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David G
09-02-2014, 11:49 AM
As posted last night in the Pub. This list covers only the key positions - which, as I'm sure you will all understand - are occupied by Pubsters. With any luck - I'll be able to post the rest of the list this evening.


Ladies, Gentlemen, and all the rest of you mob --

This is going to be an interesting month. I don't plan on doing much - but I am going to delegate certain key tasks, responsibilities, and inspirational activities to my Official BROTM Cabinet. The Plum positions will be awarded to Pub denizens - in recognition of the fact that if I didn't do so, y'all would give me more sh!t than even I could handle. As an expert delegator... I do not plan on laying out a program for each of your areas of responsibility. I expect you to view this as an opportunity to shine. Show us what you got. Be creative. If you have questions, my door is always open - and bad advice is always on tap.

So here's the list. If I've inadvertently forgotten anyone - feel free to wave your hand. There are a lot more positions than warm bodies. In fact, I've assigned multiple areas of responsibility to those of you who have, in the past, exhibited the right attitude.

Tulsy -- Keeper of the Keys - Liquor Cabinet Division; Tamale Topkick; Inspirational Luminary to One and All

TDG -- Lead Shepherd - Stubborn Ol' Phart Division

Lefty -- Chief Quality Control Inspector - Bikini Division; Governor of Grump

Glen -- Barmaid Wrangler; Grand Nabob of Naps; Junior Pig-Wrassler

Jimmy -- Minister of MUSIC!!!

Fredz -- Keeper of the Keys -- Porn Collection Division; Rector of Rhum

seanz -- Dean of Dolphins; Conductor of Cephalopods

Curtism -- Head Groundskeeper (some might not know how important this position is - I expect great things)

DMKIA -- Principal Baker; Night Watchman

changeng -- Co-directors of the Archive: real & imaginary

JDolby -- Senior Psychological Consultant; Avatar of Angst

purri -- Headmaster: Educational Oddities Institute

JoP -- Lead Pilot; Chief of Covert Operations - RWW Division

Hwy -- Lion of Language

Tx Doug -- Lead Taster - Liquor Division

switters -- Supt. of Snowballs

BigFella -- Minister of Covert Operations - Travel Division. (I have specific instructions for you: let no one know of your location or even your existence; maintain radio silence; report to me, and only to me, at the end of the month; otherwise - just act casual - and attract NO attention)

stevebaby -- Admiral of the Absinthe Fleet; Doyenne of the Dungeon

Chip-skiff -- Harbinger of Hellaciousness (I'm counting on you!!!)

hokiefan -- Overseer of Odds - College Football Division

Keith -- Chieftain of Charts

S.V. Airlie
09-02-2014, 11:54 AM
Yup PUB favorites!

Keith Wilson
09-02-2014, 12:08 PM
Conductor of Cephalopods - now that's a title!

http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/t1.0-0/c0.1.960.354/s720x720/1654189_654426014616233_91340999_n.jpg

David G
09-02-2014, 12:10 PM
Keith - I hope you took note of your own title, and will formulate a strategy with which to best employ this critical tool. I'll leave the strategy to you... surgical strikes, carpet bombing, or some combo as the circumstances suggest.

John of Phoenix
09-02-2014, 12:12 PM
Conductor of Cephalopods - now that's a title!

http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/t1.0-0/c0.1.960.354/s720x720/1654189_654426014616233_91340999_n.jpg
Makes herding cats sound like a breeze.

Chip-skiff
09-02-2014, 01:13 PM
Harbinger of Hellaciousness?

No Rum? No Rivers?

Guess I'll stand up and do my job. I've got a few ideas. . .

https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5264/5642706355_43df097c7f_z.jpg

Bobby of Tulsa
09-02-2014, 01:15 PM
Dang Chip, that looks like a fun place.:):)

Chip-skiff
09-02-2014, 01:18 PM
Dang Chip, that looks like a fun place.:):)

That's just the front gate. It gets worse farther along.

isla
09-02-2014, 01:21 PM
Time to get dressed up in my Guy Fawkes outfit again. Now where did I put that box of matches?

TomF
09-02-2014, 04:00 PM
Shocked, I am. Shocked, appalled, and deeply hurt by this exclusive regime that didn't think to appoint ME to anything dire.

('Course, it was a mark of wisdom and pretty good taste too. :))

David G
09-02-2014, 04:12 PM
What a lot of pushy buggers! <G> Go back and read the OP. I specifically stated that more would be named later. Not everyone, mind you, but a select few.

S.V. Airlie
09-02-2014, 04:15 PM
What a lot of pushy buggers! <G> Go back and read the OP. I specifically stated that more would be named later. Not everyone, mind you, but a select few.Of course a select fw!

John of Phoenix
09-02-2014, 04:18 PM
Of course a select f[e]w!Not every stick is "cabinet grade" lumber.

Bobby of Tulsa
09-02-2014, 04:20 PM
Of course a select fw!Damn,David, give Jamie a post, hell he can help me with the keys.

S.V. Airlie
09-02-2014, 04:25 PM
Damn,David, give Jamie a post, hell he can help me with the keys.I jus need a new keyboard! Basically, it still works and actually, works fine in areas other than the bilge. Office as an example, works fine! Kinda like the Byob thread!

The Bigfella
09-02-2014, 04:35 PM
Not every stick is "cabinet grade" lumber.

Indeed, only Jimbo and I actually made Minister. The Hoi Pollock pffftt

S.V. Airlie
09-02-2014, 04:37 PM
Why Doug are you educated enough or does Carter have to read to you?:)

Curtism
09-02-2014, 04:44 PM
As the founder of FOFF (Foundation of Former Frontrunners) I feel it's my sworn duty to alert some of youn's that Mr G is but another of the long lineage of seat holders elected by the Publican voting block . . . and future efforts to resist the movement will be futile.

Consider yourselves warned.

Bobby of Tulsa
09-02-2014, 05:16 PM
An educated post, please..... What means this? Splain yourself yankee or arm yourself.

changeng
09-02-2014, 05:23 PM
You forgot Skipper and Botebum.
Our "Nelson Mandelas" Inspirational incarcerated freedom fighters...(or terrorists :D)

David G
09-02-2014, 05:33 PM
Indeed, only Jimbo and I actually made Minister. The Hoi Pollock pffftt

You, sir, should have embarked by now. Are you unable to fulfill the duties assigned? Let me know, and I will dragoon.... errrr... that is... 'recruit' another.

David G
09-02-2014, 05:36 PM
Damn,David, give Jamie a post, hell he can help me with the keys.

I'm sorry... I will have plenty of work to do in this deal. I'm not gonna waste time deciphering (let's be polite... and call it "Varmintish")

David G
09-02-2014, 05:38 PM
You forgot Skipper and Botebum.
Our "Nelson Mandelas" Inspirational incarcerated freedom fighters...(or terrorists :D)

And several others. But I did not forget them. I just realized that their capabilities here would be severely limited by the strictures placed upon them by the management. Sadly. We will miss the contributions of Capt. Blight, B'bom, and the PinkPromPrincess of the Bilge!

Chip-skiff
09-02-2014, 06:01 PM
In light of his salient abilities and talents in the realm of linguistic endeavour, I hereby nominate Jamie for the honourable post of Minister of Inscrutable Communication.

Every government needs ay least one. :d

Domesticated_Mr. Know It All
09-02-2014, 06:40 PM
As the founder of FOFF (Foundation of Former Frontrunners) I feel it's my sworn duty to alert some of youn's that Mr G is but another of the long lineage of seat holders elected by the Publican voting block . . . and future efforts to resist the movement will be futile.

Consider yourselves warned.



Publican Voting Block sounds badass Curtis.
Two brownies for you dude.





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsSaObejUuo

Nanoose
09-02-2014, 06:52 PM
Harumph. No women on that cabinet. Old boys' network again.

David G
09-02-2014, 07:00 PM
Harumph. No women on that cabinet. Old boys' network again.

Well... that's not quite right... There is a woman, or three, on the initial list. But you may have a point about under-representation. Of course this is the interwebs - I have very little by way of proof as to the gender of any I've named.

But, nonetheless, I have nothing at all against the notion of Majority (women ARE 51%, are they not?) Set-asides. If you'd like to forward fotos and/or videos that prove unequivocally you're of the female persuasion... I'll bump your name to the top of the list for the next round of appointments! <G>

The Bigfella
09-02-2014, 07:28 PM
Harumph. No women on that cabinet. Old boys' network again.


Um... Astrid's there.

The Bigfella
09-02-2014, 07:29 PM
.

This is why I voted for big fella, he would have had woman and trannies right up there.

I have some suspicions as to who they (the trannies) might be... but I'll leave that for them to declare.

Nanoose
09-02-2014, 07:30 PM
Um... Astrid's there.
Thanks; didn't see an 'Astrid.'

The Bigfella
09-02-2014, 07:43 PM
Thanks; didn't see an 'Astrid.'

Astrid is the only name that HWMBO will let me use for a particular incognito forumite who is on a very short leash.... its one of her past aliases used for an illegitimate return to a forum she was banned from for life. Funnily enough... they just posted an image of her over there :D. I think she's up to 3 here.

Domesticated_Mr. Know It All
09-02-2014, 08:35 PM
Joan's on the list.(JDolby)
Tequila Delivery Girl too.

David G
09-02-2014, 09:05 PM
Well, I opened the porn collection cabinet, and matched that to the rum cabinet, and came up with this:
http://www.luxuryspirits.es/332-629-thickbox/ron-de-jeremy-spiced-rum.jpg

I just KNEW I could count on your sense of humor!!

David G
09-02-2014, 10:25 PM
OK... here's the deal.

I had no trouble coming up with suitable Cabinet positions for the Pub denizens.

But... after 3 days of agonizing, writing, editing, modifications, revisions, throwing the whole mess out and staring over, having another beer, having yet another beer, switching to rum, trying yet another rum... and listening the the relentless critiques from my closest advisers... I have given up on the idea of coming up with Phase II of the BROTM September Cabinet on my own.

So I'm throwing it open for nominations. If anyone has a notion for a good role for some other Bilge Rat... or even for themselves... I would welcome your nominations. I may veto some... but I'm open to all.

Fire away - and keep it clean (yeah... I'm lookin' at YOU Ms. Drift!!!). <G>

The Bigfella
09-02-2014, 10:54 PM
OK... here's the deal.

I had no trouble coming up with suitable Cabinet positions for the Pub denizens.

But... after 3 days of agonizing, writing, editing, modifications, revisions, throwing the whole mess out and staring over, having another beer, having yet another beer, switching to rum, trying yet another rum... and listening the the relentless critiques from my closest advisers... I have given up on the idea of coming up with Phase II of the BROTM September Cabinet on my own.

So I'm throwing it open for nominations. If anyone has a notion for a good role for some other Bilge Rat... or even for themselves... I would welcome your nominations. I may veto some... but I'm open to all.

Fire away - and keep it clean (yeah... I'm lookin' at YOU Ms. Drift!!!). <G>

I want the title "Le Moulin à Silence Opérateur" added to my post, please

TDGirl
09-02-2014, 11:11 PM
TDG -- Lead Shepherd - Stubborn Ol' Phart Division


I'm going to have to think about this. Dealing with one of these is like banging my head against a brick wall. Now you are proposing I deal with more than one!?! Hmmm ... I don't think anyone else in the world could possibly be as stubborn as he who shall remain nameless. So, I could probably handle it. Occasionally, I even get him to take my advice :d.

David G
09-02-2014, 11:28 PM
I'm going to have to think about this. Dealing with one of these is like banging my head against a brick wall. Now you are proposing I deal with more than one!?! Hmmm ... I don't think anyone else in the world could possibly be as stubborn as he who shall remain nameless. So, I could probably handle it. Occasionally, I even get him to take my advice :d.

What you do with the position is entirely up to you. When I made the appointment - I sorta figgered you'd spend most of your budget, manpower, and skull-sweat dealing with one particularly cantdankerous ol' 'shall-remain-nameless Phart. If you have any energy left over for Lefty or Glen... that's just gravy on the biscuit!! <G>

The Bigfella
09-02-2014, 11:31 PM
I think you owe bobbbys a post. How about 'Minister of Shingles and Tar'?

Fred.... stop behaving like a worm and grow up

TDGirl
09-02-2014, 11:37 PM
Thank you FredZ, that made me smile!

Domesticated_Mr. Know It All
09-02-2014, 11:50 PM
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQqVa5woAbfoqsW-pAU5dNYT30HrwYuSCfYSSGg33OWzeMl3ASXwA

purri
09-02-2014, 11:59 PM
How's the RDS paranoia going?


Astrid is the only name that HWMBO will let me use for a particular incognito forumite who is on a very short leash.... its one of her past aliases used for an illegitimate return to a forum she was banned from for life. Funnily enough... they just posted an image of her over there :D. I think she's up to 3 here.

seanz
09-03-2014, 12:06 AM
Conductor of Cephalopods - now that's a title!

http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/t1.0-0/c0.1.960.354/s720x720/1654189_654426014616233_91340999_n.jpg


I was hoping for Commissar of Cetaceans too...........but I've got a lot on my plate already.

The Bigfella
09-03-2014, 12:25 AM
It's a joke, you dimwit. bobbys is (or was) a roofer – shingles and tar are roofing materials. Get it?
David named me 'Rector of Rhum'. Get it? Are you really that dense?
Have you been guzzling that cheap Argentine wine, or did a dingo eat your sense of humor?

And don't tell me to grow up, you twit.

If bobbys finds my post offensive, I'll pull it, but I think he can take a joke. And David did promise him an appointment.

http://images.rapgenius.com/10b6f5cacd3462fbe02c8c8a75b4a035.500x360x1.jpg

David G
09-03-2014, 12:25 AM
It's a joke, you dimwit. bobbys is (or was) a roofer – shingles and tar are roofing materials. Get it?
David named me 'Rector of Rhum'. Get it? Are you really that dense?
Have you been guzzling that cheap Argentine wine, or did a dingo eat your sense of humor?

And don't tell me to grow up, you twit.

If bobbys finds my post offensive, I'll pull it, but I think he can take a joke. And David did promise him an appointment.

Did not! And if I did... I was too drunk at the time to be taken seriously. In fact... am I EVER taken seriously? Gord, I hope not!! The only appointment that dingbat gets is the earliest one available with the staff shrink!!!

Rum_Pirate
09-03-2014, 12:28 AM
It's a joke, you dimwit. bobbys is (or was) a roofer – shingles and tar are roofing materials. Get it?
David named me 'Rector of Rhum'. Get it? Are you really that dense?
Have you been guzzling that cheap Argentine wine, or did a dingo eat your sense of humor?

And don't tell me to grow up, you twit.

If bobbys finds my post offensive, I'll pull it, but I think he can take a joke. And David did promise him an appointment.


Fred, Fred, don't you know that very few have a sense of humor on this site.

If you must make a joke, one should at least have the way withal to put 'Humor Advisory explanatory notification statement' at the bottom of your post.

If you don't do that many will not understand that it is meant as a joke.

The Bigfella
09-03-2014, 12:43 AM
Fred, Fred, don't you know that very few have a sense of humor on this site.

If you must make a joke, one should at least have the way withal to put 'Humor Advisory explanatory notification statement' at the bottom of your post.

If you don't do that many will not understand that it is meant as a joke.

Fred's the first one to blow a fuse when anyone directs "humour" in his direction. Just ask him how his hairdressing's going

The Bigfella
09-03-2014, 12:52 AM
Oh, Fred.... the quotes are because we spelz it different to you... and you rarely get the humour. I was honouring you

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f62/danetweedale/27a623ab.jpg

The Bigfella
09-03-2014, 01:03 AM
Oh, I knew what the hairdressing crack was about. A fine example of your moronic 'humour'. I can do just fine without you 'honouring' me.
Is this another example of your 'humour'? I admit I don't get it.



I've really had about enough of you. Goodbye.

Yeah... wander off and call another forumite a bowel movement and pretend it was funny. Bye. Don't slam the door on the way out.

Chip-skiff
09-03-2014, 01:15 AM
As Harbinger of Hellaciousness, I have the sacred duty to inflict punishment, suffering, and retribution on transgressors, varlets, cutpurses, tatterdemalions, scalawags, touts, and other evildoers.

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/--sADAexrWyo/UxEGkrL5TWI/AAAAAAAAFPI/vTrWuzkQ_PQ/s401/wolfchomp.jpg

Of course we're all very nice people who don't insult our mates. Right?

The Bigfella
09-03-2014, 01:22 AM
As Harbinger of Hellaciousness, I have the sacred duty to inflict punishment, suffering, and retribution on transgressors, varlets, cutpurses, tatterdemalions, scalawags, touts, and other evildoers.

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/--sADAexrWyo/UxEGkrL5TWI/AAAAAAAAFPI/vTrWuzkQ_PQ/s401/wolfchomp.jpg

Of course we're all very nice people who don't insult our mates. Right?

Indeed

I look forward to seeing Fred apologise to bobbys

Chip-skiff
09-03-2014, 01:25 AM
Indeed

I look forward to seeing Fred apologise to bobbys

Apologies?

Not my job. I do biting, clawing, howling, flames, etc.

The Bigfella
09-03-2014, 01:50 AM
Apologies?

Not my job. I do biting, clawing, howling, flames, etc.

Your name Fred?

Chip-skiff
09-03-2014, 01:55 AM
Your name Fred?

If your name's Percy, mine's Fred.

seanz
09-03-2014, 02:09 AM
This is going well.

changeng
09-03-2014, 02:18 AM
Eng wants to be OH&S rep.

Just say NO :D

changeng
09-03-2014, 02:38 AM
Syed- Cultural attache Lahore
Peerie Ma -Ditto UK
Stazzer Ditto Wales
Isla... well you get the Idea.

Responsibilities.... well what a cultural attache does...innit?

purri
09-03-2014, 03:44 AM
"Headmaster of Educational" etc.

Wai palya pulka.

But how do I fulfill that most? esteemed title?

isla
09-03-2014, 04:06 AM
Damn,David, give Jamie a post, hell he can help me with the keys.Yeah, if you want LOTS of scratches around the keyhole.

Peerie Maa
09-03-2014, 05:03 AM
Syed- Cultural attache LahorePeerie Ma -Ditto UKStazzer Ditto WalesIsla... well you get the Idea.Responsibilities.... well what a cultural attache does...innit?I'll take my lead from Sir Les Patterson (http://sirlespatterson.com/).

isla
09-03-2014, 05:42 AM
Look, this isn't good enough. Last night the grounds were infiltrated by a pack of marauding dolphins, and we've run out of pies, so seanz, Curtism and DMKIA need to get their acts together.

changeng
09-03-2014, 06:27 AM
"Headmaster of Educational" etc.

Wai palya pulka.

But how do I fulfill that most? esteemed title?

purri -- Headmaster: Educational Oddities Institute

I think that means you're the man with the flat tassly hat, cane and black robe. Think Snape :D (I like Snape :D)

S.V. Airlie
09-03-2014, 06:29 AM
Yeah, if you want LOTS of scratches around the keyhole.Heck, I've got a skeleton Key and bunch of picks. No problem!

purri
09-03-2014, 07:05 AM
I'm not a Shriner nor a Mason. Forse voi e participante...
Did someone say "tassly hat"??http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ifp15bOCfKc/UkcPoVoVLOI/AAAAAAAABkQ/v37g9XHkWss/s1600/akbar-e-jeff6.gif

isla
09-03-2014, 08:38 AM
Syed- Cultural attache Lahore
Peerie Ma -Ditto UK
Stazzer Ditto Wales
Isla... well you get the Idea.

Responsibilities.... well what a cultural attache does...innit?So I've been nominated as "well you get the idea". I reckon I could do something with that. But cultural attache for Scotland might suit me better. I could report on Scottish affairs. For instance, I could tell you about Ewan McGregor's dirty weekend with Lady Gaga. There were beef steaks involved, and horseradish, but I can't say any more unless I get diplomatic immunity.

changeng
09-03-2014, 09:15 AM
So I've been nominated as "well you get the idea". I reckon I could do something with that. But cultural attache for Scotland might suit me better. I could report on Scottish affairs. For instance, I could tell you about Ewan McGregor's dirty weekend with Lady Gaga. There were beef steaks involved, and horseradish, but I can't say any more unless I get diplomatic immunity.

He ate her dress ??

Yea we like scottish humor and whisky, and well....Andy Stewart...?? :D

David G
09-03-2014, 09:19 AM
Well, looky here.

Ahhhh... I see. The difference between offered and promised is where the confusion lies. I did offer him the position. He refused. No promise, however, was ever made. Though... I think at one point I did promise to steal the next chinook salmon that went into his refrigerator.

David G
09-03-2014, 09:21 AM
Eng wants to be OH&S rep.

Just say NO :D

Ummmm... can I ask first, what's an OH&S??? Should I ask?

David G
09-03-2014, 09:22 AM
Syed- Cultural attache Lahore
Peerie Ma -Ditto UK
Stazzer Ditto Wales
Isla... well you get the Idea.

Responsibilities.... well what a cultural attache does...innit?

So ordered. Any more?

David G
09-03-2014, 09:24 AM
"Headmaster of Educational" etc.

Wai palya pulka.

But how do I fulfill that most? esteemed title?

That's entirely up to you. I don't meddle, muddle, or micromanage my Ministers, Headmasters, etc. Make it good, though... as beheadings have most decidedly not been ruled out as a transition tool. Did you hear that, you lot?!?!?!?!?

isla
09-03-2014, 09:29 AM
He ate her dress ?? :DWell maybe bits of it |;)

David G
09-03-2014, 09:30 AM
Look, this isn't good enough. Last night the grounds were infiltrated by a pack of marauding dolphins, and we've run out of pies, so seanz, Curtism and DMKIA need to get their acts together.

Well... there is bound to be a certain amount of disruption during any change in administration. Give them time. Though the dolphin thing IS a bit worrisome - esp. as the rumours have them riding wolves and various crustaceans...

Ah, well... I'm sure it'll all work out.

Oh... another nomination has come in over the transom. Capt. Blight has nominated himself for the post of President of Calendars (in absentia). I've tentatively OK'd the appointment... but perhaps someone can explain to me what a President of Calendars does, exactly?

Ah well... I'm sure it'll all work out.

David G
09-03-2014, 09:31 AM
I'll take my lead from Sir Les Patterson (http://sirlespatterson.com/).

I would expect nothing less.

David G
09-03-2014, 09:33 AM
So I've been nominated as "well you get the idea". I reckon I could do something with that. But cultural attache for Scotland might suit me better. I could report on Scottish affairs. For instance, I could tell you about Ewan McGregor's dirty weekend with Lady Gaga. There were beef steaks involved, and horseradish, but I can't say any more unless I get diplomatic immunity.

Immunity Granted - Retroactively and Radioactively!!

isla
09-03-2014, 09:47 AM
Immunity Granted - Retroactively and Radioactively!!I'll need a Gaga counter.

David G
09-03-2014, 07:24 PM
Occupational Health & Safety. Sounds like a scheme to unionize the barmaids. http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk110/fredz859/WoodenBoat/forum/eek.gifhttp://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk110/fredz859/WoodenBoat/forum/eek.gif

I have always believed Unions with barmaids to be a very good idea. While it hasn't always worked out well in retrospect... it's a good starting move. Why... my own sweetie... all 5'0" of her (so she claims)... worked as a barmaid for a bit. As it was a small bar, she was also the bar manager, and the bouncer. It wasn't a terribly rough bar... but it had its moments. And the regulars knew better than to argue with her when she 86'd someone... esp. with that old table leg dangling from her dainty little paw.

S.V. Airlie
09-03-2014, 08:12 PM
So ordered. Any more?Spin. BROTM's Publicity Dircetor! Oh right not an inhabitant of the Pub! Never mind!

S.V. Airlie
09-03-2014, 08:46 PM
As far as I can see, she doesn't inhabit the pub. As one posted, cabinet members come from the pub. Can't understand why I have to explain such things to you. Why don't you read the previous posts? If you did, you'd get the drift!

Chip-skiff
09-03-2014, 11:39 PM
As far as I can see, she doesn't inhabit the pub.

She shows up now and then with a cake or other sweets. Good company, Spinner.

David G
09-04-2014, 11:26 AM
Just a bump to remind some of you what position you've been appointed to. Some have latched on and charged ahead like their hair is on fire. The ones who haven't lurched into action yet... well, I imagine you're still formulating a strategy, eh?

Keith Wilson
09-04-2014, 11:29 AM
I'm guided by the principle: "Don't do stupid sh!t". :D

John of Phoenix
09-04-2014, 11:37 AM
I'm guided by the principle: "Don't do stupid sh!t". :DWe outsource that to reds.

TomF
09-04-2014, 11:40 AM
We outsource that to reds.Good leadership is all about recognizing competency, and defining centers of excellence ...

David G
09-04-2014, 11:40 AM
I'm guided by the principle: "Don't do stupid sh!t". :D

I don't mind if members of my Cabinet do the occasional bit of stupid sh!t. We're all human, after all. Just don't BECOME a stupid sh!t. If you've any doubt, I can provide specific names for you to eschew emulating...

Hwyl
09-10-2014, 07:00 AM
I only just found out I'd been appointed. I'll have to masticate for a day or two.

David G
09-10-2014, 09:13 AM
I only just found out I'd been appointed. I'll have to masticate for a day or two.

You might also want to cogitate and prestidigitate...

David G
09-13-2014, 12:17 PM
We're approaching the halfway marker of my reluctant administration. I named a boatload of Cabinet officials. Some of you have been performing your duties admirably. Some seem to have wandered off somewhere to admire the flowers, pick the happy mushrooms, and dally with each other and any likely strangers that wander by.

For those of you who have yet to seize the opportunity that I have laid before you... let me offer an example of what is possible. I give you... isla:

http://forum.woodenboat.com/showthread.php?181845-Scottish-Affairs

David G
09-13-2014, 02:02 PM
Okey you crusty ol' Okie... don't you DARE denigrate my whining skills. I've been taking Whining Lessons from bbbbbbbys... and I think I'm beginning to get the hang of it. OF course - I'll never come close to his skills, but one has to start somewhere, eh?

isla
09-13-2014, 06:37 PM
Not my fault. You put me in charge of the porn collection. Do you have any idea how extensive that collection is? I've been spending most of my free time reviewing, sorting, and cataloging that stuff.
It's severely cut into my rum tasting duties. :mad:So is this the beginning of the end for the coalition government? Is the cabinet going to be like your congress, and just sit around whining, and doing sweet FA?

Hwyl
09-13-2014, 06:40 PM
Sweet FA is my forte, I can do nothing because BROTM spelled my name incorrectly. (Donn's rule)

isla
09-13-2014, 07:07 PM
Hey, have you been in the BYOB? The liquor cabinet is open and drinks are free. I be doin my job.:):):)The way I see it is, BYOB is like a mysterious back room in the darkest corner of the bilge, where only those who are initiated into the inner circle hang out and run the government. Sort of like a virtual Sons of St. Tammany. I hear that sometimes people go in and never come out. So you keep on dishing out your free Rohypnol cocktails and Mickey Finns, and I'll stay out here with a nice pint of Guinness.

David G
09-13-2014, 07:49 PM
Not my fault. You put me in charge of the porn collection. Do you have any idea how extensive that collection is? I've been spending most of my free time reviewing, sorting, and cataloging that stuff.
It's severely cut into my rum tasting duties. :mad:

Trust me... if you do enough rum tasting... the cataloging will take care of itself. Voiler... two birds with one stoned.

David G
09-13-2014, 07:50 PM
So is this the beginning of the end for the coalition government? Is the cabinet going to be like your congress, and just sit around whining, and doing sweet FA?

Oh... I'm sure Fredz will learn to prioritize and multitask just fine. Swiggin' and Swivin' are not mutually exclusive.

David G
09-13-2014, 07:51 PM
Sweet FA is my forte, I can do nothing because BROTM spelled my name incorrectly. (Donn's rule)

Donn has no role in this administration. We have no room for pedants... esp. ignorant pedants. Shake it off!

Hwyl
09-13-2014, 08:07 PM
OK try this for size, I'm sure others will post it in separate threads.

From the Washington post.
[

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when
you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9 . Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12 .Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

David G
09-13-2014, 08:10 PM
A fine effort. It deserves its own thread!!

oznabrag
12-30-2014, 08:30 PM
Look, this isn't good enough. Last night the grounds were infiltrated by a pack of marauding dolphins, and we've run out of pies, so seanz, Curtism and DMKIA need to get their acts together.

Marauding dolphins?

Is that anything like immoral porpoises?