PDA

View Full Version : How do I appear to you guys.



Meli
12-26-2012, 01:45 AM
i'm not blue,but after christmas a little lonely for that different type ofsmile, hug and kiss
just feelingwith the new year coming up, I should try online dating.
Ive done this before, but too early, too raw.
tell me what you think I look like, what my personality is.
Am i boring, too aggressive, shallow, uneducated, kind, too intense, a dilletant?
what are my good points , what are my bad points.
here am I stripped nekkid.
go for it, no holds barred, I wont be offended or hurt. Well maybe a little.
please. I need the feed back.
I had a dry christmas yesterday, so only half a bottle of champers this afternoon.
whatswrong with me.?

PeterSibley
12-26-2012, 01:51 AM
You only appear on my screen, it's not quite complete.

Meli
12-26-2012, 01:54 AM
So what do you need to know?
what is important?
ask I'll tell you.

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 02:10 AM
Meli.... no nekkid photos please.... we don't want to see you banned for showing us your nips

skuthorp
12-26-2012, 02:32 AM
You're OK by me Meli, but christmas does that to people. It's partly unreal expectations fuelled by retail adds, subsequent guilt and schmaltzy TV.
You come across to me as an extremely capable and multi skilled person who is willing to have a go. For me the trick is to learn to live with yourself, be self sufficient.
But then I always was a bit of a loner and really didn't need much company, and certainly no ego bolstering from the outside.

PeterSibley
12-26-2012, 02:35 AM
i'm not blue,but after christmas a little lonely for that different type ofsmile, hug and kiss
just feelingwith the new year coming up, I should try online dating.
Ive done this before, but too early, too raw.
tell me what you think I look like, what my personality is.
Am i boring, too aggressive, shallow, uneducated, kind, too intense, a dilletant?
what are my good points , what are my bad points.
here am I stripped nekkid.
go for it, no holds barred, I wont be offended or hurt. Well maybe a little.
please. I need the feed back.
I had a dry christmas yesterday, so only half a bottle of champers this afternoon.
whatswrong with me.?

Absolutely nothing, I find you entirely pleasant in all respects . Enjoy life Meli , things will up .|:)Y>

JayInOz
12-26-2012, 02:35 AM
Well Meli, I think you're one of the good guys- in a slightly manic, one wheel spinnin' in the sand kinda way :) I do sometimes wonder what you're doing on a wooden boat forum- it seems to be about the only topic you haven't covered:) Try on line dating again- be careful, take it slow, talk to your dates softly and remember to breathe after every twenty words or so. So far for the month of December- just in the Bilge- you've started seventy (70) threads- so I hope you find a nice man who's a really good listener. Best of luck kiddo xxx JayInOz

Meli
12-26-2012, 02:41 AM
Yeah, i know about my garrulousness, its cause i spent 26 years just listening and I have no one to express my thoughts too except you guys.
I'll work on that. Men like to be listened to?

I'm on a wooden boat forum because I do actually have a little boat, I'm a dilletant sometimes wannabe sailor, and I like blokes conversation better than shopping.:d
and yes, the one wheel spinning, if you mean totaly idealistic is spot on

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 02:44 AM
Come on, you know what men really like... don't you?

PeterSibley
12-26-2012, 02:45 AM
What he said .

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 02:45 AM
Lemon meringue pie, of course

switters
12-26-2012, 02:45 AM
Only when they want another beer or a sandwich.

Meli
12-26-2012, 02:51 AM
lemon meringue pie?
Well I can make one if really necessary, but be careful what you wish for :D

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 02:56 AM
Yep... lemon meringue pie. There was something else on birthdays too... IIRC

Meli
12-26-2012, 03:00 AM
The trouble with dating sites is the language.
If you say you are cheeky or playful, men's minds go straight into the gutter.
they dont understand that what you mean is, I'm likely to cheekily pull down pretention and tell you that mustache looks like a disguise or playfully want to go rock pooling or build a sand castle.

Thats me, half a kid that wants to play. The other half is a serious human rights supporter. Just like any other stars in the eyes kid..
Im not very grown up at allY:o but I hate to be pushed around and bossed in my favour, I dont boss either.
Is there any hope?

Meli
12-26-2012, 03:19 AM
Yep... lemon meringue pie. There was something else on birthdays too... IIRC

Bringing up your trawilings on another forum, that were written 3 years ago isa tad tacky ian.
theres a lot of things I said and did when my exfirst left, some angry, some pathetic, some sad.
bringing them up here is a little low.

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 03:24 AM
Bringing up your trawilings on another forum, that were written 3 years ago isa tad tacky ian.
theres a lot of things I said and did when my exfirst left, some angry, some pathetic, some sad.
bringing them up here is a little low.

Eh wot?

Meli... I haven't got a clue what you are on about.

Lemon Meringue Pie... I used to get one every July 11.

The rest was a joke and I've got no idea what you are on about

PeterSibley
12-26-2012, 03:32 AM
If you try online dating be absolutely honest, completely upfront, point out the good and the bad. Let the chips fall were they may.

skuthorp
12-26-2012, 03:43 AM
and you can be absolultley sure that the bloke on the other end isn't doing the same.

Meli
12-26-2012, 03:45 AM
Yer right.
I am a 53 yo with slim hips, a large front. No bum.
not too much grey hair. Currently hennad deep red
I enjoy light left wing political discussions
I have a small boat but cant sail it and am frightened of open water.
I have two teenagers at home.
If you offer genuinely racist comments, I,m liable to ask how many generations your folks have been here.
If you smack me on the bum after a second date, even if I like you I will prolly give you the flick (regardless of whether I REALLY like you)
I'll pack you a christmas stocking full of little presents and love. But will not put up with you insisting we go with your ultra christian mother to church, you may go on your own and meet me for sweets later.
I will happily concede that you need your own space as long as you stay out of my shed unless asked.:D
I well wear a thong, only if you do too

PeterSibley
12-26-2012, 03:46 AM
and you can be absolultley sure that the bloke on the other end isn't doing the same.

True but if Meli is thinking along those lines a bit of honesty may encourage some from the bloke? May ?Maybe ?

Meli
12-26-2012, 03:46 AM
and you can be absolultley sure that the bloke on the other end isn't doing the same.
perzactly. :d

Meli
12-26-2012, 03:50 AM
True but if Meli is thinking along those lines a bit of honesty may encourage some from the bloke? May ?Maybe ?

o, it just brings the wolves out drooling for red riding hood.

Fortunately, Im not stupid and can sort out the real sleazes
Its the amateur sleazes that are a little disappointing.

Meli
12-26-2012, 03:56 AM
I'm looking for a few tips not to scare the nice, strong, humorous, tolerant and honest bloke off.
there must be some decent blokes out there that dont mind my having grubby overalls on or grimy fingernails after Ive been working.
and understands that we cant all magically appear in Prada, when asked on an impromptue date.?
or at all, just quick shower, best frock, and leg wax?
?

skuthorp
12-26-2012, 04:02 AM
Join an organisation that does what you like/want to do. Ask about the yacht club if there's a group restoring a boat, or start one. It may be different for me but if anything happened to Anne I certainly wouldn't bother again. (she always asks 'what's wrong with marriage?", as if it's personal)

PeterSibley
12-26-2012, 04:02 AM
I guess you're going to have to trust your nose Meli, there are lots of very pleasant blokes out there but I really have no idea how you meet them, good luck though .|:)Y>

skuthorp
12-26-2012, 04:05 AM
Re a boat to restore, :DRick has a perfectly good hull in his front yard............................

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 04:12 AM
Re a boat to restore, :DRick has a perfectly good hull in his front yard............................

So do I

skuthorp
12-26-2012, 04:15 AM
So do I
and another on the river 'just needing a bit of sanding and some paint':D

Meli
12-26-2012, 04:15 AM
i dont want a resentful child.
I dont want a bloke looking for a FB
I dont want a masterful control freak
I just want a nice bloke who will respect my independence and I his, who will be there when needed and vica versa
In,I short a grown up friend .
the trouble is that men on dating sites, well if they are good looking, they look for 15 years younger. Cant blame em.
and the nice ordinary blokes dont bother, cause they dont need to.
past experience is that I get hits from young cougar searchers, or weirdos.or liars about their age and occupations and means.
I dont care about the latter, but fortune hunters do exist.

Meli
12-26-2012, 04:17 AM
and another on the river 'just needing a bit of sanding and some paint':D

yeah, ok.
I'll come over and help you sant and paint your boat. Fish and chip lunch provided?

I give up.

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 04:25 AM
Meli, I can't imagine ever using a dating site. If the missus changed the locks here... I'd not be wasting time dealing with sites that seem populated with serial liars.

You're at an interesting point in life. Not quite empty nested yet... but that's the direction. That brings its own challenges, but plenty of opportunities too.

Best way to meet people of the opposite sex is face to face. That way you can read all the signals rather than hit and miss bs.

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 04:30 AM
.... and seriously Meli, Mr Right is out there....

http://p.twimg.com/A2uZ2l8CcAAC9PJ.jpg:large

Meli
12-26-2012, 04:41 AM
Yeah, I know that deep down.
Im just suffering from the no time ,no money ,no desperately driving force syndrome and you cant meet people unless you get out.
Too proud and cynical for singles bars.
not the type for desparately picking up randomly in ordinary bars .
shrug

53 is a bad age to be a single woman who WILL NOT doll herself up, lie and go out clubbing for a hopeful pickup.

yet here I am, naturally slim, long legs, good figure (for even the average 45 yo )wasting my life away
happy personality, not a fuss pot about shopping, housework, handy in the shed, competent, independent, self reliant and self supporting reasonably well read and not quite a bimbo totally loyal and generous. pout.
pisses me off

Meli
12-26-2012, 05:14 AM
Maybe I'll just start walking my cute and silly dog on thelocal beach:cool:

I'm Ok, but I'm getting scared of spending my life like this. 4 years has gone so fast.
I'm a natural nurturer and lover. i wasnt made to spend my middle years alone.

PeterSibley
12-26-2012, 05:17 AM
Meli, I can't imagine ever using a dating site. If the missus changed the locks here... I'd not be wasting time dealing with sites that seem populated with serial liars.

You're at an interesting point in life. Not quite empty nested yet... but that's the direction. That brings its own challenges, but plenty of opportunities too.

Best way to meet people of the opposite sex is face to face. That way you can read all the signals rather than hit and miss bs.

Good advice from Ian.

Andrew Craig-Bennett
12-26-2012, 05:22 AM
Er, the yacht club? As recommended, iirc, by Lin Pardey, and has worked for several people I know..

Meli
12-26-2012, 05:26 AM
Good advice from Ian.

Hey, i've tried
people of my age are mainly happily married or never married.
I wish I'd left the marriage 10 years ago like most .
I had my kids late, not a lot of women left single with a 12 year old when they are 50
OK, I'm finally ranting about the unfairness of it all.
he's off with a new partner and Im stuck here, getting old with two kids that need support.
ITS NOT FAIR.
:D ok dummy spit over but any tips will help

Meli
12-26-2012, 05:30 AM
Er, the yacht club? As recommended, iirc, by Lin Pardey, and has worked for several people I know..

heh, my boat club is ruled and frequented by lovely people over 65
'My local yacht club offers associate membership to our local brighton ladies looking for a bonk.
All tanned and blond and manecured and membership is aroud 1500 pa. i dont stand a look in past the committee.

Andrew Craig-Bennett
12-26-2012, 05:36 AM
Well, I certainly recognise the symptoms. In my case an 8 year old at 58.

NOT FAIR was exactly what I thought.

Then the woman of my dreams walked up to me in a bar*, told me i was good looking and gave me her phone number.

Now I'm sixty and I've got a bonus four year old!

*It was a tapas bar, I was having a drink with my best mate; she and her sister run a movie agency and she was looking for extras; she gave me her business card. But it's better the way I tell it :p

(I was so out of practice that if Robert hadn't said "She's gorgeous! What are you waiting for!" I would never have had the courage to ask her out.)

PeterSibley
12-26-2012, 05:51 AM
Hey, i've tried
people of my age are mainly happily married or never married.
I wish I'd left the marriage 10 years ago like most .
I had my kids late, not a lot of women left single with a 12 year old when they are 50
OK, I'm finally ranting about the unfairness of it all.
he's off with a new partner and Im stuck here, getting old with two kids that need support.
ITS NOT FAIR.
:D ok dummy spit over but any tips will help

It happens, one of my best friends recently became strongly involved with a very pleasant woman who worked in the same place part time. She would be early 50s (?) and has a 13 year old daughter who knows everything about life ! They worked together for a year casting quiet glances at each other before a mutual friend suggested they actually stop mucking around and go out . My friend would be 59, a widower for 12 years. It's going very nicely and has been for 3 years now.... I'm very pleased , it's 2 people made happy.


It happens.

Meli
12-26-2012, 05:54 AM
yes Andrew, but you are a bloke with the money and the power.
If you told me your new love was the same age as you you might have a point.

would you have looked at a 50 - 60 year old woman even if well Preserved:rolleyes:
I'm not bitchin about that, its the waythe world works. But its still not fair.

Meli
12-26-2012, 05:57 AM
It happens, one of my best friends recently became strongly involved with a very pleasant woman who worked in the same place part time. She would be early 50s (?) and has a 13 year old daughter who knows everything about life ! They worked together for a year casting quiet glances at each other before a mutual friend suggested they actually stop mucking around and go out . My friend would be 59, a widower for 12 years. It's going very nicely and has been for 3 years now.... I'm very pleased , it's 2 people made happy.


It happens.

a widower would be good. That sounds awful .

Andrew Craig-Bennett
12-26-2012, 06:01 AM
yes Andrew, but you are a bloke with the money and the power.
If you told me your new love was the same age as you you might have a point.

would you have looked at a 50 - 60 year old woman even if well Preserved:rolleyes:
I'm not bitchin about that, its the waythe world works. But its still not fair.

Well, yes, of course I would!

I wasn't LOOKING for a woman young enough to be my daughter - I was LOOKING, insofar as I actually was "looking" between ironing shopping cooking cleaning the school run for the 8 year old and commuting 80 miles to work) for someone my age!

I am rather embarrassed about it (and the ex got half the money despite NOT having the kids and despite NOT having worked for years...Grrrr!

Meli
12-26-2012, 06:08 AM
Cheers

PeterSibley
12-26-2012, 06:09 AM
a widower would be good. That sounds awful .

It was awful, his wife was a good friend of ours, she had an aneurysm and never regained consciousness.

PeterSibley
12-26-2012, 06:11 AM
Were I looking Mel, I'd be looking for someone I could talk to, that can be very important .

Syed
12-26-2012, 06:12 AM
To me, you appear to be a jolly and active person.
lf you want comments about the looks, post a couple of pictures.
Wishing you all the best.

Cheers!

Syed

Meli
12-26-2012, 06:20 AM
My old computer blew up.with all my photos
there is a pic of me here somewhere, maybe BF or paul know which thread its on.
in my red polkadot bikini no less :p

were you watching the crickettoday ?

Syed
12-26-2012, 06:24 AM
Bikini pictures will sidetrack the mob here.;)

Having cricket matches with India, yesterday Pakistan defeated India in nail biting finish (T 20).

obscured by clouds
12-26-2012, 06:24 AM
naturally slim, long legs, good figure (for even the average 45 yo )wasting my life away
happy personality, not a fuss pot about shopping, housework, handy in the shed, competent, independent, self reliant and self supporting reasonably well read and not quite a bimbo totally loyal and generous. pout.


Shame I don't live in Oz. you sound perfect to me.....and I tend to agree with the sentiments expressed in the majority of your postings too...and I'm pretty much your age too.... butI live in welsh Wales rather than New South Wales. :(

Syed
12-26-2012, 06:31 AM
Shame I don't live in Oz. you sound perfect to me.....and I tend to agree with the sentiments expressed in the majority of your postings too...and I'm pretty much your age too.... butI live in welsh Wales rather than New South Wales. :(

It's always possible to find the middle ground.|:)

Curtism
12-26-2012, 06:32 AM
yes Andrew, but you are a bloke with the money and the power.
If you told me your new love was the same age as you you might have a point.

would you have looked at a 50 - 60 year old woman even if well Preserved:rolleyes:
I'm not bitchin about that, its the waythe world works. But its still not fair.

It may be the way you see your world working but there really are no set in stone guidelines, particularly when it comes to matters of the heart. The age thing about men preferring younger women is a societal myth as far as I'm concerned, albeit a long standing one.

For instance, I'm your age and my wife is a quite bit older than Andrew (I won't get specific for obvious reasons ;)), and we laugh at these ideas that there are such limiting parameters that determine what will work or not when it comes to pairings and age difference. Bah to preconceived notions and outdated conventions we say.

PeterSibley
12-26-2012, 06:33 AM
It's always possible to find the middle ground.|:)

They'd need a good boat, it would be wet !;)

Meli
12-26-2012, 06:34 AM
Can I ask a question?
If you went ona first date with someone you liked and had a relaxexed and easy couple of hours
arrange a second date just for breakfast at a cafe and you have a lovely time just chatting.
would you slap your date lightly on the bum, with a happy " see you later" kind of playful smack?

this happened to me a couple of years back, I brushed him off, thinking it too forward.
I liked the man. He was nice allthought worlds apart from what I expected in profession and interests.
p
maybe I'm just a little scared ive only had two partners ever, one for 5 years, one for 28 years.
Im a little lost in what men expect after two or three dates.
FCS, i was born in 59

Meli
12-26-2012, 06:37 AM
It may be the way you see your world working but there really are no set in stone guidelines, particularly when it comes to matters of the heart. The age thing about men preferring younger women is a societal myth as far as I'm concerned, albeit a long standing one.

For instance, I'm your age and my wife is a quite bit older than Andrew (I won't get specific for obvious reasons ;)), and we laugh at these ideas that there are such limiting parameters that determine what will work or not when it comes to pairings and age difference. Bah to preconceived notions and outdated conventions we say.

Yer, but I was talking about expectations on dating sites. Most 55 men but their prefered age group at least 10 years younger, which is why I think its a waste of time.

Andrew Craig-Bennett
12-26-2012, 06:38 AM
Of ccoure, you actually tend to end up "merging families", so instead of candle lit dinners (we've never managed one yet!) you spend your time in department store toyshops and fast food outlets...

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/224675_359931770749837_1930385823_n.jpg

Meli
12-26-2012, 06:39 AM
Shame I don't live in Oz. you sound perfect to me.....and I tend to agree with the sentiments expressed in the majority of your postings too...and I'm pretty much your age too.... butI live in welsh Wales rather than New South Wales. :(

I have a European passport ;)

PeterSibley
12-26-2012, 06:40 AM
I think your response is your response Mel, the fellow probably didn't mean anything by it but how would I know ? If you didn't like it, that all there is to it.

obscured by clouds
12-26-2012, 06:43 AM
I have a European passport ;)


Heh. and Oz is on my 'to do' list now I'm officially 'retired'

Andrew Craig-Bennett
12-26-2012, 06:44 AM
Can I ask a question?
If you went ona first date with someone you liked and had a relaxexed and easy couple of hours
arrange a second date just for breakfast at a cafe and you have a lovely time just chatting.
would you slap your date lightly on the bum, with a happy " see you later" kind of playful smack?

this happened to me a couple of years back, I brushed him off, thinking it too forward.
I liked the man. He was nice allthought worlds apart from what I expected in profession and interests.
p
maybe I'm just a little scared ive only had two partners ever, one for 5 years, one for 28 years.
Im a little lost in what men expect after two or three dates.
FCS, i was born in 59

No, I most certainly would not, and did not, and won't, ever - keeping my hands to myself was something that commended me (her ex was abusive, which is why he was fired...)

Andrew Craig-Bennett
12-26-2012, 06:46 AM
Heh. and Oz is on my 'to do' list now I'm officially 'retired'

Dubai for the cricket or Hong Kong for the rugger?

obscured by clouds
12-26-2012, 06:48 AM
Dubai for the cricket or Hong Kong for the rugger?

I'm not that solvent!

Syed
12-26-2012, 06:53 AM
Dubai for the cricket or Hong Kong for the rugger?

... Lahore for food (Imran Khan says and I think rightly so)

Meli
12-26-2012, 06:55 AM
I think your response is your response Mel, the fellow probably didn't mean anything by it but how would I know ? If you didn't like it, that all there is to it.

I was just out of a long long relationship.
today, I think I would just giggle a bit and think about it.
It's very hard, sorting yourself out after 28 years with one person.
like turning on a cobwebbed light switch. Will it just do what it naturally does, or will it injure you.?

Curtism
12-26-2012, 06:57 AM
Yer, but I was talking about expectations on dating sites. Most 55 men but their prefered age group at least 10 years younger, which is why I think its a waste of time.

Ok, gothca now and that's probably so of dating sites. I was just providing some contrast to Andrew and his loved ones age difference. My wife and I met online but through a common interest forum, not unlike this one, except it was a different topic, so there weren't those pressures to define ourselves to see if we were somehow compatible. We simply hit it off and became fast pals.

And right now, in your surrounding circumstances, it seems like you are in the middle of re-defining who you are and what you expect from life, which probably has a big influence on any troubles you may encounter searching for that (seemingly elusive) "match".

He's out there, no doubt, you simply may be looking a bit too hard with this approach. In fact, he may be somewhere in plain sight and you're too busy beating the bushes to see. That's my 2 cents anyway.

I hear what your saying though, and the holidays always seem to bring our focus' onto these needs for someone to share moments with. I get it, I think a lot of us do.

McMike
12-26-2012, 07:01 AM
All I know Meli is you've got some balls. Not just because you asked but because you are looking for the truth.

You're never gonna find the perfect guy you outlined above. The best you can hope to find is someone who is kind and loving and puts up with your crap. I'm not sayin crap in a specific way, I'm only pointing out that we all have baggage, including the guy that's waiting to meet you somewhere in that wide world. Don't let your guard down bunt don't let your guard keep you from life.

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 07:06 AM
My old computer blew up.with all my photos
there is a pic of me here somewhere, maybe BF or paul know which thread its on.
in my red polkadot bikini no less :p

were you watching the crickettoday ?

Sorry Meli... I don't have it. Despite accusations by several folks, I'm not into hoarding photos of folks.... nor do I recall what thread it was on, although I do seem to recall seeing it - on a wharf IIRC

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 07:12 AM
Can I ask a question?
If you went ona first date with someone you liked and had a relaxexed and easy couple of hours
arrange a second date just for breakfast at a cafe and you have a lovely time just chatting.
would you slap your date lightly on the bum, with a happy " see you later" kind of playful smack?

this happened to me a couple of years back, I brushed him off, thinking it too forward.
I liked the man. He was nice allthought worlds apart from what I expected in profession and interests.
p
maybe I'm just a little scared ive only had two partners ever, one for 5 years, one for 28 years.
Im a little lost in what men expect after two or three dates.
FCS, i was born in 59

Depends entirely on prior touching I would think. Some people touch... some don't

Meli
12-26-2012, 07:14 AM
Yeah, thanks.
thats just about it.
My life is just about to change big time.
My lovely old house will have a new owner in about 6 weeks. That makes me sad but I will cope I think.
my whole life is having the rug finally pulled under it, letting go of the last ties of my old life.
it will be scary.
some days I think it will be great to be completely in control of my future, new life, new house, new interests.
but at night it scares me.

I am 53 and having to start over as if I were in my twenties.
I'm (to use that cliche) young at heart, but its a lie, I'm not just young at heart, I see myself as about 19 , loving, giving , laughing,my lover as my whole world.
Nothing to do with my physical appearance, Im happy with my body, but my mind and emotions are still so young.
Why is there no one out there that cant shed the grown up thing and just laugh and play.?


?

Meli
12-26-2012, 07:18 AM
Depends entirely on prior touching I would think. Some people touch... some don't
hey, I touch.
when I've known someone for about 24 hours contact.:rolleyes:
a double kiss ore a pat on the shoulder.
a slap on the arse ??? i suppose it depends on the person.
he said he felt really relaxed and comfortable with me. And he was a Queenslander.
all so confusing
Us melburnians are a tad more restrained, but when we make friends, we are dependable.

hanleyclifford
12-26-2012, 07:20 AM
If ya can't whup 'em, why not join 'em? http://www.agirlandagunclub.com/

Meli
12-26-2012, 07:24 AM
All I know Meli is you've got some balls. Not just because you asked but because you are looking for the truth.

You're never gonna find the perfect guy you outlined above. The best you can hope to find is someone who is kind and loving and puts up with your crap. I'm not sayin crap in a specific way, I'm only pointing out that we all have baggage, including the guy that's waiting to meet you somewhere in that wide world. Don't let your guard down bunt don't let your guard keep you from life.
Thank Mike, Sometimes I think that the men on dating sites are prolly not for me.

LeeG
12-26-2012, 07:25 AM
Can I ask a question?
If you went ona first date with someone you liked and had a relaxexed and easy couple of hours
arrange a second date just for breakfast at a cafe and you have a lovely time just chatting.
would you slap your date lightly on the bum, with a happy " see you later" kind of playful smack?

this happened to me a couple of years back, I brushed him off, thinking it too forward.
I liked the man. He was nice allthought worlds apart from what I expected in profession and interests.
p
maybe I'm just a little scared ive only had two partners ever, one for 5 years, one for 28 years.
Im a little lost in what men expect after two or three dates.
FCS, i was born in 59

It's not what I'd do. Being cautious is just plain old survival instinct and scared when anyone is worth it. Ps. Yr not seriously seeking validation from a bunch of strangers here are you?

Meli
12-26-2012, 07:28 AM
If ya can't whup 'em, why not join 'em? http://www.agirlandagunclub.com/
Oh piss off Hanley, I'm not in the mood.
I'm having a girly angst moment and talking to my big brothers.
I'll deal with you tomorrow :d:p

Meli
12-26-2012, 07:30 AM
It's not what I'd do. Being cautious is just plain old survival instinct and scared when anyone is worth it. Ps. Yr not seriously seeking validation from a bunch of strangers here are you?

Yeah, what you reckon you are for?
:D

hanleyclifford
12-26-2012, 07:32 AM
Oh piss off Hanley, I'm not in the mood.
I'm having a girly angst moment and talking to my big brothers.
I'll deal with you tomorrow :d:p You misunderstand! If you want to meet more men you have to go where they are and relate on their terms. It's a numbers game. Go where the quantity is for best selection. Best wishes, Hanley.

LeeG
12-26-2012, 07:32 AM
Hey, congrats on the house selling

Syed
12-26-2012, 07:36 AM
Oh piss off Hanley, I'm not in the mood.
I'm having a girly angst moment and talking to my big brothers.
I'll deal with you tomorrow :d:p

:D:D

LeeG
12-26-2012, 07:39 AM
Yeah, what you reckon you are for?
:D

Good question, work in progress I guess. My big breakups were when I was 20, 36, 56. I kinda gave up in my mid forties when Gayle got me. Felt like a few cobwebs had to be cleared away. Who knows what happens next. Just take care of yourself.

hanleyclifford
12-26-2012, 07:41 AM
Oh piss off Hanley, I'm not in the mood.
I'm having a girly angst moment and talking to my big brothers.
I'll deal with you tomorrow :d:p You need to examine new turf where fresh (ly) available men are to be found. How about the stock car races or even the church?l

Meli
12-26-2012, 07:43 AM
You misunderstand! If you want to meet more men you have to go where they are and relate on their terms. It's a numbers game. Go where the quantity is for best selection. Best wishes, Hanley.

well it appears they are all on the freekin internet. And I prefer quality to quantity
and I have found that a women that can relate on mens terms, although they are good mates, do not like women like me as a prospective partner. Strange old world innit?

John Smith
12-26-2012, 07:43 AM
I'm afraid this is an age old question. Holidays seem to be more drepressing than jolly.

You might try Parents Without Partners if they're still around.

I can wish you luck, but that's about all.

Meli
12-26-2012, 07:45 AM
You need to examine new turf where fresh (ly) available men are to be found. How about the stock car races or even the church?l

;Funny you should say that, the bloke I liked but smacked my arse, was in formula whatever racing
as for the church, well if I was to hang around there , they wounld assume I was into the idea. That would be deceitful.

Meli
12-26-2012, 07:47 AM
Heh, have you ever watched "about a boy" great movie:d

I'm not at all depressed, feeling very chirpy actually, this is just something I have to sort out ,and soon .
One thing I am is a very down to earth person, it's something I have to deal with if I dont want to spend my life alone, which would be a waste.

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 07:53 AM
Hey Meli... I was just heading off, but decided to plug a word into the search engine.... and there's your photo.

Looks like its 4 years or so back.

Wanna see it?

I'm not posting it unless you want to see it... be quick though

Meli
12-26-2012, 07:57 AM
The one with me and tne boy catching afish?
Sure
or anything else you found
except that one on TBS where I look half tanked in the orange jacket. Bad photo :D

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 08:00 AM
Nah didn't look there... nor did that earlier comment come from there (honest). I just plugged bikini into here... and got


http://i1201.photobucket.com/albums/bb350/selkie2/tn_view.jpg

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 08:00 AM
Nice legs

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 08:01 AM
Hmm... midnight. See ya.

Take care

Meli
12-26-2012, 08:07 AM
Thanks, that was taken on my 50 th birthday.

my how my little bloke has grown.

Meli
12-26-2012, 08:39 AM
Yer right.
I am a 53 yo with slim hips, a large front. No bum.
not too much grey hair. Currently hennad deep red
I enjoy light left wing political discussions
I have a small boat but cant sail it and am frightened of open water.
I have two teenagers at home.
If you offer genuinely racist comments, I,m liable to ask how many generations your folks have been here.
If you smack me on the bum after a second date, even if I like you I will prolly give you the flick (regardless of whether I REALLY like you)
I'll pack you a christmas stocking full of little presents and love. But will not put up with you insisting we go with your ultra christian mother to church, you may go on your own and meet me for sweets later.
I will happily concede that you need your own space as long as you stay out of my shed unless asked.:D
I well wear a thong, only if you do too

On reflection, I might stick this on my profile:D
what qd'you recon? Its totally honest. :D

Andrew Craig-Bennett
12-26-2012, 08:49 AM
Good idea.

Andrew Craig-Bennett
12-26-2012, 12:07 PM
If I may speak from my own experience, I found that I was "wrapped up in" and hugely resentful of my ex-wife, who after twenty years of marriage announced one morning that she no longer loved me, to which I of course replied that we should stay together for the children, then a week later she walked out and only after that did I discover there was anotherf man involved.

I stayed that way until I met Kay. Quite early on, she said that if she met Ruby she would rush up and give her a big hug, to thank her for making me available. As soon as she said that, I never gave Ruby and the last twenty years of my life another thought, and that allowed me to go through the divorce hassles with equanimity.

Now, men are different to women. In particular, it is considered shameful to have a wife walk out on you, but a wife whose husband walks out is seen differently, so it is easier for her to talk about it.

S.V. Airlie
12-26-2012, 12:32 PM
If you appear to be chasing a man don't be relaxed and neutral. I've been in one situation where I felt that I was being hunted and in someone's sights..She gave that impression and hey, I'm not the best looking. BUT I was single, never been married, had no baggage etc. A few other reasons I won't mention as they were my impression of this woman and petrified of being caught in a web. Yes, I could have been wrong, but I don't think so. She ended up marrying a 75 year old retired Doc. She was not 75 at the time.:)

Plumbtex
12-26-2012, 12:37 PM
I did the online dating thing for a bit and met some great women and was even quite keen about one of them, but was ultimatly nusuccsessful in my search for companionship there. One of the things that I found was that many, perhaps most of the women I met there were, below the surface, fundamentally unhappy and were pinning their hopes for happiness on a new fulfilling relationship. It just doesn't work that way, happiness is something you have to find in yourself. Once you find it you have a much better chance at a fulfilling relationship. I finally found "The One" doing the things that I enjoy and she was doing likewise. In Our case I was sailing with, my sister as crew, on The Texas 200, she was doing the same with her daughter. That was in '09 and we,ve hardly been apart since. We were married this year during the Texas 200 on the deserted shell beach in Aransas Bay where we first met. I would say get yourself out there doing the things you like and you will be much more likely to meet someone who is a good fit without having to sort through a whole pile of desperate sad sacks. And for the record, I'm 49 and Cathy is a bit older than me. (I hope she doesn't read this). As to your original question, from all I've read you sound like just the sort of person I would be attracted to.


Chris,
who's been there done that and come out happily on the other side

Joe (SoCal)
12-26-2012, 12:46 PM
Well online dating worked out for Renee & I . We have lots in common and she's only 5 years younger than me.

http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m320/fosterhere/e0e5363c.png

Give it a try, be honest and open and real, it works.

Hwyl
12-26-2012, 01:05 PM
I did the online dating thing for a bit and met some great women and was even quite keen about one of them, but was ultimatly nusuccsessful in my search for companionship there. One of the things that I found was that many, perhaps most of the women I met there were, below the surface, fundamentally unhappy and were pinning their hopes for happiness on a new fulfilling relationship. It just doesn't work that way, happiness is something you have to find in yourself. Once you find it you have a much better chance at a fulfilling relationship. I finally found "The One" doing the things that I enjoy and she was doing likewise. In Our case I was sailing with, my sister as crew, on The Texas 200, she was doing the same with her daughter. That was in '09 and we,ve hardly been apart since. We were married this year during the Texas 200 on the deserted shell beach in Aransas Bay where we first met. I would say get yourself out there doing the things you like and you will be much more likely to meet someone who is a good fit without having to sort through a whole pile of desperate sad sacks. And for the record, I'm 49 and Cathy is a bit older than me. (I hope she doesn't read this). As to your original question, from all I've read you sound like just the sort of person I would be attracted to.


Chris,
who's been there done that and come out happily on the other side


Great story, congratulations

Bobcat
12-26-2012, 01:17 PM
I am in the same boat: 52 and a 32 year relationship finally completely collapsed. I have not done the online dating thing. I guess you have to figure what is completely unacceptable. For me, it would be a woman who wants children. I have two kids and have no interest in starting over with a new family at my age.

Peter Malcolm Jardine
12-26-2012, 01:34 PM
Meli, I see a lot of processes floating around in you.\


First, regardless of how bad a relationship was, or how bad it became, there was love there to start with. When you break up, and know that's the right thing to do, it doesn't mean you don't grieve. You also lose a lot of routine, even if it was a bad routine. We are creatures of routine, and a disruption, even from the ordinary or the bad, is a disruption.

Second, it's hard to have to reinvent yourself as a sexual being later in life. In a long term relationship, those borders become more fuzzy, more comfortable in the context of regularity and routine. It isn't all bad tho... you do rediscover yourself in different ways when you get free from a relationship that was not good, and you find out how 'not good' it really was in the process. That takes some time

Third, you have baggage, and you're a package. Baggage is what you have experienced, and what you've endured. Some of it you have to leave at the airport, but some of it also give you an idea of what you don't want, which is probably easier to define than what you do want.
The package part is easy: You are going to be understandably sensitive about the needs, emotional well being and safety of your kids. That's normal, but usually your kids can adapt to new things better than you can. They don't have all the intensely adult relationship baggage remember... they're kids.

Hey, go out on some dates. You do that knowing full well (based on all your posts here) of what is important to you, and what the boundaries are. Just don't cast everything in stone, go with your gut, but give your gut time to process all the newness of the situation.

You're sensible, sensitive, and self sufficient. That isn't in question (at least for me) Be nice to yourself. A lot of things will change, and a lot of things will get better too.

Meli
12-26-2012, 04:03 PM
Thanks Guys,
Theres a lot of wisdom in these posts and a bit of an eye opener.
Seems men and women aren't so different.
Unless my emotions are more bloke like than girl like:d then I could be in trouble
I've hung around blokes for platonic relationships all my life. Maybe you've rubbed off on me like a dog that hangs around cats. :d

Chip-skiff
12-26-2012, 08:59 PM
We might be mirror-images, since I've preferred the company of women most of my life. But that's because I find women more interesting, not only because I'm physically attracted, but because they're better at talking about what interests me.

Since you asked for a response, I think you are starved for attention: intelligent and decent attention. In return for that, you seem willing to endure crap from the members who dump their own problems with women along with assorted "wisdom" on you. We both know who I mean.

You've posted about problems including you mad ex-husband, ill and ungrateful relatives, etc. and received quite a lot of sympathy along with the crap. But I think most reasonable men might be wary of taking on the whole slate of troubles.

So my advice is to be more discreet in exchanges with men who intererst you. Let them get a taste of you first, before having to swallow a bucket of grief.

With luck, you'll find someone who cares for you and is willing to assume the liabilities. But for heaven's sake don't lead off the acquaintance with a litany of troubles.

skipper68
12-26-2012, 09:14 PM
Without reading a word on this thread-You are compassionate, FUN, worried, adamant and honest. Luv ya Meli. <3 conscience and a -Kick Assers_is where we are people of. JMHO. XO.
I wouldn't ask the opinion of most on this sight. You have BRAVE to ask .....I would only respect very few opinions.

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 09:53 PM
We might be mirror-images, since I've preferred the company of women most of my life. But that's because I find women more interesting, not only because I'm physically attracted, but because they're better at talking about what interests me.

Since you asked for a response, I think you are starved for attention: intelligent and decent attention. In return for that, you seem willing to endure crap from the members who dump their own problems with women along with assorted "wisdom" on you. We both know who I mean.

You've posted about problems including you mad ex-husband, ill and ungrateful relatives, etc. and received quite a lot of sympathy along with the crap. But I think most reasonable men might be wary of taking on the whole slate of troubles.

So my advice is to be more discreet in exchanges with men who intererst you. Let them get a taste of you first, before having to swallow a bucket of grief.

With luck, you'll find someone who cares for you and is willing to assume the liabilities. But for heaven's sake don't lead off the acquaintance with a litany of troubles.



For once you've come up with a couple of decent comments... its just a pity you had to slip the bitter pills in with it as well. Situation normal for you.

Yep... a guy looking for a interesting time with a woman isn't going to be over-keen if he picks up a whole heap of angst and troubles.

When the subject comes up, remember the KISS principle. "Yep, tried that (marriage) once and got two great kids out of it, but he's long gone"... would about cover it.... then get onto something interesting. Unload on existing friends... that's what they're for... not on new ones.

As a matter of interest, I hooked up with a lot of single women over the last 16 months on the road (well, 11 on the road, 5 at home).... and it was easy and pleasant... probably because I wasn't trying to bed them. My marital status was raised plenty of times... no lies were told and I've made some great friends. IF I'd been single... or into telling lies... many of those encounters could have gone a lot further. As it is, I've made a lot of new (platonic) friends.

Like I said earlier.... you've got to be out and about for anything to happen though.

Meli
12-26-2012, 09:58 PM
oh really, you don't think I share my worries with anyone I actually know do you:rolleyes::d cept girlfriends.

a couple of the men I dated never shut up about their exs, or their work problems, or even their tax return issues.

Im not that dumb and have absolutly no intention of dumping my burdens on a new partner, now or ever.
I carry my own bags thanks:cool:

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 09:59 PM
The main point there was....

.... get off the 'puter.

Go find a real man

Keith Wilson
12-26-2012, 10:00 PM
I hooked up with a lot of single women . . . Word of caution - in current US young people's slang, this means unequivocally that you went to bed with them. Not what you meant, of course, but it might lead to misunderstandings.

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 10:01 PM
Word of caution - in current US young people's slang, this means unequivocally that you went to bed with them. Not what you meant, of course, but it might lead to misunderstandings.

The dirty young buggers.

Meli
12-26-2012, 10:08 PM
The main point there was....

.... get off the 'puter.

Go find a real man
when ive sold my house and got anew place, thats exactly what I'll do.

skipper68
12-26-2012, 10:10 PM
You epitomize my request to Scot.
BF, you're an arrogant, full of yourself bully.
You chase down every comment she makes, and makes it personal.
You chase EVERY female about this forum, being the same way.
You slammed me, as I love the OZ folkboat being "Scamp's". You told ME "it" was "Man Juice:.
Leave Meli alone and start chasing my comments.
I'm bored and your a Big meanie. LET'S PLAY. XO :p I'm working on getting the BANNED flag now.

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 10:15 PM
BF, you're an arrogant, full of yourself bully.
You chase down every comment she makes, and makes it personal.
You chase EVERY female about this forum, being the same way.
You slammed me, as I love the OZ folkboat being "Scamp's". You told ME "it" was "Man Juice:.
Leave Meli alone and start chasing my comments.
I'm bored and your a Big meanie. LET'S PLAY. XO :p


What on earth are you on about?

Um, Meli.... am I bullying you?

The Bigfella
12-26-2012, 10:19 PM
Actually, I think Skip's somewhat off-beam post illustrates the point I was making perfectly. If she can interepret the posts I've made on this thread as bullying... just how accurate an impression do you think you'll ever get of an individual over the net?

Chip-skiff
12-26-2012, 10:53 PM
For once you've come up with a couple of decent comments... its just a pity you had to slip the bitter pills in with it as well. Situation normal for you.

Don't recall mentioning your name, but I've got a few words for you, mate: vile, vengeful, vicious (and that's just the V's.)

For a start, shouldn't you take the quote from Farfalla out of your signature line? She's gone and you are still with us. Or do you relish your enduring bitterness?

RodB
12-26-2012, 10:55 PM
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e239/Prestoboat/May%202012%20uploads/Melicolorartfix-1.jpg

Just playing around... in photoshop...

RodB

Keith Wilson
12-26-2012, 11:16 PM
Geez, guys, this is Meli's thread, right? Take it outside, please. http://forums.snapstream.com/vb/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

Meli here's a considered response, with a couple of disclaimers: First, this is the internet, and I only know what you write, which is partial at best. Second, I have no experience at all thinking like a guy on a dating site, since I got incredibly lucky 32 years ago when I was young and clueless.

All in all you seem like a rather delightful person, intelligent, a good sense of humor, neither too stoic nor too whiny, a good sense of balance, and fundamentally kind; that last is very important. You're still getting over a painful divorce (is there any other kind?) which is hard on anyone, and makes new relationships harder to navigate. Your calibration may be off for a while. Don't be in too much of a hurry and definitely don't put up with any schmucks; there are plenty of good guys out there. I wouldn't worry too much; you'll do fine. Y>

Durnik
12-27-2012, 12:04 AM
http://forum.woodenboat.com/images/misc/quote_icon.png Originally Posted by Chip-skiff http://forum.woodenboat.com/images/buttons/viewpost-right.png (http://forum.woodenboat.com/showthread.php?p=3640401#post3640401)

...




For once you've come up with a couple of decent comments... its just a pity you had to slip the bitter pills in with it as well. Situation normal for you.

..



Interesting.. I look forward to Chip-skiff's comments as they are usually worthy of consideration. I enjoy seeing your comments as I am sure they will be 'more of the same'.. Yep, again, ya didn't dis-appoint me! More of the same! Be nice if you would get over yourself.

Who am I kidding. You're all about how wonderful you are!


RodB, I like that. Nice, thanks.


and Meli?, what Peter, Keith & a few others said!

enjoy
bobby

Meli
12-27-2012, 12:51 AM
What on earth are you on about?

Um, Meli.... am I bullying you?

no your are not.
Sorry skippy but in this instance you have hold of the wrong end of the stick.
The only way to deal with Ian in mean mode is to ignore him when he's bad, and reward him when he's good.
Just like training a naughty pup. :D

Meli
12-27-2012, 12:54 AM
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e239/Prestoboat/May%202012%20uploads/Melicolorartfix-1.jpg

Just playing around... in photoshop...

RodB
Thank you Rod, thats the only "studio" portrait Ive ever had :D

The Bigfella
12-27-2012, 12:55 AM
no your are not.
Sorry skippy but in this instance you have hold of the wrong end of the stick.
The only way to deal with Ian in mean mode is to ignore him when he's bad, and reward him when he's good.
Just like training a naughty pup. :D


I prefer to be patted. (I was going to say something else, but the way people's minds work here.... I'm not up to it)

Meli
12-27-2012, 12:58 AM
I prefer to be patted. (I was going to say something else, but the way people's minds work here.... I'm not up to it)

LOL

Hunky Dory
12-27-2012, 01:45 AM
Good luck Meli, You sound like a smart lady with a good sense of humor that is probably the two best things to have,the slim figure is just a bonus. I don't know anything about internet dating as my wife and I be married 24 years next month. But just by being a part of a couple different forums on the net I think I would stay away from it for meeting a serious partner. It is to easy for people to be what they want to be instead of who they are.
Get out with friends and just enjoy life , you will know when you meet someone that interests you. It might be one of your kid's teachers or the guy that fixes your car. Never be afraid to tell someone if they do something that bothers you (my wife still does and I am glad) Men cannot read minds we need to be told. Again good luck it is time for me to get back out of the bilge.

Andrew Craig-Bennett
12-27-2012, 02:35 AM
I read somewhere, recently, that we British are the most enthusiastic users of Internet dating services - but then we are also the world's leading Internet shoppers! The latter is put down to us trusting our postal service more than most - but that cannot apply to the former!

Certainly I've got happily married friends who met on the Net.

purri
12-27-2012, 05:18 AM
Meli,

FWIW you are being held as an EMOTIONAL hostage (in part) by your offspring. Once they reach at least 16 you might care to cut them loose by degrees and I'm confident that you have plans in place. Just don't let them play the usual "parental guilt" card eh?

Meli
12-27-2012, 05:23 AM
Hey, we are a family unit.
they've suffered enough trauma with cancer issues and physical disabilities. Let alone their dads idiocy.
they need support.
but they would be more than happy withme gettinganew partner.

Curtism
12-27-2012, 05:37 AM
Cuz, when Mama ain't happy . . . |:(

:D

Syed
12-27-2012, 05:41 AM
http://i1201.photobucket.com/albums/bb350/selkie2/tn_view.jpg

Meli, That's a lovely 'mother n son' picture. I hope the kid completely recovered from that injury.

Meli
12-27-2012, 05:43 AM
No syed, thats a birth defect.
he's just had op number 5 to try and correct it.
hes a stoic

bamamick
12-27-2012, 09:27 AM
You seem to me to be a very brave person, to put yourself out there the way you do. Most of us enjoy coming here because it gives us a chance to talk to like-minded people, or in some cases, to speak with people from completely different backrounds and upbringing, to learn a new and different point of view. In my 'real life' I am a pretty shy and quiet person, but here I have shared a lot more of my true self than the people who know me at home would ever expect (or most likely, understand). Even so, even having said all of that, very few of us want our flaws exposed or THAT much of our true selves exposed to the world. I think you are pretty brave to do things the way you do.

Mickey Lake

Keith Wilson
12-27-2012, 09:31 AM
Men cannot read minds we need to be told.Y> Not just men. The first law of relationships: People are not telepathic. If you want your partner to know something, you have to say it out loud.

Art Read
12-27-2012, 04:00 PM
This can be a friendly place. But it's just the internet. Go out. Just open up a little in person. Meet for coffee. Get a little silly in a bar without walking out with strangers. Join a cause. Don't talk politics. It has very little to do with animal magnetism.

I am a shallow, somewhat sexist, not very attractive introvert. Yet I have had several very fulfilling relationships over the years. The best one currently. She knows my faults, (I didn't hide them...) I know hers.

I wasn't looking for a new relationship when she appeared. Her either. That's how it's always been with me. Never got anywhere when I was horny and trying too hard...

You seem an interesting personality. Relax. If you just be yourself, somebody who belongs with you will notice.

(Being afraid of open water in a small, open boat is no sin. But not learning to sail it is. Learn. Great way to meet people...)

.

Art Read
12-27-2012, 04:39 PM
Yeah, I know that deep down.
Im just suffering from the no time ,no money ,no desperately driving force syndrome and you cant meet people unless you get out.
Too proud and cynical for singles bars.
not the type for desparately picking up randomly in ordinary bars .
shrug

53 is a bad age to be a single woman who WILL NOT doll herself up, lie and go out clubbing for a hopeful pickup.

yet here I am, naturally slim, long legs, good figure (for even the average 45 yo )wasting my life away
happy personality, not a fuss pot about shopping, housework, handy in the shed, competent, independent, self reliant and self supporting reasonably well read and not quite a bimbo totally loyal and generous. pout.
pisses me off

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


(I'm fifty... So is my lover. Never makeup. Always beautiful, A little grey. I'm a lot. She's gorgeous. A horse woman. You should see her walk through her barn. Like a captain on her quarterdeck. Not rich, not arrogant, just taking care of her horse by boarding others...)

"Hay, grain and rent!!"

Thery're out there....

Art Read
12-27-2012, 04:59 PM
Hey, i've tried
people of my age are mainly happily married or never married.
I wish I'd left the marriage 10 years ago like most .
I had my kids late, not a lot of women left single with a 12 year old when they are 50
OK, I'm finally ranting about the unfairness of it all.
he's off with a new partner and Im stuck here, getting old with two kids that need support.
ITS NOT FAIR.
:D ok dummy spit over but any tips will help

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +

These folks listened to me when I divorced after building a little sailboat with lots of help from these pages. Five years I worked on it. I was devastated at the time Lost the boat. It sucked. Almost killed me. Life now is better than ever. It's a roller coaster. Patience....

(Notice I don't dwell on the "ex"? She's okay. I'm okay. We get along. I just miss the boat... Thank God we didn't have kids...)

Chris-on-the-Boat
12-27-2012, 09:42 PM
Rule number one...get a good boat dog. My boat dog, Angus the Chesapeake Bay Retriever, knows more about human psychology than most tweed-wearing MSW graduates. He is literally the only one who has ever entered into a "till death do us part" relationship with me and meant it. I've met a few really great girls based on his good looks and rugged charm. And he loves to hang out and do all the things I like to do: fish the ocean, bend planks in the yard, prospect for gold in the rockies, eat an elk steak over a camp fire, and drink rum whilst singing Newfoundland folk songs. He's a hell of a folk singer, too - used to sit on a barstool and howl whaling and sealing songs for bowls of beer in a bar in Wyoming... When you have a best friend as good as a boat dog, you're invincible, and won't be looking to some person you haven't met to make you feel complete. They can either join you and the dog and enjoy life, or keep stumbling along in their own trajectory, otherwise known as 'not your problem'. Best of luck all - C.

Keith Wilson
12-27-2012, 09:48 PM
You have a dog that drinks rum and sings Newfoundland folk songs? WOW! How much rum do you have to drink before he starts singing? :d

Chris-on-the-Boat
12-27-2012, 10:39 PM
He starts singing upon hearing his favourite songs, with or without rum - Stan Rogers, Great Big Sea, Dick Nolan, Shanneygannock, and even Mark Knopfler and Johny Winter. But with rum, he really belts it out....I'm very luck that he chose me at the doggie adoptions eleven years ago...