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Gerarddm
01-25-2014, 05:30 PM
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/25/opinion/sunday/how-long-have-i-got-left.html?hp&rref=opinion


(http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/25/opinion/sunday/how-long-have-i-got-left.html?hp&rref=opinionThis article really hit home, as it is on the verge of the anniversary of my father's death from cancer, six years ago at the age of 88.)

This article really hit home, coming as it is on the verge of the anniversary of my father's death from cancer, six years ago at the age of 88. Unlike the author of this article, he did have a relatively accurate time estimate; when you go into hospice care they say you've got about 6 months left and in fact that's just about what he had. Time to tidy up fiscal affairs, and friendships, and find closure with old family wounds. All with a measure of grace and wry humor ( looking at old photos of him hale and hearty, he noted, 'Ah, the glory that was Rome' ) and quiet heroism.

At his memorial I said, 'Dad taught us how to live, and then he taught us how to die". Cowards die a thousand times, and heroes die but once, it has been said. I think of the author, and my father, as heroic.

LeeG
01-25-2014, 05:59 PM
That is a good story. Mom lasted 18mo. Heavy smoker up until a year before the diagnosis . A big moment for me was driving back from the oncologist after a year of chemo then discovering it had spread to her brain. We worked around the topic planning next years garden with the understanding she probably wouldn't be there to tend it so we went for more perennials .

leikec
01-25-2014, 06:43 PM
This is very personal to me right now, as I help my wife deal with her illness.

Nobody knows how long they have, and I think it can be harmful to get too hung up thinking about it. I don't have any plans to die today, and if it happens it will be because I can't help it.

My wife's prognosis is mixed, so she just has to do the best she can--which means that she has to get up every day and do her best to get well. If getting well isn't in the cards it will have to be faced in due time, but it does no good to dwell on it excessively right now.

Jeff C

Concordia...41
01-25-2014, 07:07 PM
I'm sorry for all that you are going through Jeff. My husband, Dave, after being given a six-week prognosis, beat the odds for 2 1/2 years. All the while using every ounce of strength he possessed and every fiber of his being to ensure that his daughters and I would be ok without him. I marvel to this day and will be eternally grateful for his love.

One of the things that bugged me the most were stupid greeting cards. Whether it was a birthday, anniversary, or a holiday, every stinking one seemed to say something about "spending our lives together" or shared future plans. Never could I find one that said simply "thank you for today." A petty beef I know, but hugely annoying none the less.

-M

leikec
01-26-2014, 02:28 PM
I'm sorry for all that you are going through Jeff. My husband, Dave, after being given a six-week prognosis, beat the odds for 2 1/2 years. All the while using every ounce of strength he possessed and every fiber of his being to ensure that his daughters and I would be ok without him. I marvel to this day and will be eternally grateful for his love.

One of the things that bugged me the most were stupid greeting cards. Whether it was a birthday, anniversary, or a holiday, every stinking one seemed to say something about "spending our lives together" or shared future plans. Never could I find one that said simply "thank you for today." A petty beef I know, but hugely annoying none the less.

-M


I totally get what you're saying. Dave sounds like he was quite a guy. Good luck to you and yours.

Jeff C

pefjr
01-28-2014, 11:36 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHZfWsdwKrY&feature=player_detailpage

I'm goin' down to St. James Infirmary
See my little baby there
She's stretched out on a long, white table
Well she looks so good, so cold, so fair
Let her go, let her go, God bless her
Wherever she may be
You may search this whole wide world over
But she'll never find another sweetheart like me, yeah
Take apart your bones and put 'em back together
Tell your mother that you are somebody new
Feel the breeze blow and tell 'em all, "Look out here it comes!"
Now I can say whatever I feel like to you
Then keep me six crap-shooting pallbearers
Let a chorus girl sing me a song
Put a red-hot jazz band, we raise
Hallelujah as we go along, well
Well folks, now that you have heard my story
Say boy, hand me another shot of that rye
And if anyone else should ask you
Just tell 'em I've got some of those St. James Infirmary blues

David W Pratt
01-28-2014, 11:56 AM
Mom was about 5 yrs from dx, ALS
Dad was about 12-13 yrs from symptoms, Huntington's