BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

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  • Curtism
    Treadin' Trodden Trails
    • Jul 2010
    • 9118

    BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

    As we approach the midway point of my term as Rat of the month of March I'm compelled to rise up on my hind legs and speak to the masses, lest I be remembered as the one who spent the month loafing, libating and bull-shooting at Lefty's Pub. That this administration has yet to issue an official statement thus far should not be construed as disregard for the importance of the office, quite the contrary. My appointed Lieutenant BROTM (LBR, Red Furrari) and I, along with my staff of advisers (the ever-present voices in my head) have been working furiously to formulate a plan to ensure that this remains a beneficial, happy place for everyone.

    Following years of studies, polls, inquiries, committee debates and in depth research, it's the finding of this office that our forum and it's inhabitants are fine just as they are. Any efforts on our part to significantly alter the structure or functions of this fine group would be regrettable, a squandering of precious energy resources which could be better spent towards other endeavors. However, this should not be taken to mean my administration intends to sit idly by and not at least attempt to leave it's mark in some small way.

    In the weeks to come this office will be issuing press releases regarding public service announcements, suggestions for promoting improved mental and physical well being, a recommended thread reading list along with an edict or three. As part of an ongoing probe into the collective mind, I will likely call on the varied talents contained within this group to answer a few questions. Worry not though, considering your lengthy record of being virtually unstumpable, particularly when you put your heads together, it certainly won't be anything you folks can't address.

    In closing I'd like to express my thanks, not only to the 15 lunatics who trusted their instincts enough to cast a vote for me, but also for the ones who elected not to throw their shoes my way, for I am their Rat as well.

    You're a great bunch, don't ever change.

    As you were.

    Curtis
    ______________

    Life is short, play with your cougar.
  • Bobby of Tulsa
    Senior Member
    • Jul 2000
    • 40538

    #2
    Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

    Long Live the BROTMOM!
    "para todo mal, mezcal, y para todo bien tambiƩn" (for everything bad, mezcal, and for everything good, as well.)

    Comment

    • Rum_Pirate
      Banned
      • Apr 2007
      • 22881

      #3
      Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

      How many terms of office can a BROTM serve?

      Comment

      • Bobby of Tulsa
        Senior Member
        • Jul 2000
        • 40538

        #4
        Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

        Originally posted by Rum_Pirate
        How many terms of office can a BROTM serve?
        As many as they can buy votes for.
        "para todo mal, mezcal, y para todo bien tambiƩn" (for everything bad, mezcal, and for everything good, as well.)

        Comment

        • S.V. Airlie
          Ancient Mariner
          • Dec 2006
          • 63914

          #5
          Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

          Doesn't Norman already post updates dumping manure on apparently only republicans?

          Comment

          • Mrleft8
            Banned
            • Feb 2000
            • 31864

            #6
            Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

            Originally posted by Curtism
            As we approach the midway point of my term as Rat of the month of March I'm compelled to rise up on my hind legs and speak to the masses, lest I be remembered as the one who spent the month loafing, libating and bull-shooting at Lefty's Pub. That this administration has yet to issue an official statement thus far should not be construed as disregard for the importance of the office, quite the contrary. My appointed Lieutenant BROTM (LBR, Red Furrari) and I, along with my staff of advisers (the ever-present voices in my head) have been working furiously to formulate a plan to ensure that this remains a beneficial, happy place for everyone.

            Following years of studies, polls, inquiries, committee debates and in depth research, it's the finding of this office that our forum and it's inhabitants are fine just as they are. Any efforts on our part to significantly alter the structure or functions of this fine group would be regrettable, a squandering of precious energy resources which could be better spent towards other endeavors. However, this should not be taken to mean my administration intends to sit idly by and not at least attempt to leave it's mark in some small way.

            In the weeks to come this office will be issuing press releases regarding public service announcements, suggestions for promoting improved mental and physical well being, a recommended thread reading list along with an edict or three. As part of an ongoing probe into the collective mind, I will likely call on the varied talents contained within this group to answer a few questions. Worry not though, considering your lengthy record of being virtually unstumpable, particularly when you put your heads together, it certainly won't be anything you folks can't address.

            In closing I'd like to express my thanks, not only to the 15 lunatics who trusted their instincts enough to cast a vote for me, but also for the ones who elected not to throw their shoes my way, for I am their Rat as well.

            You're a great bunch, don't ever change.

            As you were.

            Curtis
            I'm old school, can we get some brick and mortar dicts as well?

            Comment

            • Curtism
              Treadin' Trodden Trails
              • Jul 2010
              • 9118

              #7
              Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

              That's the spirit, Bigfella and Jamie. Just stay true to your nature.

              Good question Rum, and I think Bobby pretty much covered it. Heck, we even have a couple guys who bribe their way out of serving. Others still went to the pokey to avoid it.

              Lefty, I thought we already had those. Isn't that where we send our magazine subscriptions? You know, with stamps and envelopes . . . then they send those paper books in exchange.
              ______________

              Life is short, play with your cougar.

              Comment

              • Glen Longino
                Senior Member
                • Jun 2008
                • 28863

                #8
                Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

                Originally posted by S.V. Airlie
                Doesn't Norman already post updates dumping manure on apparently only republicans?
                While you, on the other hand, choose to dump manure only on Norman?
                How rude and untimely!

                Comment

                • David G
                  Senior Member
                  • Dec 2003
                  • 89688

                  #9
                  Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

                  Wait!!! CHIP was elected BROTM???? How that Sam Hill did th... errrrr, I mean..... hmmmmmmm... ok. Well... congratulations. When are you buying a round at the Pub to celebrate? And didn't you promise me the position of Commisar of Heads On Pikes if you won?
                  David G
                  Harbor Woodworks
                  https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

                  "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

                  Comment

                  • Curtism
                    Treadin' Trodden Trails
                    • Jul 2010
                    • 9118

                    #10
                    Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

                    Right you are, Sir.

                    I hereby appoint the distinguished and highly skilled extinguisher of ill conceived arguments, David G, to the post of Commissar of Heads on Pikes. Let it be known that all such designations buy this administration, following approval of the High Council, are lifetime appointments and can only be dismissed by the seat holder during his or her own term as BROTM.

                    Rounds are forthcoming.

                    Congratulations to our new Head Piker.
                    ______________

                    Life is short, play with your cougar.

                    Comment

                    • David G
                      Senior Member
                      • Dec 2003
                      • 89688

                      #11
                      Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

                      I look forward to the EXECUTION of my duties.

                      I have a list prepared... and will now review it for inadvertently missed candidates.
                      David G
                      Harbor Woodworks
                      https://www.facebook.com/HarborWoodworks/

                      "It was a Sunday morning and Goddard gave thanks that there were still places where one could worship in temples not made by human hands." -- L. F. Herreshoff (The Compleat Cruiser)

                      Comment

                      • Rum_Pirate
                        Banned
                        • Apr 2007
                        • 22881

                        #12
                        Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

                        Originally posted by David G
                        I look forward to the EXECUTION of my duties.

                        I have a list prepared... and will now review it for inadvertently missed candidates.

                        The firing squad is ready and waiting


                        Comment

                        • TomF
                          Recalcitrant Heretic
                          • Jun 2003
                          • 50976

                          #13
                          Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

                          Originally posted by Mrleft8
                          I'm old school, can we get some brick and mortar dicts as well?
                          Dict measuring is already a feature of many threads, though the rubric often seems a bit ... flaccid.
                          If I use the word "God," I sure don't mean an old man in the sky who just loves the occasional goat sacrifice. - Anne Lamott

                          Comment

                          • Chip-skiff
                            Wolves Without Borders
                            • Jan 2008
                            • 22764

                            #14
                            Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

                            Originally posted by David G
                            Wait!!! CHIP was elected BROTM????
                            That will never happen. I wouldn't stand for it.

                            Comment

                            • S.V. Airlie
                              Ancient Mariner
                              • Dec 2006
                              • 63914

                              #15
                              Re: BROTMOM's State of the Bilge Address

                              Originally posted by Curtism
                              That's the spirit, Bigfella and Jamie. Just stay true to your nature.

                              Good question Rum, and I think Bobby pretty much covered it. Heck, we even have a couple guys who bribe their way out of serving. Others still went to the pokey to avoid it.

                              Lefty, I thought we already had those. Isn't that where we send our magazine subscriptions? You know, with stamps and envelopes . . . then they send those paper books in exchange.
                              Not my nature. Norman has dibs on that aspect.

                              Comment

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