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View Full Version : I did something fun with a couple of door to door types today



Phillip Allen
07-28-2012, 09:36 PM
I saw them coming up the drive. Two Jehovahís witlessís. so, I engaged them at the back door and kept them talking for about 15 minutes. Until they figured out that I was screwing with them. They, then, beat a hasty retreat.

What fun!

leikec
07-28-2012, 09:37 PM
I saw them coming up the drive. Two Jehovah’s witless’s. so, I engaged them at the back door and kept them talking for about 15 minutes. Until they figured out that I was screwing with them. They, then, beat a hasty retreat.

What fun!


At least you didn't sit on them....

Jeff C

wardd
07-28-2012, 09:56 PM
they were adults and could fight back

Glen Longino
07-28-2012, 10:53 PM
"I was screwing with them"...

Kinda like you do around here, right?
And then whine about it when somebody calls you out on it?
Small thrills for high IQs, I reckon!

Chris Coose
07-28-2012, 11:10 PM
At least you didn't sit on them....



Or step aside to allow them to see the arsenal.

2MeterTroll
07-28-2012, 11:17 PM
hey now door to door evangelicals are fair game.

Glen Longino
07-28-2012, 11:19 PM
hey now door to door evangelicals are fair game.

So is Phillip!;):)

skuthorp
07-29-2012, 03:07 AM
I subverted a couple of young mormons once and took them skiing. Once they worked out I was a complete unbeliever they sort of relaxed. Seemed mostly attuned to conversions from other franchises to theirs. Nice young blokes, could ski really well too.

John Smith
07-29-2012, 09:44 AM
When I was 21 or so I was visiting my 20 year old friend at his home. He was the oldest of 5 siblings, and they all had friends over. There were a lot of kids in that house. I answered the doorbell to find a couple of these idiots. As they looked in they asked me, "Are these all your children?" (proving the "idiot" part). My friend immediately walks up and says, "Hey, Pop, can I have my allowance?"

I find their occasional visits interesting, as they generally welcome questions. They seem quite unable to answer mine, which begin with, "Why does it matter if there's a God?"

Gerarddm
07-29-2012, 10:44 AM
I had a Mormon roommate freshman year at Rhode Island School of Design, 1966. If any art school was the living epitome of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll it was RISD. I can't imagine why his high school guidance counselor or family thought it was a good choice. He lasted until Christmas break and never returned.

I had two female Jehovah's Witnesses come to the door once, midde aged lady and the other a very pretty young thing, clearly a set up. They start blathering as I stand there like a unsmiling cigar store Indian,and finally,still having said nothing to them, I slowly raise my arm, palm out, in a sort of cease-and desist gesture, and they finally stop. Looking very serious, I say slowly, "I am not the kind of person you can be talking safely too". They beat a hasty retreat, LOL.

tigerregis
07-29-2012, 11:21 AM
I just ask them to explain the epistemology of St.John the Divine and I'll sign up. They look at each other and bugger off.

Rich Jones
07-29-2012, 12:10 PM
I'm far from perfect, but I'm not rude either. These are good people doing something they believe in. When they knock on the door, I politely tell them I'm a happy little Episcopalian and simply close the door. Speaking with them makes no sense unless you're searching for spiritual answers yourself.
You've got to give them credit for perserverence. In my old neighborhood on Long Island, N.Y., they could visit lots of folks and have to walk or travel only a small distance. Now that I live out in the sticks of Vermont, miles from nowhere, they still show up!

John Smith
07-29-2012, 12:40 PM
Bravo for you. I'm of the same mindset.
I have a different spiritual belief than they do but there is no way I would have the personal conviction and fortitude to cold call sell my religion. I give them credit for that and I've never had them be pushy when I politiey told them I was not interested. My company does some business with the JH people at their buildings and I've found them to be fair and honest people to deal with.
They have my respect.
The nice thing about atheists is they have never knocked on my door to try to sell me their product.

David W Pratt
07-29-2012, 02:12 PM
You could ask them if you could participate in the animal sacrifice.

Concordia...41
07-29-2012, 03:03 PM
I'm far from perfect, but I'm not rude either. These are good people doing something they believe in. When they knock on the door, I politely tell them I'm a happy little Episcopalian and simply close the door. Speaking with them makes no sense unless you're searching for spiritual answers yourself.
You've got to give them credit for perserverence. In my old neighborhood on Long Island, N.Y., they could visit lots of folks and have to walk or travel only a small distance. Now that I live out in the sticks of Vermont, miles from nowhere, they still show up!

Yep. I tell them that they have my admiration for what they are doing and the fact that they believe in something strongly enough to walk up to a stranger's door. Then I tell them my beliefs and soul are for my own determination and politely shut the door.

Concordia...41
07-29-2012, 03:05 PM
... My company does some business with the JH people at their buildings and I've found them to be fair and honest people to deal with.


I also have a fair amount of contact with several companies owned by JW. Those of us on the outside call their ability to hire and insulate other JWs, the "Witness Protection Program" - but they're privately owed companies and they can favor who they want...

Phillip Allen
07-29-2012, 03:06 PM
Yep. I tell them that they have my admiration for what they are doing and the fact that they believe in something strongly enough to walk up to a stranger's door. Then I tell them my beliefs and soul are for my own determination.

I was nice the first zillion times they showed up...

Concordia...41
07-29-2012, 03:08 PM
I was nice the first zillion times they showed up...

I get two or three a year. The guys with pizza coupons come around more often. Now with an election coming up, there's that bunch ringing the bell. Again, you couldn't pay me enough to 'cold sell' religion or politics, but I won't be rude or toy with them.

Phillip Allen
07-29-2012, 03:09 PM
I get two or three a year. The guys with pizza coupons come around more often. Now with an election coming up, there's that bunch ringing the bell. Again, you couldn't pay me enough to 'cold sell' religion or politics, but I won't be rude or toy with them.

you'rfe a better person then me... I will be rude

Paul Pless
07-29-2012, 03:12 PM
Yep. I tell them that they have my admiration for what they are doing and the fact that they believe in something strongly enough to walk up to a stranger's door. Then I tell them my beliefs and soul are for my own determination and politely shut the door.

We have a ****load of rottweilers. Not many brave them to knock on our door unsolicited. Which is kind of funny because most of my dogs are real pushovers. By way of example, recently Katherine was pulled over by a state trooper with this vicious bitch in the back seat. She slept through the entire episode. . .

http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg239/PaulPless/DSC_0020.jpg

Concordia...41
07-29-2012, 03:26 PM
you'rfe a better person then me... I will be rude

Could be they sense a soul in need of saving :D

Glen Longino
07-29-2012, 03:29 PM
Could be they sense a soul in need of saving :D

Could be I pay them to go to his house every couple of weeks!:D

Shang
07-29-2012, 03:46 PM
When I was in graduate school, looking for a quiet place to write my dissertation I rented a farm house, which I later discovered was a country mile or two down the road from a whole nest of some holly roller nut sect. Someone tipped them off that An Unsaved had just moved into the previously uninhabited farm house practically in the shadow of their Mother Church. They took my presence as a challenge, and showed up on my doorstep two or three times a week, and attempt with much vigor to explain the glory of becoming a Follower of the Undecipherable Scroll.

Politeness did not dissuade them, nor did ordinary door slamming. So the next time they came proselytizing I just stood quietly in the doorway...

...removing my clothing, one garment at a time.

They never came back.

Tom Montgomery
07-29-2012, 04:25 PM
I just tell them that I attend St. Francis of Assisi Roman Catholic Church and if the pastor there approves I will be happy to talk with them.

seanz
07-29-2012, 08:27 PM
"I will apologize for being deliberately obtuse"

Now that'd be a real shock.



:D

Phillip Allen
07-29-2012, 08:31 PM
Now there's a shock.

well, now, think about it... going to someone's house and trying to sell them something is rude to begin with. I asked them what they were selling and they said they weren't selling anything... I despise liars so right there they got off on the wrong foot. I corrected the 'modern' bible they showed me and that upset them. I mentioned all the names for 'God' that I could think of and that upset them. I questioned the angle of their pitch (the pitch they lied about) then told them I intended to engage them long enough to let my neighbors escape and that was where they decided to leave.

seanz
07-29-2012, 08:34 PM
told them I intended to engage them long enough to let my neighbors escape and that was where they decided to leave.

I'm usually nice to religious callers, I reckon their life must be hard enough already. But that is brilliant. :D

bobbys
07-29-2012, 09:21 PM
OK Phillip but no beeching from you when you are not among the 144 thousand making it upstairs..

Dont say you wuz not warned!

Nicholas Carey
07-29-2012, 10:05 PM
I saw them coming up the drive. Two Jehovah’s witless’s. so, I engaged them at the back door and kept them talking for about 15 minutes. Until they figured out that I was screwing with them. They, then, beat a hasty retreat.

What fun!

I have a friend back in Ohio who's standard practice is to invite them in, with the proviso that he's got chore's to do, but they're welcome to talk while he works.
.
.
.
Then he pulls out the M1911-A1, strips it down and starts to clean it.

They usually don't stay too terribly long.

:D

Glen Longino
07-29-2012, 10:16 PM
Now there's a shock.

I'm damn near dumbfounded!
Never in a million years would I have thought Phillip would.....

Glen Longino
07-29-2012, 10:21 PM
OK Phillip but no beeching from you when you are not among the 144 thousand making it upstairs..

Dont say you wuz not warned!

Good news, you and Phillip are both among the 144,000!
I've got your tickets right here.
Sooner you leave, sooner you get to Heaven...Adios mi compadres!
I'll tell everybody you said adios...okay?

Curtism
07-30-2012, 05:05 AM
I sort of like the method Bert uses . . . :p

http://assets.amuniversal.com/fd77a1f07b7f012f2fe000163e41dd5b?width=900.0

2MeterTroll
07-30-2012, 06:24 AM
I am very polite to them. I invite them in for tea. then we have a two or three hour discussion about them selves and there interests. I have only had one that could resist talking about then selves and she wanted to talk about her grandkids. usually they never come back after the first time of getting hospitality; sometimes we just become a tea stop. works out well they dont preach to me and i dont confound them with questions that the church of some guy never intended they should answer.

Chris Woodward
07-30-2012, 08:10 AM
I can't imagine a more perfect hell then to spend eternity with an evangelical proselytizer.
I did buy a bible so I could argue with them. After an hour or so they usually are begging to leave. I follow them back to their car, preaching the whole time. They usually don't come back.

Paul Pless
07-30-2012, 08:14 AM
I can't imagine a more perfect hell then to spend eternity with an evangelical proselytizer.
I follow them back to their car, preaching the whole time. They usually don't come back.

lmao

John Smith
07-30-2012, 08:15 AM
The only thing more fun that this group these days is a Republican candidate knocking on my door looking for my vote.

Uncle Duke
07-30-2012, 09:10 AM
I've had occasional good luck with telling them that I'm in the middle of weeding the back garden...

"If you want to help weed, we can talk while we get it done".

They leave. That's a shame, I'd appreciate the help...

Canoeyawl
07-30-2012, 09:25 AM
Because they show up during the daylight hours when I'm working, I start the conversation with "Hi, would you hold this for me please..."
I haven't seen them in years, I think the word is out.