He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

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  • Paul Pless
    pinko commie tree hugger
    • Oct 2003
    • 124805

    He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

    The woman who indulges in carpenter-work seldom does much harm. She contents herself with trying to drive nails into the wall, and with experiments with mucilage. She drives her nails with great caution, and when she has loosened an inch or two of plaster she becomes alarmed, and resolves to let her husband assume the responsibility of inflicting further injury on the wall.

    She has a profound faith in the value of mucilage as a substitute for glue, and hopefully attempts to mend china and furniture with it; but mucilage is as harmless as it is inefficient, and it is only on the rare occasions when it is used to mend the wheels of the clock that it does any permanent injury to anything.



    It is doubtless the timidity of woman which restrains her mending instincts. She dreads the saw and the chisel as treacherous tools that inevitably inflict wounds on the user, and she dislikes hot glue owing to its proneness to burn unwary fingers. Moreover, she can never grasp the difference between a nail and a screw, and regards the latter as an absurd variety of nail which can not be driven with a hammer unless the wielder of the hammer has the muscles of a man.


    Thus, for one reason or another, carpenter-work as practiced by woman is harmless and inexpensive, and she knows nothing of the remorse to which the man who owns an amateur tool chest and is not wholly hardened is a prey. Nothing more surely devastating than a man with a fondness for amateur carpentry is ever found in a respectable household. The reckless inebriate who throws all the furniture out of the window does perhaps an equal amount of injury, but he can not be said to be a feature of respectable households.
    The woman who indulges in carpenter-work seldom does much harm. She contents herself with trying to drive nails into the wall, and with experiments with mucilage. She drives her nails with great ca…
    Simpler is better, except when complicated looks really cool.
  • Duncan Gibbs
    Ninety percent sandpaper
    • Oct 2007
    • 18339

    #2
    Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

    The amateur carpenter always has perfect confidence in himself, and instead of learning humility from his many failures, he grows bolder and more reckless.
    Captain Rod?
    Jarndyce and Jarndyce

    The Mighty Pippin
    Mirror 30141
    Looe
    Dragon KA93

    Comment

    • PeterSibley
      Senior Member
      • Dec 2001
      • 70993

      #3
      Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

      Nup, Pless is talking about me .
      '' You ain't gonna learn what you don't want to know. ''
      Grateful Dead

      Comment

      • Duncan Gibbs
        Ninety percent sandpaper
        • Oct 2007
        • 18339

        #4
        Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

        There is yet to be found a single instance of a successful shortening of table legs by a man with an amateur tool chest, although several exasperated and persevering men have sawed an entire set of four legs into small pieces in the vain hope of bringing them into uniformity.
        Priceless!
        Jarndyce and Jarndyce

        The Mighty Pippin
        Mirror 30141
        Looe
        Dragon KA93

        Comment

        • Phillip Allen
          new member
          • May 2002
          • 63618

          #5
          Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

          Originally posted by PeterSibley
          Nup, Pless is talking about me .
          written, no doubt, for she who must not be named

          got that bathroom finished yet?
          The doctrine of nonresistance against arbitrary power, and oppression, is absurd, slavish, and destructive of the good and happiness of mankind.
          Personal failures are too important to be trusted to others.

          Comment

          • Michael D. Storey
            Senior Member
            • Nov 2009
            • 6276

            #6
            Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

            Lookit, it is not my intent to get all sour about a clearly dated piece of writing, or about someone's idea of humor, but if that piece quoted in the opening used the term 'black man' instead of the term 'woman', it would have never appeared here.
            We refrain from using slurs for race, even when they were written over 100 years ago, and are in a relevant context, even, but apparently it's okay to make comments that presume that women are inferior because of their gender.
            We get humor like that here, things that would better fit into a Readers Digest from 1961. Maybe we hide behind the veil of 'I didn't say it! I'm merely repeating it!'
            It's trash. It's all little boy trash.

            Comment

            • Paul Pless
              pinko commie tree hugger
              • Oct 2003
              • 124805

              #7
              Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

              i actually found the piece to be self deprecating for men, for myself at least. . .
              'course kat may well wish to take her rolling pin to me when she gets home tonight

              the piece was dated 1883 btw
              Last edited by Paul Pless; 05-06-2015, 07:52 AM.
              Simpler is better, except when complicated looks really cool.

              Comment

              • Katherine
                Too Young to be a Senior
                • Sep 2004
                • 13902

                #8
                Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

                There is yard work, garden work, and home remodeling work to get done. I can forgive a lot to a productive husband.😄
                Pet photography, the degree you get when you fail aromatherapy - Duck D.

                Comment

                • Paul Pless
                  pinko commie tree hugger
                  • Oct 2003
                  • 124805

                  #9
                  Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

                  single handing a worm drive, my kinda lady
                  Simpler is better, except when complicated looks really cool.

                  Comment

                  • Jim Ledger
                    Senior Member
                    • Nov 2006
                    • 9805

                    #10
                    Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

                    Dave, how is the book directed towards women? Carpentry is carpentry, no?

                    Comment

                    • john welsford
                      Senior Member
                      • Sep 2002
                      • 7752

                      #11
                      Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

                      McMullen would like that illustration, that saw would be perfect for cutting gains.
                      John Welsford

                      Originally posted by Dave Wright
                      I've had this book for 30 years now, I highly recommend it:

                      An expert is but a beginner with experience.

                      Comment

                      • Kevin T
                        Senior Member
                        • Nov 2009
                        • 5414

                        #12
                        Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

                        Originally posted by Paul Pless
                        single handing a worm drive, my kinda lady
                        Yeah that's the ticket! Able to rip sheet goods one-handed by day, and box your ears later that night all the while unkinking your sheets and laying em down shipshape on deck.

                        It'd never be boring.
                        "Unrepentant Reprobate"
                        Lew Barrett


                        Comment

                        • Jim Ledger
                          Senior Member
                          • Nov 2006
                          • 9805

                          #13
                          Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

                          Originally posted by Dave Wright
                          I think it was written from the assumption that women have less familiarity with tools and construction (the author is a women, that's her take, and I expessedly decline to give my view on the subject one way or the other). I think this assumption contributes to more detailed, complete, and comprehensive descriptions. For example, chapter 7 describes installing door jambs, hinges, and hanging doors. The details on making the door swing smoothly on the hinges are particularly clear, for example.

                          I learned a about hanging doors from my Dad, as in "let's hang that damn door, what the hell, chock it up a bit more on that side, sh!t no, try the other side," all learning by doing. I think the author assumes that learning by doing may not have taken place for most women and provides a more detailed write up to make up for this. The book is 250 pages, excellent sketches throughout, and complete index.
                          You're lucky, Dave! Most of the dads of my aquaintance, well...you'd be better off not learning how to hang a door from any a them. You be old before you got back on the right track.

                          Ever try to teach cabinetmaking to a carpenter? Can't be done.

                          Comment

                          • oznabrag
                            Historical Illiterate
                            • Nov 2008
                            • 40761

                            #14
                            Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

                            Originally posted by Michael D. Storey
                            ...if that piece quoted in the opening used the term 'black man' instead of the term 'woman', it would have never appeared here.
                            ...
                            Originally posted by Jim Ledger
                            ...
                            Ever try to teach cabinetmaking to a carpenter? Can't be done.
                            If you had used the term 'black man' rather than 'carpenter', your post would never have appeared here!

                            Seriously though, I started out as a carpenter and taught myself cabinet making.

                            I've built a few boats and a good bit of furniture, too.

                            I've been self-employed most of my adult life, and I'm the worst boss I ever had!
                            Rattling the teacups.

                            Comment

                            • Jim Ledger
                              Senior Member
                              • Nov 2006
                              • 9805

                              #15
                              Re: He is so handy with his tools that he can do almost anything

                              I've never actually taught anybody anything in my life, John. My observation stems from my recollection of what a stubborn know-it-all I used to be to my kindly, patient mentors.

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