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Katherine
12-09-2010, 06:23 PM
From Paul to me:

On Thu, Dec 9, 2010 at 5:30 PM, Paul Plessner wrote:

i'm headed out to spend the paycheck i didn't send you on your christmas present

so what do you really want?


From me to Paul:



the Zumba WII game, jewelery, julia childs cook books, YOU!



The reply that may cost him his life:

On Thu, Dec 9, 2010 at 6:17 PM, wrote:

Julia childs book??? I thought we we're gonna try to lose weight?

Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless

McMike
12-09-2010, 06:31 PM
Can I have his stuff?

StevenBauer
12-09-2010, 06:37 PM
He's got a nice tractor. Or is that yours, Kat?


:)

Steven

S/V Laura Ellen
12-09-2010, 06:39 PM
he's young ... he might still learn


naaaaa ... not a chance!

Phillip Allen
12-09-2010, 06:41 PM
this thread oughta beat all that political wrangling...

paul oman
12-09-2010, 06:43 PM
books don't make you fat! My advice, read them and weep.

Bobcat
12-09-2010, 06:43 PM
My former business partner bought his wife a vacuum cleaner for Christmas

On their first married Christmas.

He said she just started to weep quietly without saying anything...

He got in the car and went out on Christmas morning and bought some earrings.

WX
12-09-2010, 06:56 PM
My former business partner bought his wife a vacuum cleaner for Christmas

On their first married Christmas.

He said she just started to weep quietly without saying anything...

He got in the car and went out on Christmas morning and bought some earrings.
The two most important phrases a man can learn are:
I'm sorry, it's my fault.
Would you like a glass of wine dear?
:D

Pugwash
12-09-2010, 06:56 PM
You might want to delete that e-mail address, or at least modify it, unless your present back to him is a ton of Spam.

Or maybe that's his punishment.

:)

Rich Jones
12-09-2010, 07:03 PM
And I was thinking of buying the wife a new set of pots and pans for Christmas. Reading this thread just may have saved my life!

WX
12-09-2010, 07:09 PM
And I was thinking of buying the wife a new set of pots and pans for Christmas. Reading this thread just may have saved my life!
Wise man. When all else fails, a good bottle of her favourite tipple works.

switters
12-09-2010, 07:10 PM
I cannot come up with a suitable reply that wont offend at least a few dozen people on the subject of marriage, but I am laughing very hard.

WX
12-09-2010, 07:12 PM
I cannot come up with a suitable reply that wont offend at least a few dozen people on the subject of marriage, but I am laughing very hard.
As Spinner says, the secret is a fast mind and a slow mouth.:D

The Bigfella
12-09-2010, 07:14 PM
Lessee, there's been a couple of lawnmowers over the years and a couple of wheelbarrows.... she keeps wearing them out.

Just realised the other day.... 30th anniversary coming up.

StevenBauer
12-09-2010, 07:28 PM
Doncha just love newlyweds?


:)


Steven

Nanoose
12-09-2010, 07:34 PM
HA!
Good one.
Thanks for the chuckle. :)

Paul Pless
12-09-2010, 08:03 PM
And I was thinking of buying the wife a new set of pots and pans for Christmas. Reading this thread just may have saved my life!Dude. . . I was thinking pots and pans too, but i really think Katherine wants a vacuum. On the pots and pans I can't decide between All-clads or beaten copper. So back to the vacuum, I was wondering if one of those whole house vacuum systems could have a port run to the shop for dust collection. Thoughts???

Phillip Allen
12-09-2010, 08:05 PM
you must not be at home or you wouldn't push the edge like that...

Pugwash
12-09-2010, 08:11 PM
Dude. . . I was thinking pots and pans too, but i really think Katherine wants a vacuum. On the pots and pans I can't decide between All-clads or beaten copper. So back to the vacuum, I was wondering if one of those whole house vacuum systems could have a port run to the shop for dust collection. Thoughts???

Perfectly possible, the only thing is that you would probably have to get her to empty the collection bag more often.

Jim Ledger
12-09-2010, 08:14 PM
Thoughts???

Slim, listen, you've got it backwards. Buy her a cyclone dust collector with a port to do the house. Dont forget the little dodad to do the drapes, maybe wrap it separate and put it in her stocking.

Paul Pless
12-09-2010, 08:14 PM
have to get her to empty the collection bag more often.Brilliant! See the other option was to buy a Powermatic two stage dust collection system for the shop and then run lines to the house. But your way of thinking is way more better. Thanks!

Paul Pless
12-09-2010, 08:14 PM
Slim, listen, you've got it backwards. Buy her a cyclone dust collector with a port to do the house. Dont forget the little dodad to do the drapes, maybe wrap it separate and put it in her stocking.maybe i should start a poll

McMike
12-09-2010, 08:46 PM
Ipad

Concordia...41
12-09-2010, 08:54 PM
maybe i should start a poll

So the poll is on how long you have to live? Or what blunt object she uses?

coelacanth2
12-09-2010, 09:00 PM
He keeps this up, we can call him,"Cyclone" or is ,"Mr.Powermatic" cooler?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X88jCXzX0VA

Milo Christensen
12-09-2010, 09:08 PM
Jeez, Paul, here they got pet hair collecting Hoover vacuums that look much more like a component on a suborbital system than vacuums for $20 off at Target. Such a deal, just in time for Christmas, sale ends 12/18. Psssst - I have developed a special connection with a jeweler in East Lansing. I'm thinking a couple carats of rubies (http://www.google.com/images?rlz=1T4SKPT_enUS409US409&q=rubies&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&ei=oYoBTfHEN4TJnAe_9tjlDQ&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=7&ved=0CF8QsAQwBg&biw=1259&bih=560)might just save your life.

bobbys
12-09-2010, 09:09 PM
Only one way to fix this.

Make up s...
Make up shopping!, Yeah thats what i meant...
Shopping!

seanz
12-09-2010, 09:12 PM
Julia childs book??? I thought we we're gonna try to lose weight?


LOL :D

He's smart, keep him. Subtle is over-rated.

I've just bought Julia Child's book for my partner, the first meal was great, we're still wearing it.

Watch the movie, eat popcorn without the butter.
;)

Allison
12-09-2010, 09:35 PM
Must have internet connection in the dog house that he's in. Trying cutting that off and see how long before he starts toeing the line without his mates to back him up!

Paul Pless
12-09-2010, 09:38 PM
my dog house is pretty comfy:D

Canoez
12-09-2010, 09:48 PM
my dog house is pretty comfy:D

Dude, you haven't reviewed this thread (http://forum.woodenboat.com/showthread.php?123487-Don-t-put-yourself-in-the-Dog-House-this-year.), have you? :d

brad9798
12-09-2010, 09:55 PM
Confucius say:

She who puts man in dog house soon find him in cat house ... :D

Allison
12-09-2010, 09:59 PM
She who puts man in dog house soon find him in cat house ...

Confucius say

Man who go to cat house soon found as corpse in slaughter house!!

Katherine
12-09-2010, 10:03 PM
Confucius say:

She who puts man in dog house soon find him in cat house ... :D
Dogs get the floor, cats get the bed.

brad9798
12-09-2010, 10:19 PM
Dogs get the floor, cats get the bed.

:D I'm just messing with you Kat!

Ed Harrow
12-09-2010, 10:24 PM
OMG... What were you thinking. One should NEVER EVER put such in an email. A phone call is better, but face to face is best. Plausible deniability and all that...

Heaven help me if Sheryl ever sees this, I'll get beat up all over again. There were the nail clippers... I mean these weren't your everyday, garden variety. No, these were genuine antiques. I still think they're damn nice - but I don't point that out. Then there was the car cover I gave her for her birthday. I thought it was a good idea - we wouldn't have to spend so much time washing my car... Then, then, there was the surprise birthday party - it was such a total surprise that when people started arriving Sheryl was in her best grubbies and laying tile in the back hall.

You've still got a chance, albeit a slim one. ;)

Paul Pless
12-09-2010, 10:28 PM
Then, then, there was the surprise birthday party - it was such a total surprise that when people started arriving Sheryl was in her best grubbies and laying tile in the back hall.lmao

Stan D
12-09-2010, 10:31 PM
I don't want to be a buzzkill, but I feel I must relate a true and sad story. All these thoughts are, by themselves, funny. But you do realize that they are based of some idiot really doing something like this. So, this would be one of those stories.

I remember 30 years ago, my sister-in-law spent two days in tears after her a-hole husband gave her a DISH DRAIN BOARD to her for Christmas. And in addition(oh yes, there's more) he had wrapped a 50 lb bag of dog food(meant for the dog) but he thought it would be funny if he put her name it instead the dog.

Now I don't know why, but they didn't divorce until last year. And here's another clue to his ignorance. About 3 years ago, that jackwad emailed me that J.C.Pennys doghouse Youtube thing. Apparently, along with a huge amount of stupidity, he also had a short memory.

David G
12-09-2010, 10:54 PM
Paul,

It's been nice getting to know you. You really will be missed.

Kat - can I have one of the puppies? <G>

brad9798
12-09-2010, 10:56 PM
My wife wanted a new watch for Christmas ... I assumed the stove clock was broken ... and if it is, there is one on the microwave about five feet to the right ... next to the large vent hood. I am SURE that clock is still working ... just looked at it! ;)

botebum
12-09-2010, 10:59 PM
The four stages of a man throughout a marriage-
1.Well Hung
2.Well... hung
3.Well...
4.Noosed

Doug

paladin
12-09-2010, 11:19 PM
You're still young, my child. I only gave jewelry at Christmas and fancy stuff at birthdays, and on our 10th a mink coat. My bed was always warm.

The Bigfella
12-09-2010, 11:49 PM
I think I just stumbled on her present for me in the garage.... there's a carton in there with a pic of a hydraulic motorcycle lift on in. Oops.

doorstop
12-10-2010, 01:00 AM
Hmmmm..... I am intending to buy Cynthia a new Stormy Seas jacket with zip out sleeves. Is this acceptable? Would the auto inflater be more betterer than the manual? Should I get her new ratchet tie downs for the ute as well? HELP!

coelacanth2
12-10-2010, 01:10 AM
Only if the tiedowns come with a new ute to boot...

P.I. Stazzer-Newt
12-10-2010, 02:20 AM
Dude. . . I was thinking pots and pans too, but i really think Katherine wants a vacuum. On the pots and pans I can't decide between All-clads or beaten copper. .... Thoughts???

Nuthin - absolutely nuthin - with a glass lid.

varadero
12-10-2010, 02:34 AM
Just never give any thing that has a plug, is white, or is usefull.
I read somewhere that women leave 100s of subtle clues in the run up to Christmas. I wish they would not be so subtle. That goes hand in hand with the reply to my question, whats wrong?
answer, The fact you have to ask whats wrong.

Allison
12-10-2010, 02:50 AM
I wish they would not be so subtle. That goes hand in hand with the reply to my question, whats wrong?
answer, The fact you have to ask whats wrong.

And this is a problem, how?

ramillett
12-10-2010, 04:07 AM
Katherine after reading the old folks thread I figured I would read this one and see who this newly departed member was and how he managed his demise . Little did I know it was going to bring back 38 years of memories of presents I should not have bought . The one that keeps on coming back to haunt me is when my youngest daughter was born the day before my wife's birthday I took the kids to the department store to pick out her birthday present the boys went for a waffle iron . Even though it was from the kids that look was aimed at me , needless to say I never got a waffle , and was happy when someone decided they needed one for there house :)

The Bigfella
12-10-2010, 05:09 AM
My missus told me for years that she didn't like pearls. Apparently she really did, but she didn't want me spending the money on them. I won (14 years back now) a $4,000 pearl/gold necklace at a charity event.... so I donated it back, knowing that she "didn't like pearls". Oops. It took her until this year to actually tell me she liked pearls.

Rational Root
12-10-2010, 07:30 AM
Julia childs book??? I thought we we're gonna try to lose weight?


The boys got courage. You have to give him that.
Dumb as a block of cheese, but damn he's got courage.

TomF
12-10-2010, 08:53 AM
Beaten copper pots? If the copper isn't beaten before you give them to her, it will be after.

Personally, I think you badly misunderstood an opportunity, with Kat's suggestion of Julia Child books. Lose weight and you might just fit into that abandoned well after all.

Joe Dupere
12-10-2010, 08:55 AM
Well, based on the thread title, she ain't killed him yet, or he's posting from beyond the grave!! :D

Joe, FFPoP

paul oman
12-10-2010, 09:55 AM
Epoxy resin makes a wonderful Christmas gift for the man or woman in your life. Call me to order...............

Harry Miller
12-10-2010, 10:33 AM
Actually I only need the hardener.

Paul Pless
12-10-2010, 10:34 AM
Actually I only need the hardener.check your junk email folder

David G
12-10-2010, 11:23 AM
Pless - you're still here? I guess that means no puppy, eh? <sigh>

ChaseKenyon
12-10-2010, 11:40 AM
For a wife (or steady girlfriend), even if she asks specifically for something practical....... You can get the practical thing and then do the mandatory thing also.

It has to be pretty.
It has to be able to be worn.
IT HAS TO BE UN NEEDED!
It has to have frequent opportunity to be worn.
The more opportunity the better.
It has to say in some in form that you buy her something pretty like it because you love her without opening your mouth.

Then you have to notice it every time she wears it and say how happy your are that you got it for her and how good it looks on her.
Keep telling her how good it looks on her till the third time she says ok ok enough.
Then back off to once a week.

After six months back off to final of every other week average but better to say it three times in two weeks and so on.

Mothers are necessary to teach young males how to make and keep a woman happy. I had a great one.

This year for Christmas, for her big thing (we do this as a season thing from T day to New years eve), I got her a very special watch.
I stayed up late one night on the internet (after two weeks of preparation)and at 3:45 AM was able to sneak a bid in and get the watch for her. It is a Swiss automatic with an ETA(top of the line) movement in 18k gold on all stainless core including the screw( not spring) pins that hold the bracelet together. All the number positions are marked with diamond chips on a machine textured face in 18 k gold. Jewelry store price ranges from list to list plus 15% I checked on line for the big chain stores like Kay Jewelers. List price was $2295. I paid under $200 for it with shipping and rush shipping to get it for thanksgiving day for her. It is not a replica or clone it is the real thing with the exact manufacturers serial number it should have. Which I did verify.

She has other nice watches but does not wear them. She is always asking what time is it? Now with the Automatic and it being so beautiful she wears it all the time.
She teased me about my ulterior motive and I admitted to it and we had a good laugh over it.
THis is how you grow together and after 35 years you still hold hands and love each other more each year. :D:D;);)

Chase

Paul Pless
12-10-2010, 11:54 AM
For a wife (or steady girlfriend), even if she asks specifically for something practical....... You can get the practical thing and then do the mandatory thing also.

It has to be pretty.
It has to be able to be worn.
IT HAS TO BE UN NEEDED!
It has to have frequent opportunity to be worn.
The more opportunity the better.
It has to say in some in form that you buy her something pretty like it because you love her without opening your mouth.

Then you have to notice it every time she wears it and say how happy your are that you got it for her and how good it looks on her.
Keep telling her how good it looks on her till the third time she says ok ok enough.this is so easy, there are many options in the victoria's secret catalogue. . .

varadero
12-10-2010, 11:57 AM
this is so easy, there are many options in the victoria's secret catalogue. . .
But you have to know the size!

ChaseKenyon
12-10-2010, 12:06 PM
this is so easy, there are many options in the victoria's secret catalogue. .

Stop listening to "Larry the Cable Guy". It is only a stage persona. He really is a together due when not out in public.

Paul Pless
12-10-2010, 12:09 PM
i never listen to larry the cable guy

Jim Ledger
12-10-2010, 12:11 PM
this is so easy, there are many options in the victoria's secret catalogue. . .

AND more in the Fredericks of Hollywood catalog...the gifts that keeps on giving.

Ed Harrow
12-10-2010, 12:39 PM
this is so easy, there are many options in the victoria's secret catalogue. . .

I hate to admit to being in a shopping mall recently - there was this one thing we had to get for number 1 daughter. Actually two things - Eye liner and something else. EYE LINER!!!! MY DAUGHTER!!!! (They no longer carry the required color.) Anyway, did you know that beards, even short ones, make good handles? I discovered that as we walked past the VS store. I was then cautioned before we entered the Aveeda (sp?) store. Didn't need more than that.

switters
12-10-2010, 12:44 PM
check your junk email folder


ha ha, took me two hours to get that, very funny.

Allison
12-10-2010, 04:40 PM
this is so easy, there are many options in the victoria's secret catalogue. . .

That can backfire too if you indulge your fantasy and are not smart in what you purchase!

varadero
12-10-2010, 04:50 PM
I wish they would not be so subtle. That goes hand in hand with the reply to my question, whats wrong?
answer, The fact you have to ask whats wrong.

And this is a problem, how?
3 times I had a reply typed out, cancelled. I am not sparring with you.|;)

Allison
12-10-2010, 04:55 PM
I am not sparring with you.

Well Varadero I'm disappointed, where's the fun in that?

You could consider it safe training for learning how to survive with the incomparable Blossom! She sounds like a great lady!

varadero
12-10-2010, 05:00 PM
Are you being subtle again, cryptic even? I need blunt, cards on the table. No spell check.

varadero
12-10-2010, 05:06 PM
Now you are starting to sound like my sister. she lives in Brisbane.

Allison
12-10-2010, 05:07 PM
Varadero, you seem to be a nice guy and you obviously know how to joke and play without getting yourself all in a twist like some of the guys here so it says exactly what it looks like. It would be fun!
Ask around, most people here don't think I have a subtle bone in my body or a sense of humour at all, after all some of them still think I'm a guy or somebody like Don's sock puppet. You obviously do! I'll "respect you in the morning", I promise!

Allison
12-10-2010, 05:09 PM
Brisbane, or as some call it "BrisVegas" too humid for me!
I have to be nice to you, a boatbuilder in Mallorca, I might need your services in a few years when I get to go sailing around there!

varadero
12-10-2010, 05:12 PM
Going to finish "Fall of Giants" now, Blossom is in England with the kids till Tuesday. I respect you now.G´night

Allison
12-10-2010, 05:16 PM
Good book! Enjoy!

Nanoose
12-10-2010, 06:50 PM
this is so easy, there are many options in the victoria's secret catalogue. . .

You really are dumber than a tree, aren't you...:rolleyes:

Allison
12-10-2010, 06:52 PM
You really are dumber than a tree, aren't you...

Yes!! another voice of reason in this thread!

Paul Pless
12-10-2010, 07:01 PM
You really are dumber than a tree, aren't you...:rolleyes:i'm about 50/50 on gifts. . . but i'm learning

my record goes something like this:

coffee table book on wooden sailboats (bleh)
elegant watch (she loves)
lie nielsen hand plane (bleh)
diamond solitaire (she loves)
book about raising chickens (bleh)
necklace with stylized sailboat pendant (she loves)
pink john deere hat (bleh)
chanel #5 (she loves)

are you seeing a pattern here, i think i have it about figured out;)

Nanoose
12-10-2010, 07:03 PM
Ya - yer doin' good there, Paul.
It was the Victoria's Secret that had me concerned.

Allison
12-10-2010, 07:08 PM
coffee table book on wooden sailboats (bleh) Really for Paul!
elegant watch (she loves)
lie nielsen hand plane (bleh) Really for Paul
diamond solitaire (she loves)
book about raising chickens (bleh) Possibly for Paul?
necklace with stylized sailboat pendant (she loves)
pink john deere hat (bleh) Hopefully not for Paul!
chanel #5 (she loves)

Cuts the list down a bit!:D

Phillip Allen
12-10-2010, 07:12 PM
You really are dumber than a tree, aren't you...:rolleyes:

it's worse than that...it's just the stump :)

Ed Harrow
12-10-2010, 07:30 PM
Are you being ... cryptic even? ...

No way, cryptic's my job! I'll call my Union and have this place shut down in a heart beat!!!

Peter Malcolm Jardine
12-10-2010, 08:09 PM
My last gifts:

Versace Necklace
Diamond Solitaire
Coach purse
coach wallet
Sapphire pendant and earrings
Roberto Cavalli Bag
Tag Heuer watch

You have no idea how much trouble I get into.;)

Allison
12-10-2010, 08:23 PM
Obviously a lot and for a long time, remarkable that you are still breathing!

Paul Pless
12-10-2010, 08:30 PM
remarkable that he's still solvent

Pugwash
12-10-2010, 09:08 PM
http://haphappy.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/vintageads8.jpg

Pugwash
12-10-2010, 09:10 PM
http://www.businesspundit.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/ads-6.jpg

S/V Laura Ellen
12-10-2010, 09:13 PM
http://www.businesspundit.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/ads-6.jpg

Well I guess that solves my gift shopping dilemma, I never know what to get.

Pugwash
12-10-2010, 09:19 PM
Well I guess that solves my gift shopping dilemma, I never know what to get.

This might help.

http://img.izismile.com/img/img3/20100527/640/very_sexist_ads_640_15.jpg

paladin
12-10-2010, 10:58 PM
There are a few things I learned being married to a Ukrainian woman.......
Never give a dozen roses, it sez you are cheap, always give 13 or more (I always gave 2-3 dozen)
Never give perfume, it sez you think she smells bad and needs something to cover it.
Never bring alcohol into the house to drink except for guests.....and always a good wine.
Don't spend money on flimsey lingurie, flannel is warmer and easier to get out of in bed.
But she loved nice Thai silk.......

S/V Laura Ellen
12-10-2010, 11:39 PM
This might help.

http://img.izismile.com/img/img3/20100527/640/very_sexist_ads_640_15.jpg

Thanks a lot Pugwash

So I asked my wife to fill it out.
Didn't work as well as you suggested, not any where near as well.

paladin
12-11-2010, 12:16 AM
Yesterday Khols had a sale on kitchin ware, I needed a couple of teflon coated eggfrying pans, old ones were getting ratty. Khols was 100 yds from the dialysis center, so after dyalysis I drove over to check out a set of really heavy cast iron stuff,. I checked out the kitchin' wares and came home with a set of solid cast iron cook ware covered with porcelain, insides a cream color, all the rest a chocolate brown.

erster
12-11-2010, 09:04 PM
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1543292789?bctid=3130509001

Allison
12-11-2010, 09:12 PM
So I asked my wife to fill it out.
Didn't work as well as you suggested, not any where near as well.

Someone else spending a few winter nights in the confines of the doghouse?:d:d

Pugwash
12-11-2010, 09:20 PM
Didn't work as well as you suggested, not any where near as well.

I'll bet there was crying involved.

Probably not her.

Nanoose
12-11-2010, 09:46 PM
Yesterday Khols had a sale on kitchin ware, I needed a couple of teflon coated eggfrying pans, old ones were getting ratty. Khols was 100 yds from the dialysis center, so after dyalysis I drove over to check out a set of really heavy cast iron stuff,. I checked out the kitchin' wares and came home with a set of solid cast iron cook ware covered with porcelain, insides a cream color, all the rest a chocolate brown.

Sounds like Le Creuset?

S/V Laura Ellen
12-11-2010, 09:48 PM
I'll bet there was crying involved.

Probably not her.

Naw...It's nowhere near as bad as some of my past faux pas.

paladin
12-11-2010, 10:24 PM
Sounds like Le Creuset?

That's the stuff. Ain't tried it yet.

Felt really bad so stayed in Annapolis.

Lew Barrett
12-11-2010, 10:39 PM
I got a PM from Paul yesterday: Proof of life!

S/V Laura Ellen
12-11-2010, 10:43 PM
I got a PM from Paul yesterday: Proof of life!
It could be Katherine (or a hit man she hired) logging in with Paul's credentials.

Pugwash
12-11-2010, 10:47 PM
It could be Katherine (or a hit man she hired) logging in with Paul's credentials.

She posted his e-mail address on the interwebs, it could be anyone.

It might be Anonymous, just don't click on any links.

I hope you like pizza.

skipper68
12-11-2010, 11:03 PM
:d:d:dMuch fun from this!!(I'm trying to speak no speeky inglish,with the world,as it is,;))Lotsa fun here!