View Full Version : Fellows, Im in the Hospital
01-13-2011, 08:02 PM
Last March was when my son celebrated his 25th birthday, and I got him an iPhone.
He just loved it. Who wouldn't?
I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when
she bought me an iPad.
My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.
September came by so for her birthday i got my wife an iRon.
It was around then that the fight started......
What the wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.
This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.
I should be out of the hospital by Monday!!
01-13-2011, 08:04 PM
I had a woman friend whose husband complained about her poor housekeeping. She bought him a vacuum cleaner.
01-13-2011, 08:35 PM
I knew a bloke who bought his wife a new axe, a racing one. She came from a prominent Tassy family of axemen and women. She won a championship with it.
Personally I have found that the most dangerous item it the 'iknow', especially if repeated.
01-13-2011, 08:48 PM
LOL. Sent it to the women in my life. Eeek, eeek.
01-13-2011, 08:55 PM
I've got a buddy from Tennessee who bought his wife a new deer rifle for their first Christmas together. (a: she doesn't hunt. b: it was in a caliber he always wanted to try.) Can you say Redneck? Needless to say, he's never done that again.
01-13-2011, 08:58 PM
Then there's the feller who bought his non-golfing wife expensive golf clubs, and now she has a better handicap and she's never home.
01-13-2011, 10:51 PM
Can"t wait to forward this to my FIL and BIL. Wife loved it. Thank you
01-13-2011, 11:41 PM
Well, I've bought my wife two wheelbarrows over the years. She wore the first one out. She reckons they are the best presents I've ever bought her.
About 15 years ago, I won a $4000 (then) pearl and gold necklace. My wife had always told me she didn't like pearls... so I donated it back to the charity I'd won it from. Apparently she does like pearls..... she'd just told me that she didn't like them so that I wouldn't go out and buy them for her. How's a bloke supposed to win?
01-13-2011, 11:59 PM
!Jewelry ALWAYS wins. I went crazy on it in 2001 @ 235.00 (firstname.lastname@example.org) an ounce. Always said,in bad times we would reap the benefits,when it was 700$. NO DAM WAY will I sell a speck of it...MINE!;) The kids call me Mrs. T, but they love their gold gifts too!!
01-14-2011, 05:45 AM
My wife says the best gift I ever got her was the pair of genuine Wellies I bought for her birthday one year. The previous best gift was a hammer I gave her for our anniversary a few years back. She's a keeper!! :D
01-14-2011, 07:15 AM
There was a bloke I know well who in the flush of newlyweddedness spoke lovingly to his non cookable LOHL "Look darls you an I both know sheilas cant cook... now dont look at me like that sugarlips think about it for a tick we go to a posh slapup flash tucker place in the city you can bet your precious pink nighty that theres a bloke called "chef" out in the kitchen cookin the tucker all the best cooks are blokes called "chef" and you know as well as I do you cant boil a bloody googie egg in a pot of hot water even if I turn the stove on... you have problems boilin the kettle for cripes sake... but I will teach yer cause Im a bloke and of course blokes can cook better than sheilas thats why blokes in those flash kitchens are called "chef" but I'll teach yer to cook up a feast easy as okay"... ever here the expression "slow boil"? Yeah well that poor bloke ended up cooking for the next 25 years!! Then just as his teachin lessons had finally started to sift through whatever was in her blonde head she left him!!... lesson learnt!! NEVER tell the missus blokes can cook better than sheilas cause them critters do a LONG SLOW BOIL!!!
Bought the missus a circular saw once... she hated the beast of thing and I found it in the shed with a note "next time make sure its a sewing machine" I still 25 years later use that circular saw and smile at my cleverness every time I arc it up!... Oh the sewing machine? I got that for her the year before she left it ONLY took me 25 years to get around to it!!... costly buggar but hey she was the missus so whats 10K for a sewing machine eh?... yep just a snib under 10K she doesnt have to do a bloody thing just present the material push a few buttons and sit back and enjoy a cuppa!! does everything from filling the cotton reels itself to overlocking to embroidery to whatever the hell that fancy lacey stuff is... sheilas eh? cant take a light hearted joke!! ;)
Oh the newlywed fella? yep yer dopey ol mate here :D mind you it never bothered me since I WAS AM AND ALWAYS WILL BE a better cook than she is... just call me "chef" :D :D
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