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Meli
01-01-2012, 06:54 PM
Ok, Cat let the cat out:D

I suggested to Scot that we might have fun with a Monthly Writers Comp.
He likes It.

I PM'ed about 17 members across the board, both male, female and the response has been about 80% positive

So.. the idea is that anyone with a creative urge- posts.
Topic loosely around a single word, chosen by last months winner.
Winner voted by Poll at the end of the month.
Grammar and spelling is irrelevant.

IE, Fall could be about Autumn or rock climbing.
The format can be anything, Haiku, Opinion piece, Short story (limited to one post window please.(10,000 characters)).
Scot has asked that we stick to the forum rules re content, so budding James Joyces will have to be content with !@#% :D

First off, Katherine has Chosen "Cat" as the theme.
We'll need a couple of volunteers each month to help with the poll and admin. They will be changed monthly
I told Scot we'd self moderate, so if anyone has any objections to the content of a post, please PM the volunteers so we don't have to bother Scot too much.




The theme for January 2012 is


"Cat"
Pieces must be written by the poster within the month of the comp.
(Please feel free to annotate with the source of inspiration.)
Voting is via public poll.
Only one piece per poster please, no longer than 10,000 characters
Topic chosen by winner of previous months poll.
(You may edit your post within the month.)


Have Fun!!

This months volunteers, Waddie, Spin-drift, Meli
please PM with any ideas or issues

Paul Pless
01-01-2012, 06:56 PM
Cats suck.

Paul Pless
01-01-2012, 06:57 PM
Winner? :d

elf
01-01-2012, 07:17 PM
What's Stevensons Locker?

elf
01-01-2012, 07:18 PM
OK. Apparently this is the "official" thread. Here's a story I wrote a few weeks ago.


Sebastian's last week:

Well, he started obviously coming apart last Tuesday or Wednesday. He seemed to have a cold, runny nose, sneezing, sniffling, runny eyes, etc. So I watched a day and then took him to the vet. The vet gave me some pills, and recommended a vaporizer to clear out his sinuses. I declined the blood tests.

Anyway, after a weekend of that he didn't seem to be making much improvement so I called the vet for a conference. I had taken a shower one evening and kept him with me in the bathroom and he had jumped into the tub with me - very strange. Then, while I was showering he peed and there was a red streak through his pee. Not good, clearly.

So I took him back in and they ran the blood tests and his kidneys had failed. So he wasn't going to get better, ever. It was the end of the road.

I brought him back home, since I wasn't ready to part with him, and we had a few days together before this morning when he began to look so miserable - eyes full of mucus, muzzle all dirty - that I got the shovel and went out to see whether I was ready to select a location and dig a hole. I was. (Step 1) So I dug a nice big hole over by the apple tree next to the flaming euonymous hedge. Then I came back in and had a bit of a cry with him about how wonderful a boy he'd been for so long and he curled up in my lap. (step 2)

So I called the vet and got an appointment and took him over, and brought him back to the nice hole and put him in it, covered him over, dragged the piece of turf over the dirt and dragged the planters and cement blocks over the turf to keep wild animals from digging him up. (Step 3)

So that's the story. I was seriously hoping he'd die without my having to put him down, but even with not eating for more than a week, and with the failed kidneys, he was still able to come when called, jump up on the bed, jump into the tub and even a couple times jump into the kitchen sink. He must have been in good health until about 8 months ago, when symptoms of the kidneys failing I didn't recognize began to happen. I think I have a bit more of a grasp on what to look for now - that cough, the runny left eye that I attempted two years ago to medicate, finally way too much pee all over the cat box closet, having to put down newspaper because "someone" was getting old and missing the box etc., and the awful smell of his breath which was a clear sign.

He was a wonderful cat for seventeen years.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1695/26/31/749884916/n749884916_1022979_9636.jpg

pefjr
01-01-2012, 09:05 PM
A doctor was leaving the hospital after a lon..ggg.....ggg day delivering babies, and on his way to the parking lot, he saw a small boy on the corner. A little closer and he noticed the boy was pouring a bottle of alcohol down the drain. The Doc stopped the youngster and asked him what he was doing wasting that good alcohol,

"Son, don't you realize that is very wasteful, why I just rubbed some alcohol on a pregnant women's tummy, and she passed a baby."

The boy looked up and answered, "That's nothing Doc, I rubbed some on my cat's @ss and he passed a BMW motorcycle."

Garret
01-01-2012, 09:22 PM
Understand that Sebastian was a 15 lb. all black bundle of muscle and unused to taking grief from anyone, be they man or dog. My first interaction with him came soon after waking up for the first time in my future ex-wife’s bed. It’s OK, we’re good friends now.

I got out of bed in a hurry, as I was late (see above for explanation), throwing on my clothes, grabbing my shoes & heading for the door. As I leaned over to give my future ex-wife a kiss, she said “What is that smell?” Sure enough, an overnight deposit had been left in my shoe: a clear signal of who thought he was boss. Though it made me later for work, we had a face to face conversation right then and there. Cats, even male ones - or maybe especially male ones, seem to be uncomfortable with a guy yelling at them with nose touching nose. All right, it made me feel better.

On cold winter nights I could count on having a furball installed behind my knees, but only after the spot under the woodstove had cooled enough to make said knee spot warmer.

I warned Patrick that his male Golden was no match. It took the sight of Slick running full tilt through the field yipping to beat the band with a black bouncing ball appearing over the tops of the hay behind him for Patrick to understand. “Ever watch a master boxer work the bag?” I asked.

Why is it that cats are so proud of the mouse skull? And why can’t they eat the bile sack too?

It took him over 12 hours to figure out how to get down from the beam 12’ over the living room. Doing so meant letting out the cat equivalent of “Geronimo!” and dropping to the sofa. I swear he came to enjoy the rush of jumping – as he’d let out his yell & then jump. Over & over & over. Often at 2 in the morning.

When she moved out, it was to an apartment that didn’t allow pets. For the first week, I couldn’t move a foot without feeling a cat rubbing against me & meowing plaintively. After a few weeks, he was installed on my pillow as I went to bed. Come winter, he went back to his normal habits.

It’s been 22 years since then and last night I woke up & reached down to scratch the ball of fur behind my knees.

Damn.

Cuyahoga Chuck
01-01-2012, 09:24 PM
I tried to respond to your PM but couldn't get thru'.
I didn't get what you were driving at.
The liguistic differences are too great.
I like things the way they are.
Catch as catch can is more fun.
I hear you can't call Ayers Rock Ayers Rock any more.
What's up?
I saw that same cat picture on another thread.
Is the server going to hell again?

Meli
01-01-2012, 11:58 PM
Great stuff so far, keep em coming. but we have a month :D

Meli
01-02-2012, 01:53 AM
C.A.T





It always comes slyly. Like a gift from a spiteful fairy.
That brilliant flash of genius. The intense and euphoric late, late plotting of the next killer idea.
Who does he see, sitting there quietly listening?
Some vaguely familiar yet once precious comrade, the listener?
The phone rings once. That’s all it takes, some happy man, hesitating to ring an old lover so late??
Now his eyes waver, to the ant like scratching’s on the red bound notebook, to her face and the innocent forlorn telephone.
Quietly, he takes the phone off the hook.
“Where have you hidden my notes?”

6am
His head bowed, lips silently moving to some quantum formula, eyes on another bleak and solar blasted scape.
She takes his hand and he lifts his paranoia ravaged face.
“shall I call them?”
A flicker of defiance... then a weary acceptance.

They come at 7, those oh so well meaning strangers.
The fat woman tilting back on the legs of the bentwood chair, arms stretched behind her head, we’re all fine here!!
The tall thin young man, clumsily attempting dominance.
She leads him to the car, and he grips her hand like a terrified child.
The hand of that vaguely familiar stranger.



*C.A.T crisis assessment team

Meli
01-02-2012, 03:37 AM
What's Stevensons Locker?

I just made it up Elf, Robert Louis stevensons family were light house engineers, he was a writer and a traveler and lived in the UK. USA and australia so it seemed apt. :D

Chip-skiff
01-02-2012, 12:53 PM
Shall I introduce myself? The staff calls me Moon, and that will do for now. My true name is for my family and close friends, and it is most unlikely that the readers of this would be able to pronounce it, let alone to grasp the meaning. So please call me Moon, and let us proceed.

Here is my picture:

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Lx7caneZzG4/SysNzwXmnNI/AAAAAAAAAC0/-JPMc8rqmQ8/s376/Mooncat w%3Abell.jpg

As you can see, I'm a fine furry fellow, bright of eye, bold ginger, swift-footed, and full of myself, as well I might be. For I was born of the highest lineage and named (by my mother, as all cats are).

Now a cat, every cat, not just those of noble birth, has a sacred name that is known from the first. As the cat grows, he is given further names, such as Mestrogirth, which I acquired in my youth because I was neither too fat nor too thin, but exactly right: in fact, perfect.

Besides names, a cat may also acquire minor designations— namules— from Lesser Species, such as Kitty, Here Boy, Woof-Rowf, and Jesus Christ.

How is it possible, you ask yourself, that a cat is not only writing this but posting it on the internet?

When the Male Servant holds the rigid things with leaves, I grace his lap or the back of the sofa, and through slit eyes keep watch on his doings. Several years past, he pointed to what I now recognise as a picture and then to certain marks opposite, and said "Cat." Then he scratched my ears.

Cat is a call the Staff emit when they wish to engage my attention. Depending on the circumstances, it can be my cue to arch my back and be scratched, or enjoy a meal, or take evasive action. So, I concluded, the picture must be somehow be cat-related (although it neither moved nor meowed nor smelt). Ears, head, tail: the outline was distinct.

Noting my interest, the Male Servant continued to point out markings and pictures until something flashed in my brain and I was, quite suddenly, able to read. Not, at first, Proust or Melville, but certainly the floppy, pictorial sort of thing, such as Wooden Boat and the New York Times.

He also spent a great deal of time at his Devilbox, pecking away at the keys. Given his habit of leaving the thing lit, I experimented on my own, making sure to steal away before his return, when he evinced considerable excitement at my efforts.

Another flash, and I realised that I was making the same sort of marks on the lighted screen that appeared in the rigid and floppy things, which I now know as books, magazines, and newspapers.

You've all seen the "cute" photos of my compatriots pawing the keypads of Devilboxes. Yet it might not seem so quaint and touching if you knew that we are not merely pawing, but learning.

And communicating. I am the leader of a global movement.

Alas! The Male Servant thunders down the stair.

Adieu—

Moon

Spin_Drift
01-02-2012, 03:00 PM
Great writings. :)

Mine are geared at young children so they are simple stories. May be not worth posting here among these literary giants.

Garret
01-02-2012, 03:05 PM
Great writings. :)

Mine are geared at young children so they are simple stories. May be not worth posting here among these literary giants.

Horsefeathers! Balderdash! I may be tall, but I ain't no literary giant - and I posted something. Besides, simple stories are often the best.

Chris Smith porter maine
01-02-2012, 06:38 PM
I hope Ish is catching this, I think he would enjoy it, as I am.

Durnik
01-03-2012, 03:29 PM
A smokey grey, one of a litter dropped off at the corner country store, he stayed while others left. We called him Ghost.. It fit, from his coloring to the way he would appear & then, be gone.. sometimes seen stretched out languidly on the back of the couch.. or later, outside on the porch rail.. Maybe a glimpse of grey thru the weeds or a mighty jump to the lower of the pear trees branches.

At night, we would often need 'rescue' our pillow.. He was always gracious.. "I warmed it for you" he seemed to say, then accept a skritch behind the ears, stretch & wander out. He never begged for pets, or refused them. He would simply be available.. when he was ready.

When I moved, he traveled with me. Neighbors would tell me of his wanderings.. "It's alright if we feed him, ok? He loves tuna". I'd tell them what he was called & assure them He chose his friends, & food.. Always had, likely always will. Somewhere in our travels, he chose another to serve him. When I moved on, he remained behind, stretched out, soaking the suns rays on yet another porch rail.

As the years pass, I still catch glimpses of grey & turn quickly thinking "Ghost".. but that is all it is.. a ghost. Somehow, someway, I'm certain the angels will have the chance to skritch behind his ears.. & he will still be, gracious, Ghost..

enjoy
bobby

SamSam
01-03-2012, 05:23 PM
This isn't part of your competition but thought it might interest some...

http://www.wimp.com/soothingbaby/

jbchicoine
01-03-2012, 07:25 PM
Okay, here's a bit I wrote a while back:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OE6IvUjrNGI/TVQe2jjPJOI/AAAAAAAAAvY/XfzMNZDRMG0/s1600/Afternoon+Cat+Nap.bmp


Kitties In Tutus

We know what he’s dreaming about—it’s the same whisker-twitching scenario we’ve seen a dozen times. The visions begin shortly after we’ve had a cat neutered, and not because we’ve robbed Junior of the most fun he’ll never have, but because we just sunk sixty dollars into another stray.

I don’t know where they find the posters—perhaps in the neighbor’s barn. They think we’ll never stumble upon them, all dog-eared, rolled-up and tucked out of sight under the back steps where they sleep at night. Pictures of tabbies in tutus, their lips painted bright red under the big top. Pussies perched upon unicycles, making it look so easy. And oh my! those calicos doing the can-can.

It’s only a matter of time, once the adventure of circus life has gripped his imagination. Really, who can blame him? The allure of amazed audiences, throwing kibbles in adoration. Mousies overhead on trapeze. Swooning house cats, smelling of old lady perfume and canned tuna.

We wake to the sound of coyotes in the cornfields. Have they lured him off? their call, like the whistle of a distant circus train …All aboard…

Sadly, our kitties never send postcards.

OH, wait--I just read the instructions more thoroughly...
"Pieces must be written by the poster within the month of the comp."
I wrote this last winter, so I think that disqualifies me... :(

brad9798
01-03-2012, 08:47 PM
I never even got a PM! ;)

Mrleft8
01-03-2012, 09:11 PM
Okay, here's a bit I wrote a while back:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OE6IvUjrNGI/TVQe2jjPJOI/AAAAAAAAAvY/XfzMNZDRMG0/s1600/Afternoon+Cat+Nap.bmp


Kitties In Tutus

We know what he’s dreaming about—it’s the same whisker-twitching scenario we’ve seen a dozen times. The visions begin shortly after we’ve had a cat neutered, and not because we’ve robbed Junior of the most fun he’ll never have, but because we just sunk sixty dollars into another stray.

I don’t know where they find the posters—perhaps in the neighbor’s barn. They think we’ll never stumble upon them, all dog-eared, rolled-up and tucked out of sight under the back steps where they sleep at night. Pictures of tabbies in tutus, their lips painted bright red under the big top. Pussies perched upon unicycles, making it look so easy. And oh my! those calicos doing the can-can.

It’s only a matter of time, once the adventure of circus life has gripped his imagination. Really, who can blame him? The allure of amazed audiences, throwing kibbles in adoration. Mousies overhead on trapeze. Swooning house cats, smelling of old lady perfume and canned tuna.

We wake to the sound of coyotes in the cornfields. Have they lured him off? their call, like the whistle of a distant circus train …All aboard…

Sadly, our kitties never send postcards.

OH, wait--I just read the instructions more thoroughly...
"Pieces must be written by the poster within the month of the comp."
I wrote this last winter, so I think that disqualifies me... :(



I dunno.... If you wrote it in january last winter, it was still written in january.... And january is january, no matter what year it's in, so it's technically the same month..... Same month different year..... Kinda..... Sorta.....
I like it no matter what!
(And no one E-mailed me either Brad.... Sniff..... So.... I'll just sit this one out.... Even though I have a good story..... Sniff, sniff....)

Meli
01-03-2012, 09:20 PM
I reckon being the very first Comp, we can bend the "rules" a bit unless anyone objects? :D
Great story.

Well sookies, I couldn't PM everyone.
so post away :p:

jbchicoine
01-03-2012, 09:55 PM
I reckon being the very first Comp, we can bend the "rules" a bit unless anyone objects? :D
Great story.

Well sookies, I couldn't PM everyone.
so post away :p:
Aw, thanks!
...and I didn't get PM'd either, but no worries...it pays to peer out of The PUB on occasion! :)

jbchicoine
01-03-2012, 09:56 PM
I dunno.... If you wrote it in january last winter, it was still written in january.... And january is january, no matter what year it's in, so it's technically the same month..... Same month different year..... Kinda..... Sorta.....
I like it no matter what!
(And no one E-mailed me either Brad.... Sniff..... So.... I'll just sit this one out.... Even though I have a good story..... Sniff, sniff....) Oh Douglas, post it anyway--you know you want to! :D

Garret
01-03-2012, 10:09 PM
I reckon being the very first Comp, we can bend the "rules" a bit unless anyone objects? :D
Great story.

Well sookies, I couldn't PM everyone.
so post away :p:

Wow - I just went ahead & posted, as you asked for contributions. I wasn't PM'd either.

Was this an oops on my part? I'll delete it if I'm crashing a party.

Meli
01-03-2012, 10:17 PM
so.. the idea is that anyone with a creative urge- posts. :)

Spin_Drift
01-03-2012, 11:08 PM
Great stories here. I've enjoyed every one of them. Thanks for posting them. This is a good thread. :)

Meli
01-04-2012, 12:28 AM
fair call.
Personally I think writing in the same month kinda evens the playing field, similarly, writing to a topic chosen by the previous winner.
It is a competition. :)

Anyone else have any thoughts on this?
There's only 4 "rules"
Must be written by the poster
Must be written to topic (loosely interpreted)
Must be within one post window (what is that 10,000 characters?)
and written in the month of the comp (this one an exception to get things rolling)

I wanted to keep "rules" simple and loose, but we needn't have any at all.

The Bigfella
01-04-2012, 12:31 AM
Too many rules.

Written by the poster.... why do you need more?

Chip-skiff
01-04-2012, 12:40 AM
Personally I think writing in the same month kinda evens the playing field, similarly, writing to a topic chosen by the previous winner.
It is a competition. :)

Anyone else have any thoughts on this?
There's only 4 "rules"
Must be written by the poster
Must be written to topic (loosely interpreted)
Must be within one post window (what is that 10,000 characters?)
and written in the month of the comp (this one an exception to get things rolling)

I liked having to improvise on a subject that I didn't choose. The rules seem fine to me: few and clear.

Thanks for coming up with this.

Farfalla
01-04-2012, 01:21 AM
I liked having to improvise on a subject that I didn't choose. The rules seem fine to me: few and clear.

Thanks for coming up with this.

I'll second that! the structure forces a discipline that is good.

The Bigfella
01-04-2012, 02:04 AM
My first cat

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff112/igatenby/iansecond/kittykatsmall.jpg

Durnik
01-04-2012, 01:02 PM
My first cat

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff112/igatenby/iansecond/kittykatsmall.jpg

Now, _write_ about it..

Jeesh, talk about unclear on the concept.. ;-)

enjoy
bobby

Garret
01-04-2012, 01:14 PM
Now, _write_ about it..

Jeesh, talk about unclear on the concept.. ;-)

enjoy
bobby


But isn't one pic worth 1,000 words? ;)

Peerie Maa
01-04-2012, 01:27 PM
Sat by a window,
Deafened by the sound, it's
Raining cats 'n dogs.

The Bigfella
01-04-2012, 06:10 PM
But isn't one pic worth 1,000 words? ;)

I made it 1003 words.

Garret
01-04-2012, 06:16 PM
I made it 1003 words.

Yes, you did. Thread drift: I spent a summer sailing with a friend (the only racing I've ever enjoyed, but that was because beer drinking during the race was encouraged/required) on his 19' Nacra. That spot out on the trapeze is a whole lot of fun! The idea of having to brace for the acceleration was new to this mono-hull sailor.

Peter Malcolm Jardine
01-04-2012, 07:22 PM
A Note from the Cat


I just wanted to drop you a few lines to help you understand my species. After all, human beings tend to romance almost everything, including the ownership of animals, cars, houses and dogs (please, don't get me started) Perhaps with this small editorial, you will find some education into who we are as cats, and what expectations we might have. My friends and I are almost totally different from your other favorite pet, the family dog. (Sorry, we don't count fish, hamsters, mice, rabbits or gerbils as pets, we consider them as food) For the most part cats think of dogs as stinky pushy morons. There are exceptions, but lets face it, dogs slobber, spill their water, pee all over everything without covering it and lick your face while you put up with their appalling breath. We cats have a great deal more finesse. We're clean, tidy, we don't bark, and we aren't clumsy oafish hairy goofballs. Okay, enough about dogs.

As a breed we also have immense capacity to take care of ourselves. I have friends who are feral, who have never lived in a house, and live off the land. Find a dog, or any other domesticated animal that can do this as easily as the cat. We're big believers in survival skills.


The second part of this small tutorial is about what we don't like. You, as humans, seem to have decided that the dignity of our species is enhanced by a large number of accessories that most cats find tasteless. Cats don't like brushes, combs, perfumes, being bathed, clipped or otherwise coiffured by artificial means. I can clean myself, and I don't like smelling like a cheap french whorecat under a parisian bridge. Enough said. I also don't require coats or boots, carriages, leashes, and certainly not some adornment for my head during any holiday season. I will give you your weight in smoked salmon if you can find me a picture of a cat with moose antlers or a santa hat on it's head looking happy about it. That said, a small felt toy filled with catnip has it's hallucinogenic qualities.

Last but not least, We do enjoy your company. We like the bed. We like upholstered furniture, it has a myriad of uses, as you well know. Keep the litter box clean. Try not flushing your toilet for a couple of days and see how that smells. Ya get me? I can deal with the dogs, usually just with a look, but once in a while you could try stopping them from stomping on me as they go out, or get up on the bed. Like I said, clum---seee. I need the usual vaccinations, flea stuff, and keep an eye out for cuts and bruises on me after a night out.. but you should see the other guy. All in all, it's been a good experience, and I'm happy to be here. Meow.


Ryan the Cat


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v378/nanzep/Catties/001.jpg

Meli
01-04-2012, 07:34 PM
crikey, if this keeps up we's gunna have to go to a knockout :)

Keep em coming :D

skipper68
01-07-2012, 10:18 PM
http://i1042.photobucket.com/albums/b426/skipper68/utf-8BMDMwNzA5MDY1NmEuanBn.jpgI was a marina stray. Mom and dad spayed me, then found out I was a boy!http://i1042.photobucket.com/albums/b426/skipper68/skipper68%20lovies/5a6b6da8.jpg I love my family that adopted me and feed them well.Here is how I snag the pike, to bring home. http://i1042.photobucket.com/albums/b426/skipper68/124bd129.jpghttp://i1042.photobucket.com/albums/b426/skipper68/4572e79c.jpghttp://i1042.photobucket.com/albums/b426/skipper68/1349b0f6.jpg I wish they would make a bigger cat door!:d They don't like me bringing in frogs. Sincerely, Captain Kidd.

Meli
01-07-2012, 10:33 PM
Way to go Skipp!!
A graphic novella if you please:D
10 points for interpretation of the topic.

Can someone clever edit this so the pics display with the Dialogue?
If thats OK with skipp?

skipper68
01-07-2012, 10:41 PM
OK with me- I couldn't change it. Look at the first pix- he was trying to bring it thru the cat door! LOL!

Bruce Hooke
01-07-2012, 11:28 PM
Can someone clever edit this so the pics display with the Dialogue?

I'm confused about what you are requesting. When I look at Skipper's post I see the photos followed by text. Isn't that the way it is supposed to be?

Keith Wilson
01-07-2012, 11:32 PM
I was a marina stray. Mom and dad spayed me, then found out I was a boy!

http://i1042.photobucket.com/albums/b426/skipper68/skipper68 lovies/5a6b6da8.jpg

I love my family that adopted me and feed them well. Here is how I snag the pike, to bring home.

http://i1042.photobucket.com/albums/b426/skipper68/124bd129.jpg http://i1042.photobucket.com/albums/b426/skipper68/4572e79c.jpg http://i1042.photobucket.com/albums/b426/skipper68/1349b0f6.jpg

I wish they would make a bigger cat door! :D

http://i1042.photobucket.com/albums/b426/skipper68/utf-8BMDMwNzA5MDY1NmEuanBn.jpg

They don't like me bringing in frogs. Sincerely, Captain Kidd.


Is that it? Weird; now I'm getting this "attached thumbnails" thing that I can't delete.

Ian McColgin
01-07-2012, 11:35 PM
Looks right from here.

Meli
01-07-2012, 11:38 PM
I can only see the links to the photo's
Must be just me:)
Thanks Keith

Keith Wilson
01-07-2012, 11:44 PM
Can you see them in my copy?

Meli
01-07-2012, 11:59 PM
I can still only see the links.
never mind, I get the picture :D

skipper68
01-08-2012, 12:09 AM
Looks a lot better to me. A picture IS worth a THOUSAND words, right?:D Thanks guys. Don't expect to win, but he really is SO funny! And a cuddle bug!

Durnik
01-08-2012, 12:29 AM
Looks a lot better to me. A picture IS worth a THOUSAND words, right?:D Thanks guys. Don't expect to win, but he really is SO funny! And a cuddle bug!

So at 5,057 words you lead the pack in 'verbosity'!

Hey, if he brings in fish that are fresh, I say bake 'em up! ;-)

enjoy
bobby

Dr. Arthur Trollingson
01-08-2012, 11:23 PM
following me, eh
I've been away for a while
yer awesome, shop cat

johnw
01-09-2012, 02:24 AM
Well, if we're bending the rules for this first one, here's something I wrote last spring:

Bonney in the Twilight Zone

Slowly at first, then more quickly, the world began to disappear around her. Small items went first, just here and there, a few books (she didn't read) and random items of His clothing. This didn't trouble her much. She had His company, which was the important thing, and food and water, a view of prey which, sadly, she was not allowed to kill. She had the company of his other companion, one of her own species. When she was very young, she was treated badly, but that was before Him, and He was the only one of his species she trusted.

Her kind had evolved to hunt the arid grasslands, and were swift and agile, with sharp claws and sharp teeth. The big, clumsy things who ate grain had stores of the useless stuff, which attracted the small grain eaters, which attracted her kind to kill and eat the small grain eaters. The two species had formed a symbiotic relationship, and both had eventually found that bonds of affection grew between them, uncomplicated by a common language or mating pattern.

Her kind did not have names, they had smells unique to each, which complicates writing about them. I will assign, at random, the names Bonney and Bunny. Bonney was the bigger, stronger, smarter and more beautiful of the two, but Bunny had the greater courage and more dominant personality. Bonney ran from loud noises, Bunny ran to confront them. When they ate, Bunny was always pushing past Bonney to eat first, when it came to His affection Bunny was ready to claim it and chase Bonney away. Sometimes she pushed it too far, but Bonney loved her like a sister, which is to say she sometimes beat the crap out of her. And she did claim her own share of affection, and that was the important thing.

Then the world started to disappear more quickly. Large swaths of books came off the shelves and disappeared into opaque cubes, clothing as well, but she had no need of clothing, her own fur with its dazzle camouflage pattern proving stylish and utilitarian in all seasons.

Then other big, clumsy grain eaters came into the world, and made noise and made more of the world disappear. Terrified, Bonney went to her best hiding place. He knew about the hiding place -- she'd spent the first week in His world hidden from Him there -- but was too big and clumsy to pursue her into it, and none could get her out if she didn't want to come. It was a crawl space that she could barely fit into. Bunny didn't come in, but stood guard at the entrance. This was a time when Bonney appreciated Bunny's strong personality.

A creature with a long snout began to feed on small objects, roaring in a most terrifying way. Sometimes it emitted a sound like one of her species being tortured, possibly because that was what was happening, Bonney wasn't sure but did not intend to find out by becoming a snack for the creature.

Finally, the noise stopped. The creatures all went away. The world was empty, with all those objects that bore the comforting smell of Him gone, just flat plains, the white opaque reservoir still filled with water, the eating area with every trace of edible things and utensils He used for eating gone. The soft, short, tan grass of the main living and sleeping areas were without their comforting clutter, all smelling of Him, even the smallest scraps of paper sucked up by the devouring thing that roared.

Bunny ran around inspecting the strange, silent, empty world. Bonney cautiously put her nose out and saw what was there, then retreated, lest she, too, be devoured.

Time passed, and He came back. Bunny frolicked around Him, rubbing against Him, demanding affection, as if no longer noticing that the world was mostly gone. It was her way, Bonney knew. Confront the danger, secure alliances, those were Bunny's goals when faced with the unknown. Perhaps it made sense if you had Bunny's boundless self-assurance, her belief that she could defeat any threat. But Bonney had no such illusions. She has seen far worse than Bunny ever had, she felt her mortality in her bones, and though He offered affection, offered her favorite food, cooed and coaxed, she stayed in the darkness of her sanctuary.

Then He was gone, and Bunny as well.

Bonney had always feared abandonment, feared the loss of His protection and affection. Her worst fears seemed realized. The world was empty, both of objects and of love. She began to fear she would die there in her sanctuary, having avoided the unknown fate that Bunny and all the objects in the world had suffered. Night closed in, but night was the time her kind evolved for, and cloaked in darkness, she finally emerged, inspected the world, and found it as empty as she feared. Strange smells infested the world, smells of substances that seemed designed to remove all trace of the smells she knew and found comforting. She retreated again to her sanctuary, knowing Bunny was gone, He was gone, the world was a desolate, empty waste, and she would die alone.

Then, the next day, He came back. He cooed and coaxed, lured her with her favorite food, but she was steadfast in her terror and would not emerge. Finally she came close enough to the entrance to her sanctuary that He could stroke her cheek. This was her undoing, for it was love, not food or water, that she would die without.

She rubbed against Him, first with her cheek, then He let her put her scent on Him with the glands in her face, so she could claim him again. Gradually she emerged, let Him caress her neck, her ears, her face, rub her all over her furry body. The world started to seem right again.

Then He blocked the access to her sanctuary. He pinched the skin on her shoulder, where there was a flap of skin her mother had carried her by in her mouth and a nerve that, when pinched, made her muscles relax. He put her in a cell with opaque, off-white walls and steel bars, which rose in the air and moved her swiftly into a transport device the technology of which she did not begin to understand, and began to move them through the space between the worlds.

She had no reference for the sounds and smells around her. Even Bunny would have been terrified, she knew. The voyage seemed to last an age, but finally they came to a new world, where He let her out of the portable cell.

She smelled Bunny, and books, and Him. Some of the objects were familiar to her, some were not. Out of an abundance of caution, she ran quickly around and found a new hiding place, which seemed safe but was infested with new smells and new sounds.

It was a full day before she emerged. She waited until the place was quiet, night had fallen, and the artificial day the clumsy ones required finally went dark. She emitted a pitiful wail, and the artificial day began again, and He came, and she came out and claimed him with the scent from her face and let him caress her. Then she went to earth again, unsure of what this new world would bring, happiness or the sorrow she always feared lay in store for her.

Gradually, she emerged more often, finding where He slept and demanding his love, claiming it and rubbing against him.

And that, I'm pretty sure, is how my cat Bonney saw the move to new quarters.


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eMpQ24MlxIY/TcQ3p3gfdoI/AAAAAAAAACM/HeTzMmy2bjc/s320/Bunny+%26+Bonney+037.JPG (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eMpQ24MlxIY/TcQ3p3gfdoI/AAAAAAAAACM/HeTzMmy2bjc/s1600/Bunny+%26+Bonney+037.JPG)

skuthorp
01-09-2012, 05:26 AM
Dammit gran called him.
Rescued from a shaft by a boy on a rope he was half starved and half dead from a torn out neck wound but he was tough. A feral for several generations probably he was big, mat black and wild. But he lay quiet whilst gran sewed him up with cotton and applied sulphur and honey poultices. "Dammit, now I suppose I'll have to keep you"
He was never tame, apart from some milk from Daisy the house cow he was never fed, never owned.
A bag covered hole in the fibro behind the tin bath his private entrance. Sitting in the firelight, suddenly there'd be two yellow eyes beside grans' big red leather chair and his hand would descend slowly to stroke, on sufferance, the cat that acknowledged his debt. Then suddenly he'd be gone, and when gran went so did he.

John Smith
01-09-2012, 11:25 AM
CATS
Cats come in many sizes and colors. Aside from the ones we make pets of and give names to, which they never seem to learn, there are the lions, tigers, bobcats, leopards, etc. etc. Cats have found their way into our culture in many ways. We have “cool cats”, “cat’s pajamas”, and Kong’s roar was made by playing roar of a lion backwards. We are told they have nine lives and always land on their feet. Guess they don’t play football.
My cat likes football and routes for the Lions, Bengals, etc. He gives a loud “Meow” when his team scores. When the Panthers play the Jaguars, he doesn’t know who to route for. (I made that up)
Cats are great sleepers, likely because they get so much practice. They are also great at finding boxes and climbing into them whether they fit or not.

Bernadette
01-10-2012, 03:33 AM
i like skuthorp's piece.

shamus
01-10-2012, 10:39 PM
If a cat and a half
Kills a bird and a half
In a day and a half
How many cats are required
For the slaughter
Of fifty two point five birds
In a day and a quarter?

And
If six of these cats
Should be made to depart us
By means of a suitable (humane) apparatus
Each day for week, starting on Monday
How many cats would remain, would you say
At the end of next Sunday?

Lew Barrett
01-12-2012, 10:21 PM
Nobody here gets what it is, man. Ferlinghetti knew. Eastwood maybe too. Barger talking out his neck probably qualified, but here they are talking all tabby and what the creature drug in or what they think it's thinking, but it's only thinking it doesn't like the herring in a can and it's warmer in the bed than on the floor.

Everybody in the same damn rut, thinking one way because everybody has the same picture in their heads. Television and the internet, that's what iced it. Everybody knows everything at exactly the same time and it all looks the same, man. If that damn rut isn't the real the problem with the world, then what is? A person can't shale it loose, because it fits tighter than OJ's glove. You see one guy wearing a suit and they all wear the same suit. That's what it takes to get along, but do you really want to get along?

Hey you, yeah you. There's cats and then there's Cats. You think they only have four legs and chase birds?

The rules? Real cats know they were made to be broken.

(I don't expect to win any prizes but somebody hadda do it)

johnw
01-13-2012, 02:45 PM
Nobody here gets what it is, man. Ferlinghetti knew. Eastwood maybe too. Barger talking out his neck probably qualified, but here they are talking all tabby and what the creature drug in or what they think it's thinking, but it's only thinking it doesn't like the herring in a can and it's warmer in the bed than on the floor.

Everybody in the same damn rut, thinking one way because everybody has the same picture in their heads. Television and the internet, that's what iced it. Everybody knows everything at exactly the same time and it all looks the same, man. If that damn rut isn't the real the problem with the world, then what is? A person can't shale it loose, because it fits tighter than OJ's glove. You see one guy wearing a suit and they all wear the same suit. That's what it takes to get along, but do you really want to get along?

Hey you, yeah you. There's cats and then there's Cats. You think they only have four legs and chase birds?

The rules? Real cats know they were made to be broken.

(I don't expect to win any prizes but somebody hadda do it)

Dig that crazy beat, man.

Garret
01-13-2012, 04:13 PM
Lew's been down so long it looks like up to his cat! :D

Lew Barrett
01-13-2012, 04:35 PM
I am digging that cat the most, man!

switters
01-13-2012, 07:03 PM
So many excellent writers and stories here.

skipper68
01-13-2012, 09:36 PM
I like Damit. My Grandma had around 60 at one time on the farm. They would get a big bowl of oatmeal and cows milk if they were hungry in the morning. Fun to watch, but we never were close enough to touch them. It was a working farm, in the 60's. Even had the work horses still. She would have done the same. Damit!

Uncle Duke
01-17-2012, 03:03 PM
Bump, for Ms. Spin...

Meli
01-17-2012, 04:45 PM
Hmm, what happened to the sticky?

I'm going to create a Poll on about the 24th. with so many entries, we'll prolly have to have a knock out round (like if theres 20 entries and 4 of them get equal top
knock out those with only one vote and poll again) If this is OK ?

Peerie Maa
01-17-2012, 05:36 PM
Keep on bumping. This is too good to sink.

Durnik
01-17-2012, 09:23 PM
Keep on bumping. This is too good to sink.

Ba-Bump!

& damn it, I like dammit!

enjoy
bobby

skuthorp
01-18-2012, 05:04 AM
Bump, till february. Who decides the next subject?
Seeing cats got first dibs how about dogs, there'll be plenty of stories there. Maybe dogs and boats? Bob Smalser must have som great tales re his beautiful Newf's. Had a couple myself.

Meli
01-18-2012, 05:25 AM
Bump, till february. Who decides the next subject?
Seeing cats got first dibs how about dogs, there'll be plenty of stories there. Maybe dogs and boats? Bob Smalser must have som great tales re his beautiful Newf's. Had a couple myself.

The winner of the comp of course :D
We may have to have two cat agories. poetry and prose
:D

skuthorp
01-18-2012, 05:35 AM
"cat agories"

Groan!!

Garret
01-18-2012, 07:59 AM
"cat agories"

Groan!!

More like "cat agonies"!!! :p

Chip-skiff
01-18-2012, 07:19 PM
Bumpissimo!

Meli
01-18-2012, 09:55 PM
Bump again

Chip-skiff
01-18-2012, 10:01 PM
Doin' the Bump with Meli. Ooh-wah!

Play it again, Sam.

Waddie
01-18-2012, 10:46 PM
Are we running out of cat stories? OK, here's mine.

Back around 1980 my 5 year old daughter, our only child at that time, desperately wanted a cat. Now, I'm more of a dog person, but since I grew up having a dog I understood the need for furry affection, and thought cats couldn't be much more different than dogs to take care of. And besides, she specifically wanted a cat. Our neighbor lady a few doors down, an owner of several well mannered and beautiful cats, had some kittens to give away. Since the price was right I took my daughter down the street to visit with the kittens. Of course, she picked the biggest male in the litter (it's called a litter, right?). Our neighbor lady graciously gave my daughter the kitten and lots of advice. Well, I admit I wasn't listening any too carefully, but I do remember her saying something about neutering the animal, but I forgot most of her advice on the walk home. I was probably daydreaming about boats or something. And I had that warm feeling inside, you know, the one you get when your kids think you're an angel. I could have used more of that.....But that story will have to wait until "kids" is our writing theme...

I did remember to buy cat food and get the cat his shots, and he grew like a weed. So did my daughter. She really loved that cat.......except it was me who got yelled at by the boss if the litter box needed cleaning out, or furniture repaired, or cleaning up messes, or feeding.... you get the picture. But she really, really, loved that cat. She named him Pharaoh, he was huge for a cat, and colored sort of black and white. The name was appropriate, as he was king of our little kingdom. My daughter was growing into quite the tomboy, and loved to wrestle around, especially with the cat. She would often pull him by his tail from behind the couch and you would think the cat would avoid her at all costs, but you could usually find him curled up beside her or sleeping on her bed.

When Pharaoh got to be about two years old he started disappearing on us for a couple of days at a time, but he always returned. He had become a pretty good mouser back in the big shed area and we thought he was probably out hunting. I had other suspicions, but I wasn't ready to have that talk with my seven year old daughter just yet....so I stuck to the hunting explanation. Then two months passed and no Pharaoh. My daughter would ask about him every day for a while, but you know how young kids are, they begin to move on faster than we do, and besides, I had told her Pharaoh was on vacation, and I was sure he would be back soon. In truth, I thought the cat was a goner, probably killed by a mean dog or some other wild animal.

Then one nice early June afternoon I was sitting on the porch my daughter came running up the street. Not normal running, I mean sprinting and waving her arms and trying to yell something to me. I couldn't understand a word of it, but even then I was getting a little hard of hearing, but I jumped up, thinking someone must be hurt. My daughter arrived gasping for air and making no sense at all, or maybe it was me sliding into a slight panic and making no sense at all. All I could gather was that I was to follow her down the street chop-chop!! Along the way I picked up snippets of information and by the time we reached the house she had been playing at, with her new friend that had recently moved in, I began to discern a writhing mass of fur under the front porch. The I recognized one of those masses of fur. It was Pharaoh.

Apparently Pharaoh had taken up residence with his girlfriend about a block away under the porch of a vacant house. He was a family man now. The rascal, I thought. And then I remembered clearly the neighbor lady's advice about neutering him. She had given us that advice over two years ago, and I hardly remembered it for five minutes. I'm the type who can't remember important birthdays....or anniversaries. But now the memory of that advice rang like a gong in my head, as I looked at Pharaoh's six offspring. My daughter insisted that we bring Pharaoh and the kittens, long with the missus, back to our house for a "visit", so the boss could see what happened. Well, by her look I could tell I was at fault for something. But I got off lucky. Only the cat family got relegated to living under our porch. I guess the boss thought there just wasn't enough room under there for me as well.

Only four of the kittens made it, and we adopted out another two. But that's how I got to be the owner of four cats, or I should say they owned me for the next fifteen years or so. I served them well, kept their box clean, fed them and took them to the vet when they were sick. I'm still a dog person, but me and cats have reached an understanding.

regards,
Waddie

Meli
01-19-2012, 01:10 AM
keep em coming :D

ChaseKenyon
01-19-2012, 04:09 AM
bimp

skuthorp
01-19-2012, 07:44 AM
http://lisascatloverspages.com/mygif04/stormwindow.gif

Lew Barrett
01-19-2012, 12:13 PM
http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff76/LewBarrett/howcatsare.jpg

This is not staged because you cannot stage a cat. Manny is peerless at being a cat, but tires easily while working on a computer.

skuthorp
01-19-2012, 03:48 PM
Nice one Lew, great cat that knows it's priorities.

Chip-skiff
01-19-2012, 09:45 PM
Big Bada-Bump!

Meli
01-19-2012, 09:53 PM
I wonder if some one whinged about the sticky:confused:

Could someone whinge back? this is getting tiring :D
Holding up all these weighty words

Chip-skiff
01-19-2012, 10:06 PM
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-cX8Nluv_pWE/TxjYzVs-2XI/AAAAAAAAB3M/L0EyQrDgicE/s541/Moonzonk.jpg

Durnik
01-19-2012, 11:19 PM
I wouldn't worry too much, Meli. I note (with appreciation) a varied group taking the time to go

Ba Bump! ;-)

Meanwhile, Camping kitty

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-CpLywveR9mI/TwaII6VG7JI/AAAAAAAAA0w/-vLU039iLes/s640/DSC01102.JPG

likes the new bench I made with some PT left over from another project.

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-TRQ1jpAo4rE/TxTN040RHYI/AAAAAAAAA2c/1PvvcZIBzKQ/s640/kitty_on_a_bench.jpg

enjoy
bobby

skipper68
01-19-2012, 11:49 PM
My cat was PI$$d today, watching a seagull eating a fish on the ice in the bay.He thinks it's his own "Wild Kingdom" channel!.. Looking thru the shrinkwrap window....funny.

Durnik
01-20-2012, 11:19 PM
getting close..

Bippity Bump!

enjoy
bobby

Peerie Maa
01-21-2012, 02:44 PM
Meeow

Durnik
01-22-2012, 03:43 PM
post em if you got em - day after tomorrow is the deadline!

enjoy
bobby

skuthorp
01-22-2012, 03:46 PM
I am glad that this thread seems not to need a sticky, it's good it has legs of it's own.

The Bigfella
01-23-2012, 02:00 AM
http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff112/igatenby/Third/Screenshot2012-01-04at06_30_50.jpg

The Bigfella
01-23-2012, 04:21 AM
I reckon being the very first Comp, we can bend the "rules" a bit unless anyone objects? :D
Great story.

Well sookies, I couldn't PM everyone.
so post away :p:

Apparently we can't bend the rules a bit

skuthorp
01-23-2012, 04:24 AM
Good grief.

The Bigfella
01-23-2012, 04:34 AM
Good grief.

Nothing to worry about Jeff. I don't know why, but Meli thought she'd sling yet another insult on the voting thread, but she's edited it out now....

Meli
01-23-2012, 04:48 AM
.:confused:.
the soft wares playing up. no return key or paragraphing in my first post on my threads.
I have to edit to get these functions.
What insult are you referring to? I'm professional enough to play this comp with a totally straight bat.
Please explain?

Durnik
01-23-2012, 01:13 PM
Nothing to worry about Jeff. I don't know why, but Meli thought she'd sling yet another insult on the voting thread, but she's edited it out now....

If you feel the need to tussle, please do so where the tussle originated.. not across the forum & esp not in non-partisan writing threads.. This action is tantamount to stalking..

I will delete this when you delete the parents.

thank you
bobby

Garret
01-23-2012, 02:12 PM
To be continued....

That was cruel! :p

Meli
01-24-2012, 03:34 PM
OK.
Lets go!!!!
Something's come up at home so I wont be able to do the Poll stuff.
Durnik's stepped up to the wicket and will be doing the honours :)

Good luck

Durnik
01-24-2012, 04:57 PM
Alright, the "cat's" outa the bag.. I no longer have the option of slinking off &.. er, I mean, "Nobly Declining the Honor".. so, I plan to later on this evening post 5 polls, 1 each for the following categories - Long Stories, Short Stories, Long Poems, Short Poems/Haiku, & Picture Stories - with associated stories/pictures listed & voting enabled. It was requested that voting be anonymous w/ 1 vote per category per forumee.. so it shall be. During the month, there was a bit of 'commenting' on rules.. This month, I plan to include all likely self authored entries (pefjr, I heard that joke when I was knee high to a grasshopper.. & I'm pretty sure you didn't author it in Jan, some years back.. ;-)) & leave it to the forum to decide. My only input has been categorization.. & that pretty much was required by the forum poll limit of 10 choices. AIUI, the winners of each major category (Stories/Poems?) will have the honor of choosing next months subject(s). That would seem to be subject to further.. polite discussing.. ;-)

eta: For clarification, these are the rules we are 'following'..


There's only 4 "rules"
Must be written by the poster
Must be written to topic (loosely interpreted)
Must be within one post window (what is that 10,000 characters?)
and written in the month of the comp (this one an exception to get things rolling)

Subbing 'created' for 'written'..

Good luck to everyone - keep in mind that this is a voluntary service & errors may occur - complaints should be e-mailed to shiv_a_git at bit-bucket.dis.org.. ;-) - constructive criticism is welcome, tho not necessarily actionable.. & may the best.. artist's, win!

enjoy
bobby

Oh, yea.. what's a 'wicket'? & did I step in 'it'? ;-)