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paul oman
01-07-2010, 11:05 AM
"YOU MIGHT BE A TALIBAN IF..."

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

11. Your cousin is president of the United States

pefjr
01-07-2010, 11:10 AM
Oh....man,... the liberalies and PC are gonna hang you for this

Phillip Allen
01-07-2010, 11:17 AM
I think he added that last one...

Garret
01-07-2010, 11:20 AM
I think he added that last one...

As a test to see if we actually read all 11?

Guess we did....:eek:

Phillip Allen
01-07-2010, 11:29 AM
I guess that makes two of us...

TomF
01-07-2010, 11:33 AM
1-10 were a riot. Foxworthy's very funny.

pefjr
01-07-2010, 11:49 AM
1-10 were a riot. Foxworthy's very funny. And 11 is not funny?

You might be a liberalie if 11 is not funny.:D

Ian McColgin
01-07-2010, 11:51 AM
Most of this comes off a variety of right wing internet sites. Paul Oman's decision to post it without credit and even as if it were actually Foxworthy, as opposed to an obvious parody of Foxworthy as most of the right wing sites have the good taste to do, shows astonishing disrespect for WBF and for his own mind.

That said, it's with slightly guilty and racist pleasure that I find some of these really funny. It's important for humor to have no respect.

Hal Forsen
01-07-2010, 11:52 AM
You might be a liberalie if 11 is not funny

And you might a dumbass redneck if you think it is..... :D

pefjr
01-07-2010, 11:54 AM
You might be a muslim if humor and cartoon drive you to jihad instead of laughter

Hal Forsen
01-07-2010, 11:56 AM
They hate us because of our laughter ;)

pefjr
01-07-2010, 11:57 AM
And you might a dumbass redneck if you think it is..... :D
I am a full fledged da redneck:D

bobbys
01-07-2010, 12:00 PM
. Allahu akbar!!!!!

pefjr
01-07-2010, 12:00 PM
And you might a dumbass redneck if you think it is..... :D

I confess, Father I have sinned. I have laughed at a joke. Forgive me.

pefjr
01-07-2010, 12:06 PM
This thread will have a short happy humorous life and then go poof. PC rules

Phillip Allen
01-07-2010, 12:14 PM
Most of this comes off a variety of right wing internet sites. Paul Oman's decision to post it without credit and even as if it were actually Foxworthy, as opposed to an obvious parody of Foxworthy as most of the right wing sites have the good taste to do, shows astonishing disrespect for WBF and for his own mind.

That said, it's with slightly guilty and racist pleasure that I find some of these really funny. It's important for humor to have no respect.

is the source a discredit or an ad hom argument?

Ian McColgin
01-07-2010, 12:32 PM
If I read my remarks in normal English, I see that it's "Paul Oman's decision to post it without credit . . ." I objected to. The source itself is not a discredit and cannot be "an ad hom[sic] argument?".

While it's important for humor itself to have no respect, it can't hurt if we all write and cite as if we had respect for each other's intelligence, even when disagreeing with or satyrizing various positions.

Pointed humor will offend someone. I find my sense of how good, as in effective, the humor is partly depends on whose ox is being gored. I have a greater tolerance for bad or not especially funny gags if it's the ox on the right. When it's the ox on the left, the humor has to be sharp enough that it actually hurts before I find it funny.

Ian McColgin
01-07-2010, 12:44 PM
Thank you Donn.

Like the Lonesome Cowboys who love bad jokes, I enjoy bad puns almost as much I like my own misspelling.

Pugwash
01-07-2010, 12:47 PM
Like this?

Or this..

http://www.alaska-in-pictures.com/data/media/1/wood-satyr-butterfly_10534.jpg

TomF
01-07-2010, 12:55 PM
She looks tough enough to take care of herself, Donn. Despite receiving a little fawndling in the process.

seanz
01-07-2010, 03:48 PM
Humour is a strange thing.........puns stranger still. :)
#11 is a joke but wrong.....funny if it appeals to you, if not, not.
#1 is just so wrong (incorrect and not the political kind, either) that I can't find it funny.



#3 is very "cross-cultural"
:D

Captain Blight
01-07-2010, 04:36 PM
They're all funny. I even think #11 is funny, if you change "cousin" to "Brother" and insert the word "prior" before "Pesident." That makes it just a whole lot funnier, especially if you've lived in Florida.

Garret
01-07-2010, 04:54 PM
#1 is just so wrong (incorrect and not the political kind, either) that I can't find it funny.


Is that 'cause they really don't "refine heroin", but just grow the poppies for it?

Inquiring minds.....:eek:

Garret
01-07-2010, 04:58 PM
I have a greater tolerance for bad or not especially funny gags if it's the ox on the right. When it's the ox on the left, the humor has to be sharp enough that it actually hurts before I find it funny.

Wait a sec - that's sounds suspiciously like intellectual honesty! Do the Bilge rules allow that? ;) :p

seanz
01-07-2010, 05:37 PM
Is that 'cause they really don't "refine heroin", but just grow the poppies for it?

Inquiring minds.....:eek:

I wouldn't catagorically state that the Taliban aren't involved in the opium trade....war costs money. Prior to the invasion of Afghanistan it was reported that the Taliban had cracked down on poppy growing, they're anti-everything and that includes drugs.

elf
01-07-2010, 07:03 PM
Wait a sec - that's sounds suspiciously like intellectual honesty! Do the Bilge rules allow that? ;) :p

Generally in the breach, only.

brad9798
01-07-2010, 07:59 PM
Guys- ...

Here we go again with a bunch of baby, whining stuff ... it is funny. Not all true, but funny ...

What is wrong with this place lately? Everyone has to cry about everything?

It's all funny but # blah ... or number blah isn't true ... get the eff over yourselves ... or, simply don't read this type of thread.

If folks are too slow to realize what this list was going to (approximately) be BEFORE opening it ... then I cannot help you! :D

:rolleyes:

Ian McColgin
01-07-2010, 08:29 PM
brad9798, perhaps you might try rereading the posts. Just because individuals did not find ALL of the gags funny does not amount to "a bunch of baby, whining stuff." The only whining I see is yours and it appears to be caused by the absence of whining.

Let me offer you a hankie.

Captain Blight
01-07-2010, 08:40 PM
And some Oil of Olay for that thin skin of his, too.

brad9798
01-07-2010, 09:21 PM
Well, perhaps, I did mis-read things ...

But I still think there is whining! :D

No hankie needed by me ...

I found it funny ... not the greatest, but funny, nonetheless!

:)

PeterSibley
01-07-2010, 09:51 PM
They hate us because of our laughter ;)

and cruise missiles , and just maybe, drones .

ripley699
01-08-2010, 04:04 AM
Syed While you may be insulted by pauls post, take it up with him.

I am deeply insulted by your post .I take great offense to it .
please re-think your post

Thanks

Riple

The Bigfella
01-08-2010, 04:15 AM
Ouch.

Meanwhile the Delhi Mail Today thinks this is funny... it depicts the Australian Police as KKK

http://resources2.news.com.au/images/2010/01/08/1225817/369950-mail-today-klan-cartoon.jpg

The Bigfella
01-08-2010, 04:17 AM
Syed While you may be insulted by pauls post, take it up with him.

I am deeply insulted by your post .I take great offense to it .
please re-think your post

Thanks

Riple

Rubbish. It's no more offensive than 1 to 11 in post 1

In fact, its a pisser

ripley699
01-08-2010, 04:24 AM
big guy ,
I didn't ask you if you were offended..

you can make whatever comments you like but leave me alone..I can think quite well for my self.I don't need your help

The Bigfella
01-08-2010, 04:34 AM
big guy ,
I didn't ask you if you were offended..

you can make whatever comments you like but leave me alone..I can think quite well for my self.I don't need your help

Care to explain just how I interfered with you? I offered a different opinion. Feel free to cry in the corner if you are offended.

ripley699
01-08-2010, 04:41 AM
No class...

seanz
01-08-2010, 05:03 AM
Thou must not insult St Ronnie The Forgetful.
:)

ripley699
01-08-2010, 05:04 AM
Doug ,
Please correct me if i am wrong.
From your last post you seem to think I have a problem with this pauls initial post.
that was not my concern.i was "dissapointed" with Syed's insult of our President,Ronald Reagon.

ripley699
01-08-2010, 05:18 AM
Pardon me Doug,
please point out which post # it was where i said that any of this was funny..
I did laugh at a couple ,but not #11 ..I was ofended by it but i felt that the people who are more "left leaning " would address that particular #.

Would it be okay if i made a racist remark about Syed ?

I thought not

ripley699
01-08-2010, 05:40 AM
It is against my personal rules for any one outside the United states to insult my president ...they usually have a "less than clear " view point of what goes on in my country.

If i have issues with OUR president i will tell you ..\

I don't insult mr brown or any other heads of state. i am not FULLY equiped to do so as i don't live there nor do I understand all the nuances that make up their government.....

The Bigfella
01-08-2010, 06:20 AM
It is against my personal rules for any one outside the United states to insult my president ...they usually have a "less than clear " view point of what goes on in my country.

If i have issues with OUR president i will tell you ..\

I don't insult mr brown or any other heads of state. i am not FULLY equiped to do so as i don't live there nor do I understand all the nuances that make up their government.....

Geez mate, I've even been hit on by a woman who slept with one of your presidents. :D

ripley699
01-08-2010, 06:22 AM
Oh , and what did she have to say about bill ?
[lol ]

The Bigfella
01-08-2010, 07:02 AM
Did I mention any names? You've had a lot more than one Pres who was a "player"

mmd
01-08-2010, 07:35 AM
Uhhh... Ripley? If you hold your presidents in such high esteem, wouldn't you think you'd be able to spell their names correctly? I'm surprised that Donn hasn't chastised you yet... <wink>

Syed
01-08-2010, 08:00 AM
For them, who did not see my post.

I posted a picture of Mr. Ronald Reagan, the president of USA with a bunch of Afghanis in White house, who were then called Mujahidin by US and allies. The very brief remarks which were directed towards western policies and nothing against Mr. Reagan, in person. (Extension of #4 post #1).

mmd
01-08-2010, 08:05 AM
Sorry I missed it, Syed. It seems that the Republican Americans are much more sensitive to perceived insult to their presidents that are the Democrat Americans, especially concerning Reagan.

Pugwash
01-08-2010, 08:10 AM
For them, who did not see my post.

I posted a picture of Mr. Ronald Reagan, the president of USA with a bunch of Afghanis in White house, who were then called Mujahidin by US and allies. The very brief remarks which were directed towards western policies and nothing against Mr. Reagan, in person. (Extension of #4 post #1).

Nothing ever changes,Syed, just depends on who is the enemy of your enemy.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_deE71E-ATQU/R5fOrtwL5mI/AAAAAAAAAAs/XWdR2ITfpBM/S660/saddam%2Brumsfeld.jpg

;)

Syed
01-08-2010, 08:17 AM
I am learning.......... thanks, mmd.

Syed
01-08-2010, 08:45 AM
Doug,
Deleted it due to the shock of a great surprise.


Syed While you may be insulted by pauls post, take it up with him.

I am deeply insulted by your post .I take great offense to it .
please re-think your post

Thanks

Riple

Ian McColgin
01-08-2010, 09:23 AM
I support ripley699's right to expose to all of us what a thin skinned whiner he is. I hope that Sayed comes to understand that robust humor and ripost humor is often more about whose ox was gored than it ever is about good taste or skilled joke crafting.

American humor would be about dead without jokes that don't at least risk racism, classism, blondism etc.

pefjr
01-08-2010, 10:01 AM
It seems that the Republican Americans are much more sensitive to perceived insult to their presidents that are the Democrat Americans.I think the opposite.

pefjr
01-08-2010, 10:07 AM
When telling a joke in mixed company, what is the first thing you must do???




Take a quick look over both shoulders.


I love the old guy Reagan, but I also love humor, repost the picture Syed

Syed
01-08-2010, 10:40 AM
Repost, for the jury to decide;

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, and we get it done by others.

At one time these Afghanis were called 'Mujahidin'.
http://www.globalresearch.ca/articlePictures/reaganandmujahideen1.jpg

Hal Forsen
01-08-2010, 11:12 AM
At one time these Afghanis were called 'Mujahidin'.


Yup. Also known as "Freedom Fighters".
We also gave 'em a lot of money and weapons so they could defend themselves against their oppressors. :rolleyes:

Ian McColgin
01-08-2010, 11:42 AM
I see nothing even remotely offensive in the photo or in it's juxtaposition to joke #4.

In the midst of jokes that risk stupid racism, a couple really do cross the line, and all published here without the acknowledgement of their origin (just a matter of giving credit, not establishing quality) it is absolutely right to have a non-satiric reminder of our past involvements.

Of course, given that most of the terrorists who have actually made it to this nation are not sub-continent, perhaps that picture of Bush 43 holding hands with his favorite Saudi would have been more apposite, even if it did put someone's panties in a dreadful twist.

paul oman
01-08-2010, 11:43 AM
I put up the original post. It was an email sent to me by a customer. I found it funny and don't think the humor should vary depending upon if #11 said past president or current president. If that changes your views of if it is funny or not, you are too political, and too serious.

Actually, I posted it because I know the crazy replies to it would be even funnier to follow than the original post itself. Keep it up, you're all very entertaining!

ripley699
01-08-2010, 11:55 AM
The original post simply said :

"You wipe your butt with your bare hand ,and we get it done by others." Then a picture with president Reagan,it suggested that president Reagan wiped the butts of the middle eastern people with his hand.

Ian ,I wouldn't expect you to understand ..the problem here is with an insult to a republican president...Course if it were a Democratic pres. it would be different..You are tone deaf

Ian McColgin
01-08-2010, 11:57 AM
Donn may be hinting that the Mujahadin were Islamist and all that but were older, less fundamentalist, and more factionally and tribally divided that the emergant Taliban who swept them aside.

If humor and remarks on humor were dependent on full accuracy rather than a bit of stereotyping, we'd all be as humorless as those who want Rushdi killed.

Ian McColgin
01-08-2010, 11:59 AM
Well ripley699, 'tis more blessed to wipe than to lick.

LeeG
01-08-2010, 12:06 PM
The original post simply said :

"You wipe your butt with your bare hand ,and we get it done by others." Then a picture with president Reagan,it suggested that president Reagan wiped the butts of the middle eastern people with his hand.
f

I'm pretty sure the implication is the other way, for a fee we use proxies like any other country seeking to manifest their influence in the world without direct cost/risk. The cold war is our trip and we used Afghanis for the purpose under the guise of "liberation". Once "liberated" we left them to their own and other forces.

All the while pretending we're the shining city on the hill, and the rest of the world can find their own god damned hill, preferable down stream.

Syed
01-08-2010, 12:15 PM
.................................................. .............. we left them to their own and other forces........................................



Using like a toilet paper.

LeeG
01-08-2010, 12:15 PM
I put up the original post. It was an email sent to me by a customer. I found it funny and don't think the humor should vary depending upon if #11 said past president or current president. If that changes your views of if it is funny or not, you are too political, and too serious.

Actually, I posted it because I know the crazy replies to it would be even funnier to follow than the original post itself. Keep it up, you're all very entertaining!


Paul, have any idea how many Pakistanis have died since the GWOT started ?
Either soldiers sent into Wazirstan and western territories or civilians hit by bombs in Pakistan?

I mean it's a hysterical topic and all but do you have any idea?

LeeG
01-08-2010, 12:18 PM
Using like a toilet paper.

ahh but within the context of battling the evil Russians ready to manifest a domino strategy across the world, a mere trifle. At any moment they could be swimming up the Rio Grande, or Montecito to Ronnies ranch.

Ian McColgin
01-08-2010, 12:27 PM
Ah Donn, I thought I was being clear, albeit brief, that having followed the history as best I could, I do understand how the Taliban got the name, how they really are trans-tribal unlike their less extreme Islamist elders, and that they really did start as a splinter group in the Mujahidin.

If you really want to split humorous hairs, why did you not point out that it's not the Taliban who started terror attacks on the US, it's Al Qaida. In point of fact, such few intelligence officers as we have in Afghanistan are looking at negotiation as a way to carve off the Taliban from Al Qaida and making the former if not an ally at least less of an adversary.

Syed
01-08-2010, 12:28 PM
"Hinting?"

The Mujahidin and the Taliban are entirely different from one another, and diametrically opposed to one another. Indeed, the Taliban came into existence in order to oppose and displace the Afghani Mujahidin.


Born in Mewand district of southwestern Afghanistan in 1962, he studied in several Islamic schools outside Afghanistan before joining the Jehad against the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in the 1980s. During the fight against the Soviets, he was reported to have been injured several times including an attack in which his right eye was injured by shrapnel. Upon his return to Afghanistan following the Soviet withdrawal in 1989 Mullah Omar resumed his Islamic scholarship in the various madrassas (religious schools). Consequent to the fall of Najibullah regime in April 1992, as also the anarchy in Afghanistan, he launched the Taliban with active support from the Pakistani military and its external intelligence agency, the Inter Services Intelligence (ISI) in 1994. A large number of madrassas along the Pakistan-Afghanistan border provided a significant number of recruits to the Taliban.

Mullah Mohammad Umar (http://www.satp.org/satporgtp/usa/Mullah_Moh.htm)

LeeG
01-08-2010, 12:40 PM
But I don't, because it's not the topic of the thread.

the topic of this thread is humor based on a cartoon version of the world that works well after a few beers.

Syed
01-08-2010, 12:50 PM
And, it is said, under the hire of the "Afghanistan Transit Trade," a Pakistan-based trucking 'mafia.'

I guess a tribal area based trucking mafia, though technically tribal area is part of Pakistan but practically they are independent.

pefjr
01-08-2010, 01:08 PM
Actually, I posted it because I know the crazy replies to it would be even funnier to follow than the original post itself. Keep it up, you're all very entertaining!Replies are very entertaining, many laughs:D

Garret
01-08-2010, 05:10 PM
Actually, I posted it because I know the crazy replies to it would be even funnier to follow than the original post itself. Keep it up, you're all very entertaining!

Unbelievable! You'd think you'd told folks that their mothers wear army boots...;)

I couldn't agree more. Northern NH will be getting cold this weekend, so I'll picture you sitting by the wood stove chuckling...

seanz
01-08-2010, 11:00 PM
I guess I don't understand what a photo of Reagan with Afghani Mujahidin has to do with a discussion of jokes about the Taliban.

Thanks for sharing......that explains a lot.

seanz
01-08-2010, 11:20 PM
hummm... so that explain the skin tone

It would have been better if you hadn't shared that........
You're back on 'ignore', this time I think it'll be permanent.

chasbartlett
01-10-2010, 02:52 PM
I believe Chuck could give some very accurate and responsible insight to the Afghanis as he was sent there to train them. He spent a few months isolated from the rest of the groups, training about 3-4 dozen of their best. His final report had little to do with weapons and warfare, and more on the Afghanis as a people and their convictions. He was one of very few people actually asked to return. I'll be quiet now. I'm already on his list, something to do with cement overshoes and deep water.

Captain Blight
01-10-2010, 08:40 PM
"Taliban" means "the students." And yes, Donn, some of them *did* get their start fighting the Soviet. There were at least as many splinter groups during Afghanistan's Soviet war as there are today.

paladin
01-10-2010, 09:18 PM
My "students were all between 18/19 and 25 years old. They were hand picked by someone else......I never asked their politics, we made sure that everyone's religious preferences were addresses, they had their food, mine was air dropped at first....I shared mine with them, they shared with me. They were damned good students, never a cross word or disrespect. I tried to leave with as much good will left behind as possible.

Garret
01-10-2010, 09:23 PM
My "students were all between 18/19 and 25 years old. They were hand picked by someone else......I never asked their politics, we made sure that everyone's religious preferences were addresses, they had their food, mine was air dropped at first....I shared mine with them, they shared with me. They were damned good students, never a cross word or disrespect. I tried to leave with as much good will left behind as possible.

Yeah, but you obviously understand that respect breeds respect........;)