View Full Version : What I like about Retirement......

12-03-2010, 03:25 PM
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after s/he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who continues to work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one can call your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with ?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.

12-03-2010, 03:28 PM
Sailing every day the weather allows, or not as I please.

12-03-2010, 03:41 PM
Good to see you Chuck, is all well?

12-03-2010, 04:41 PM
Locked up again at home.....severe infection, stuffing me fulla dope/antibiotics, dunno let me out, mean nursemaid. I was told to rest so was sitting up with a nice wool blankey on me lap, ditty bag in hand, pretending to be Vince Brennan, when the "lady" (old harpy) from the senior center arrives and starts yelling that I'm supposed to be in bed resting. I told her I was resting and excercising my hands. The old bat has a reall obnoxious shrill voice.