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bobbys
12-27-2009, 02:48 PM
The Stranger

A few years after I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our small
Maryland town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting
newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was
quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind,
he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors:
Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger...
he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with
adventures, mysteries, and comedies.

If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always
knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able
to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball
game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped
talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each
other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for
peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to
leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger
never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed
in our home... not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime
visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and
made my dad squirm and my mother blush.

My dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged
us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly,
and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too
freely) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes
suggestive, and generally embarrassing.

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced
strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my
parents, yet he was seldom rebuked... And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our
family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was
at first. If you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find
him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk
and watch him draw his pictures. His name?






We just call him "TV." http://www.roofingtalk.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

pefjr
12-27-2009, 02:56 PM
I know him too!!!

Mrleft8
12-27-2009, 04:13 PM
My parents had a transvestite friend too.... But he only stayed occasional weekends....

sailboy3
12-27-2009, 04:16 PM
Never spent much time with him. Probably 6 hours a year at most.

coelacanth2
12-27-2009, 09:12 PM
Loved it. Everytime our boob toob is down for an extended period, it amazes us just how much better life is. I periodically ban it

pefjr
12-27-2009, 09:19 PM
I periodically sabotage it, but this crew is getting wise.

Keith Wilson
12-27-2009, 11:39 PM
I haven't watched TV with any regularity for twenty years; the last time was election night, I think. My complaints aren't quite the same as the author of this piece, but still . . .

tomlarkin
12-28-2009, 02:47 AM
There are some funny takoffs on this on Snopes:

http://message.snopes.com/showpost.php?p=105480&postcount=16

http://message.snopes.com/showpost.php?p=105419&postcount=15

Flying Orca
12-28-2009, 10:42 AM
Heh. Ain't none of 'em allowed in my house.

pefjr
12-28-2009, 11:00 AM
Heh. Ain't none of 'em allowed in my house.You missing all the bowl games???

oznabrag
12-28-2009, 11:17 AM
You missing all the bowl games???

What's a bowl game?

Phillip Allen
12-28-2009, 11:22 AM
I haven't watched TV with any regularity for twenty years; the last time was election night, I think. My complaints aren't quite the same as the author of this pices, but still . . .

Me too Keith...I don't even have a working TV, just something to watch an occasional DVD on

Phillip Allen
12-28-2009, 11:52 AM
What's a bowl game?

bunch of old farts rollin their balls in the grass

pefjr
12-28-2009, 11:59 AM
Andy Griffin knows football

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKSo7QO7ceo

oznabrag
12-28-2009, 12:12 PM
Andy Griffin knows football

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKSo7QO7ceo

That's 'Griffith'.

pefjr
12-28-2009, 12:21 PM
That's 'Griffith'.Him too.

Mrleft8
12-28-2009, 01:02 PM
Camus called it "L'Étranger"

David Tabor (sailordave)
12-28-2009, 01:14 PM
I periodically sabotage it, but this crew is getting wise.

Hehehehe. I had seen first hand how too much TV made the kids act in ways I didn't like. Sooooo, when I was building my house in 1998 (kids were 7 and almost 4) I had the electrician put a switched outlet where I planned on putting the TV. The switch is in the back of the hall closet hidden behind shelves w/ stuff on them.:D
So every so often the TV would just stop turning on. Damn that thing!:D:D:D AMAZING how when I would try to turn it on, it usually came on!:p

Two years ago son was starting to catch on that something wasn't quite right!
STILL doesn't know about the switch.

Phillip Allen
12-28-2009, 01:22 PM
David... :)

bobbys
12-28-2009, 01:43 PM
Hehehehe. I had seen first hand how too much TV made the kids act in ways I didn't like. Sooooo, when I was building my house in 1998 (kids were 7 and almost 4) I had the electrician put a switched outlet where I planned on putting the TV. The switch is in the back of the hall closet hidden behind shelves w/ stuff on them.:D
So every so often the TV would just stop turning on. Damn that thing!:D:D:D AMAZING how when I would try to turn it on, it usually came on!:p

Two years ago son was starting to catch on that something wasn't quite right!
STILL doesn't know about the switch..

Thats funny.

Bet when you were a bachelor you had the lights rigged to dim and Sinatra come on the radio:D

Captain Blight
12-28-2009, 01:56 PM
Van Morrison is a lot more effective than Sinatra, unless she's a Goth. Then Nick Cave works better.

Someone gave me a TV about 6 months ago. I haven't even plugged it in, I don't even know why I accepted the thing. I use my laptop for about all my entertainment needs. If I could build a custom cable package, with just the channels I want to watch, I might consider TV again. But so far, it's been about 4 years since I watched it with any regularity and I don't miss it at all, at all.

Flying Orca
12-28-2009, 08:25 PM
You missing all the bowl games???

I presume you refer to some kind of televised sports? It's safe to say the answer is "yes". I have been known to borrow or obtain access to a television during the Winter Olympics, and I enjoy the odd championship hockey game if I can catch one at a friend's place, but otherwise I don't do television or televised sports.

What the hell is a "bowl game", anyway? There don't appear to be any answers further along the thread. :confused:

pefjr
12-28-2009, 09:06 PM
I presume you refer to some kind of televised sports? It's safe to say the answer is "yes". I have been known to borrow or obtain access to a television during the Winter Olympics, and I enjoy the odd championship hockey game if I can catch one at a friend's place, but otherwise I don't do television or televised sports.

What the hell is a "bowl game", anyway? There don't appear to be any answers further along the thread. :confused:Man, you are really out of touch with the world. This is College Football Bowl Season. Check out Alabama VS Texas in Pasadena, Ca. Jan 7th, the greatest College Football game in history.
Proposal to the Bama fans (Bamamick, Paul Pless, Margo, etc) (http://www.woodenboat.com/forum/showthread.php?t=100331) (http://www.woodenboat.com/forum/images/misc/multipage.gif 1 (http://www.woodenboat.com/forum/showthread.php?t=100331) 2 (http://www.woodenboat.com/forum/showthread.php?t=100331&page=2) 3 (http://www.woodenboat.com/forum/showthread.php?t=100331&page=3) ... Last Page (http://www.woodenboat.com/forum/showthread.php?t=100331&page=4))
hokiefan
http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/football

Beg, borrow, steal a TV.

bobbys
12-28-2009, 09:12 PM
I presume you refer to some kind of televised sports? It's safe to say the answer is "yes". I have been known to borrow or obtain access to a television during the Winter Olympics, and I enjoy the odd championship hockey game if I can catch one at a friend's place, but otherwise I don't do television or televised sports.

What the hell is a "bowl game", anyway? There don't appear to be any answers further along the thread. :confused:.

You dont seem to have a high degree of intelligence!.

No wait thats to mean to say.

No wait thats what you said to me about not knowing my Queens..

And Bowl games trump silly ole Queens.:D

Flying Orca
12-29-2009, 09:33 AM
Man, you are really out of touch with the world.

"Out of touch with the world"? Really? The world? Because I don't follow college sports in a foreign freakin' country? I'm sorry, that's a ludicrous argument. How many foreign countries' college sports do you follow?


Beg, borrow, steal a TV.

Meh... for the Winter Olympics maybe. American "football" is boring.


You dont seem to have a high degree of intelligence!.

No wait thats to mean to say.

No wait thats what you said to me about not knowing my Queens..

And Bowl games trump silly ole Queens.:D

Actually, I suggested that being unable to identify a picture of one of the most iconic and historically important European queens indicated ignorance, not lack of intelligence. That's indicated by your spelling and grammar. ;)

I would also suggest that if you believe a knowledge of foreign countries' college sports approaches the importance of a knowledge of the history of Western civilization, you're part of the precipitate. :D

pefjr
12-29-2009, 10:00 AM
"Out of touch with the world"? Really? The world? Because I don't follow college sports in a foreign freakin' country? I'm sorry, that's a ludicrous argument. How many foreign countries' college sports do you follow?



Meh... for the Winter Olympics maybe. American "football" is boring.



Actually, I suggested that being unable to identify a picture of one of the most iconic and historically important European queens indicated ignorance, not lack of intelligence. That's indicated by your spelling and grammar. ;)

I would also suggest that if you believe a knowledge of foreign countries' college sports approaches the importance of a knowledge of the history of Western civilization, you're part of the precipitate. :DFish breath, you asked me "what is a bowl game?" I gave you an answer. That's not an argument. Ludicrous??.....hmmm.You have stated before you did live in this "freaking foreign" country, and you have bragged of your great intelligence. So I assume some things from your boast. Obviously I made a mistake, it will not happen again. May climate change descend upon your igloo. Meh.... :D

Flying Orca
12-29-2009, 10:37 AM
Fish breath, you asked me "what is a bowl game?" I gave you an answer.

This is true. You also clearly implied that not knowing about these "bowl game" things made one "out of touch with the world". That's the specious argument I addressed with counter-examples.


You have stated before you did live in this "freaking foreign" country, and you have bragged of your great intelligence.

The former, yes - in fact, I was born there. I also moved to Canada before my first birthday, have never followed professional sports aside from a passing interest in the NHL, and have never followed college sports at all, let alone those in another country. This stuff may be important to you, but it's meaningless esoterica to me, and - I believe - to the vast majority of the world.

As for "bragging of (my) great intelligence", I'll accept this proposition as true if you can produce even one instance wherein I have done so. Good luck - perhaps when you're done you can help Jack look for spelling errors. :D

pefjr
12-29-2009, 11:16 AM
This is true. You also clearly implied that not knowing about these "bowl game" things made one "out of touch with the world". That's the specious argument I addressed with counter-examples.



The former, yes - in fact, I was born there. I also moved to Canada before my first birthday, have never followed professional sports aside from a passing interest in the NHL, and have never followed college sports at all, let alone those in another country. This stuff may be important to you, but it's meaningless esoterica to me, and - I believe - to the vast majority of the world.

As for "bragging of (my) great intelligence", I'll accept this proposition as true if you can produce even one instance wherein I have done so. Good luck - perhaps when you're done you can help Jack look for spelling errors. :DI didn't imply, I joshed. Respond with a counter josh if you like.

Yeah, it's entertaining to me, but must have stirred your curiosity as YOU ask the question.

You have boasted and I would not have to look very far. Accept it or not. Meh.... I think Jack has given up and along with me recognize that you are the king and would probably win the mother of all spelling bees. :D

Flying Orca
12-29-2009, 03:07 PM
I didn't imply, I joshed. Respond with a counter josh if you like.

Oh, humour! I've heard of that. :D


You have boasted and I would not have to look very far. Accept it or not. Meh.... I think Jack has given up and along with me recognize that you are the king and would probably win the mother of all spelling bees. :D

I'd be surprised if I had boasted of my own intelligence, actually - that's not my style. I have certainly made disparaging comments on others' intelligence, though. :o

I dunno about the spelling bees, either - I'd hold my own, but there are words that give me trouble. Knowing some Greek and Latin helps immensely, but some of the Greek roots in particular can be opaque, to say nothing of their peculiar consonant arrangements.