View Full Version : Humor;) Drafting Guys over 60.

10-27-2011, 09:48 AM
I read this and was ROTFL!!!
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bi**h.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone out run a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them. :d

10-27-2011, 10:10 AM
Not only not funny, but true.
In reality, the military should be made up entirely of women in need of hormone therapy.

Ian McColgin
10-27-2011, 10:38 AM
Not PC but very funny.

In reality, we send children to war because they so don't get it they really will charge up that hill. Try ordering a forty year old and you'll just get an obscenity laden version of, "You want that hill, you take it."

Scott Rosen
10-27-2011, 11:21 AM
the military should be made up entirely of women in need of hormone therapy.Way too dangerous. They'd be an uncontrollable mob, just as likely to shoot us as our enemies.

10-27-2011, 11:25 AM
Not sure about this.

When i was 18 they wanted me to go into the service and thought i was prime material, They wanted to give me a gun even though i was honest with them and told them i drank, smoked pot, did not work or pay taxes, chased goils and aimlessly rode a MC around.

Now im 58, think a 4 door car its the cat's meow, do not inhale, only have one drink a day , pay taxes and people here think i should not own a gun?

David W Pratt
10-27-2011, 11:39 AM
My two military related ideas: they should have hunted for bin Laden with a pig mounted cavalry of Hooters waitresses; instead of occupying Iraq, we should have hired North Korea to do it. It would save American lives, make an antagonist into a trading partner, NK needs the $$, and after about six months they would be begging us to come back.

10-27-2011, 11:42 AM
I narrowly missed the draft in Vietnam and now it seems at age 55 the draft will come back around and get me after all! :)

Still, it's more honorable than sending our kids to do it.

Cuyahoga Chuck
10-27-2011, 11:46 AM
Drafteeman here. Fortunately I never had to fire on any of our enemies.
The reason the young make good soldiers is their lack of experience. They can be very scared but still believe they won't be the next to fall.
Plus, soldiering in the field is extremely strenuous. A good fighter has to be able to endure the most god-aweful conditions and still perform well. That goes away as you get older.

In the First Gulf War we had reservists in their 50's doing rear echelon work. Some of those guys were closing in on their first heart bypass and they looked like they would die from the intense heat.

Between the two world wars the French had such a low birth rate they were unable to replace all those young men who were killed or maimed in WWI. The average age in their pre-WWII army was well into it's thirties. You know how that worked put. When they did come back in 1943 the French army was loaded with young Arabs, Berbers, Goumiers and other tribesmen from their North African colonies.

10-27-2011, 01:02 PM
Still trying to figure the mounting for two AA-12 auto shotguns to the wheelchair. :)

Duct tape...camouflaged of course...