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View Full Version : Since I have been on this low card diet.........



bobbys
06-04-2015, 10:14 AM
I'm awful constipated .

Sure it's a joke to youse but it's real to me.

Paul Pless
06-04-2015, 10:17 AM
fart

S.V. Airlie
06-04-2015, 10:18 AM
He'd like TO!

Norman Bernstein
06-04-2015, 10:18 AM
Too much cheese... and too much information.

S.V. Airlie
06-04-2015, 10:19 AM
Prunes!

RonW
06-04-2015, 10:32 AM
Warm milk with molasses.........be patient all things shall pass........

Canoeyawl
06-04-2015, 10:32 AM
You are only supposed to eat the royal cards, kings, queens and jacks. Once in a while you may have an ace.

xflow7
06-04-2015, 10:33 AM
Once in a while you may have an ace.

But I think he's trying for a deuce...

S.V. Airlie
06-04-2015, 10:34 AM
You are only supposed to eat the royal cards, kings, queens and jacks. Once in a while you may have an ace.Yup, the crowns are a B***H to digest.

Lew Barrett
06-04-2015, 11:31 AM
But I think he's trying for a deuce...

Ha! He needs some flow!

S.V. Airlie
06-04-2015, 11:34 AM
Ha! He needs some flow!

http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=JN.vRbeI8LjNtTz8D8qcxzxqA&w=300&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0

Gib Etheridge
06-04-2015, 12:15 PM
Follow the directions Bobby. It works gently next day.

http://cdn-x.stockngo.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/m/e/metamucil-orange-48.2oz-1_3.jpg (http://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAcQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fimgkid.com%2Fmetamucil.shtml&ei=ZIdwVZaVOZHmoAT1wIO4Cw&bvm=bv.95039771,d.cGU&psig=AFQjCNG7MMcII8uxq94uQY9lFN1S4OBMwA&ust=1433524447666885)

S.V. Airlie
06-04-2015, 12:47 PM
Aw heck, don't follow the directions! That would be exciting to/for some

Canoez
06-04-2015, 12:57 PM
Low card? They still let you into the casino?

bobbys
06-04-2015, 01:34 PM
Follow the directions Bobby. It works gently next day.

http://cdn-x.stockngo.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/m/e/metamucil-orange-48.2oz-1_3.jpg (http://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAcQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fimgkid.com%2Fmetamucil.shtml&ei=ZIdwVZaVOZHmoAT1wIO4Cw&bvm=bv.95039771,d.cGU&psig=AFQjCNG7MMcII8uxq94uQY9lFN1S4OBMwA&ust=1433524447666885)
.

Thank you gib, I have a generic brand I just used,

The situation is getting desperate..

No excuses but I thought I put carb, It's not the first time the boss changed my posts! LOL!

bobbys
06-04-2015, 01:34 PM
fart.

Well, yeah,

Canoez
06-04-2015, 01:37 PM
http://d3a005dv9q91mu.cloudfront.net/uploads/2014/09/ColonBlow-e1409943614904.jpg

Like everything else in the supermarket, the actual product doesn't look as good as the picture on the box. :rolleyes:

S.V. Airlie
06-04-2015, 01:39 PM
I hope NOT!

Peerie Maa
06-04-2015, 01:42 PM
Try this http://www.mrbreakfast.com/cereal/c_43.jpg

And eat five different types of fruit or veg every day.

TerryLL
06-04-2015, 02:03 PM
Salad, fruit, figs, apricots, greens of all sorts. Stay off the cheese, drink lots of water. When all else fails, a quart of warm prune juice will get those vital juices flowing once again. Stay close to the loo.

Peerie Maa
06-04-2015, 02:09 PM
Prunes, senna or Allbran will fix it, but can be an unpleasant experience. Try the milder long term solutions first.

S.V. Airlie
06-04-2015, 02:11 PM
Prunes, senna or Allbran will fix it, but can be an unpleasant experience. Try the milder long term solutions first.Just DON"T fart!

TomF
06-04-2015, 02:15 PM
Dave Barry (http://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article1928847.html)offered some impressive advice, if you're feeling adventurous.

Shang
06-04-2015, 02:29 PM
Take two, with lots of water.

http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAcQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fkandalaksha.su%2Fhand-grenade-found-by-garbage-dumpster%2F&ei=c6ZwVca5NfK1sQSy6YDgAw&bvm=bv.94911696,d.cWc&psig=AFQjCNE1AaVW5mWwvwwG2o_KZWwM-IhGhA&ust=1433532380972437

Lew Barrett
06-04-2015, 02:33 PM
I think the issue is that fruits and high fiber cereals, even though they are good for you in every possible way, are generally higher in carbohydrates than a strict low carb diet allows for. That's the reason why Atkins style diets don't work for me. Better to try loading up on fruit and especially veggies as long as there are no doctor ordered restrictions on that.

S.V. Airlie
06-04-2015, 02:35 PM
Eat cellery! It's gonna use more energy to get rid of than eat!

John of Phoenix
06-04-2015, 03:16 PM
Chorizo.

It even starts out like you want to end up.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/17/Chorizo1-edited.jpg/800px-Chorizo1-edited.jpg

S.V. Airlie
06-04-2015, 03:22 PM
In a sausage casing! LOL!

Robert W. Long
06-04-2015, 03:22 PM
I started the no carb no sugar diet around last November and quickly lost 30# and have kept it off. Have patience your body will adjust in time. I had the same problem as you but it passed.

bobbys
06-04-2015, 03:27 PM
Chorizo.

It even starts out like you want to end up.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/17/Chorizo1-edited.jpg/800px-Chorizo1-edited.jpg
.

I wish!

bobbys
06-04-2015, 03:28 PM
I started the no carb no sugar diet around last November and quickly lost 30# and have kept it off. Have patience your body will adjust in time. I had the same problem as you but it passed..

Thanks Robert any advice from a veteran.?

P.I. Stazzer-Newt
06-04-2015, 04:12 PM
phenolphthalein

Dave Gray
06-04-2015, 05:11 PM
Chorizo.

It even starts out like you want to end up.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/17/Chorizo1-edited.jpg/800px-Chorizo1-edited.jpg

Spew!

Lew Barrett
06-04-2015, 06:13 PM
I had the same problem as you but it passed.

He's waiting for that glorious moment when it does.

AnalogKid
06-04-2015, 07:09 PM
Kiwi fruit - or extract thereof:

http://phloenz.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Buy-Online-Phloe-Capsules.jpg

Flying Orca
06-04-2015, 08:19 PM
phenolphthalein

Two exits, no waiting.

Robert W. Long
06-04-2015, 08:32 PM
Yes Bobbys, look for a used copy of the original atkins diet book published last in 1976. They can be found cheap online. Atkins has since evolved into a marketing scam. The original diet is bone simple and it works. Basically you cut out carbs and sugar and can eat unlimited amounts and kinds of meat,fish, and fowl, eggs, butter. No need to go hungry. For me the constipation went away after a few weeks. Drink LOTS of water. The book is " Dr. Atkins Diet Revolution" by Robert C. Atkins, M.D. published by David McKay Company, Inc. New York. 1972.
When you reach your target weight you can start carefully adding back things like breads, pasta, starchy vegies etc. I've gone from 215# to 175# and am now stable at 180#. Give it a try, it works, and quickly too!

S.V. Airlie
06-04-2015, 08:34 PM
In essence, eat anything YOU don't like! And the sponsor for aitkins? Oh, wait a minute, it's, it's....!

PeterSibley
06-04-2015, 11:09 PM
4 apples a day.

CK 17
06-05-2015, 12:22 AM
How about a well balanced diet and exercise. I've never known anyone to keep the weight off via Atkins. sure the lose it quick, but. . . .

Lew Barrett
06-05-2015, 12:28 AM
Ketosis and diabetes. (http://www.diabetes.co.uk/blood-glucose/ketosis.html)

David G
06-05-2015, 12:38 AM
Low card, eh? Nothing higher than a 9???? No wonder you're bound up. Does the suit matter? Diamonds are probably pretty low-calorie.

seanz
06-05-2015, 12:38 AM
Kiwi fruit - or extract thereof:

http://phloenz.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Buy-Online-Phloe-Capsules.jpg

Yep.


Always a good idea to increase water intake when you go on a diet.

bobbys
06-05-2015, 12:37 PM
War is over!

TerryLL
06-05-2015, 05:18 PM
War is over!

Will the bathroom need repainting?

Duncan Gibbs
06-05-2015, 05:55 PM
He finally got a royal flush.

bobbys
06-05-2015, 08:17 PM
He finally got a royal flush..

Did you feel a wave surge down under?

Lew Barrett
06-05-2015, 09:23 PM
.

Did you feel a wave surge down under?

They didn't, but I'm guessing you did? :)

Dave Gray
06-05-2015, 10:26 PM
plop plop fizz fizz oh what a relief it is

Duncan Gibbs
06-05-2015, 10:40 PM
Did you feel a wave surge down under?

Location: Above flood level

Spin_Drift
06-06-2015, 01:28 AM
.
Just don't take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time ...
.

S.V. Airlie
06-06-2015, 02:40 AM
.
Just don't take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time ...
. Spin! Shame on you, you naughty girl! The visions running rampant through my mind is uummmm, well never mind!:)

Canoeyawl
07-12-2018, 12:34 PM
Stopped up again

David G
07-12-2018, 12:38 PM
Please stop. PLEASE!! <G>

Norman Bernstein
07-12-2018, 12:52 PM
Ironic: I had just done some googling about the safety of ketogenic diets.... right after reading a new article about the recent research which shows diets like that to be beneficial for a number of conditions. The general consensus I got, after reading a bunch of actual medico-academic articles, is that it's generally a safe sort of diet, as long as it's not taken to ridiculous extremes.

I did it, around 35 years ago, and did lose quite a bit of weight... but I DO remember constipation as being a significant side effect. I suspect that a fiber supplement should be an essential component for anyone attempting it.

birlinn
07-12-2018, 01:51 PM
Try this http://www.mrbreakfast.com/cereal/c_43.jpg

And eat five different types of fruit or veg every day.

How much of the packet do you eat for a low-card diet?

john welsford
07-12-2018, 01:57 PM
If you're really suffering, go to your local dispensary and get some suppositories, they're only a short term solution to the problem but will give you some immediate relief.

John Welsford

Tom Montgomery
07-12-2018, 02:02 PM
Bumping bobbys old threads seems wrong to me.

Peerie Maa
07-12-2018, 02:13 PM
How much of the packet do you eat for a low-card diet?

You can buy bran from health food shops.. W@e add it to poridge. I suppose that if you are off carbs add it to soups and stews.

I did recommend the 2 - 5 diet. It is working for me, and although the 5 days require smaller helpings there is no real restriction to what you eat.

Ted Hoppe
07-12-2018, 06:36 PM
Or you could just walk for 30 mins after eating...

Canoeyawl
07-12-2018, 07:03 PM
http://d3a005dv9q91mu.cloudfront.net/uploads/2014/09/ColonBlow-e1409943614904.jpg


Like everything else in the supermarket, the actual product doesn't look as good as the picture on the box. :rolleyes:

Yum