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pefjr
11-26-2011, 10:47 AM
In Positive Economic Sign, Walmart Customers Killing Each Other to Buy Shyte


Pepper Spraying, Homicide Bullish Indicators, Economists Say


In what economists are hailing as a clear sign of economic recovery, Walmart customers across the USA jammed into stores on Black Friday, sometimes killing each other to buy useless shyte.

“We have been looking for evidence that the economy is on the mend,” said Davis Logsdon, chairman of the economics department at the University of Minnesota. “When people resort to homicide to buy a Blu-ray player, that is very, very good news indeed.”

Mr. Logsdon said he was “impressed” by the lengths to which some Walmart customers were going to grab coveted sale items: “They’re using tactics we usually associate with the UC-Davis police.”

With many customers using pepper spray and other weapons to get a shopping advantage, however, Mr. Logsdon advised Americans not to enter a Walmart unarmed.

“If you want to get your hands on a doorbuster, you’d better have a firearm,” he said. “Fortunately, Walmart is offering several great doorbusters on firearms.”

Walmart and other retailers’ decision to commence their Black Friday sales a day early carries with it an added benefit for consumers, he noted: “Now, Americans will be able to declare bankruptcy one day earlier.”

All in all, Dr. Logsdon said that the increased violence and mayhem at retail outlets across the country was “a testament to the greatness of the American consumer.”

“Egyptians risk their lives for new government,” he said. “Americans bravely do the same for new flat screens.” Bororitz Report

S.V. Airlie
11-26-2011, 10:55 AM
I don't think that Walmarts is a good indicator.

John Smith
11-26-2011, 10:59 AM
I expect I've mentioned this before, but my grandsons got a Wii game a couple of years back only because my friend was assigned video taping duties at Toys R Us in NYC.

They let the videographers pick out anything they wanted if the promised not to tape the fights. There were a lot of fights.

Dr. Arthur Trollingson
11-26-2011, 12:13 PM
I expect I've mentioned this before, but my grandsons got a Wii game a couple of years back only because my friend was assigned video taping duties at Toys R Us in NYC.

They let the videographers pick out anything they wanted if the promised not to tape the fights. There were a lot of fights.

That says more about NYC than it does Black Friday, or Toys R Us.

I have family in Mormon country, and am told that out West orderly lines are formed, store occupancy is limited by door-men so as to abide by fire codes, and at some stores people are herded into item-specific lines. It's not all elbows and pepper spray out there.

David G
11-26-2011, 12:32 PM
jr. -- all I can say is, THAT'S a relief. Happy days are here again!