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Ted Hoppe
01-17-2012, 01:59 PM
Perhaps this is a rant...

Ok! its winter, cold and the wife wants me to sit beside her on the sofa and watch her TV shows with her. Frankly, I am worried as I have had enough of "Keeping up with the Kardashians", the trials of teenage musicals - Glee, American Idol, Americas got talent and the mind numbing Dancing with the Stars and the rest of the lot. I find them quite simple minded, slowly emasculating and a bit trying on my nerves. I accept the that i was the one who wanted the 40" television in our living room. But now the cable enabled electronic abomination dominates most evenings after dinner. My modus operandi is i try to hide until a show that we both care for like Breaking Bad comes is on. In recent turn of events, my loving son gave me up the other night, pointing out to her that I often have my Ipad out and was on WBF - which is true (my crutch to endure the evening.) I tried to pretend that I was readying the scrabble app but is was too late. Now I am outed as a non participant and deemed unfamily friendly.

I am all for domestic tranquility but how do you survive without withdrawing from a family room filled silly network programming? Thoughts?B:?

http://www.celebrity-parenting.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/family_tv.jpg

David G
01-17-2012, 02:16 PM
Sounds like it's time for some honest communication and negotiation.

If the two of you don't know how to do that... then it sounds like it's time for a few sessions with a counselor who can coach you on Active Listening skills.

G'luck!

ccmanuals
01-17-2012, 02:19 PM
That's the primary reason I have a Nook. Catch up on my reading.

bobbys
01-17-2012, 02:20 PM
I put on Mixed Martial arts or Steven Segal movies and she goes in the other room to watch her shows.

However she likes Glam fairy, Supernanny, Wedding dress shows, What not to wear..

Anything about clothes and make up seems to float her boat.

Paul Pless
01-17-2012, 02:26 PM
I find them quite simple minded, slowly emasculating and a bit trying on my nerves. I accept the that I was the one who wanted the 40" television in our living room. But now the cable enabled electronic abomination dominates most evenings after dinner.

Lucky you, most evenings our bedroom is dominated by the television. I despise it. Katherine, since seemingly age 10 or so has slept with the television on. I prefer complete darkness and quiet. Often we are at an impasse. I'm not sure what's worse, trying to fall asleep with a Law & Order rerun, with a pillow covering my ears and another covering my eyes, or being rudely woken at three in morning to the volume change of an infomercial!


Sounds like it's time for some honest communication and negotiation.

The tv was a source of our biggest and longest running argument. Lately Katherine has acquiesced and allows me to turn the tv off a few minutes after she falls asleep and leaves it off till I wake up at 5:30 or so, usually 30 minutes before she gets up.

pefjr
01-17-2012, 02:31 PM
http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=tv+ears+headset&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=4645875567&ref=pd_sl_8t58u65qve_b

Steve McMahon
01-17-2012, 02:31 PM
TV is mostly a waste of time. I guess I'm lucky. My wife watches the last 5 minutes of whatever version of star trek re-run is on while I cook supper, and other than the odd documentary we generally only ever watch the CBC news at 10:00pm (usually just the first 1/2). We have never had or ever will have a TV in the bedroom, that's reserved for a differant kind of entertainment or sleep.

bamamick
01-17-2012, 02:32 PM
We have one 27" television in our house, and the vast majority of the time it's turned off. It's not that we don't like to watch tv, it's just that we both get pretty sleepy anytime we sit in front of the thing and we will just turn it off and go read and then go to sleep.

My wife likes 'Bones', 'a Person of Interest', and 'a Gifted Man'. That's it. I like football, college basketball, and baseball. I like to watch 'Masterpiece Theater'. I like 'Top Gear'.

Mickey Lake

Paul Pless
01-17-2012, 02:34 PM
Fwiw, I'm sure that I engage in as much or more completely compulsive and banal and mind-numbing behavior as does my beautiful, smart, loving and patient wife.:) Spending time here comes to mind. . .

TomF
01-17-2012, 02:43 PM
We like the same shows; old movies, Antiques Roadshow, Brit comedies, etc..Mostly true for us too. Masterpiece Theater, movies. I watch news without her while I'm eating breakfast though ... and she'll watch renovation shows while I'm out. We'll both watch Big Bang Theory with the kids.

rbgarr
01-17-2012, 02:57 PM
Take up knitting or macrame? Spin gold from straw, Rumplestiltskin? :D

Maybe make turk's head bracelets or do the kind of stuff Vince Brennan does: http://forum.woodenboat.com/showthread.php?55080-Fancywork&highlight=pull

If she can stand it, TV ears are useful. http://www.tvears.com/ She doesn't actually have to have the earbuds in her ears to hear the sound and can talk and listen to others while she can hear what's going on in the show and you don't have to. I'm guessing it's your company she wants, your warm body next to hers, rubbing her feet or some such, not your opinions about the shows and their value.

MiddleAgesMan
01-17-2012, 03:31 PM
I'm not sure counseling is the answer, unless telling her you don't like the shows she likes is anathema. I have never shared interests (TV interests, that is) with any of my wives. Dr. Who (a favorite of wifey 1) always put me to sleep, something about those British accents, I think. Many years later I learned that leaving the TV on helps me fall asleep.

If your wife just wants a warm body and you are willing to provide, there should be no complaints about your activities while she watches her shows. If she thinks you should pay attention to something that bores you to tears see how she does without the warm body; you can go in another room and watch/do what you will.

If that causes problems, then counseling may be the best next step. :)

Paul Pless
01-17-2012, 03:33 PM
I'm not sure counseling is the answer, unless telling her you don't like the shows she likes is anathema. I have never shared interests (TV interests, that is) with any of my wives.

Where the hell is that bilge best quotes thread?:d

John Smith
01-17-2012, 03:38 PM
We solved this problem long ago. She watches her shows in the living room where I record my shows. I watch what I want in the other room. That avoids too thing; watching what one of us doesn't like, and the talking that prevents the one who likes it from watching it.

carlg
01-17-2012, 03:45 PM
Just lucky here: my wife is an avid sports fan. Baseball (less than three months to go), football, horse racing, and basketball. I'm not too interested in basketball, so I mostly bow out. I don't think I've ever seen the popular dancing, talent, adventure or trash starlet shows. Just lucky, I guess.

TomF
01-17-2012, 03:46 PM
If you can't stomach what she watches, it's the perfect excuse to retreat to the bat cave.

CWSmith
01-17-2012, 03:50 PM
We practice negotiation. If one of us gives in to the other, that one can go online without guilt. She can watch her home buying shows so long as she understands we're not in the market. I watch Top Gear so long as I don't buy any overprices sports cars. We both watch Big Bang Theory, This Old House and NCIS.

Thankfully, neither of us want the Kardashians.

CWSmith
01-17-2012, 03:53 PM
If you can't stomach what she watches, it's the perfect excuse to retreat to the bat cave.

I think it would be interesting to know what sort of bat cave people have. Mine's a fish room with 35+ fish tanks. Geek! The other side of the basement is a wood shop if I can get it organized. I wonder how many guys in the Bilge subscribe to the "man cave" concept of pool table, TV, and bar? I'll bet not many. More like table saw, router, and fridge.

Lew Barrett
01-17-2012, 04:19 PM
Anything about clothes and make up seems to float her boat.

Is she Jewish by any chance? :D I am with you here, pal!



TV is for going to sleep here. Jump into bed and turn on the tube. Ten minutes later and Rachel Ray has me snoring.

Hey Paul; our TV,, a Panasonic Vierra, has a function that turns it off after a user programmable period of time. You might look into using the one that came with your set :D. I used to think I could sleep with the TV on but not having Shark Steam Mop ads running all night is a great improvement. The cool thing about using the sleep timer is that everybody gets their wish. K gets to fall asleep in front of the TV, but in an hour or whatever, it turns itself off for you. Excellent!

My complaint is more general? With 234 cable channels (really 23 because the other 211 are all variations on the same cooking, history, shopping or reality theme) there is usually nothing to watch! Fortunately my wife and I share a few interests, but I lose it when she watches (intently) people buy houses in places like Cleveland. I have noting against Cleveland, but I will never buy a house there or in Nicaragua either. That fake business of looking at three houses and then buying one drives me bonkers. Who confines a house search to three units or pretends to? Also, how many ties can they run the same 22 episodes of Chasing Classic Cars? I love Wayne Carini but c'mon!

There is a lot more I could say but I will save it for my new career in stand up.

I loved Sparticus and to my great surprise so did Lindy. I liked the naked sex scenes and the guys getting spears in the teeth and she liked the costumes. Something for everyone!

TomF
01-17-2012, 04:24 PM
I think it would be interesting to know what sort of bat cave people have. Mine's a fish room with 35+ fish tanks. Geek! The other side of the basement is a wood shop if I can get it organized. I wonder how many guys in the Bilge subscribe to the "man cave" concept of pool table, TV, and bar? I'll bet not many. More like table saw, router, and fridge.I've got two - one with woodworking tools, and another with musical instruments. And in the summer, the garden trumps both.

Paul Pless
01-17-2012, 04:28 PM
And in the summer. . .

Fredericton, New Brunswick - all ten days or so of it???

TomF
01-17-2012, 04:42 PM
Fredericton, New Brunswick - all ten days or so of it???
Hey, 20 days thanks. I moved away from Edmonton for a reason.

Ted Hoppe
01-17-2012, 04:51 PM
What i am reading is ... a small chocolate treat, a two minute foot-rub, a light peck on the cheeck buys me an evening of man cave time. Looks like i will need to heat the garage, arrange for stronger wifi, find a comfortable padded stool, get a fish tank, set the timer for Big Bang Theory, and take a break from a good episode of Top Gear on DVD to check on my loving family indoors who is comfortable on the couch.

I knew you would know what to do.

Paul Pless
01-17-2012, 04:56 PM
What i am reading is ... a small chocolate treat, a two minute foot-rub, a light peck on the cheeck buys me an evening of man cave time. Looks like i will need to heat the garage, arrange for stronger wifi, find a comfortable padded stool, get a fish tank

Cheaper than counseling and couples therapy. . .

rbgarr
01-17-2012, 05:17 PM
I understand Norm leaves MSNBC and Current TV on all night long as he sleeps in order to absorb Maddow et al by osmosis... ;)

(Actually, it's mainly after midnight that I can get to the TV to watch them, so I shouldn't talk. :D )

ccmanuals
01-17-2012, 05:19 PM
Caught a few episodes of this show this past weekend. It's a great program!!

http://www.spike.com/shows/bar-rescue

bob winter
01-17-2012, 05:22 PM
Strong drink is a good thing.

MiddleAgesMan
01-17-2012, 05:28 PM
My whole house is my man cave--the current wife has her own bedroom (in her own townhome) about a mile from mine. When she stays here nothing much changes except for the TV shows that play throughout the night: I go to sleep with my History channel and she changes it to TBS when she comes to bed several hours later. :)

It's a great arrangement. :)

BostonIrish
01-17-2012, 05:48 PM
Buy another Tv....I hate Law and Order, ColorSplash, and CSI....I have a ManCave with a Big Ol' TV that I can watch all the Sports I want.The kids also use it as they're video game room, but I have no problem napping on my recliner while they play.Somebody once said "True Love is being able to give up the Remote! "...makes it easier if you have a backup.

Paul Pless
01-17-2012, 05:50 PM
My whole house is my man cave--the current wife has her own bedroom (in her own townhome) about a mile from mine. When she stays here nothing much changes except for the TV shows that play throughout the night: I go to sleep with my History channel and she changes it to TBS when she comes to bed several hours later. :)

It's a great arrangement. :)How many times have you been married? The above arrangement seems quite logical but it also seems like it took a few marriages to figure this out???:d

Reynard38
01-17-2012, 05:56 PM
I have reality TV to thank for the rapid progress on the Coquina. When it comes on I head to the shop.
She does enjoy Top Gear, House and Justified so we do watch a few things together.
Just had a scary thought.... The Coquina is almost done.
I think I need a bigger boat!

Nicholas Scheuer
01-17-2012, 06:02 PM
We have the same tastes in entertainlment, and only part of that involves TV. Most of our TV is PBS.

Ted Hoppe
01-17-2012, 06:02 PM
My wife refers to the boat as my place. We pay for it together and I am welcome to go there whenever she wants.:eek:

wardd
01-17-2012, 06:03 PM
got rid of the wife, kept the tv

Phillip Allen
01-17-2012, 06:06 PM
How do you survive your wife's TV programs?

by getting rid of her and the TV :)

Peter Malcolm Jardine
01-17-2012, 08:36 PM
We have one TV, but we have a DVR.... Nancy watches Say Yes to the Dress, What not to wear, and similiarly annoying vacuous shows. I play on the computer. I like documetaries, Blue Bloods, Antiques Roadshow, CNN etc.

StevenBauer
01-17-2012, 08:47 PM
Spartacus! I watched on Netflix. I can't believe Andy Whitfield is gone. :(

Isn't this forum great. At some other forums I go to your OP would have brought forth cries of derision and a universal demand for you to turn in your Man Card. ;)

Mary and I watch a couple of things together and some apart. Having a Man Cave is important. Very important. I'm surprised we don't have a Man Cave thread here somewhere.


Steven

chas
01-17-2012, 09:33 PM
"I'm surprised we don't have a Man Cave thread here somewhere. "

Don't do that. Those words don't go together. Get a wooden boat. Move somewhere you can use it year round. Anything but that! / Jim

CWSmith
01-17-2012, 09:44 PM
An older friend told me that when his father-in-law was at odds with his wife he would go into the basement and straighten bent nails. I gather he got quite good at it.

Lew Barrett
01-17-2012, 09:54 PM
Speaking of Spike TV, I find Manswers (http://www.spike.com/shows/manswers)to be both educational, entertaining and unwatchable by any woman I would want to be married to.

Check it out....if you dare!

coelacanth2
01-17-2012, 11:06 PM
No TV in the bedrooms. One TV in the living room, hooked up to cable, one elderly tube in the boy's playroom, games only. Wife likes a couple of those cooking challenge shows (they are interesting to watch - I'd like to visit a few of their restaurants), used to watch "What Not to Wear", kid likes Mythbusters and that's about it. Maybe 2 or 3 hours a week for the wife and I, a few more for the boy. I mostly listen to the radio in my truck on the way to the shop or in one of my lairs. The boy is strictly limited as to "screen time" when I'm around...the wife is a bit more lenient.
I've found the less the screen time (TV, computer, video games, cellphone) the better he behaves. I've threatened to removeALL TVs from the house when I see too much vegging on the couch or using the toob as a substitute for action. Heaven help him when bad grades/late homework are the result of too much TV or computer. Oh, yeah, no TV from Monday to Friday during the school year, and I've threatened to block his favorite stuff on the 'Puter, too. I personally don't give a sneeze in a windstorm for the thing. The family gave me an "Apple TV" for Christmas (in-laws and wife got together on it) and I'm about to give it away. Can't think of a more useless thing. Just another distraction for the boy.

In short, her shows are ok by me, and there is little to nothing on that I'm interested in.

Damn, I sound cranky.

Bob (oh, THAT Bob)
01-17-2012, 11:17 PM
Speaking of Spike TV, I find Manswers (http://www.spike.com/shows/manswers)to be both educational, entertaining and unwatchable by any woman I would want to be married to.

Check it out....if you dare!

Uh, yeeeaaah. I looked and the lead article was "How can you make your babe live longer? Breast implants!" According to a Canadian study, women that got implants lived 26% longer. (However, it was attributed to more frequent medical exams in the following 15 years, thus detecting other illnesses earlier. They did not mention improved self esteem.)

Reminds me of the Mr. Manly segments on the classic rock station I used to listen to back east.

Edit: And I agree with the litmus test method for determining long term compatibility. I have so many. :) :(

MiddleAgesMan
01-17-2012, 11:22 PM
How many times have you been married?...

I have two ex-wives plus the current one. Neither of us thought we'd ever remarry but things happen, sometimes: We had to get married in early 2010. ;)

I agree about the beauty of the arrangement. :)

pcford
01-17-2012, 11:24 PM
Wireless headphones.

skuthorp
01-18-2012, 05:33 AM
MANY years ago, SWMBO and I concluded that our evening TV-watching habits were incompatible with watching together.... so we don't.

SHE watches in the living room... she gets the 42" plasma set. I watch in the den... I get the 50" ancient projection TV (decidedly NOT HDTV... but I also get the surround sound).

SHE is fond of a number of network and cable series that I find utterly unwatchable. SHE uses the DVR a lot because she hates to watch commercials, so she's usually a day behind the broadcast.

I don't watch much actual TV at all. I used to faithfully watch Olbermann, but I got pissed off at a couple of things about his show, and don't watch it anymore. I actually watch my laptop, loaded with programs I've downloaded. I'm fond of downloading entire TV series and watching them, one after the other, for weeks at a time, until I"ve seen the entire run of the show. For example, I've just finished watching 'Law and Order SVU', all 13 seasons of it. If I have nothing downloaded, I'll turn on the TV and watch Discovery, or Smithsonian, or the History channel.... occasionally, the Food channel.

Every hour or so, one of us will walk into the other's domain, say hi, ask if they want anything from the kitchen. She usually has an organic yogurt, with fruit.... I'm fond of peanut butter in a roll-up, microwaved so the PB is runny.

Life is good.... and the domestic life is tranquil :)

I'm with Norm.
We coincide with some documentaries, I don't particularly like films anyhow so she goes with a friend but I'm more than willing to take her if necessary. At present no one is watching, she's reading and I'm doing some committee work. I am heartily sick of a diet of gruesome murder and violence that passes for entertainment.

purri
01-18-2012, 05:54 AM
We have our preferences. She the tennis and the swimming. Me for Sons of Anarchy (for the Shakespearean motif) and some lit and dance bits plus WW2, Message Stick, fishing and nature docos et al.

Both of us for Dr Who, In The Thick Of It, Spooks, Taggart, Silent Witness and Ab Fab reruns.

AndyG
01-18-2012, 05:57 AM
We dumped our Sky subscription last year. It seemed insane to pay for hundreds of channels and have next-to-nothing worth watching. Paying money to Murdoch was another deciding factor.

Being the UK, upon not renewing your TV licence, you get threatening letters. Many of them. Then a visit. I welcomed the TV inspectors, led them into the living room, and showed them the TV (42" flat screen), the DVD player, and the Xbox. No aerial cable or satellite cable is all you need to placate them. They said they'd be back to check "around Christmas", but presumably this meant a scan for TV/satellite frequencies from the street. Certainly they've not called again.

And here I am, eight months into broadcast-TV-less-ness. I have returned to listening to the radio (Radio 4, primarily - I love it), very rarely watch a documentary online, we sometimes watch a DVD together, but the bulk of my viewing is perhaps half-an-hour a week surfing the TED Talks. Free, intelligent, thought-provoking talks available when I want to watch them.

I've gained so much time.

Perfect!

Andy

Meli
01-18-2012, 06:19 AM
I just read this whole thread.
I'm off to bed with a book...Alone :D

Michael D. Storey
01-18-2012, 07:41 AM
Well, you can sit there and ask questions about what is going on on the screen. Confuse characters with things like" waitaminit! aren't they brother an sister, and they're making out? What are you watching? " or "so, Downton Abbey isn't a real Abbey, I mean there are no nuns or monks, right?" You must be able to endure being told to shut up repeatedly.