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View Full Version : My mom had a bit of a spell



Paul Pless
04-12-2015, 11:31 AM
A number of y'all know already.

Last week one of my employees found my mom unconscious and unresponsive. EMT's were called, she was rushed to the hospital. She regained consciousness at the hospital. She was extremely confused, scared, angry, and unable to speak. Her BP when she arrived at the emergency was ~ 210/150! Initially our worst fears were stroke. Fortunately all the tests for a stroke came back negative. She is in her eighties, and had been outside in the garden most of the day - mid eighties and very high humidity. It seems like she had a medication/heat exhaustion/dehydration issue. She regained her ability to speak after about twelve hours and now four days later all of her confusion and physical unbalance and weakness issues seem to be almost all gone. She has been released from the hospital - actually it was getting to the point where she was gonna call a cab and walk out. . .

Anyways she has round the clock support at home between my sister who is staying with her this week and her personal long time maid/housekeeper. I will be going down this week to spell my sister and she and I will rotate shifts out for awhile.

The entire episode scared the hell out of me. I'm extremely grateful to my employee who found her, fortuitously. Its been a pretty stressful several days here, but things appear to be going in the right direction.

I want to thank you all for your kind thoughts and support.

Bruce Taylor
04-12-2015, 11:37 AM
Sorry to hear of it, Paul, but very glad she's OK. Must be hard for you to be so far away.

paulf
04-12-2015, 11:37 AM
Hope your mom continues to recover. It's great she has kids that will stand by her.

John of Phoenix
04-12-2015, 11:37 AM
I want to thank you all for your kind thoughts and support.Anything at all for you, buddy.

Paul Pless
04-12-2015, 11:39 AM
Must be hard for you to be so far away.I've been on the edge of getting in my truck and driving down several times, but since making it to the hospital she has steadily improved; and I will need to be available to spell my sister who lives in Savannah.

Flying Orca
04-12-2015, 11:45 AM
Sorry to hear of this, Paul. Good thoughts to your mum and safe travels.

Ian McColgin
04-12-2015, 11:46 AM
Glad she's on the mend and has good kids.

Jimmy W
04-12-2015, 11:46 AM
Sorry to hear it ,Paul. Best wishes for y'all.

CWSmith
04-12-2015, 11:53 AM
She sounds feisty - that will be good for her. I hope she continues her recovery.

Gerarddm
04-12-2015, 11:58 AM
Good for her, Paul. Sounds like you come from tough genes.

Peerie Maa
04-12-2015, 12:18 PM
Sounds like a febrile fit. My father collapsed that way when a fever caused him to overheat. He was completely out of it until the hospital got his temperature down. Really frightening, but with no after-effects. Upsetting for all concerned, but I expect and hope everything will return to normal.

Garret
04-12-2015, 12:22 PM
Having had to deal with my mom's stroke, I fully understand how scary this sort of thing is. Here's hoping her recovery is quick & full. Good on ya for spelling your sister. Too many families take the caregiver sibling for granted.

leikec
04-12-2015, 12:39 PM
Good thoughts sent to you and yours.

Jeff C

Rich Jones
04-12-2015, 12:41 PM
My siblings and I just went through this with our 90 year old mother. She fell and broke her pelvis. Next day, in the hospital, her heart started going loopy, so they put in a pacemaker. A very energetic and intelligent woman, she lost all her zip and mental capacities for a few weeks from the stress. We all took turns flying down to N.C. to care for her and she's now back almost 100 percent. Scary stuff.
When you do see your Mom, give her a hug from the Bilge! Sounds like she's going to be OK.

JimD
04-12-2015, 01:02 PM
Hope your mom's condition continues to improve, Paul. I'm sure you'll make the most of your visit.

Old Dryfoot
04-12-2015, 01:09 PM
When life delivers these events, it focuses us on those things that really matter, the rest is minutia.

Best wishes, Paul.

Katherine
04-12-2015, 01:21 PM
Paul's grandmother lived to be almost 100. His mother is 80. I figure I have another 20 years issues, lol. I want to help, but it's a fine line between helping and interfering.

P.I. Stazzer-Newt
04-12-2015, 01:26 PM
Worrying tale, but sounds promising.

Best wishes to all concerned.

Chip-skiff
04-12-2015, 01:36 PM
Quite a scare for you all. Hope she continues to improve.

The habits of a lifetime can be hard to shift, but gardening in the heat is something she should avoid. It's cooler around dawn and dusk. She should have a big, light-coloured sun hat. Also one of those wee battery fans that she can use when she feels overheated.

Best wishes to her (and her wayward son).

John Meachen
04-12-2015, 02:05 PM
Must have been a stressful few days for all of you.I hope the situation continues to improve for all of you.

The Bigfella
04-12-2015, 02:10 PM
Best wishes to all concerned. Hope things go well

Lew Barrett
04-12-2015, 03:00 PM
Glad she is improving, Paul.

Rum_Pirate
04-12-2015, 03:16 PM
Glad to learn that she is recovering well.

John B
04-12-2015, 04:24 PM
Scary, but it sounds like y'all have it under control. Good luck and best wishes young fella.

Curtism
04-12-2015, 04:33 PM
That's quite a scare and I'm glad she's come around so well. Best of luck in her recovery.

C. Ross
04-12-2015, 04:46 PM
Glad things look good Paul! Best wishes to your Mom.

S.V. Airlie
04-12-2015, 05:34 PM
Wish her well for me when you go down. Hoping for a good recovery and am glad she has help in Ga. Blood pressure is high but, meds that work are available!

Stiletto
04-12-2015, 06:01 PM
Best wishes from me.

Sky Blue
04-12-2015, 07:39 PM
Best wishes to your family.

seanz
04-12-2015, 07:45 PM
That's a bit freaky. Good that she's recovering well.

Hydration is crucial. Buy her a Camelback. She won't use it but it will inspire her to drink more water from the tap to prove she doesn't need the Camelback.

john welsford
04-12-2015, 08:13 PM
Its a sad time of life for a lot of us, our parents are ageing if not aged, we know that they wont live forever. Our once capable and independent mothers and fathers become less so, need support and care, but there is a fine line between stepping on their toes and making sure they're ok.
I've an ex ma in law who's nearing her end, severe diabetes and not enough nous to manage her meds, her husband is down to about his last couple of marbles and is getting to be very difficult to manage. But she wont put her hand up when she needs help, so Ex, a Nurse, our Daughter who is also a nurse, and I (current first aid cert, no comparison to the other two but I get briefed as to what to watch for) call about every second day.
My own mother is 90, looking after her brother who is also suffering from age related dementia and alzheimers, also gets a visit most days. My two sisters and I dont stay long, but she's aware that we care, that we will help where needed, and that we are there when needed.
She is much comforted by that.

I know quite a few people around my age who are dealing with the same issues, oft compounded by chronic illness. Its a hard time, but I see it as a time when we can give something back for all the time and effort they've put into us.

All the best with that Paul, my sympathies.

John Welsford

TomF
04-12-2015, 08:25 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this, Paul. My prayers are with you and your family.

Rob Hazard
04-12-2015, 08:38 PM
A bunch of us have been through stuff like this. It's never easy, even when it turns out OK. Glad your mom is on the mend.

Steve McMahon
04-12-2015, 09:19 PM
Good luck Paul and Katherine. We are at that stage with my Mom who is in the same town as I am in a nursing home with dementia at 85, and my wife's Mom on the other side of the country in semi assisted living with early signs of dementia in her late 70's.

Robbie 2
04-12-2015, 11:06 PM
Hi....My Mum is 92 and in a home 5 hours drive away so I know you situation.
Mum is starting to have problems we need to deal with too.
So hang in there....we are.

LeeG
04-12-2015, 11:21 PM
I never thought of you being old enough to have a mom in her eighties. Best wishes to all.

Nanoose
04-13-2015, 01:55 AM
So sorry Paul and Kat. I am glad to hear there are good and strong supports for your Mom. You will all be in my prayers. Keep us posted.

Bob Adams
04-13-2015, 05:29 AM
Glad to hear she's on the mend!

skuthorp
04-13-2015, 05:39 AM
A bit scary when your parents get ill, glad she's come through OK Paul.

Tom Hunter
04-13-2015, 05:53 AM
Atul Gawande's "Being Mortal" points out that as we age our sense of pain, thirst, hot and cold grow weaker. She may not have noticed the heat or felt thirsty, just remembering to take a drink of water and a break might help. I'm glad she is recovering, I'll also put in a plug for the book, its excellent for anyone who is either aging or has parents who are getting older.

Tom Wilkinson
04-13-2015, 05:57 AM
Glad she is ok and improving Paul. i had a scare with my mom last summer after a wasp sting. It's an eye opener.

Duncan Gibbs
04-13-2015, 06:40 AM
Best of health to your mum Paul. Distance makes it hard, as I know only too well.

Canoez
04-13-2015, 08:06 AM
Sorry to hear that, Paul. Best wishes for a quick recovery for your mom.

Kevin T
04-13-2015, 01:56 PM
Just saw this. Sorry to hear about your Mom's troubles, but glad to see she is on the mend.

Norman Bernstein
04-13-2015, 02:09 PM
Hope your mom makes a strong recovery, Pless....

Syed
04-13-2015, 02:47 PM
Good wishes, Paul.

bamamick
04-14-2015, 07:35 AM
Prayers for your mom and your family, Paul. My mom lives alone, and it's constantly on my mind about what could happen with her there by herself. But it's the way she wants it, and I am certainly not going to make her do something she doesn't want to do. Not yet, anyway.

Mickey Lake

Paul Pless
04-14-2015, 07:43 AM
Prayers for your mom and your family, Paul. My mom lives alone, and it's constantly on my mind about what could happen with her there by herself. But it's the way she wants it, and I am certainly not going to make her do something she doesn't want to do. Not yet, anyway.

Mickey LakeThank you Mickey. Same here!

The Bigfella
04-14-2015, 08:13 AM
That, gentlemen, is when life gets harder.

My father realised that my mother was suffering from dementia and in his last months took steps to arrange another chap to step into his shoes. Sounds and looks strange writing that, but I'm pretty sure he did it deliberately, knowing that she wouldn't be able to cope. That didn't go to plan and we had to step in. Mum was 300 miles or so from my sister and 360 miles from me. The dementia meant that she couldn't manage her medication... and her doctor, in his 80's was going the same way. Mum was ending up in fairy land... stoned to the eyeballs. We had to take the hard decision - and it was one she didn't support - and pull her out. We got rid of bucketloads of medicines in the process btw.

We initially had Mum with us, but it became unmanageable. We had a hard-to-manage kid and a hard-to-manage Mum. Shopping was a nightmare for Di. "Which one do I go after" and we had to put Mum into managed care. She didn't want it, but it was best for her. It had its "funny" moments, like when she wrote to me asking my permission for me to marry her friend at the hostel. His family were aghast... he being a good Catholic chap. We (privately) pissed ourselves laughing and managed Mum through it.

Believe me, dementia is hard work on the families... as is any decision that has to be taken for your aging parents. Do it with love, do it unflinchingly. There comes a time when you are the person best able to manage their interests. It ain't ever easy.... just do the right thing though. Good luck Paul (and Mickey)

Duncan Gibbs
04-14-2015, 08:19 AM
That, gentlemen, is when life gets harder.

My father realised that my mother was suffering from dementia and in his last months took steps to arrange another chap to step into his shoes. Sounds and looks strange writing that, but I'm pretty sure he did it deliberately, knowing that she wouldn't be able to cope. That didn't go to plan and we had to step in. Mum was 300 miles or so from my sister and 360 miles from me. The dementia meant that she couldn't manage her medication... and her doctor, in his 80's was going the same way. Mum was ending up in fairy land... stoned to the eyeballs. We had to take the hard decision - and it was one she didn't support - and pull her out. We got rid of bucketloads of medicines in the process btw.

We initially had Mum with us, but it became unmanageable. We had a hard-to-manage kid and a hard-to-manage Mum. Shopping was a nightmare for Di. "Which one do I go after" and we had to put Mum into managed care. She didn't want it, but it was best for her. It had its "funny" moments, like when she wrote to me asking my permission for me to marry her friend at the hostel. His family were aghast... he being a good Catholic chap. We (privately) pissed ourselves laughing and managed Mum through it.

Believe me, dementia is hard work on the families... as is any decision that has to be taken for your aging parents. Do it with love, do it unflinchingly. There comes a time when you are the person best able to manage their interests. It ain't ever easy.... just do the right thing though. Good luck Paul (and Mickey)
A great post Ian. I'm not sure it's clear from Paul's post that his mum's mental agility has gone, but was only momentarily impaired by the spell.

We had the same issues when SWIMPAL's Gran went downhill. Difficult doesn't begin to describe it.

Katherine
04-14-2015, 08:25 AM
While I do not always agree with her, my MIL has all her mental faculties. Last week was a temporary blip.

Sky Blue
04-14-2015, 08:35 AM
We are dealing with this right now in my family. My mother's husband (folks are divorced) died in September. My mother is disabled and is declining mentally and came to live with us, with her two dogs and one cat. Suddenly we had 4 people, 3 dogs and 4 cats living in a small 3 bedroom ranch house. Six months now.

She will not discuss assisted living or managed care, even though it seems to me such an arrangement would be preserve her independence and dignity (such as it is) more than the current arrangement.

Several weeks ago she went to visit her brother-in-law and his family for an extended stay to give us a break but she has gone steadily downhill while there, to the point that she simply isn't functioning in any meaningful way. We need to get her out of there but he lives 500 miles away and we cannot just pick up and retrieve her on a moments notice. Her situation has wore us out and has wore out the in-laws. Now she is going to stay with my sister when we are able to retrieve her, but I am afraid the general pattern will continue, with the tough decisions still ahead.

In the last six months or so I have lost my father, my mother's husband, and have had my disabled mother come live with my family. It has been a hell of a year.

switters
04-14-2015, 09:17 AM
positive thoughts,

Paul Pless
04-23-2015, 06:26 PM
Thank you all for your kindness and good wishes, thoughts, and prayers.

I just returned from the doctor with my mom. He declared her recovered and that she could resume all normal activities with a few caveats. First, before she drives on her own, I am to give her a driving test. LOL. I can't wait, my mom is the absolute worst back seat driver in the world. Second, she will always be more susceptible to heat exhaustion, heat stroke. Once you've suffered from this once at her age further cases are likely if you don't exercise caution. Lastly, the doctor would like to review her medications more often. So all in all very good news. She's happy, I'm pretty happy.

Again thank you, and go hug the people that you love.

TomF
04-23-2015, 06:27 PM
Very Fine News, Mr. Plessner.

Garret
04-23-2015, 06:31 PM
Excellent!

So - you get your really long arms from your mom? Enjoy the "test".....

S/V Laura Ellen
04-23-2015, 06:36 PM
Great news, thanks for letting us know.

John B
04-23-2015, 07:08 PM
Good job ! great news.

Canoez
04-23-2015, 07:10 PM
Again thank you, and go hug the people that you love.

Better words have rarely been written here. Y>

JimD
04-23-2015, 07:31 PM
Y>Y>

PS - Maybe rent a Camaro for the driving test. You may as well make the most of it :D

http://www.gtcarreviews.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/69camaro_burnout.jpg

McMike
04-23-2015, 07:44 PM
Glad it was nothing horrible. Sending out some good McMike juju anyway.

The Bigfella
04-23-2015, 09:13 PM
Good to hear.

Wish her well from the Middle East.

C. Ross
04-23-2015, 09:24 PM
Good news!

Lew Barrett
04-23-2015, 11:58 PM
Excellent.

Rum_Pirate
04-24-2015, 01:46 AM
We are dealing with this right now in my family. My mother's husband (folks are divorced) died in September. My mother is disabled and is declining mentally and came to live with us, with her two dogs and one cat. Suddenly we had 4 people, 3 dogs and 4 cats living in a small 3 bedroom ranch house. Six months now.

She will not discuss assisted living or managed care, even though it seems to me such an arrangement would be preserve her independence and dignity (such as it is) more than the current arrangement.

Several weeks ago she went to visit her brother-in-law and his family for an extended stay to give us a break but she has gone steadily downhill while there, to the point that she simply isn't functioning in any meaningful way. We need to get her out of there but he lives 500 miles away and we cannot just pick up and retrieve her on a moments notice. Her situation has wore us out and has wore out the in-laws. Now she is going to stay with my sister when we are able to retrieve her, but I am afraid the general pattern will continue, with the tough decisions still ahead.

In the last six months or so I have lost my father, my mother's husband, and have had my disabled mother come live with my family. It has been a hell of a year.

Glad that all the family is helping. It is very difficult to an older relative's independence and dignity at one's own home.
I congratulate you and your family for what you have done to date.
My mother wanted to die at home. The care required unfortunately was not feasible. Mum lasted 5 months in a care home, but must say that she was basically bedridden due to a stroke(s) and a lung embolism. Contacted pneumonia.

Spin_Drift
04-24-2015, 02:45 AM
So very glad to hear she has recovered and is back to normal.

(I'm sorry to have missed this thread before.)

Concordia...41
04-24-2015, 04:05 AM
Like Spin I also missed the thread before, so read it end to end to be sure all the news was good.

John in post #33 hits it on the head as far as this being our time to give back a small fraction of the time and effort that was invested in us :)

And yes, my mom - after a rapid decline in the last couple of years is a bed-ridden stroke victim and now lives with me. I have help six days a week as I still work full time, but man what a ride!!! :(

To those of you with folks that are still ok and still getting around, maybe take some time to enjoy them more. It is quite certainly a downhill journey to the inevitable. :(

Paul Pless
04-24-2015, 06:37 AM
Thoughts to you and your mom Margo. We miss you here, like in the old days.

Peerie Maa
04-24-2015, 07:35 AM
Good to hear Paul :D

Lew Barrett
04-24-2015, 09:14 AM
Thoughts to you and your mom Margo. We miss you here, like in the old days.

Amen.