons. You don't need to feel blessed. If something nice happens, you can feel lucky. If something nasty happens you can feel unlucky. In either case, you don't have to worry if a deity is pleased or angry with you. But most of all, being a blasphemer puts you in great company. Leonardo, Galileo, Darwin, Mencken, Scopes, even Jean d'Arc and Luther if you're of a Christian bent.

Harvey Golden
11-09-2015, 12:19 PM
Did Jesus ever convert?

Keith Wilson
11-09-2015, 12:20 PM
"And boy, is she pissed!"

TomF
11-09-2015, 12:20 PM
OK.

I have deleted about 4 replies to this.

I can't STAND it!Huh. What's that WBF definition of "rude," eh? And is there an appendix or codicil describing joyful religious whackadoodlery?

TomF
11-09-2015, 12:21 PM
Did Jesus ever convert?
Drop-kicked right through the goalposts. :D

Osborne Russell
11-09-2015, 12:23 PM
doesn't the resurrection count as another turn? How many do you get?

The more improbable and illogical the better. Being specific gets you into "the Great Disappointment" syndrome, where the world does not in fact end on the date you prophesied, as with Dr. Ben Carson's Seventh Day Adventists. Having a Plan B doesn't fit the prophet thing.

Keith Wilson
11-09-2015, 12:32 PM
OMG, that's right!! - The 7th Day Adventists are the descendants of the Millerites (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millerism)!! https://area51.phpbb.com/phpBB/images/smilies/icon_e_surprised.gif

ron ll
11-09-2015, 12:34 PM
Being a blasphemer comes with a lot of perks. No boring Sunday (or Saturday/Friday) sermons. You don't need to feel blessed. If something nice happens, you can feel lucky. If something nasty happens you can feel unlucky. In either case, you don't have to worry if a deity is pleased or angry with you. But most of all, being a blasphemer puts you in great company. Leonardo, Galileo, Darwin, Mencken, Scopes, even Jean d'Arc and Luther if you're of a Christian bent.

I went to a halloween party once as a blasphemer, an old football helmet with a lightning rod on top. Pissed of more people than I expected.

Curtism
11-09-2015, 12:42 PM
Just for the record, though my name be Miller, Curtism is in no way, shape or form affiliated with "Millerism".

John of Phoenix
11-09-2015, 12:43 PM
I can speak English, but we choose to speak whatever language we want.Clearly this poor woman doesn't understand that the 1st Amendment refers to the English language only. She's lucky she wasn't speaking "Mexican" - she'd likely be dead.

Ted Hoppe
11-09-2015, 12:50 PM
"Jesus is coming.... to do the yard and take away the trimmings", Bachmann claimed. On Sunday afternoon. a dark blue pickup truck was reported pulling a lawnmower trailer drove away from her property at around 3:30pm, reported the Minneapolis Times. The yard business is reportedly owned by Jesus Rodriguez of J&R lawn services.

http://www.your-lawn-care-basics-coach.com/images/my_lawn_care_equipment_pic22.jpg

Osborne Russell
11-09-2015, 02:31 PM
"the yard business is reportedly owned by jesus rodriguez of j&r lawn services.


ycmtsu

TomF
11-09-2015, 02:41 PM
I went to a halloween party once as a blasphemer, an old football helmet with a lightning rod on top. Pissed of more people than I expected.Some things are too serious to NOT crack jokes about them, and the Dude's ridiculous; the platypus? Seriously?

OTOH people trump jokes. If you know that something just wicked funny will get in a person's way, rattle 'round in their brain getting them hurt, it's not worth it.

Reynard38
11-09-2015, 02:49 PM
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w16/Reynard38/image_13.jpeg (http://s172.photobucket.com/user/Reynard38/media/image_13.jpeg.html)

skuthorp
11-09-2015, 03:13 PM
Whilst playing cricket a few years ago there was a full solar eclipse. Most of us retired to the pavilion for a beer but out on the grass amongst the spectators were people on their knees praying and some just terrified. I had no problem laughing at them whatsoever, they deserved it.
You can't stop stupid.

James McMullen
11-09-2015, 03:55 PM
Michelle Bachmann is my fantasy celebrity girlfriend.

You know what they say about the crazy ones. Just gaze into those eyes. . . .
That is orders of magnitude above your every-day, garden-variety crazy.

And she's gotta be totally starving for it after being married to that severely closeted and repressed gay husband of hers for so many years.

Nicholas Scheuer
11-09-2015, 04:01 PM
Contemplate this you sinners; if Bachmann were running for President this time around, she might poll right up there with the guy with the Orange Comb-Over and the Nut-Case Brain Surgeon.

Bob Adams
11-09-2015, 05:13 PM
.

Didja know the bible commands the woman to make beer for the man..

Hebrew..

I got a million of em!

fify!

Harvey Golden
11-09-2015, 05:30 PM
Whilst playing cricket a few years ago there was a full solar eclipse. Most of us retired to the pavilion for a beer but out on the grass amongst the spectators were people on their knees praying and some just terrified. I had no problem laughing at them whatsoever, they deserved it.
You can't stop stupid.

How can you make fun of people who saved you from a lifetime of darkness? You owe them.

Todd D
11-09-2015, 05:34 PM
Where is the rapture when you need it? ....so we could be rid of people like Bachman :D

seanz
11-09-2015, 07:40 PM
Jesus is coming, learn Aramaic.


bring in as many as we can — even among the Jews — share Jesus Christ with everyone that we possibly can

There's a lot in that. If I was Jewish, I'd be feeling slightly peeved about that 'even'. Not to mention that Jesus and most* of the disciples were Jewish.




*Quick, somebody check that.

Canoeyawl
11-09-2015, 09:44 PM
I thought he came already. That's one slow reload.


Yup - That ship has sailed

Boater14
11-10-2015, 07:36 AM
For those questioning why this was posted......ITS THE BILGE.

Michael D. Storey
11-10-2015, 01:52 PM
Jesus is coming . . . Look busy!

And if we can't convert them, we'll smash their heads with beer mugs (http://bit.ly/1S7gWxE).
Remember Alan Arkin as The Fixer? He got beat up with a bejeweled cross because he would not convert. I am always disgusted by the 'the' that precedes the outcast group. Don't matter if they are a religious or a social or an economic group. The cool kids they are not, and they are the 'the's'

Chip-skiff
11-10-2015, 01:59 PM
So, what time is he coming? Maybe around dinner?

Does he keep kosher?

Arizona Bay
11-10-2015, 02:23 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4d4yB-cm6E

ron ll
11-10-2015, 03:31 PM
So, what time is he coming? Maybe around dinner?

Does he keep kosher?

He'll bring the wine.

Michael D. Storey
11-10-2015, 03:39 PM
He'll bring the wine.
Oi. I hope it's Rothschild

Chris Coose
11-10-2015, 04:06 PM
In Swampscott there was a gigantic wrap around sea wall. Somebody took a great deal of time and in 8' bi-colored letters painted "Jesus Saves". Not long after somebody scrawled "Orr scores on the Rebound" in spray paint.

Former Congresswoman Bachmann is going to make more money than Sarah Palin between now and the Rapture.

Chip-skiff
11-10-2015, 04:16 PM
he'll bring the wine.

:d :d :d :d

John of Phoenix
11-10-2015, 04:20 PM
He'll bring the wine.I got a chemistry set for Christmas in the 8th grade. One of the "experiments" was "turning water into wine". With today's technology and his talent, I bet he could actually make some Rothchild's.

Bobby of Tulsa
11-10-2015, 04:33 PM
If you guys would take a little time to read the book, there is no such word as rapture, this all started with a young girls dream.http://www.goodnewsaboutgod.com/studies/rapture2.htm

Mad Scientist
11-10-2015, 04:39 PM
1. People have been announcing the imminent Second Coming for more than 2000 years...somebody needs to determine what 'soon' means in Biblical timelines.

2. IIRC, the NT tells us that we cannot know the exact time. Maybe replace 'soon' with 'eventually', but it just doesn't sound quite as compelling.

3. "Jesus came already, but got deported to Mexico with all the other illegals!" - sure wish I could remember where I saw that.

Tom

Jim Mahan
11-10-2015, 04:50 PM
With today's technology and his talent, I bet he could actually make some Rothchild's.

And if He logged on here woodenboat-Instant-aging-your-bourbon (http://forum.woodenboat.com/showthread.php?199060-Instant-aging-your-bourbon), He'd be able to age it, too.

John of Phoenix
11-10-2015, 05:00 PM
And if He logged on here woodenboat-Instant-aging-your-bourbon (http://forum.woodenboat.com/showthread.php?199060-Instant-aging-your-bourbon), He'd be able to age it, too.I bet He's a lurker.

Michael D. Storey
11-10-2015, 05:05 PM
If you guys would take a little time to read the book, there is no such word as rapture, this all started with a young girls dream.http://www.goodnewsaboutgod.com/studies/rapture2.htm
In case of rapture, can I have your car?

Jim Bow
11-10-2015, 09:19 PM
https://youtu.be/dG9tuuznL1Y

Jim Bow
11-10-2015, 10:26 PM
Mr. Bachmann is pleased as punch.
http://www.minnpost.com/sites/default/files/images/articles/RTR2PE5F.jpg

Harvey Golden
11-10-2015, 11:59 PM
I turned wine into water tonight. Ain't that sum'thin?

skuthorp
11-11-2015, 01:44 AM
For those questioning why this was posted......ITS THE BILGE.
Does that mean we need a comedy sub-forum?

skuthorp
11-11-2015, 01:45 AM
I turned wine into water tonight. Ain't that sum'thin?
Nah, most Aussies can do it with beer any day………………..:d