PDA

View Full Version : Polyestermites are back.



paladin
08-04-2010, 04:03 AM
I think I am scheduled for assassination.......

Suzie was driving me to dialysis yesterday, and started talking about her boat, a 36? foot houseboat. She started describing a noise that seems to manifest itself every evening when she stretches out on the sofa, sorta sounds like rice crispies in a fresh bowl of cold milk....I told her it was polyestermite season and for the next 30 minutes went into great detail of the anatomy of the critters and how they function, and eat through the hull of fiberglass boats. I suggested that she have the boat hauled and inspected asap, and pointed her to a person in Deale that has quite a bit of experience with them.
She used the time from when she dropped me off and picking me up to stop in Deale and talk with the exterminator (a long time friend). Over the years I have sent him many clients to get rid of the things. He had Suzie sit, have coffee, and go over all the details and agreed to take a look at the problem.......
Apparently she went home and started doing some research on the web.....at three a.m. the phone rings and I hear some really bad words and something about my gronicles in a jar......Maybe I better take her to breakfast somewhere nice.

Curtism
08-04-2010, 04:19 AM
Sounds like you're gonna need a kevlar cod piece too . . .

Curtis

seanz
08-04-2010, 07:18 AM
Maybe I better take her to breakfast somewhere nice.

Somewhere with linen.......

:D:D

Andrew Craig-Bennett
08-04-2010, 07:20 AM
Good one, Chuck.

The rice krispies sound is caused by shrimps, and you don't get the noise in a respectable wooden hull because the planking deadens the sound..

C. Ross
08-04-2010, 07:32 AM
Heh. A man Snipes the woman who takes him to dialysis. Is this a good survival strategy?

Has mighty Man learned nothing from the defensive techniques of the lowly Polyestermite or the wily Gronicle Weevil?

botebum
08-04-2010, 07:49 AM
Hilarious Chuck! Maybe not too bright, but certainly hilarious:D

Doug

Mrleft8
08-04-2010, 09:04 AM
Must be feeling better......For now.....:D

willmarsh3
08-04-2010, 09:22 AM
That was funny! You get these in steel too. Or - at least the sound.

paladin
08-04-2010, 10:22 AM
Actually I was feeling a bit ornery yesterday....one of the antibiotics makes me quite ill....and I was trying not to be so down......
She picked me up this morning and I treated her to a nice breakfast in Prince Frederick. She didn't have any dogs to walk this morning.

paul oman
08-04-2010, 10:25 AM
Some place deep in my fading brain cells, I recall something about 'shrimp' noises through the hull. I think Andrew might be right.

SchoonerRat
08-04-2010, 10:40 AM
Sail magazine, in the early '70s ran an article on polyestermites in their April 1st issue. Among the symptoms were gel coat blistering and crazing - common problems for frp construction in those days. Someplace in the article was a suggestion to contact the manufacturer of your boat for a solution. At the time I was the service manager for Jensen Marine in Costa Mesa, Cal. The article generated a FLOOD of phone calls to the plant from panic stricken boat owners, all of which were passed on to me.

I quickly learned that trying to explain the April Fools nature of Sail's article got me nowhere. After a couple days of wasted time on the phone with customers who refused to listen to me, I devised a simple solution that not only got the customers off my back, but at the same time got even with Sail Magazine.

"Sir, I'm sorry you are having this problem with your boat. This is not a thing that we, or any of our competitors can deal with at the manufacturing level. Some of the staff at Sail Magazine have developed a simple cure for any infected boat. They are reluctant to divulge the nature of this cure, as they are in the process of trying to patent and market the formula. Be insistent when you request this information."

Stan D
08-04-2010, 10:42 AM
She didn't have any dogs to walk this morning.

Maybe that's why she didn't take kindly to your...... advise(?).

paladin
08-04-2010, 11:01 AM
The polyestermite thing go's waaaay back before the sail magazine article....

SchoonerRat
08-04-2010, 11:22 AM
But before the Sail Magazine thing they had NO influence on my life.

After --- they were a major PITA!!

To answer your next question No, I do not have an FRP butt!!!

:D

knottyBuoyz
08-04-2010, 11:33 AM
Good one Chuck! Thnx for the laugh. Reminds me of the time I had the wife take her car in for service and to make sure she told the service manager to check her headlight fluid! :-)

Andrew Craig-Bennett
08-04-2010, 11:36 AM
Don't forget the green oil for the starboard lamp.

SchoonerRat
08-04-2010, 11:40 AM
How about compass points and relative bearing grease?

paladin
08-04-2010, 11:51 AM
Actually, Andrew....several years ago I gave her the trawler lamp from my boat when I replaced it with the smaller Captain's lamp...I also gave her a set of oil running lights for when she putt putt's out to the middle of the bay fishing......I also gave her a bottle of red oil and a bottle of green oil, a few months later she was asking where I got the green oil....(Ace hardware sold a gold color with the anti bug stuff in it, and green and red for table lamps)...not missing a chance for a little fun....we drove all over Annapolis looking for green oil...all the marine hardware stores carried only red or clear.........I finally took her to dinner at the Chart House, but didn't explain to her until the next day that she didn't need green oil......
Sorta like when she asked me what are bilges, and then about bilge pumps and a few other things.....The lady is very nice and a lotta fun.

Mrleft8
08-04-2010, 12:12 PM
You do like to live dangerously, don't you?.... :D

OconeePirate
08-04-2010, 03:57 PM
I worked for a while at a place that sold Mercedes and BMW parts. BMW calls their exhaust hangers muffler bearings. I seriously thought that one of the salesman had put relabled boxes on the shelf for gits and shiggles.

John B
08-04-2010, 05:18 PM
Good one, Chuck.

The rice krispies sound is caused by shrimps, and you don't get the noise in a respectable wooden hull because the planking deadens the sound..

oi, I resemble that remark.

Snapping shrimp, can't hear yourself think with em sometimes. We must have bigger ones or more of them because they can be very loud through Waione and Riada for that matter.
Not as big as the Australian ones though, they only fit 10 to a cooking pot.:rolleyes:
eh boys. ( Australia is the Texas of the south pacific y'know.. everything is bigger)..:d

JimD
08-04-2010, 05:49 PM
But she does know what gronicles are. I bet she knows what vice grips are, too.

David Tabor (sailordave)
08-04-2010, 05:53 PM
Chuck, you continue to crack me up! I'm not sure which is better the polyestermites or the Red/Green lamp oil.

Does this mean I need to burn CLEAR oil in my Anchor light?

knottyBuoyz
08-04-2010, 06:06 PM
Does this mean I need to burn CLEAR oil in my Anchor light?
Well Duh! (as my kid says) :-)

B_B
08-04-2010, 06:09 PM
Chuck, you continue to crack me up!
It's weird after being sent on a couple fools errands this lady doesn't take everything Chuck says with a grain, or shaker, of salt ... we oughta have some mercy on these trusting souls. ;)

Peter Malcolm Jardine
08-04-2010, 06:52 PM
Good story. Glad you're feeling well enough to pull these stunts ;)

Garret
08-04-2010, 06:52 PM
At my 3rd mechanic's job (I was prolly 19 or so), I got sent to the parts store for a muffler bearing during my first week. I went into the store & asked them what their largest ID front wheel bearing was. Turned out they had a 2 incher. I then asked if I could go look at the mufflers & while looking at me rather strangely the guy behind the counter (this was back in the days of real parts stores) said sure. I found a muffler with a 2" OD exit pipe & slid the bearing over it. When I came back to the counter, the guys took one look at it & cracked up. "Tony send you for a muffler bearing?" Yup I said. "OK, we'll put it on his account".

Got back to the shop & handed it to him without a word & went back to the job I was working on. Got a 25 cent per hour raise effective that day (that was 10%!).

I am looking forward to using the red & green oil. Chuck - you are an evil man & the world could use more evil of this sort!

John B
08-04-2010, 07:46 PM
When Chuck told here about the polyestermites a few years back I nearly died laughing... never heard of em before that. The funny thing is when I first started boating and heard the noise , the people I asked told me it was Electrolysis. There were numerous conversations, a lot of dead pan. Electrolysis just a nibbling away at your bolts boy.

Breakaway
08-04-2010, 10:19 PM
Great One Mr. Paladin. My dad had your sense of humor. Boating with him as a kid-- I must have been 7 or so, we sought diving terns as an indication of schooled and feeding fish. Upon finding a flock all funneled-up and feeding, he proceeded to insstruct me on the differences between the arctic tern, the left tern and the right tern. The biggest fish lie beneath feeding flocks of right terns dont ya know.

Here's another anecodote, while iceboating a few years back (South Bay Scooter my friends grandad built) old Christmas trees were placed out in the bay as turning marks and to mark soft spots. When the ice is good and the sailing fine, it draws quite a crowd, many of whom arent at all "water people." One such couple approached us as we sailed into the beach/staging area and asked about the trees. 'What are those pine trees doing out there?," he said. My buddy replied: "Those are saltwater spruce, grows only in a few select places and this is one of them. Those are only the tops, the trees are 80=100 feet tall, rooted in the bay bottom."
The guy ran off shouting to his freinds about saltwater spruce and the group of them all started taking pictures and asked whether they could cut sprigs to take for possible transplanting...

Ah, ya gotta have fun in life and your posts help me do that today.

Thanks
Kevin

paladin
08-04-2010, 10:24 PM
I must have been forgiven.....She came by while I was asleep and woke me up for a blood sample. I have to get checked every three days.....I thought she was taking a long time but she was going real slow, then said "That's two pints, I'll be back for more tomorrow"......I was so doped up I didn't get it at first so the joke didn't take.

Jim Brown Started Trimaraner magazine a gazillion years ago and folks would send in things that world cruisers needed to know far from home....I first read about polyestermites there.

Bob Adams
04-27-2014, 06:43 PM
Reserecting Chuck's thread because the damn Gormet Gribbles done tore up my new piece of frozen snot. I guess it's payback for all those years as a wood boat owner that I smugly laughed at those with the problem. Anybody know where I can buy the radioactive bottom paint that makes the gribble's antennae fall off?:D

George Jung
04-27-2014, 08:54 PM
Ya gotta scrape the dials of, like, a kazillion watches, suspend it in bottom paint, and roll it on quick before it eats the bottom outta the can. Wear your codpiece. DAMHIKT