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Lew Barrett
04-20-2015, 07:50 PM
I get the tube on Thursday. I'm not looking forward to Wednesday.

I had boiled eggs this morning, feta and turkey meatballs with a piece of naan for lunch and I'm going to go out and buy myself a big steak for dinner, but what I really want is about 6 little tangerines. I don't dread it nearly as much as I do colon cancer, but the thing is an annoyance.

Gerarddm
04-20-2015, 07:51 PM
No biggie. My advice is use baby wipes copiously and you will be OK.

ron ll
04-20-2015, 07:53 PM
Banana Popsicles saved my butt.

Wait. No. I mean you EAT them. Part of the liquid diet. :D

Lew Barrett
04-20-2015, 07:57 PM
Indeed, it's no biggie.....this is my third time around. But it is an annoyance. Actually drinking the gallon of Go Lightly is the worst part. Go Lightly. What a misnomer! I find the process cleansing when is all over in an odd sort of way. But Go Lightly? Please!

Lew Barrett
04-20-2015, 07:58 PM
Banana Popsicles saved my butt.

Wait. No. I mean you EAT them. Part of the liquid diet. :D

Where did you find banana pops? All the ice pops I like have the wrong stuff in them.

Norman Bernstein
04-20-2015, 08:00 PM
Dave Barry suggested installing seat belts on the commode :)

seanz
04-20-2015, 08:01 PM
But Go Lightly? Please!

Is it because sparks come out, maybe?

Shang
04-20-2015, 08:03 PM
Lew! Another hero among us!

You sound as if you've been through this before, Lew, and are in a position (oh damn, I didn't mean to say "position"!
...to tell everyone else that it's a piece of cake...(Oh damn again, I didn't mean to refer to food!)

Norman Bernstein
04-20-2015, 08:05 PM
Look on the bright side. The prep is a bitch.... But the drugs are terrific!

Paul Pless
04-20-2015, 08:05 PM
Hope everything comes out okay.

Norman Bernstein
04-20-2015, 08:07 PM
Hope everything comes out okay.

Everything WILL come out. That's the goal!

ron ll
04-20-2015, 08:08 PM
Where did you find banana pops? All the ice pops I like have the wrong stuff in them.



QFC. "Icepix". Of course they are full of sugar and artificial garbage, but I didn't see that outlawed on the instructions. :)
Regardless, good luck and I hope the nurses are cute.

paulf
04-20-2015, 08:10 PM
Dave Barry suggested installing seat belts on the commode :)

He also said "Imagine a space shuttle launch, and you are the space shuttle."

paulf
04-20-2015, 08:14 PM
I'm due for another one, I have to give myself shots in my gut to get off blood thinners before the "inspection" for about a week before and a week after.

Lew Barrett
04-20-2015, 08:17 PM
QFC. "Icepix". Of course they are full of sugar and artificial garbage, but I didn't see that outlawed on the instructions. :)
Regardless, good luck and I hope the nurses are cute.

Isn't the last thing you want cute nurses in this situation? When I had my brachytherapy (radioactive needles in the taint) I was informed as I was being wheeled into the OR that my procedure was being observed by students. Did I mind? More like.....I hope you don't mind.......

Lew Barrett
04-20-2015, 08:18 PM
QFC. "Icepix". Of course they are full of sugar and artificial garbage, but I didn't see that outlawed on the instructions. :)
Regardless, good luck and I hope the nurses are cute.

Thanks. On my way over there in a few minutes.

Lew Barrett
04-20-2015, 08:21 PM
Lew! Another hero among us!

You sound as if you've been through this before, Lew, and are in a position (oh damn, I didn't mean to say "position"!
...to tell everyone else that it's a piece of cake...(Oh damn again, I didn't mean to refer to food!)

It is actually a piece of cake. The consequences of not getting scoped, should you have needed to be, are absolutely horrific, whereas the whole meghilla is in reality a walk in the park....as you long as you take care to never find yourself far from the toilet!

ron ll
04-20-2015, 08:23 PM
After whatever they stuck in my arm, ALL the nurses looked cute. And I really didn't care that they weren't seeing my best side.

Lew Barrett
04-20-2015, 08:23 PM
Look on the bright side. The prep is a bitch.... But the drugs are terrific!

They are, but the circumstances are less than ideal. After my prostate treatment the docs warned me that whenever I get this procedure I need to make sure the gastro guy knows I'm radioactive because the tissue at my crossing points are pretty toasted. He said, and I quote: "make sure the guys is a race car driver." The thing that's always lurked in the back of my mind? How the hell would I know?

Lew Barrett
04-20-2015, 08:25 PM
After whatever they stuck in my arm, ALL the nurses looked cute. And I really didn't care that they weren't seeing my best side.
I have never rememberd a thing, and to be honest, at my age vanity is not a worthwhile pursuit. Yeah sure, make 'em cute!

Bobby of Tulsa
04-20-2015, 08:27 PM
Good thoughts to you sir.

ron ll
04-20-2015, 08:30 PM
How often do you guys do this? After mine last year, the doc said, "Whatever you're doing, keep doing it. See you in five years." Is that normal for a 70 year old? (Maybe he just didn't think I'd still be around in five years. :D )

Rich Jones
04-20-2015, 08:49 PM
How often do you guys do this? After mine last year, the doc said, "Whatever you're doing, keep doing it. See you in five years." Is that normal for a 70 year old? (Maybe he just didn't think I'd still be around in five years. :D ) Because of family history, I've had it done three times by age 61. Last time was a couple of years ago and the guy said I don't have to come back for another ten years. I'm seeing the guy in a few weeks for something else, but am going to confirm that ten year thing.

bobbys
04-20-2015, 09:08 PM
I feel Fer Ya lew.

Can anything flush out all that Matzo and hamentashen?

tomlarkin
04-20-2015, 09:33 PM
Pics or it never happened!:)
Best wishes, Lew!

No, no! Thanks anyway.

Dave Wright
04-20-2015, 09:39 PM
Assuming you don't have some special circumstances or condition, they recommend 5 years if they find polyps, 10 years if they don't. The prep is too much of a pain in the arse. I had a flex sigmoidoscopy at 55 and my first colonoscopy at 66. It's your body and you can do whatever schedule you wish, depending on what you think you know about your body and history. My wife decided that she was never going to have one - so far so good. You can do the little smear tests for blood, that's better than nothing.

Gerarddm
04-20-2015, 10:57 PM
My doc told me ten years.

C. Ross
04-20-2015, 11:32 PM
Savor it Lew. This could be your last one.

http://www.twincities.com/health/ci_26804854/new-home-test-colon-cancer-clean-easy-and

Duncan Gibbs
04-20-2015, 11:55 PM
I have to have one every five years minimum as I've got diverticulosis. Horrible is the word, the lead up in particular.

Just remember to quote Gloria Swanson as the drugs kick in... "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."

skuthorp
04-21-2015, 05:24 AM
Every 2.5 for me, had the whole tunnel looked at top to well you know.:d

All clear BTW.

Canoez
04-21-2015, 05:48 AM
I used to design colonoscopes. Sorry Lew, but we made them as small as we could.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N0w2rORwSc

Rum_Pirate
04-21-2015, 05:55 AM
Have the check ups done.

My friend died this month from cancer. It started in the colon, he had a length removed a few years ago. It came back and spread up and into his liver.

So my advice as a lay person who has lost 2 friends that way is get the check-ups. Lot better than lying inn a coffin.

Norman Bernstein
04-21-2015, 07:45 AM
Because of family history, I've had it done three times by age 61. Last time was a couple of years ago and the guy said I don't have to come back for another ten years. I'm seeing the guy in a few weeks for something else, but am going to confirm that ten year thing.

Same story here: my mother had colon cancer, and she hadn't had a colonoscopy until she was in her mid-70's, when it was detected. Thankfully, she's almost 91 now, and apparently 'cured'. Because of the history, I've had them every 5 years... four of them so far.

The recommendations have changed over time, so perhaps I won't have another for 10 years. For my Mom, they're telling her she won't need another one, at all.... probably on the presumption that, at age 91, there's little point to doing it.

Perhaps, as CT technology improves, the explicit procedure will be replaced with a simple scan.

S.V. Airlie
04-21-2015, 07:51 AM
I guess I was one of the luckier ones. No issues although the diet I was given was bland but, have heard or had worse. The liquid cleansers I put in the ice box and drank it when it was REALLY COLD! Not so bad. The nurses were, I suspect 55ish but, I was asleep so what did I care! Good luck Lew!

Canoez
04-21-2015, 07:52 AM
Same story here: my mother had colon cancer, and she hadn't had a colonoscopy until she was in her mid-70's, when it was detected. Thankfully, she's almost 91 now, and apparently 'cured'. Because of the history, I've had them every 5 years... four of them so far.

The recommendations have changed over time, so perhaps I won't have another for 10 years. For my Mom, they're telling her she won't need another one, at all.... probably on the presumption that, at age 91, there's little point to doing it.

Perhaps, as CT technology improves, the explicit procedure will be replaced with a simple scan.

That would be nice.

The technology today seems to be leaning towards the pill-cam. They are primarily intended for scanning the small intestine, but the problem is that the pill-cams tumble when in the large intestine and they used to not have enough battery life to scan the whole digestive tract. Today, battery life has improved and they've been developing solutions to the tumbling problem. You still have to do the prep, but you don't need to go to the hospital to have a procedure - you just swallow the pill, wear the digital recorder (Wireless, thank gawd...) and go about your day.

Regardless of whether there will be a CT/MRI type scan or a pill-cam, if the diagnostic testing turns up polyps or something unusual, you're going to have a second procedure with a scope to remove the tissue and have a biopsy.

pkrone
04-21-2015, 08:01 AM
Lawyers and politicians lose at least 30 lbs w/ a bowel prep. Bilge rats? Probably even more...

Lew Barrett
04-21-2015, 10:56 AM
Your support evokes a great outpouring of warm feelings and flushes any niggling fears I may have had down the drain.
Knowing your friends are behind you watching your back and urging you on from behind is.......cleansing!

Truthfully, as all of us who have had this are aware (I'm on an every 5 years schedule) it's really no biggie. I just reckoned it was time for another colonoscopy thread. That's what friends can do.......share their most intimate events while making light of a very thorough enema!

CK 17
04-21-2015, 11:06 AM
I've had two. My wife is amused by the drugged up me. I tried to eat the post procedure muffin with the paper on it. I told her to hand over the keys, I feel fine. Thankfully, she didn't.

John of Phoenix
04-21-2015, 11:19 AM
So buddy, everything coming out ok? :D

"And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like."

Dave Barry's colonoscopy story (http://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article1928847.html)

hokiefan
04-21-2015, 11:26 AM
I had mine almost 5 years ago, probably about time for another. As I was laying there waiting for the doc to get on with it I had two thoughts. One was about the doc, his job was to come into the hospital every day and about every 20 minutes or so shove a camera up somebody's butt. He spent a crap ton of money to earn that job. The other was that the only cute nurse in the whole place was the one I was mooning while said doc shoved said camera. Oh well...

Cheers,

Bobby

Oldersalt
04-21-2015, 11:32 AM
The guidelines usually mention that clear liquids are ok. Remember, gin is a clear liquid.

Lew Barrett
04-21-2015, 02:56 PM
So buddy, everything coming out ok? :D

"And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like."

Dave Barry's colonoscopy story (http://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article1928847.html)


That's it!

Lew Barrett
04-21-2015, 02:57 PM
The guidelines usually mention that clear liquids are ok. Remember, gin is a clear liquid.

No alcohol for the last 24. It says so right in my instructions. But today is not that day.

Lew Barrett
04-21-2015, 03:12 PM
Savor it Lew. This could be your last one.

http://www.twincities.com/health/ci_26804854/new-home-test-colon-cancer-clean-easy-and

Wouldn't that be nice! If there is a better overall medical research facility in the country than the Mayo Clinic, I don't know what it is.

They have five years to get the thing into general practice for me! That is, if they don't find me worse (or better).

Canoez
04-21-2015, 03:15 PM
That's it!

Oh... Better (Billy Connolly). I'll post a link, but this is definitely NSFW - view at your own discretion.

https://vimeo.com/24340828

Or, the Damon Wayans version - very funny : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNSIeTztnO0

John Meachen
04-21-2015, 04:15 PM
Best of luck Lew.

Duncan Gibbs
04-21-2015, 05:58 PM
That's what friends can do.......share their most intimate events while making light of a very thorough enema!
The enema of my enema is my friend.

The Bigfella
04-21-2015, 06:22 PM
Good luck Lew

Lew Barrett
04-21-2015, 06:54 PM
I just got PM'd Lewis Black's routine. Also very funny. Colonoscopy is a hot comedic routine it seems.

Thank you all individually and together for your kind wishes. I am not concerned and expect smooth sailing. A little factoid that is somewhat related follows. Part of Rita's (my old Monk's) lore is that the guy who invented/developed Ex-Lax (for those overseas or who don't remember, the name indicates the purpose of the product....."laxative" as it were) was one of the former owners. He was a prodigious predicted log racer according to the old logs of the boat.

Just thought I should mention that here:)

John of Phoenix
04-22-2015, 11:33 AM
Cute nurse? I had a real hottie for mine.

Try being charming when drugged out of your mind and a four foot tube up your butt. I bet they have some great stories.

paulf
04-22-2015, 11:49 AM
Cute nurse? I had a real hottie for mine.

Try being charming when drugged out of your mind and a four foot tube up your butt. I bet they have some great stories.

And I bet on Nurses night out they retell them with whopping embellishments!

Lew Barrett
04-22-2015, 06:21 PM
Hungry.

ron ll
04-22-2015, 08:14 PM
Hungry.

Have an iced sugar chemical water, artificially banana flavored. :) Those things haven't been within ten miles of a banana so they don't break the rules.

C. Ross
04-22-2015, 09:33 PM
Hang in here Lew!

Duncan Gibbs
04-22-2015, 09:47 PM
Just remember to quote Gloria...

paulf
04-22-2015, 10:21 PM
Comon Lew! you live in Washington! Smoke a joint, just don't eat plane shavings if ya get the munchies!

If ya do add salt! And do 2 more preps!

Lew Barrett
04-22-2015, 11:24 PM
Not hungry anymore. Hunger disappeared after the solution I took a few hours ago. Now it's just making routine tracks to the BR:)

I bought the banana pops on your recommendation Ron. As indicated, banana is just a catchall term, sort of the flavor category they might fit into if you have a creative mind. Oops! Gotta run!

Lew Barrett
04-22-2015, 11:36 PM
I'm back. Paul, I've been abstaining lately. No particular reason, just haven't been much interested in Washington's state herb of late. I've been a fairly inconsistent abuser for most of my life anyway.

bobbys
04-23-2015, 12:29 AM
Put a wet Schemata on Yer forehead and you will feel better

Lew Barrett
04-23-2015, 10:00 PM
The "post op" tangerines were delicious! So were the raspberries and yogurt, the soft boiled eggs and the french bread. Man, was I hungry! No dinner though....I pigged out and won't need to eat again for hours!

I'm OK, but still on the five year plan. Piece of cake. The nurse was good looking.

The Bigfella
04-23-2015, 10:29 PM
Good to hear it Lew.

L.W. Baxter
04-23-2015, 10:47 PM
The "post op" tangerines were delicious! So were the raspberries and yogurt, the soft boiled eggs and the french bread. Man, was I hungry! No dinner though....I pigged out and won't need to eat again for hours!

I'm OK, but still on the five year plan. Piece of cake. The nurse was good looking.

Got to love a woman in scrubs! Good to hear you are in acceptable repair, Lew.

Rum_Pirate
04-24-2015, 01:49 AM
Trust the results are 'normal'. Y>

George Jung
04-24-2015, 06:59 AM
I'se just gotta know, Lew - did they 'find Jimmy'?

Lew Barrett
04-24-2015, 08:31 AM
I'se just gotta know, Lew - did they 'find Jimmy'?

George, if they'd hidden him there, I wouldn't have needed a doctor to tell me it happened!