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Phillip Allen
09-21-2012, 03:12 PM
Works full time as a Wal mart manager

Has a 19 year old dysfunctional daughter living at home

lost another daughter to a car wreck

Has a 13 year old daughter who is trying to get into Julliard

Has a mechanically challenged husband who has been unemployed for over a year (back to work now)

A big house that NO ONE helps to take care of (unless it’s her mother or me)

Is expected to cook, wash and fold laundry and take her daughter back and forth to song and dance lessons, go to school functions and make a fuss over

She has body problems (spent the other night at hospital where they fed her morphine, apparently)

She is trying to deal with the financial disaster that has beset them in the last year.

Her husband gets all bent out of shape if she won’t sit and watch TV shows that she doesn’t like with him (his only understanding of ‘family time’)

Goes to bed late and gets up early

Feeds the chickens, cats, dogs and horses that NO ONE else takes care of

Deals with her alcoholic brother who comes over and scares hell out of everyone and otherwise abuses them and many other burdens…



Thanks for your support

Bobby of Tulsa
09-21-2012, 03:37 PM
Phillip, I feel your pain. You know you are always welcome at my house, or to call me day or night.

bamamick
09-21-2012, 04:19 PM
Sounds like a tough go of it, Phillip. I am sorry to hear that she is so stressed (you didn't say it, but it's implied).

Where you guys live it seems like this time of year would be great for a nice walk in the hills somewhere. Do you have anywhere nice like that around you? Yeah, I figured you did.

Mickey Lake

Bobby of Tulsa
09-21-2012, 04:22 PM
He could go here, bout a 1/2 hour from him. Prolly not as much water this year. http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b241/Bobby450/drippingsprings1.jpg

John Smith
09-21-2012, 07:48 PM
My daughter is home from work with really bad pain that they've been unable to find the cause of.

It ain't easy. Nobody ever said it was easy, and they sure knew what they weren't talking about.

McMike
09-21-2012, 07:54 PM
Two things Phillip:

First; I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.

Second; read carefully. "Life is a game we play and we play it well, in fact we're so damn good that we try to lose."

BrianW
09-21-2012, 08:20 PM
She sounds like a saint.

I wish her life were easier.

McMike
09-21-2012, 08:28 PM
She sounds like a saint.

I wish her life were easier.

The problem with many saints is that they were also martyrs. Martyrs do no one any good, especially not themselves.

skipper68
09-21-2012, 09:40 PM
McMike-BINGO! {Two things Phillip:

First; I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.

Second; read carefully. "Life is a game we play and we play it well, in fact we're so damn good that we try to lose." (I have no quote Again.)The problem with a GOOD woman, is they will work themselves to the bone to make everything right, unselfishly.{She sounds like a saint.

I wish her life were easier.
The problem with many saints is that they were also martyrs. Martyrs do no one any good, especially not themselves. } So true. Witness meli's thread. At some point, they "Break" and understand that the break is a wakeup call. I hope it is peaceful.
I know of which I speak. I was very lucky. Be there for her and the kids. XO

Phillip Allen
09-21-2012, 09:48 PM
McMike-BINGO! {Two things Phillip:

First; I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.

Second; read carefully. "Life is a game we play and we play it well, in fact we're so damn good that we try to lose." (I have no quote Again.)The problem with a GOOD woman, is they will work themselves to the bone to make everything right, unselfishly.{She sounds like a saint.

I wish her life were easier.
The problem with many saints is that they were also martyrs. Martyrs do no one any good, especially not themselves. } So true. Witness meli's thread. At some point, they "Break" and understand that the break is a wakeup call. I hope it is peaceful.
I know of which I speak. I was very lucky. Be there for her and the kids. XO

I've been helping out in small things for a long time... Meghan practically moves in with me in the summer... mainly so she and her sister won't kill one another... Meghan (at this point) will fight a buzz saw and give it half a dozen turns heads start. she is one mean little leprecon

skipper68
09-21-2012, 10:05 PM
Perfect.:D Enjoy their company, but ask what SHE needs to make her life easier. Sometimes it is such a small gesture. Your a great Dad and Grandpa.:D Enjoy the company and just be open to her stress levels.:)

epoxyboy
09-22-2012, 02:15 AM
Works full time as a Wal mart manager

Has a 19 year old dysfunctional daughter living at home

lost another daughter to a car wreck

Has a 13 year old daughter who is trying to get into Julliard

Has a mechanically challenged husband who has been unemployed for over a year (back to work now)

A big house that NO ONE helps to take care of (unless it’s her mother or me)

Is expected to cook, wash and fold laundry and take her daughter back and forth to song and dance lessons, go to school functions and make a fuss over

She has body problems (spent the other night at hospital where they fed her morphine, apparently)

She is trying to deal with the financial disaster that has beset them in the last year.

Her husband gets all bent out of shape if she won’t sit and watch TV shows that she doesn’t like with him (his only understanding of ‘family time’)

Goes to bed late and gets up early

Feeds the chickens, cats, dogs and horses that NO ONE else takes care of

Deals with her alcoholic brother who comes over and scares hell out of everyone and otherwise abuses them and many other burdens…



Thanks for your support
Sounds like your daughter needs to get a bit bent out of shape herself, and tell her husband to pull his finger out of his ass.

Pete

skipper68
09-22-2012, 02:23 AM
Well, I tried to be a bit more gracious about that. Your opinion works for me.:(

epoxyboy
09-22-2012, 02:54 AM
Yeah, we'll sometimes you just need to call a spade a spade. I have told my daughter that if some Neanderthal male ever lays a finger on her, to leave. Now. And don't go back - if he can't handle the truth, he isn't worth it, and he won't change.
Sometimes adults need tough love too.

Pete

Hwyl
09-22-2012, 04:32 AM
I disagree, your animosity towards your son in law shows through
mechanically challenged husband, you have to learn to accept your son in law. I tend to judge people by their blue collar skills too, and it is a mistake.

As for the 19 year old, she must have been deeply affected by her sister's death, was it 5 years ago now? I hope she can sort her life out.

Let me know if I can help in some way

Peerie Maa
09-22-2012, 04:42 AM
Philip
You might want to read this, then consider giving it to your daughter to read. http://www.amazon.com/Games-People-Play-Psychology-Relationships/dp/0141040270/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348303238&sr=1-1&keywords=games+people+play+the+psychology+of+human +relationships

John Smith
09-22-2012, 06:30 AM
Well, I tried to be a bit more gracious about that. Your opinion works for me.:(

Tread carefully. Lending a helping hand and sticking your nose in are two different things.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is simply ask, "What can I do to help?"

"Attacking" hubby may just put her in a defensive mode and create more problems.

Phillip Allen
09-22-2012, 06:45 AM
awake at 0400.... I laid in bed and thought my thoughts

With a shriek of delight, Sarah turns and totters back around the front of the car her Dad is washing. She giggles and comes back around to get into the mist from the hose he is using to wash the soap off the fenders. It is a bright Sunday and she is playing with her father in the yard. Sarah has been walking for about a month or so now and is pleased with herself and everything in the world

Now, Sarah is closing on 42 years since a bright California summer and energy and laughter and simple happiness

Yesterday, I became annoyed with another man who is able (like we all are) to see across that down-slope pile of life gone by and wonder at some current mistake. But, I, who am standing in that heap of life am more aware of it’s accumulation and see it differently.

And now, at four in the morning, am remembering a sun-lit day long ago when the mistakes of the future were not visible. It is a very pleasant memory

I am glad, thanks, Glen.

John Smith
09-22-2012, 06:58 AM
awake at 0400.... I laid in bed and thought my thoughts

With a shriek of delight, Sarah turns and totters back around the front of the car her Dad is washing. She giggles and comes back around to get into the mist from the hose he is using to wash the soap off the fenders. It is a bright Sunday and she is playing with her father in the yard. Sarah has been walking for about a month or so now and is pleased with herself and everything in the world

Now, Sarah is closing on 42 years since a bright California summer and energy and laughter and simple happiness

Yesterday, I became annoyed with another man who is able (like we all are) to see across that down-slope pile of life gone by and wonder at some current mistake. But, I, who am standing in that heap of life am more aware of it’s accumulation and see it differently.

And now, at four AM in the morning, am remembering a sun-lit day long ago when the mistakes of the future were not visible. It is a very pleasant memory

I am glad, thanks, Glen.

Touching post.

I'm not a religious man, but I remember that short piece about knowing what you can do and what you can't do and the wisdom to know the difference.

I also remember "No news is good news" which took me a while to figure out. No news is when things go the way we expect or like sans any unexpected event. The boat deciding to sink is news.

Today we go to Waterfront Park where the Trenton Thunder (Yankees minor league team) play and see my grandson and his team play. This is the second time his team has played there. Good memories.

I once read a very wise statement from a Playmate: The constitution guarantees us the right to pursue happiness, not to catch it.

I think we go in phases. At least I do. Some days it is easy to think about the good things and have a more positive outlook. Other days the bad things really drag me down. Sometimes there's an interconnection; a circular interconnection. Loss of sleep can make all this harder to deal with, and dealing with stuff can cause loss of sleep. Then one is either depressed because he is tired, or he is tired because he's depressed.

McMike
09-22-2012, 08:19 AM
T
awake at 0400.... I laid in bed and thought my thoughts

With a shriek of delight, Sarah turns and totters back around the front of the car her Dad is washing. She giggles and comes back around to get into the mist from the hose he is using to wash the soap off the fenders. It is a bright Sunday and she is playing with her father in the yard. Sarah has been walking for about a month or so now and is pleased with herself and everything in the world

Now, Sarah is closing on 42 years since a bright California summer and energy and laughter and simple happiness

Yesterday, I became annoyed with another man who is able (like we all are) to see across that down-slope pile of life gone by and wonder at some current mistake. But, I, who am standing in that heap of life am more aware of it’s accumulation and see it differently.

And now, at four in the morning, am remembering a sun-lit day long ago when the mistakes of the future were not visible. It is a very pleasant memory

I am glad, thanks, Glen.


Phillip . . . You're a good man.

Bobby of Tulsa
09-23-2012, 11:30 AM
awake at 0400.... I laid in bed and thought my thoughts

With a shriek of delight, Sarah turns and totters back around the front of the car her Dad is washing. She giggles and comes back around to get into the mist from the hose he is using to wash the soap off the fenders. It is a bright Sunday and she is playing with her father in the yard. Sarah has been walking for about a month or so now and is pleased with herself and everything in the world

Now, Sarah is closing on 42 years since a bright California summer and energy and laughter and simple happiness

Yesterday, I became annoyed with another man who is able (like we all are) to see across that down-slope pile of life gone by and wonder at some current mistake. But, I, who am standing in that heap of life am more aware of it’s accumulation and see it differently.

And now, at four in the morning, am remembering a sun-lit day long ago when the mistakes of the future were not visible. It is a very pleasant memory

I am glad, thanks, Glen. Phillip you brought back a good thought to me, about 61 years ago.http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b241/Bobby450/bobunclebud_zpsfc7d4a78.jpg

Phillip Allen
09-23-2012, 11:32 AM
ain't it amazin how that works sometimes... that could be me and Sarah :):):)

Bobby of Tulsa
09-23-2012, 11:34 AM
ain't it amazin how that works sometimes... that could be me and Sarah :):):)
Thats why I posted it. It took me a while to find it. Good luck with things.