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Glen Longino
06-05-2013, 09:39 PM
Just opened a letter and gift card from Neptune Society trying to sell me a Cremation for godsake!
If I sign the card and send it back I can win a Free Cremation.
Greedy bastids...can't they wait a few more years?;)

Phillip Allen
06-05-2013, 09:46 PM
prolly just going by visual evidence

seanz
06-05-2013, 09:50 PM
If I sign the card and send it back I can win a Free Cremation.

You should do that. If you win it, it'd make a great gift for friends or family.

Glen Longino
06-05-2013, 09:52 PM
prolly just going by visual evidence

They've never seen me!

johnw
06-05-2013, 09:53 PM
I got a cold call about a decade ago from a local funeral home, asking if I wanted to make preparations. I told them I was planning to live forever -- so far, so good.

But on the other hand, if I do die and my remains must be disposed of, how is that my problem? It's a little hard to see where they get any leverage.

Glen Longino
06-05-2013, 09:58 PM
You should do that. If you win it, it'd make a great gift for friends or family.

:):) Have you no sensitivity?

Glen Longino
06-05-2013, 10:02 PM
I got a cold call about a decade ago from a local funeral home, asking if I wanted to make preparations. I told them I was planning to live forever -- so far, so good.

But on the other hand, if I do die and my remains must be disposed of, how is that my problem? It's a little hard to see where they get any leverage.

You're what they call an "irresponsible deceased"!:)

seanz
06-05-2013, 10:17 PM
:):) Have you no sensitivity?


Hey look, it's a card from Glen........

...........thinking of you, best wishes.

:D

Full Tilt
06-05-2013, 10:19 PM
.......coupon must be used within thirty days.|:(

Hwyl
06-06-2013, 05:34 AM
I was thinking of a plot it's a grave decision and now it seems to have gone up in smoke. I'm toast.

tizziec
06-06-2013, 05:41 AM
I have been getting letters in the mail from funeral homes, the scooter store, nursing homes and even social security since i was 13!!!! How i ended up with all of this I have no idea but the SS letters finally stopped when i called them up to collect (when i was 25). I figure there is some old lady with a name really close to mine who could actually use this stuff. I get offers from AARP every week! it's kind of become a family joke. Talk about jumping the gun!

Curtism
06-06-2013, 06:31 AM
Glen, is that the one with the name of the last "WINNER" and the Eleanor Roosevelt quote? The quote was a nice touch and simply served to add to the absurdity of it all.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift;
that's why they call it the present."

I wish I was kidding but I got one yesterday, pre-filled out with wifey's name and address. To say I was not amused would be an enormous understatement.

Between that, getting chased into elevators, down hallways and into hospital rooms by grinning bippies peddling nursing/rehab centers, hospice services, Medicaid sign up services LLC, (not kidding even a little bit) and forget all the mail I've gotten the last couple months, my pre-existing level of utter disgust for the vulturistic, privatized, for profit health care cabal has risen to new heights. I never would have thought it possible and at times I've half way expected to step outside and see something like this.

http://www.johnlund.com/images/Circling-Vultures.jpg

Glen Longino
06-06-2013, 06:49 AM
That's it, Curtis, same outfit!
Did you see the message in fine print at the bottom?
"Please accept our apologies if this letter has reached you at a time of serious illness or death in your family."
Glad your wife is doing better.
Best wishes!

Curtism
06-06-2013, 07:26 AM
Thanks, Glen. And thanks for posting about this. I contemplated starting a thread about this yesterday but couldn't stop spitting on the floor long enough to figure out how to approach it. Your (in)famous humorous touch was just the ticket and had me laughing when I saw it this morning. Another fine job, sir.

Didn't you have a hospital visit recently? I'm guessing that is where they harvest their potential clientele. So much for privacy rights eh?

(Ok, I better try to stuff this Genie back in the bottle before I force Scot's hand or burst some patriotic rah rah red ass' illusion of what great health care the US has.)

SMARTINSEN
06-06-2013, 07:32 AM
I was thinking of a plot it's a grave decision and now it seems to have gone up in smoke. I'm toast.

Not to worry, this thread will get buried.

skuthorp
06-06-2013, 07:34 AM
We don't do death well, but the ghouls have made it a lucrative business. Cheap as possible and is my preference but then it won't be really my call will it? Maybe I'd better find an old boat to put aside:d

Paul Pless
06-06-2013, 07:35 AM
Shouldn't an organization named the 'neptune society' be offering burials at sea?

John Smith
06-06-2013, 07:39 AM
For what it's worth, if mom hadn't specifically declared in her will that she wanted to be cremated, all her children would have to have agreed to it.

Cremation is more expensive than one might think.

Arranging for a free one may not be as bad an idea as it might seem.

Paul Pless
06-06-2013, 07:42 AM
Cremation is more expensive than one might think. True, but then you can take the ashes home and put them in your closet, which is cheaper than a burial. . .

Curtism
06-06-2013, 07:54 AM
Cremation is more expensive than one might think.

Arranging for a free one may not be as bad an idea as it might seem.

True in most cases but these guys are fishing just like a Readers Digest sweepstake, probably with similar odds of "winning". I looked into this and, if I recall, these guys want around $1800. A local funeral parlor wanted $2400 for a simple cremation with no service (our preference) and they have a window in the furnace so you can watch. Not kidding here, the lady said some people have trust issues and prefer this method. The cheapest was a local guy family owned outfit and they wanted $485, taxes and certificate included.

On the form there's a space for your e-mail addy and phone number and, knowing the corporate mindset, that's primarily what they're after. Well that and the hopes someone is stupid enough to return the entry form so they can hound you 'til you wished you would croak, just to shut them up.

skuthorp
06-06-2013, 08:00 AM
True, but then you can take the ashes home and put them in your closet, which is cheaper than a burial. . .
When I was a kid a local character and coal merchant also sidelined in delivering the ashes of the deceased to their families. He was not very diligent in this and it being before the advent of plastic boxes sometimes they were in urns and sometimes in cardboard. Rattling about amongst the coal accidents happened but Harold just topped the box up with coal dust, sealed it up and delivered it anyhow. I wonder what happened to that truck.

John Smith
06-06-2013, 08:11 AM
True in most cases but these guys are fishing just like a Readers Digest sweepstake, probably with similar odds of "winning". I looked into this and, if I recall, these guys want around $1800. A local funeral parlor wanted $2400 for a simple cremation with no service (our preference) and they have a window in the furnace so you can watch. Not kidding here, the lady said some people have trust issues and prefer this method. The cheapest was a local guy family owned outfit and they wanted $485, taxes and certificate included.

On the form there's a space for your e-mail addy and phone number and, knowing the corporate mindset, that's primarily what they're after. Well that and the hopes someone is stupid enough to return the entry form so they can hound you 'til you wished you would croak, just to shut them up.

This probably varies from state to state. With my mom, I dealt with the state organization, the exact title of which I forget. The lowest cost available in 2005 for cremation was $1100. At the time that was the lowest cost for a burial.

My recollection was the two were connected so as to prevent people cremating their loved ones to save money and make less business for those who provide burial services.

That was also the year a friend lost her husband, and they were sold a $3500 cremation package. They didn't know they could have paid less.

Sometimes I think the grieving family needs someone to represent them when making arrangements other than the people making money off of those arrangements.

Curtism
06-06-2013, 08:16 AM
Shouldn't an organization named the 'neptune society' be offering burials at sea?

That's what I always thought too, and they do offer that service. Now, I have no way to verify this but I've read that the "budget service" is where they pour your ashes into a 55 gallon drum and, once they have a couple of full ones, they charter a helicopter to fly out over the sea and dump them all at once. For the affluent, they have programs where you can have that private, personalized touch and spend as much as you like. It's big biz, particularly in a retirement state like this.

Curtism
06-06-2013, 09:07 AM
This probably varies from state to state. With my mom, I dealt with the state organization, the exact title of which I forget. The lowest cost available in 2005 for cremation was $1100. At the time that was the lowest cost for a burial.

My recollection was the two were connected so as to prevent people cremating their loved ones to save money and make less business for those who provide burial services.

That was also the year a friend lost her husband, and they were sold a $3500 cremation package. They didn't know they could have paid less.

Sometimes I think the grieving family needs someone to represent them when making arrangements other than the people making money off of those arrangements.

It's something none of us like to think about but a situation we'll all end up dealing with, at least those of us who stick around long enough.

Sorry to hear about your mom, and your brother's recent passing. I've been staying in better touch with my brother since reading about your loss, incidentally. My mom's recent diagnosis of onset Alzheimer's has caused her to bring up her death a lot lately and I suppose my recent digging around for info will come in handy when the day comes.

You're right about the representative/advocate for families in times like this. And they do exist, but also charge fee's for their services. The Medicaid Filing Service LLC I mentioned is one example I've been offered and need to look into but it strikes me similarly to having to hire a lawyer to protect you from your mortgage company during a foreclosure. Your already broke, obviously but you have to come up with $3K to keep from being tossed out of your home.

I've got a long-standing terrible attitude towards people and organizations that profit from the misery of others that is well founded and etched in my psyche due to past predicaments and this has been a sort of handicap lately. Things such as I've been through, along with hearing some of the stories of other families trials, has just hardened my anti-privatization of everything stance but hopefully it will lead me to some sort of activist participation (not sure what or how yet). I'd really like to help effect some changes in the current system in the interest of creating some good from the misery that is so prevalent. It may be a pipe dream but it beats the hell out of making a hobby of feeling helpless.

John A. Campbell
06-06-2013, 05:11 PM
I'm currently building the "Harbor Skiff" to Walter Simmons' design and have told my kids that when I die they should just place me in the boat, add a few dry pecan and live oak logs for plenty of heat , launch her on Lake Belton and light her up ........just like the Vikings did it (! ! !)

Rum_Pirate
06-06-2013, 10:15 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LClTjcyNJSI:ycool:

LeeG
06-07-2013, 12:15 AM
I'm currently building the "Harbor Skiff" to Walter Simmons' design and have told my kids that when I die they should just place me in the boat, add a few dry pecan and live oak logs for plenty of heat , launch her on Lake Belton and light her up ........just like the Vikings did it (! ! !)

I had volunteered with Hospice for a few years as a respite volunteer so the end of life topic was pretty normal for me. When I stopped doing that I worked a bit for CLC. One day a not very old fellow came in looking for a boat he could make and be buried in. The young folks there quickly said "uh Lee?" We had a good conversation, I didn't press for details of his anticipated demise but we went over the pros and cons, whether his body would have to be folded vs the size of hole in the ground needed to accommodate the boat. A lot of it was for humor but the there was something real to the conversation.

Anyway on another tangent I thought it was funny that my dogs cremation and mahogany box cost more than my moms cremation and multiple plastic boxes.

LeeG
06-07-2013, 12:22 AM
You should do that. If you win it, it'd make a great gift for friends or family.

Agreed, and maybe a free magazine subscription

John A. Campbell
06-07-2013, 04:12 PM
Leeg, I'm glad you brought up that subject (about being buried in a boat). I had that idea about a year ago and actually visited with Danny Dossman, owner of Dossman Funeral Home in nearby Belton, Texas. He said he'd never heard of anything like that but he gave me the dimensions I would have to stay within......82" X 28" outside dimensions and 77" X 24" inside dimensions. This would be an aft cockpit Hacker similiar to the 16-foot Gentleman's Runabout from our favorite mag or perhaps similiar to Hacker's 1924 "Rosita". I've built many Hacker runabout models for display and radio control and building one big enough to hold my body wouldn't be all that difficult. I've wanted a full size Hacker all my life (I'm 74 now) and could never afford it....... the casket would be built as close to a Hacker as possible......build it in 6 mm or 9 mm Okoume marine plywood and veneer it with light red Honduran mahogany....it would be a lot of fun to build and would save my heirs a lot of money PLUS it would give them something to talk about for many years to come.......I'm really quite serious about this......and will get a lot more serious soon as I complete the "Harbor Skiff". I know it sounds kinda nutty but ..........
I had volunteered with Hospice for a few years as a respite volunteer so the end of life topic was pretty normal for me. When I stopped doing that I worked a bit for CLC. One day a not very old fellow came in looking for a boat he could make and be buried in. The young folks there quickly said "uh Lee?" We had a good conversation, I didn't press for details of his anticipated demise but we went over the pros and cons, whether his body would have to be folded vs the size of hole in the ground needed to accommodate the boat. A lot of it was for humor but the there was something real to the conversation.

Anyway on another tangent I thought it was funny that my dogs cremation and mahogany box cost more than my moms cremation and multiple plastic boxes.

George Jung
06-07-2013, 04:21 PM
Glen, is that the one with the name of the last "WINNER" and the Eleanor Roosevelt quote? The quote was a nice touch and simply served to add to the absurdity of it all.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift;
that's why they call it the present."

I wish I was kidding but I got one yesterday, pre-filled out with wifey's name and address. To say I was not amused would be an enormous understatement.

Between that, getting chased into elevators, down hallways and into hospital rooms by grinning bippies peddling nursing/rehab centers, hospice services, Medicaid sign up services LLC, (not kidding even a little bit) and forget all the mail I've gotten the last couple months, my pre-existing level of utter disgust for the vulturistic, privatized, for profit health care cabal has risen to new heights. I never would have thought it possible and at times I've half way expected to step outside and see something like this.

http://www.johnlund.com/images/Circling-Vultures.jpgI had to laugh at this - a few years back, I was out on an evening paddle in my kayak, on the Missouri river..... very peaceful, lots of wildlife to watch - fish jumping, ducks/ducklings, even a few deer. So peaceful, I slouched down in my boat, pulled the floppy boathat I was wearing over my face, and just relaxed, rolling with the mild wave action.... until I happened to look up, and saw those buzzards circling overhead! I paddled with renewed enthusiasm after that!

George Jung
06-07-2013, 04:23 PM
A Viking funeral is an attractive option - but I'd have to use my kayak, and - I'd have trouble burning a perfectly good boat, esp. one I'd built! Plus, my luck, I'd go through the turbines at the dam. Sounds messy, and maybe even illegal (which on the face of it, would seem to be a plus. I mean really - what they gonna do to me?)

S.V. Airlie
06-07-2013, 04:28 PM
True, but then you can take the ashes home and put them in your closet, which is cheaper than a burial. . .Not in the closet the mantel for all to seel.

hokiefan
06-07-2013, 05:03 PM
Many years ago when our first daughter was stillborn we chose to have her cremated. We chose the funeral home because it was relatively near to our house, as we had no other knowledge to base it on. When I went there to do the paperwork, I asked the guy how much do I owe you for this? He looked at me really sad and said that in situations like this we don't charge our customers. I was flabergasted, and very grateful. There are definitely some kind people in this world as well as vultures.

Cheers,

Bobby

LeeG
06-07-2013, 05:43 PM
My mom and sister in law cost me $2600.00 dollars to be cremated in 1995 in the state Of Arkansas.

$300 for mom in 1991, SF Bay Area is consumer friendly, or there wasn't a lack for customers.

SchoonerRat
06-07-2013, 06:06 PM
One burial at sea aboard Ranger sticks in my mind. "Dead Ted" arrived in a plastic bag packed inside a cube shaped wooden box, along with an urn for the scattering and perpetual interment of a small amount of saved ashes. Ted's transfer from the plastic bag to the urn didn't go well. We swept up what we could and the rest went into the bilge (the nautical equivalent of under the rug).

Ted had lots of friends, about 75 of them showed up for the service. That was about 15 more than I really was comfortable with. Ted's brother said that it wasn't a problem; only about a dozen would be aboard, the rest could witness it from the end of the jetty. When I explained the deal about the 3 mile limit, a miniature hand engraved portrait of Ben Franklin appeared in my hand. 3/4 of a mile offshore became feasible.

I slowly motored out the channel into the brisk 15 -20 knot southerly while the mourners made their way out out to the end of the jetty. I hung out till a hand signal from the rocks indicated that everybody had completed the trek. I turned the boat around to make a pass by the end of the jetty about 20 to 25 yards off the end.

When I realized what was about to happen I tried to stop him, but the words just stuck in my throat. I saw the nightmare unfolding before me as if in slow motion. Cremated human remains tend to consist of grainy and chunky bits, but enough of Ted became airborne to create a large gray cloud that traveled across the water filled chasm between Ranger and the rocks.

I had a grim feeling in the pit of my stomach, but the sight of 60 people coughing and frantically brushing off their clothing made it tough to choke back an inappropriate laugh. I winced when I heard a chuckle or two come from my crew. Ted's brother turned to face me, he had a big s--t eating grin on his face.

"Ted would have really enjoyed that."

Another Franklin appeared in my hand.

Ooooo damn. I probably shouldn't have told that story. What's the statute of limitations for illegal disposal of human remains?

George Jung
06-07-2013, 06:22 PM
The Big Lebowski

Glen Longino
06-07-2013, 07:46 PM
:) Good story, SchoonerRat!:)

SchoonerRat
06-07-2013, 09:47 PM
Thanks Glen. I didn't make any money running schooners, but at least I've got an amusing anecdote or two.

Glen Longino
06-07-2013, 11:16 PM
Any time you feel like telling a story about schooner running or anything else, I'll feel like reading it!:)