There once was a man from Nantucket

[rbgarr]

Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

But he followed the pair to Pawtucket,
The man and the girl with the bucket;
And he said to the man,
He was welcome to Nan,
But as for the bucket, Pawtucket.

Then the pair followed Pa to Manhasset
Where he still held the cash as an asset,
But Nan and the Man
Stole the money and ran,
And as for the bucket, Manhasset.

[landlocked sailor]

I first read that in the ferry to Nantucket on our honeymoon in 1983! Thanks for the memory! Rick:)

[ILikeRust]

That's different from the version I learned in 7th grade...

[bamamick]

Big smile on a Friday morning. Thanks, Dave.

Mickey Lake

[WX]

There was a young man from Clare that use to s**** his girl on the stair, on the 44th stroke the banister broke and he polished her off in mid air.

[Peter Malcolm Jardine]

There was a young fellow from Leeds,
who swallowed six packets of seeds.
In a week, silly ass, he was covered in grass
and couldn't sit down for the weeds.

[Michael D. Storey]

I have had this ending to a limerick in my head since I was 17:

Does your eastit the least bit, have the best bit of your westit, or is it merely a trick of perspective?

I can't come up with the beginning. Maybe something about a lynx-eyed detective?

[Stan D]

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Peter Malcolm Jardine]

Two tutors who tooted the flute
sought to tutor two tutors to toot
Said the two to the tutors
Is it harder to toot?
Or to tutor two tutors to toot.

There was a young lady named Jeannie
who wore an outrageous bikini
two wisps light as air
one here, and one there
and nothing but Jeannie betweenie

[dld]

there was a young man from Hyde
at a funeral was spied
when ask who was dead
he giggled and said
I don't know I just came for the ride

[Nicholas Carey]

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
In space that is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

Edward Lear has a lot to answer for (unless it's the Canadian's fault -- apparently the earliest known cite for a limerick is the November 30th, 1880, issue of St. John, New Brunswick's Daily News (http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=Fx81AAAAIBAJ&sjid=kCYDAAAAIBAJ&pg=3306,6135404&dq=come-to-limerick&hl=en) (column 1):

There was a young rustic named Mallory,
who drew but a very small salary.
When he went to a show,
his purse made him go
to a seat in the uppermost gallery.

Tune, wont you come to Limerick.

[CapnJ2ds]

I have had this ending to a limerick in my head since I was 17:

Does your eastit the least bit, have the best bit of your westit, or is it merely a trick of perspective?

I can't come up with the beginning. Maybe something about a lynx-eyed detective?

Limericks are filthy disgusting perversions of the English language. They should be banned and their perpetrators and users shot!:mad:

To his new bride the lynx-eyed detective
Said "Are you a bit breast defective?
Has your East tit the least bit
The best of your West tit
Or is it a trick of perspective?":D

And after we've shot the limerickers, we can go out and hunt down some punsters just for pun.;)

[S B]

As I heed to nature's call
I write upon the washroom wall
could it be
my feeble wit
only shines where others s.............

[Sailor]

I recall on my dad's bookcase a large volume. It had a yellow Jacket cover and was nothing but limericks. I spent a bit of time with that one.

[Ian McColgin]

CapnJ2ds, there are a few versions that use this rhyme. One goes:

The codger peering through lenses corrective
Asked his whore with mounting invective
Could it be your east tit
Has the least little bit
On the west, or is it perspective.

[nautiguy]

There was a young man from Boston
Who had a little Austin
He had room for his ass and 10 gallons of gas
But his B---s hung out and he lost them.

[andrewe]

There was a young man from Ghent
Who's member was exceedingly bent
To save himself trouble, he put it in double
And instead of coming, he went.

heard circa '62

[TerryLL]

There was a young lady from Siam,
Who said to her lover named Priam,
To take me of course,
You'll have to use force,
So I'm glad that you're stronger than I am.